36 Weeks Pregnant with Unfounded Fears of Dying with Repeat C-section or H1N1

Just wanted to address the issue of VBAC and say that I have many female friends who are doctors, and they all feel that a cesarean is safer than a VBAC -- and have all chosen to do cesareans themselves specifically because they feel it offers them a lower risk delivery as far as the safety of the baby. So just something to keep in mind when I saw that you were "pushing for a VBAC" and seemed to infer that there were less risks with that. Doesn't seem to be the conventional wisdom amoung female doctors

For me it was almost constant the last month. I was afraid to say anything to anybody so I was terrified all by myself. I don't know if everyone experiences this but I didn't even want to go to sleep because my dreams were all so real and so scary. After my son was born it went away. Relax and realize it is irrational and it's ok. It isn't an omen of any kind and you aren't crazy. Hang in there things will get back to normal soon.

Hey N.,
The swine flu scare is a huge media tactic. Don't buy into it. I have had quite a few friends who have had it and it was nothing. They said it was less severe than the yearly flu. A great resource is www.mercola.com He reviews the news articles and research articles and gives the unbiased truth. A lot of our news/media coverage is sponsored by pharmaceutical companies who are using the info to make money. Also, if you check out what negative results have occurred as a result of the H1N1 vaccine, I am sure you will be reaffirmed that you made the right choice not to get it. The vaccine has not been tested long enough to know the long term side effects. Additionally, if you read the packaging on any flu vaccine (H1N1 or otherwise) you will discover that the companies are not recommending the vaccines to pregnant or nursing women. However, for some odd reason, the AMA is encouraging it.

Oh, I'm sorry you're worrying instead of enjoying your pregnancy. If my story helps...not only have I had an emergency c-section and followed up my second birth with a second cesarean, I've also lived through a bout of H1N1 (both my kids) as has a dozen or so of my friends. The second c-section was simple - the first one wasn't so bad other than the fact is was sprung on us due to the baby's diminishing heart rate. But the process wasn't so horrible! As a matter of fact, I think recovery was easier the second time!!
As for the swine flu, the media has us in a frenzy. It's a FLU. Fever, lethargic, ending in a cough. But it's no different then all the other flu's I've experienced or watched through my children. If you are healthy, and got it, I'm sure you'd fair just fine. And hopefully, you won't even get it and have nothing to worry about!
Sing Sarah McLauchlin. It's a BEAUTIFUL song! As she says in "Angel"... "May you find some comfort here..."

Good Luck and enjoy waiting for your new bundle to arrive!

Having the same fears, I went to a birthing center, knowing that they help you avoid c-section. Unfortunately, I had a 12 pound baby and ended up at the navy hospital for a c-section. Not going through it was not an option. I had to give it to God. After it was over, I cried profusely for weeks. My mom told me that my cousin had anxiety and that he prayed his way out of it. So, that is what I did. Me worrying about death did not change anything. Every day that I cried and was consumed by death, was a day I did not enjoy the life God gave to me. The truth is, that we don't know when we are going to die and everyday that we are consumed by it, it is a day for the devil to win. He took your day and will keep taking it.

Ask God to take the fear away and give you peace. He can. He did for me. I went to China in 2007. Prior to that, I would not of gone on a long trip without my children. I was tooooo scared of dying. Not anymore. I love God and I know He loves me and He will take care of me and my children no matter what.

God Bless!

J.

Hi N.,

I went through the same thing at about the same time while I was pregnant with my second child. My mind kept fearing the unknown, the room I slept in would creak at nigt, and that made it worse. One night I had a very scary dream about an african american midwife (you know like with a white cloth on her head, apron and all) who was sitting next to me on my bed, telling me I was going to die, and when I asked her if it would be while I was giving birth she kept quiet, I woke up and looked in the direction of where she was sitting to find nothing of course, but what scared me the most was that when I looked in that direction which faced the window the motion sensor light ourside turned on, I turned back and covered from head to toe, I was soooooo scared. Anyway, I went to my church, they prayed for me, and it did help, but most importantly, here I am, 9 years later. I don't know what happens and why, but I know your are not the only one going through that, and be rest assured you'll be fine. Are you having a girl by the way? I was. Maybe say a prayer, light a candle or whaterver it is you do to connect with your higher power. I hope I was of some help :)

