So my daughter has been potty trained since just after she turned 3. We have never had an issue going poop in the toilet. For 5 months, we had few accidents. Now she has started wetting her underwear sometimes up to 4 times a day, but only at home (she is with grandmas 3 days a week). We will ask her and ask her if she needs to go, we will put her on the toilet where she refuses to go. Then 5 minutes later she will be completely wet. We've tried rewarding and taking away things. We just don't understand. On top of that, pretty much since starting going on the toilet, she has a smell from her vaginal area. Our pediatrician has checked her out, done the urine culture, and we even had to go through the "could anyone have touched her down there" questions (that is a terrible series of questions). All checked out fine. She will occasionally be red down there, but never says that it hurts or burns. Any thoughts? Also, she is TERRIFIED of the auto-flushing toilets. If she doesn't see a handle on the toilet, she freaks out and makes these terrible sounds and looks so very scared. This cuts down on many places she can go to the bathroom. She has an amazing bladder, but running errands gets tough when we have to be home to go or check out every bathroom to see if it flushes on its own. Any help would be much appreciated
My 2 1/2 year old was terrified of the auto pottys so i started to place my hand in front of the eye, so it would not flush on her, now she is not afraid of it. Her problem was it flushing while she was still sitting, now problem solved, you can also squat in front of her as she is going so that the eye is catching you. It helped us.
Mother of 3 and 1 on the way
J.
My guess on the smell is simply her hanging out in peed in panties. As soon as you notice that she has wet her pants, strip her pants and undies off and either wash her up with a baby wipe or a soapy washcloth. That should help with the smell. Wish I could help you with the wetting part of it as well, but my kids were never afraid of the toilets...I guess boys are hard wired for all sorts of cool noises and stuff.
Good luck
Maybe try using flushable wipes when she goes to the bathroom to help her get really clean--that might help with the smell.
As far the auto toilets, they scare a lot of kids...we have a portable potty, called the "potette", that folds up when not in use, and uses bags with an absorbent liner. We take it with us everywhere (we leave it in the car). When my daughter was first training, we used it a lot, in case she needed to go when we were in transit (we would pull over and she would sit in the back of the car). She got to the point where she didn't want to use public toilets at all, she would just use the travel potty. Which was fine by me! I would let her go when we were parked in the parking lot of Target or where ever.We have a Subaru wagon, so there is a back part available for this..if you have a sudan, you might need to set the potty up outside, which is much less convenient...
The accidents may be for attention??? I am not sure on that one...maybe talk to a child psychologist?? Wish I had suggestions on that...
My daughter is now 5, but when she was about 3, we had the same issues, it's almost like she went backwards with the potty training. We even went backwards and used pull-ups in the day and at night. My advice would be to not make a big deal of toilet time. The harder you push, the more attention it gets her and the more likely she will continue the behavior. My daughter also had a smell from her vaginal area, almost like a uti or yeast infection, we too had the doctor check it out. Nothing. I learned that frequent warm baths (without soap) help clear up the redness. It's just from not know how to wipe properly. Finally, with the auto flushing toilets, my daughter is still scared of them. I think it is the loud and unexpected noise from them. I learned that if she could hold her hands over her ears, that she does better. I hope this helps. I just know it's difficult, but hang in there, it will get better!
Can't help with the wetting problem, but my daughter was also terrified of the auto toilets...you need to make it fun. Go at a time when she doesn't need to potty, and get on it yourself several times just to show her you are not afraid. Tell her it's "magic", or use the fact that she is a girl, and tell her its is a special toilet fairy or it is for princesses...something like that. the magic worked great for my daughter. she checks every toilet when we go in public and informs everyone in the restroom whether or not they have magic pottys.
I'm not sure about all the issues, but I did read somewhere to keep a pad of sticky notes in your purse wherever you go. That way when you get to one of those auto flushing toilets, just put the sticky note over the sensor and it won't work. Never tried it myself, but it seemed like a great idea. Hope it helps.
auto flush: I spit on my finger, wet a spot on piece of TP and stick it over the sensor. My little girl has no more problems. It works great. Remove to flush when she's out. Public potties are loud, and I understand.
Is she just too busy to pee? If she wets herself, take that which she was doing at the time away from her. Remind her that if she goes on the potty, the toy/movie/food will be there when she returns, but if she doesn't go to the potty, whatever made her too busy will be taken away. It worked like a charm on my kids.
She's red because of the wet pants. It's a diaper rash. You can use that to convince her to use the toilet, too. I'm sure she doesn't like the hurt down there. My little girl had the same problem, and so did my boy, for that matter. If they have an accident, it causes a rash.
