J.C. asks from North Aurora, IL on April 15, 2009
4 1/2 y.o. Pees on brother...Should I Be Concerned About Behaviour??
Okay moms, here is the situation. I am at work and get a text from husband that oldest son ( will be 5 in July) pees all over brother (age 3) while they are playing up in his room. First response was shocked, then what the h*** was he thinking?!. Apparently when asked he doesn't really know why. Now I know that brothers/boys will be boys but this behaviour seems a little above and beyond. We have had our moments with other things in the house and the 3 y.o. gets caught in the middle. What is more bothersome is that the 4 1/2 y.o. doesn't not really seem to think that this was something wrong. As far as punishment we were both kind of at a loss. He has had a few days of no candy/dessert. Maybe it should be more harse. What are your thoughts? Thanks.
A.C. answers from Chicago on April 16, 2009
Wow. I thought I had it bad when my 3 year old peed on our dogs. Is there something besides candy/desserts that he loves that will be more of a punishment if you take it away? I would hope that it's a stage, but the fact that he doesn't think it's wrong would worry me also. Does he do this in the tub? If so, can you give them separate baths? I know that doesn't really cure the problem though. Maybe talk to your pediatrician to get some ideas. I'm sorry I'm not too much help. Good luck!
D.N. answers from Chicago on April 15, 2009
I would definitely be concerned. Wow. I grew up with 3 brothers, 2 older and never anything like this. Is there any chance you could have mom and me or dad and me days? Maybe he needs some attn just for him. Especially since you say the little bro gets caught in the middle. He is at teh age where is gets a little more independant so maybe you could make a point of him being the big brother and having special responsibilities. If nothing changes, you could talk to his doctor.
K.W. answers from Chicago on April 17, 2009
Yes. If he still is continuing to do this despite your best efforts to redirect him and to explain why this can't go on (why it is wrong)-- you need to seek the assistance of your doctor and if he/she is not helpful, talk to a Children's counselor or therapist for intervention approaches. I don't think you need to be hyper-alarmed about this, but you need to take swift pointed action.
M.S. answers from Chicago on April 15, 2009
We have had the same thing happen!!! Our 5 year old peed on his brother. He laughs and thinks it's funny, he does it in the bathtub. I wonder if it's just a 'boy' thing. I did the whole that is so gross/unacceptable etc... It seemed like the more I went on about it, caused him to continue on, touching it etc... So now, I make him pee before he gets in the tub. I don't have a solution for you, just wanted to share my pee story for you! Best Wishes, hopefully it will be a behavior he gets rid of quickly!
K.L. answers from Chicago on April 22, 2009
I agree with Karee W but I'd like to point out one thing that nobody else has said. I just want to make clear w/o a doubt that this behavior is damaging to the younger child. The older child needs to learn (if he doesn't already understand) that doing such a thing is extremely disrespectful and degrading to the other person. This goes way beyond "boys will be boys". You sound like you might know that already but it's really important to stress this to the child. Good luck!