Just wanted to let you know that I had moments of panic with baby #2 as well. I didn't have a C-section and the H1N1 virus wasn't going around so I didn't have much of an excuse to have such fears. I was so worried that I would die in child birth and leave behind my daughter. I am sure part of it is hormonal but I have to admit that some of it stayed with me. I am supposed to have a 3rd knee surgery but am too scared to get put under. Also, I really want a breast reduction now that I am done having children but again I am too nervous about anesthesia. I have never in my life wanted to live as much as I do now that I have kids. The thought of missing out on any part of their lives terifies me. Perhaps some of my fears stem from losing my mom at 23 and my mother-in-law at 29. Although I was "grown up" they were certainly taken while they were what I would consider too young.

Sorry to ramble, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone with your fears. I think what you are feeling is normal. I wish you the best with your birth, may it be a happy, healthy experience!

Ih ad different reasons for my fear of death when pregnant with baby #3. I had done all the fertility shots to get pregnant with my first two kids, and then accidently got pregnant ON the birth control pill with our last. I was not ready for another baby (the two boys are barely 14 months apart) and the entire pregnancy I was just not excited about having another baby....towards the end (around 36 weeks also) I had finally formed a strong attachment to this baby and then I knew he was going to die since it took me so long to have feelings for him. Then during delivery we almost lost him and we had to have an emergency Csection (my fist Csection) and him and I both nearly died. The fear took months to go away, he is now a wonderful, healty, 4 year old (who is such a gift that it hurts my heart with pride just to think about him) Hormones are tricky little things that can make even the smallest thought get way out of control, you, you son, your hubby and your new addition are all going to be fine, and in a few months time when all those hormones get back in proper working order you will be able to laugh at the silliness of it all. I have many stories about hormones that were AWFUL at the time, but now that the kids have grown a bit and time has passed, I laugh about most of them now =-) God bless, and dont feel like you can not talk to you doc about these fears, they are YOUR feelings very important. The best of luck to you all.

Fears surrounding birth are VERY common. I would suggest looking for a good childbirth educator or doula that can direct you to classes on how to face those fears and let them go (especially regarding a VBAC.) Good luck!

Hi - I think it could be hormonal. I developed symptoms of OCD before and after delivery, and also when I weaned my son (not when I weaned my daughter but I was pregnant at that time). It sounds like you are having obsessive thought about dying - irrational thoughts that you can't shake. Also, the trauma of the first delivery can be triggering some fears. Try to shift your thinking away from the thoughts when they come. Maybe meditation would help you or progressive relaxation. Good luck.

Hi, N.,

As a mother who has had two c-sections and had complications (from allergic reactions to tape and adhesive chemicals that were put on me), I understand you being concerned. However, I think that your level of concern is extreme.

Coming from the mental health field, it sounds as though you are suffering from anxiety. I recommend psychotherapy, cognitive-behavioral as well as other forms. I can recommend a great therapist that I worked with this year.

I also recommend guided imagery and meditation. You might really like Belleruth Naperstek's line of CDs as well as Jon Kabat-Zinn's book Full Catastrophe Living.

Best wishes,
Lynne E

It sounds like you are having anxiety that is causing you a lot of distress. I am a psychotherapist and would highly recommend you see a cognitive-behavioral therapist in your area. Here is a website to find someone who specializes in this type of therapy, which is empirically proven to alleviate anxiety in particular: http://www.abct.org Go to the 2nd tab at the top titled "the public," use the drop-down menu to select "find a therapist," and enter your information. Anxiety feels very scary but can be very easy to treat if you are motivated to do the work. I can't speculate on the causes b/c I am not your therapist and would need more information, but if you decide to find a therapist, he or she can help you figure that out as well if you are interested. There is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel--find a good therapist and you will feel so much better!

