3 Yr Old with OCD?

Updated on August 26, 2010
R.B. asks from Decorah, IA
16 answers

I know this is kinda off the wall question. But my hubby and I have wondered if its possible for someone this young to have OCD for a long time now. He has been this way since around the age of 1. Our ped says its not likely this young.

But he FREAKS out if things are just right!

He has to have his banana peel down at a certian point and it cant break, if it does he wont eat it and has to have a new one. He has to get dressed in a certain order or we have to start over at completely naked. the food on his plate has to just right. We have plates that have 3 small squares and one large rectangle. The fruit, veggies, meat has to be in the same one every time. If we dont have like fruit or mashed potates what ever nothing can be in that spot on the plate or he wont eat it. His glases have to be filled just right to the level or he wont drink them. His action figure toys the arms and legs, head has to be a certain way. If they get moved or he cant get them into the right position right away it turns into a complete melt down. Its all of toys, not just certain ones.

There is more things but you get the point... he is number 4 out of 5 kids and I have never had any of them act this way or know any other kids that have to be this perfect on everything. Or will he grow out if and its just been a really long phase?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

I'll explain a little better.
The banana thing, his glass, his plate ( its can NOT be a different one), the position of his food and setting of his dishes, his toys they have to be exactly right or it turns into a major meltdown. Not just the normal kid reaction. Its a crying spell and yelling and jumping. Until its perfect in his eyes and then it just stops like a switch. He is a very independant child with structure but everything is extreme with him.

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S.G.

answers from Dallas on

They believe one of my 3 year old's little friends may have OCD. His issues are primarily with food. Many hospital systems have therapy programs that are free (at least here in Texas the Baylor hospitals do). Whether his pediatrician is willing to slap on the lable or not, occupational therapy could be very helpful. I feel strongly that if you ignore a problem in a young child and "just wait" it will only get harder on them.

When he is in school it will cause him a lot of stress when things are not "just so" for him, and they won't be. Definately take him to an occupational therapist!

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

I did not read the advice you have so far, but I am going to suggest that you stop trying to put a name on it and go to a Developmental Pediatrician and let them do that for you. OCD sounds better than what this could really be, and you need to know for sure, without a mamapedia diagnostic debate. It is a problem the interferes with how he lives his life, so go the the Developmental Pediatrician, found at children's hospitals, and get a full developmental evlauation so that you can say exactly what this is, or isnt, and exactly what you need to do to help him, or you can sit back and know that it is fine to wait it out. Don't risk the chance that it is something that needs intervention, if you miss that time, you never get it back.

M.

7 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Some kids are like that... it does not mean they are OCD.

Both my kids... get like that sometimes, and especially when they were certain ages.

Keep in mind, that there is ALSO age-related "rigidity" in habits, that develop... but it is PER the age set of a child. I even read that in a book on child development. It is about the child doing that because it is an age stage... and a child's way or organizing the world.... and keeping it predictable etc.

Next, some kids do this because:
1) it is a coping mechanism... for other stresses in their life etc.
2) They do it because they do not, at this age, have natural ability for "coping" with things... thus, they may do things like this as a way to cope with stresses/worries etc. that they have.
3) They do not have any other way to express themselves, so it gets displaced onto other things.... hence, even a banana
4) They at this age and younger.... do go through a stage of being detail oriented and "organizing" things in order and "sequencing." Both my kids did that too. ie: putting alike toys all in a row and by size and color, for example. But its normal.

He is very young....
how is his OVERALL development and communication skills and ability to express himself? Maybe he is the type that is not as able with those things? But you can work with him on it.... boys, need to learn how to express themselves... it is very important.

Anyway, I think he is young to definitively be called "OCD."
My kids are not... and they have done some of the things you described, about your son. My kids are normal kids and VERY expressive. So well its a loud house sometimes! LOL

The thing is... I would maybe teach your son, or guide him, on 'coping skills.' So that he can understand that there are MORE than 1 way of doing things... sometimes. Also, some kids cling to doing things a certain way... because it is comforting.

