3.5 Year Old Giving up Nap? Has Yours?

My daughter never liked to nap either, even as an infant but as she got older I really had a hard time getting her to nap. I would tell her she had to lay down and rest for a while but she didn't have to go to sleep and boy she did not go to sleep but she did lay down. My son on the other hand had no problem taking a nap. When he was a preschooler he would just sneek off and when I went to his room I would find that he climbed in his crib via his sister's toddler bed and took a nap all without me telling him to. Kids are very different.

HI E., you did get some good advice. I just wanted to say that my Son was the same age when he decided he was done with naps as well! That was a shocker! We do "quiet time" as well every afternoon for an hour to 1 1/2 hours. He can read, do puzzles or play quietly but has to rest. No running around the house, talking or tv. It is really good for him and even though he is turning 5 next week, he still needs that down time.....and so do I!LOL! I hope you find a good system for you and your daughter. Blessings, J.

Dear E.,

Hi. I wanted to offer some suggestions. First of all, each child is different. My little girl hasn't napped since she was about 4. My youngest, a 7 year old, sometimes gets tired without a nap. What I've been doing for the past 4 years is giving them "rest time". That means they have an hour to an hour and a half where its "quiet time in the house". They have to stay in their room but they can read or sleep or write a letter, anything that is quiet and can be done on their bed in their room. That way anyone who wants to sleep will not be distracted (like Mom or baby sibling)and if the child isn't acting tired they don't have to sleep.

My kids' counselor suggested I do this. They don't necessarily like it but they know its just part of our schedule and they've come to accept it as that.

Now my kids are 7, 8 and 9. And on Saturdays or in the summer we still have rest time every day. At the very least it gives them quiet time and gives Mom alone time. I've noticed I'm much more patient with them if I get this time each day.

Hope this helps.

A. S.

my daughter has sadly given up her naps...she has always slept well & still sleeps at night so i just make her have quiet time, where she can draw/color, or read or watch a show. (her new favorite is p.b.s. super why! about super readers, it's educational so i dont mind)as long as she gets at least an hour of quiet time she is usually fine (no meltdowns late in the day)

Hi E.!
My son did the same thing at her age. I allowed my son to give up his naps because I realized that he was happy all day without one, and he would sleep 12 hours straight at night. Since I knew that he was getting the recommended amount of sleep and he was happy I just looked on the bright side of it. The alone time with her is great for the both of you and don't feel like you need to put in a video. Children that learn to do things on their own and entertain themselves with creative and imaginative play really benefit from it. Sometimes I would feel guilty telling my son to find something fun to do while I cleaned or paid bills but, I would just force myself because I knew that it was a good thing for him. Because I did this he now at the age of 4 1/2 doesn't need to be constantly entertained and he doesn't have a desire to be in front of the tv all day. He has learned that coloring and playing with his toys are a lot more fun. And now he loves to play with his baby brother who's 9 months. To help fill my day and to make sure that my children receive interaction with other children I joined a playgroup and it is so much fun! I enjoy the adult conversation and my kids truly benefit from learning how to play with other kids while I supervise. I would look into a local playgroup in your area by searching online. Good luck and enjoy your little ones!

I feel for you! It happened to me. Include her in your everyday things such as cooking etc... How about incoorporating a rest time? When my daughter stopped taking naps, I started a "rest time" in her room. She would lay down in her bed with books and or puzzles. Anything better than TV.

Yes, it is a sad day when the naps go away.

My daughter was in this napping "limbo" for a while. If she didn't nap, the dinner hour would be TORTURE, and if we sent her away from the table for her misbehavior, we'd almost certainly find her crashed out, sound asleep on the first piece of furniture she could lay her head on.

Your first response should be to maintain the "break" or "rest" time. How long she stays in her room depends on what you want that time to look like. When this first began, my daughter had to stay in her room the whole 2 hours. Then I started letting her get out about 30 min before her brother woke up for "mommy time." However, that didn't always work out because if brother woke up early, she didn't get that mommy time.
Right now, I send her to her room to play quetly while I put the 2 yr old down for his nap (which includes 15 min or so of "mommy time"). Once he's settled, I let her get up for a little "mommy time" where we chat about the day, do her homework (she's in preschool 3 days a week), or play a board game for about 30 min. Then she goes back to her room for about an hour to play by herself. Sometimes she'll even still fall asleep, but I make sure I wake her up when the hour is up.

I have a container of toys and craft things that isn't out much, so that's usually what I use to let her entertain herself while she's in her room. Stringing beads is a favorite, dry erase boards with washable dry-erase markers are good fun too, coloring, playing with her doll house, etc.

You definitely want to keep that time sacred!

Hey, E..

My daughter is 5 now, but when she was 3 she stopped napping. She would just stand up in her crib and cry for an hour. After attempting this several more times with the same outcome, our pediatrician told me it wasn't worth the anxiety of both child and parent to force a nap. As long as she's getting 12 hours of sleep at night and not getting tired during the day don't stress out over it. And so I didn't. Everything turned out just fine. She's a good night sleeper and always has been.

Good luck.

My 3.5 year old is trying to give up her nap, too. I started lying down with her to assure she wouldn't be up playing - I've never slept w/ my kids but I was desperate for a little me time. However, when I do lie down with her I end up getting sleepy so I don't seem to get anything done anyway once she's asleep.

I agree with the other moms to let them have quiet time and I that's what I've decided on for my daughter. I'm kind of doing a homeschooling preschool with both my girls. I use the time when my youngest daughter is sleeping to work with my 3.5 year old on her writing skills. Also - the Super Y thing is so awesome to the mom who mentioned it. I'm not a big t.v. mom, but that show is really awesome & has gotten my daughter so excited about reading & writing!

It stinks when they give up their nap, but I guess it's part of them growing up..... okay, now I'm sad! They grow-up way too fast!

Oh E. I could have written your post! I have a 3 year old son too and he has always been a great sleeper for naps and at night. Well we FINALLY took away the paci and that pretty much nixed naptime all together. I make him have quiet time in his room and hope and pray that he'll sleep so I can get some work done.

He's sitting on the couch reading right now, but I'm sure that is short lived. I refuse to turn the TV on until 3:00 because I like the quiet and honestly he needs it too. He understands that Mommy has to get some work done and then we'll snuggle on the couch together and read.

I also have a 6 month old daughter who naps for 2 hours in the afternoon so when they both napped at the same time it was heaven!

I wish I had an answer for you, but just know you're not alone! :) I just remind myself that I could be stuck at work behind a desk and that seems to help a little. :)