Not at all! I have never had depression or any other problems and when I was pregnant w/ my first I kept having death fears and that watching movies like PS I Love You, etc were the only things that would make me lose it during my pregnancy. My husband and I went to watch Dark Knight in the theatre and at the end I sobbed uncontrollably b/c Heath Ledger had died. Sure his story was sad but I didn't know him or wasn't a super fan or anything! I ended up writing a long note to my husband and family just in case something did happen. It made me feel better.
I'm due w/ my 2nd in Jan and I don't have the fear. I got my H1N1 vaccine the first time it was available - waited in a 3 hour line but I don't have to worry about that anymore!
I'm having a scheduled c-section in Jan so I'm sure as we get closer I'll start thinking about bad things that can happen. Bad things can happen during vaginal birth too. It's a major ordeal either way as well as adding another family member is a HUGE deal. No wonder your mind is going crazy!
Go get the H1N1 vaccine so you don't have to worry anymore and research ideas on how to cope with fear on the internet. Maybe start up a journal, start talking to people about it, etc.
You are totally normal!!! Good luck to you!

It's not a premonition, just normal weird stuff that happens to your head when pregnant.

I used to have the weirdest dreams - and not in a good way. And find myself contemplating all sorts of horrors, thinking "why am I dwelling on such nasty stuff???" Yeah, there's H1N1, and C-sections are a bit intimidating in their way, but those are just the things your hormone-addled brain is latching onto to explain the general anxiety and weirdness that often hits us when we're heavily pregnant.

Hi N. -

You've gotten some wonderful answers and I fully agree with everyone who says it's your hormones, those little carriers of inner darkness that we all have within us. Of course, they offer much good, but they do seem to affect our moods and thoughts at times. For what it's worth, I want to respond to your focus on the song, "Sweet Surrender." It had been so long since I had heard it that I needed to look it up & read the lyrics myself.

Your subconscious could be working on the fact that your life is about to change, again. You could be thinking about how this will affect your little boy and how he will deal with having to share his mama with a new baby. Your conscious has plenty to work with, scaring you with everything you hear in the news. It's so normal to react to it. I find myself in a state of fear, especially about the swine flu & the vaccine - to do or not to do? Anyway, my point is your conscious mind would go for the "leaving behind" and think the worst.

The word surrender has been a big one in how I perceive motherhood. We just have no choice but to give ourselves up to the new role we take on and it changes constantly, taking us with it. Of course it's worth it, but a bit frightening at times when we have time to think about it, as we do in the middle of the night.

As others who have responded have said, I'm sure everything will be fine. You'll be writing to us with napping & teething questions in a few months. I hope your hormones will let you get some rest so you'll be ready to embrace the new little one with fresh eyes in just a few weeks!

Congratulations and all the best to you & your family.

I'm sending you warm support,
Colleen

This is totally normal, N., don't worry!! I had my 2nd (a girl)3 months ago, my son is about to be 3 years old. I had fears about dying during labor, too, and how awful it would be for my son, and how would my husband deal with everything on his own, and my poor kids, etc, etc...it is definitely hormones and being at a heightened emotional state. Try to talk yourself off the ledge when this stuff surfaces. The media isn't helping with all the H1N1 stuff, and it's unfortunate timing for you, but do your best not to feed your fears too much energy. Whatever decision you make about your labor, whether you decide to try for a VBAC, or you schedule a 2nd c-section, go easy on yourself! Pick the option that creates less anxiety for you. You're going to be FINE, you're going to have a healthy baby, and in a matter of weeks you'll be home with a newborn and a toddler, and the real fun will begin, LOL. Talk to your OB and your husband, girlfriends, let people know you need some support. Have more faith than fear! And try Bob Marley instead of Sarah M!!! ;-)