It is pretty normal for a child to have some regression at some point after being potty trained. My son just went through the same thing. We did all the same things, reward, taking things away, etc, nothing worked. Finally he just stopped. I have no idea what made him start going in his pants again, or why he stopped. So hopefully it is just a phase for her.
As far as the smell issue, I have no idea. I know my oldest daughter gets red, but doesn't say it hurts or burns either. We have never had an issue with smell though.
Carry along a pad of post-its when you are out and about. Put one over the sensor of the auto-flush toilet then show your daughter how it won't go off by itself. My oldest has been terrified of those toilets too. The post-its really help.
We use a portable potty for times when we are out on errands or on a road trip. There's a nice folding one that uses small trash bags that you just toss when she's done. My daughter was afraid of all big toilets, public restrooms (because of the noise level), and especially auto flushing toilets. This has worked very well for us and even has a nice carry case so you can take it with you discreetly. I had to purchase one online because I couldn't find one locally, but it was well worth it. Here's a link to the one we have - it's a Fisher Price Potty On-The-Go - and you can read reviews as well. http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-L1496-Potty-On-the-Go/...
Auto-flushing toilet phobia - This may sound odd, but I know an adult who also has issues with the auto-flush. She carries around the little post-it notes, and just blocks out the sensor until she is done, then takes it off so there are no surprise flushes. Might work.
Best of luck.
Sounds like this is becoming more of a power struggle than anything else. My daughter was like that. Shes 4 now but she used the potty as a power struggle.
How do you react to her when she pees in her panties? Have there been any significant changes in your home lately?
With my daughter I had to force myself to give it up. I would get angry at her and do the whole punishment routine of taking things away and taking priveledges away but that really didnt solve anything. Then I would do the bribery/reward route and that really didnt do anything either. It was her way of getting a rise out of me and I pretty much fell into it.
What I honestly would do is just leave the issue alone and let her know that if she cant make it to the toilet, maybe she needs to wear pull-ups. Sit her down and let her know that it is not okay to pee in her panties so if she cant make it to the toilet, you'll have to take her big girl panties away and she will have to wear diapers again. I honestly would make a big deal about the panties, even buy her new ones with princesses on them (or whatever she likes), sparkly ones, whatever. And tell her that when she can start using the potty again and staying dry that she can have them. Then put her in pull-ups and leave it alone.
I finally just left the issue alone and then one day, she just decided she wanted to go all on her own. No pressure from mom. My babysitter did have alot to do with it too. She was someone my daughter really looks up to and she made it clear to her that she did not like her wearing pull-ups and that she didnt like her smelling like pee. So that was that. My daughter didnt want to hear it from me, it really took someone elses input.
But really by not stressing it anymore, I took the power away from her. She was manipulating me by peeing in her pants. I had just had a baby when all this was happening so she was losing some of my attention and using the potty as a way to get it back.
I do like the idea of keeping a potty in the car when you are out and about. We do that. I dont have the portable one. I just have a regular potty in the back of my car. I usually put a plastic shopping bag in the potty section and pad it with paper towels so if she has to go, while we are out, its easy clean up. Plus I'm not much of a public bathroom person myself. I dont blame your daughter for not wanting to use it. Most are really yucky.
Flushable wipes are excellent for making sure they clean themselves really well. We also use a squeeze bottle full of water. It helps my daughter get herself really clean while we are at home. Also make sure that her underwear is 100% cotton anything else could cause bacteria growth. Cotton is the most breathable. Also being that it is the winter time, if shes wearing alot of tights that could contribute to a smell down there. Again, not very breathable.
So I know, wordy and I tend to ramble but I hope that some of this helps. ;)
My sons don't like flushable potties either, but we deal with it.... It gets better as they get older...
My son went through a wetting phase after he was potty (pee) trained, he didn't dig on being put back in diapers, he would wet in pullups or anything else, but diapers he didn't want to be in. If she likes to be a big girl, you can have a big girl discussion with her and explain if it happens again you are going to put one of baby brothers diapers on her, my sons are two years apart and the older son didn't like the idea of wearing the same diapers as his baby brother (she probably doesn't want to be a baby anymore)... (GOOD LUCK, girls are generally a little easier to potty train, but not always)
If the wetting of pants and smell came up at the same time... I would investigate more with doctors... On the smell...(stab in the dark) have you tried different fabric for underpants...powder... or could it be a yeast infection... I know most people say that you definitely would know, but I have had them and not known it right away, same with bladder infections... If the smell doesn't resolve itself I would continue to the doctors... You and I know it isn't normal and your doctors should want to resolve the problem with you. I looked this up on nlb pubmed... I don't know if it will help or not...