I cannot address all of your fears but I can tell you that much of it is probably hormonal. I also had an emergency c-section with my first child (now 5) Last year I spent the entire pregnancy of my second child (now 11 mos) scared about having another c-section. People told me this but I did not believe it: A planned c-section is SO MUCH BETTER than an emergency one. Your body already knows how to heal now. You are mentally prepared this time. It took me a good 6 weeks to recover from the first c-section. I prepared for the worst for the second. I bought a "bed wedge" pillow, a step stool for our very high bed, a "grab-it" device so I wouldn't have to reach. I spent the whole day before my surgery crying from the fear and nervousness. And guess what? I ended up having an amazingly easy and even beautiful experience and recovery the second time around. I am so glad because it actually helped erase the trauma and memories from the first experience. I was already going out to stores, etc after 2 weeks with the second surgery. I healed much quicker and with less pain. Anyway, I hope that helps somewhat. You will be just fine! Try not to dwell on the dark thoughts and enjoy every moment you have left of your pregnancy and the then the birthing experience (even the surgery)and the glowing newborn period. It goes so fast. Blessings to you.

Dear N.,

I had 2 kids, both natural and I still had those fears with my second one. I had nightmares, I didn't want to leave my child alone and have a newborn baby I would never meet. I think some of it is hormonal but I would also talk to your doc, like the other ladies said, it's important your OB knows exactly what's going on in your head.

Talk to your husband too and as many friends as you can, whom you know will support you no matter what, to help deal with this. I think the more you talk about it, the better it'll be...voice your fears honey!

My friend had 2 c-sections and she sys the second one was easier, just so you know. Because you are aware of what will happen and all, it's easier to cope with it...

Hang in there!

I was just reading an article in my cookie magazine (at least I think it was cookie) about post partum anxiety...it was a great article to read. I have tested for a low thyroid with both my daughter and now with my current pregnancy. I am on a really low dose, and they moniter me often. They will also moniter me closely after I give birth...I guess it can go even more out of wack. Anyway, you may want to ask your doctor to test your thyroid...it can cause depression, dry skin, loss of hair...etc. Mine never got that bad, but it is worth asking your doctor about. I just got my H1N1 vaccine the other day...I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted since receiving the vaccine. They make you feel like you are going to die if you get the flu...like we don't already have enough to worry about when we are pregnant. I hope that you get things figured out. It's no fun to be stressed out, I definitely have been really stressed this pregnancy too! Good luck!!!!

Oddly, I thought I was the only one who had these types of thoughts. My first delivery was difficult and I had to have an emergency c-section after 36 hours of labor. Frankly I was afraid to have another child because I was obsessed with dieing. When I did, it happened sooner than the date I was scheduled to have a repeat c-section. Since I was in an HMO my doctor had me deliver naturally which saved a lot of money for the HMO. It all turned out well in the end. Lucky for me I didn't know the risks so I didn't freak out during the delivery. Fears of this nature are defiantly fueled by hormones, but they are based on possibilities which are beyond your control. Talking with people who are empathetic will help more than anything else. A good therapist, doctor and friends can help lessen and comfort you through this difficult time. Avoid those people who dismiss and marginalize your fears. Because of the hormones you are unlikely to be able to just wish these thoughts away because others think they are foolish. Make it your job to comfort and take care of yourself from this day forward. I wish you the best; I know how much this hurts.

Hormones and the anxiety of this new life can bring on all sorts of unusual thoughts. You are neither rare in this, nor crazy. Go see a MFT therapist, and it will help ease your pain. Just the fact of doing something about it, will help.

when i had my C sec the whole thing took about 15 minutes to get my son out and then about 30 mins to put me back together..it was almost too easy..and i was 41 at the time..i just watched a film ..Defiance..about the Jews having to live in a forest for years..and their struggle to survive..when i think of how some people have struggled and how hard times have been and they survived it makes me realize how good i have it..and how much further we've come..If you're really worried that something is going to happen ..stay home this month..get rest..be kind to yourself..take on a warrior's attitude ..a i will conquer all..
we're not getting the H1N1 shot..they are now calling any death from any kind of flu etc..swine flu...don't beat yourself up..u should try to get as much rest as u can and get excited about your new baby..you are the master of your mind..so..when bad thoughts creep in ..try to redirect them..think about this new life you're bringing into the world..and now your little 2 year old will have a sibling..people have been making babies since the dawn of man..in all kinds of conditions..and you are going to be fine ..

hugs

D.