The Gardnerella vaginalis syndrome is a well defined but benign condition characterized by a smelly vaginal discharge of pH greater than 5.0. It is not associated with inflammation. It often occurs in association with cervical infections. The microscopic appearance of the discharge is typical and diagnostic. The wet mount shows "clue cells" and "rafts" (floating clumps of small bacilli) and the Gram stain has the "pepper on salt" pattern of masses of small gram-variable bacilli. The amine test is an additional diagnostic aid. Cultures are useful but not necessary for diagnosis. The treatment of choice is oral metronidazole 400 mg twice daily for five days.
We are going through the flushy toilet issue with our 7 year old right now. She has no problem going to the bathroom when at home, but at school, once a week she is having accidents.
My advice, is carry around a small stack of PostIt Notes, and when out in public, give her a PostIt to "trick" the potty.
If you cover the sensor, the toilet will think you are sitting on it, and it won't flush. Then when she is done her business, go and grab the PostIt and toss it in the garbage on your way out the door.
Good luck! I know its frustrating :(
I only have a hint for the auto flushing toilets. I have read or heard somewhere that people pack a packet of Post-it notes in their purses and they put it over the sensor of the toilet so it doesn't flush until they take it off. You could make it fun for your daughter to put it on there and then get to take it off. I don't know if this works, because I have only heard other people who have done it.
Good luck!
my next door neighbor went through the same with her daughter wetting the pants. she would give anyone who went a treat so that her daughter would learn that that was the only way to go. for automatic flushers, have you tried talking to the toilet? make it a friend type thing so that your duaghter might come to terms that "john" really is an ok potty
A thought about the toilet problem....My 4 1/2 year old hates them too. I always go in with her and put my finger over the sensor so that it won't flush on her and scare her. I always wait until she is finished and has pulled her pants back up and can cover her ears. I heard some moms keep post-its in their purse/diaper bag so that they can put them over the sensor too.
Hope this helps with part of your problem! =)
I have two daughters, one is 3.5 and one is 4.5. The four year old has been pottytrained for a long time and had a relapse around 3.5. years old. We didn't make a big deal out of it and she outgrew the accidents. She also felt embarrassed about it and then would act out a little because of that. We didn't do anything threatning we just supported her through it being really empathetic about it.
Our other daughter could have cared less about being potty trained and has her good days and bad days. We just go with the flow. She finally has decided that accidents were not fun and she didn't like being wet. She wears panties now but sometimes leaks a little and then her bottom smells. We use the flushable wipes ALL the time. So their bottoms always get really wiped well and every night we wash their bottoms in the bath to make sure no peepee is hiding. Remember, they still have really sensitive skin, and they play so much and their bodies sweat in all the same places as ours so they are prone to rash. Our pediatrician recommended the bath everynight and also using a cream on their bottom to keep the pee from stickint to the skin.
Hi,
Could your daughter have a yeast infection? Sometimes that causes the smell and redness. Also, it could be a bladder infection. It makes you feel like you have to go to the bathroom all the time. If she has had antibiotics recently it could cause yeast. See if feeding her acidophilis(plain yogurt) could help. Give her a lot of water and stop all sugars until clear if that seems to be the culprit.
smell issues - my daughter has the same problem - smelly and a little red. When I wash her, the soap hurts. Otherwise she has no pain. I'm thinking that she only wipes the surface of her bottom and doesn't get in the folds, so she's getting a diaper rash and maybe infection/bacteria build up of sorts. I'm going to speak to my pediatrician about it, too, but I'm going to work on getting her to wipe better (problem is that she won't take instructions from me). Also, she tends to sit on the toilet for a while, and in our dry climate, I think the urine is drying onto her before she can wipe it off. Make sure she wipes from front to back, too. Wetting problem - change in the house that's causing her stress, or more likely, power struggle. I saw you got some good advice on that. Hard as it might be, detach yourself from the emotion. It'll spoil the fun for her. Auto-flushing - perfectly normal to be terrified of the surprise noise. Hand, sticky note, or I liked someone's idea of the toilet paper covering the eye. Using your hand can cause you to become a contortionist if you have to help her wipe or reach the TP. She'll outgrow it eventually, although I still hate when it gives me a surprise flush and I'm sitting on the toilet! :) Good luck!