Childbirth is the closest I have ever come to dying, so I get why you are afraid. I have a morbid fear of dying ever since giving birth to my child 2 years ago. I realize that her life would be so much more struggle and sadness without her mother, and the thought troubles me often.

I think you should pray, go to pre-natal yoga classes, and find a doula who can work with you now and for a month or so after your second child is born. You need the support of other women. Mamasource is a start, but not hands on, not the touch, voice and comfort you really need right now.

Saying a prayer of protection over you and your children now. Bless you.

I can relate. I too have this fear of death. I am not afraid of death itself-i am afraid to leave my children to be raised by my husband! Hahahaha. Really he is so loving and caring-but by no means a "mom" It is something silly i just keep to myself -so it was fun to read it from someone else!! You are going to be just fine-and you family too! We are such worriers-take a deep breath and realax. I am not sure what your "beliefs" are. However i will tell you that there is a loving God who loves you and cares about you-He says "cast yout cares upon Me, for i care for you" Talk to Him, and let Him comfort you in these times (: XO

Hi N.,

I had to write because I had all sorts of bad thoughts pretty much throughout my pregnancy, here and there. After my baby, it continued for a while then sort of leveled out. For me, I believe it was all about the hormones. I used to read into everything and think all the horror stories some women were dumb enough to share with me would happen to me. My pregnancy turned out just fine. I had a very calming doctor that helped me through some of these irrational fears and thoughts.

I have been consumed as well with all the media hype about H1N1. I even posted a question about my fear about it here, and got some great responses, including one from a woman who did medical writing and said that it is indeed blown way out of proportion, fueled entirely by the media and TV and their need to boost ratings.

Telling you to just try to forget about it may or may not work, but it did help me to know that there were others out there who had the same fears and had a good pregnancy and delivery. If your fears persist, I would have a talk with your doctor. They might be able to help put you in the right direction.

I'm sorry, I don't really have an answer for you. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and that I will be keeping you in my good thoughts and prayers. I am certain that all will turn out just fine for you. Take care of yourself, and try to keep the media hype in perspective.

Best wishes,
L.

It's just one of those things that, unfortunately, we have to deal with as we are pregnant. All the hormone changes and everything else we deal with, especially emotionally. I remember when I was sitting in the hospital parking lot before I went to give birth to my son. I'd never felt scared before. I lost it before we got out of the car. My husband and I said a prayer and I felt a little better. Don't psych yourself out too much! Just try to take yourself to a happy place! Good luck!

I had 2 c-sections, the 2nd being the better time around. Definately speak to your OB about the way you feel, silly or not. Also as you're preparing to get ready for the section speak to the anestesia dept about your fears. Let them know your anxieties, i'm sure they can help you. My anxiety level was so high during my 1st one it caused me issues i wished hadnt happened. I don't know where your thoughts/dreams are coming from, could just be nerves/horomones. Don't let your imagination run away with you. When i was pregnant with my youngest i had an awful feeling that there was something wrong with her. She was fine at birth and was healthy, but i still couldnt help feeling there was still something. At 18 months she developed seizures. She is now 5 & has been seizure free almost 2 yrs.
As far as the H1N1 goes, i don't think anyone knows what to expect or if they should get the vaccine. Did you get the regular flu shot? What about the H1N1 shot? There is an untreated version of it for pregnant woman. Has your OB mentioned it to you?
Good luck to you! =]

Hi N., don't beat yourself up about those feelings. I am sure it is the hormones and the media with their hype about the H1N1 virus isn't helping anything. I am only 29 weeks pregnant but the past two weeks I have been very scared about the flu and wasn't able to think straight at all. Try to seek help though. Speak to your doctor or do you have a doula? Get support and reassurance through your providers and family. Have you tried yoga or some breathing techniques? That can help with anxiety as it is a physical exercise to break out of the circle. I have an essential oil mixture with lavender (safe in pregnancy) which really helps me to quiet my mind. I don't think your fears are unfounded. It is a weird time to be a relaxed pregnant Mom when you hear all these scare news day in day out! It takes up energy to remain positive and calm - some days it works and some days it's harder. All the best for you!!

hi,
you should definitely talk to your DOC, sounds like you have depression and major anxiety problems which is probably hormonal. You need to get this taken care of because it could become post partum depression or worse, Post Partum Psychosis!

Hi N.,
Don't feel silly about your concerns hormones and pregnancy can bring a lot of emotions out. I just had my 2nd baby boy on October 26th 2009. I have also have a 16th month old and am very concerned about swine flu. I also was in the same boat as you an had a repeat c-section because my first was an emergency. I felt so bad doing it again but he ended up being breech so I guess I was better with it. I could not get the vacination because it was not available until now and it is still a concern with our little one. We have decided that since my husband works in the healthcare field he would get it. I have ashma so I will probably get it and maybe my youngest if my husband thinks it's best. That way we can protect our little one. We are also not going to take him anywhere for the first 2 months and see where swine flu is at that point. I was also very concerned about the c-section and having my hands full when we get home. No doubt it is a challenge but try not to listen to any negative comments and believe me people have them. You will deal with it and be a wonderful parent. Also regarding the c-section try to talk with your doctor before you go in about your concerns also let the nurses know what is going on if it is a good hospital they will work with you and make you feel more comfortable and I don't mean drugs unless you need it. Also try to talk to the anesthesiologist ahead of time and try to talk to your doctor about getting you an experienced one. Sorry a lot of info and I hope I am of some help. Best of luck and you will do fine. Let me know how everything goes.
E. K

Hi,
Try not to worry, I know it's hard not to. First of all stop watching the news for now. Since most of the news is bad it only put's bad thoughts in your head.
I had 3 C sections with 2 being planned. All were a breeze. Regarding the swine flu, the media has made it crazy. I watched a special on it. Only 1% of flu cases is swine flu. Just be aware and take all the precautions.
Good luck!
J.

When I was pregnant with my third all I could think of was that I was going to die on the operating table. I'm guessing it is a normal fear esp. since a c-section is an operation. But I never reached out to anyone and I am sorry that I didn't. But everything went as planned but I wish I would have gotten things in order................just in case. Not only did I fear dying but I have a rare blood type and was worried about that. But that baby is now 18 and that day is just a memory. Keep talking and reaching out for help in understanding your fears and even mention them to the doctors when you go in and let them help you as well. But I am sure that everything is going to be just fine!!
Good luck

Go for the VBAC for sure. The risk of uterine rupture is not much higher than a woman who has never had a c-section. I think they use that as a scare tactic. VBAC's can be such an empowering and healing experience.

As for the fear. I experienced this when my son was born. It was overwhelming. Something though that helped me have no fear during pregnancy was hypnobabies. They had an affirmations cd I would listen to every day and it made the pregnancy bliss. I know you are soon to have this baby, but if you could get a hold of the affirmations cd it was AWESOME. It is geared to natural birth though.

Good luck!

I do think it could be hormones, and certainly the ridiculous media hype about the dangers of H1N1 to pregnant women doesn't help either. The very LAST people who should be receiving ANY flu shot, seasonal or H1N1, are pregnant women! Sadly, I know this from personal experience. I was given a regular seasonal flu shot (against my wishes) while 7 months pregnant. Up until that day I had a textbook perfect pregnancy. Within 24 hours after that flu shot (which just like these current shots, contains mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde and countless other toxins) by baby went into fetal distress and shut down metabolically. She never grew another ounce and I had to be induced 3 weeks early. She was born blue and 4 pounds, with not an ounce of body fat. She had been deprived of oxygen in the womb due to damage caused by that flu shot, and she is brain damaged and severely autistic. My doctor told me he will NEVER give another flu shot to any of his patients. The best thing you can do is make sure you eat well and rest, follow common sense hygiene practices, and get lots of vitamin D3, which the media will never tell you is deficient in most people, especially pregnant women. People who get really sick from the flu, are hospitalized or die, are always severely vitamin D deficient. ALWAYS. It's safe, cheap and easy...take 5000 IU vitamin D3 twice a day. Then you won't have to fear the flu. Don't let the media hype scare you. It's all about selling useless and dangerous vaccines.

As a mom who has underwent three c-sections, I can understand your concern. Although, c-sections are common and routine nowadays, they still serve as
a source of worry and anxiety.

Personally, I think considering a VBAC now this late into your pregnancy will prove
to have its challenges. You've gone 36 weeks with the mindset
of a repeat c-section and to abruptly change that to a VBAC may be
difficult. Set aside from mental preparedness, physically you want
to be ready. Are you in the physical condition to have a
vaginal delivery? Health-wise, can your body handle it? As for me, I could not imagine a VBAC with my second daughter at 36 weeks having being mentally prepared for a c-section, I wasn't in my best physical condition to consider it or carry it out.

As far as your anxiety about death from the surgery or H1N1, I can understand to an extent. But some of it seems a little extreme. It definitely sounds like
something you should talk to your doctor about. The added stress is not good
for your pregnancy. It's affecting your sleep, dreams, and thoughtlife. I think it's consuming too much of your time and needs to be addressed by your ob/gyn.

I wish you a safe and healthy delivery, however you choose
to have your baby.

N.,
Please check out ICAN's website (Int'l Cesarean Awareness Network) http://ican-online.org for GREAT information on repeat cesareans and VBAC. There are risks with both a repeat c/s and VBAC, but after REALLY doing my research I've found that VBACs are actually safer in most cases (especially after just one c-section). Everyone is going to have a different story and experience. I've met several women who's 2nd c/s experience was far better (similar to many women who've posted on here), but I've also met many women who's 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) cesarean was worse and had more complications than the 1st. Each c-section creates more risk, so really look at the facts and decide what will be best for you. Do you want more children? If you had a c/s this time, would you still consider doing a VBAC after 2 c-sections? Think about these and other questions.
It's not too late to have a VBAC, but you'd need to prepare the best you can, since you've gone this far into the pregnancy thinking you'd have a repeat c/s. It's a lot about mindset. I'm happy to discuss any of this with you further, if you'd like. Just send me a message.

As far as the fear of dying, I had a fear of my 2nd child dying in the last month in utero, mainly her being stillborn. It was an unfounded fear and I was unsure why I felt that way. Everything turned out better than I could have imagined, so now I look back and think it must have been the hormones and life-changing events that got me weirded out. I feel for you there, even though I wasn't actually scared for my own life, but the life of my child.

If you're eating right, practicing healthy habits to keep the virus from incubating (washing hands, gargling salt water, nasal cleanses, drinking warm liquids), getting sunshine (vit D), and moving your body, chances are you'll be perfectly healthy and not get the sickness even with being around people. And even if you do, there are plenty of natural things you can do to shorten the flu and get over it quickly before baby comes.

Positive thoughts, affirmations, meditation, massage, talking to supportive family and friends all should help you feel at peace and hopeful about these situations. Take care of yourself. I wish you all the best!

~N.

Oh honey take a DEEP breath. Things are going to be just fine... skip the vaccine because it very well can give you the illness... make sure you are taking a GOOD pre-natal, getting rest, eating right (no sugar) and you will be fine. As far as the C-section goes.. you conquered it once before and you WILL again this time if you need to have one. We women are designed to have babies and our bodies were created to be amazing...

That song is really about leaving troubled times behind and giving into life and living. I believe in this period of her life Sarah had come through a break-up (with a band mate) and writer's block...something like that. The whole album is really about dealing with tough things. You are worried about being a mother of two. for my last month before my fourth child I had nightmares about a giant spider coming down on my face and be engulfed in a tidal wave. Are you worried about whether you can handle it? is your husband helpful? Yes it's natural to worry about things like this, if you have a belief system you're going to have to trust that whatever the outcome, which is tremendously in your favor, things will workout. Plus reason these fears through to the end. Don't stop at the fearful place. Really, what are the statistics? Be rational and reassure yourself. It's hormones. You'll be fine.