See if you can talk to him about it too.
I used to ask my kids, with a nice voice, "Why does it have to be that way?" And well, they would give kid like answers.... which to them sound legitimate. But to me, made no sense. Kids.

My kids per their ages now, are not really like that anymore. It was a phase.

Or, get him assessed... an OVERALL developmental assessment.
Maybe he is borderline something... who knows.
But at the same time, 3 year old kids get like that. Mine did. They are moody and tantrum. They cannot 'control' their world or what they want or don't want and they do NOT have the "skills" to completely have ability to navigate their world.
But you said your son is like a "switch." He seems to have a hard time dealing with things.

Your child seems VERY structure oriented and cannot 'cope' perhaps, with anything else. He "NEEDS" patterns and routines and sequencing... or it irks him.
I would try and teach him or help him to learn... about other rhythms to life... to situations. Maybe once he is not 3 and older, he will become more pliant...

All the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Sometimes Aspbergers can look like OCD. Sometimes 3 yr olds are just stubborn! My little guy obsesses about certain things. I think they are trying to gain independence by "controling" thier surroundings. It may be calming to him to feel like he can direct the order of some things around him. It sounds exhausting for you! But hopefully it's just a stage and he'll outgrow it.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

I think everyone is right that it is probably just a phase but as another mom suggested you might want to read up on Asperger's to see if your son exhibits any of the other symptoms. My son was much like you described at that age but we didn't recognize it as being a problem we just thought it was his personality. As he got older we saw more of the social issues and motor skill problems and then had him diagnosed with Aspergers.

Good luck,
K.

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D.C.

answers from Syracuse on

I know what you mean, I have a two year old that does the same things. It is highly unlikely he has OCD at this age. Many toddlers learn using order and since they only can understand so much, they have a hard time breaking away from patern and repetition as it is comfortable to their level of understanding.

Usually children with OCD have other developmental problems too, so unless your son falls in that catagory, I wouldn't worry too much.

Try giving him choices like, "Do you want your food on your Iron Man plate or on a plate like Daddy's. or "Do you want to wear your Elmo pajamas or Thomas pajamas"

Also, if you don't normally let him do things himself, let him try. When he struggles, tell him that he can ask for help. This seems very empowering, but if things don't work out, then ask if he wants help. He will let you know.

Good Luck, patience is a virtue, at least that's what I keep telling myself...

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H.V.

answers from Cleveland on

Maybe its not something like OCD.

Question do his older siblings mess with his things?
I only ask because I'm #4 of 5 kids and I used to get SOOOO mad about my siblings messing with my stuff.
I used to have my toys, stuffed animals etc all in certain places and that's HOW it had to be. I used to throw fits over wearing socks :) I think every kid has their quirks. Yea your lil guys is a bit more particular than I was, but maybe it's just his personality.

My son, *who is 2* is kinda the same way. No food touching, if there is something hanging off his food he won't eat it, I.e the skin of a grape. Has to have his stuffed animals in the SAME spot every night in his bed. etc
I chalk it up to personality & developing new concepts.

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

It definitely sounds like something is off. I don't think it's a phase. My daughter has Asperger's, and she was very much that way. If she dropped half a grape, she would tantrum. I'd get her a new grape, cut it in half and give her the two pieces and tell her she got a bonus. She would refuse the second half and tantrum until I took it away. This behavior is called rigidity and it can be be fairly common with kids with high-functioning autism or Asperger's. Is this what's happening with your son? Who knows, but it's definitely something that you should check out.

C.
www.littlebitquirky.blogspot.com

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A.H.

answers from New York on

don't let him do this... he is becoming ocd... get a new dish for him.. things like that.. get hiim used to change.. good luck

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R.A.

answers from Phoenix on

My opinion... Yes I think a 3yr can have OCD.. When I was younger then 1yr. My parents would sit me in the sand box and I would scream and cry with my hands and feet up. I am now 28yr and you will NEVER EVER find my barefoot outside or anywhere around sand, That is like nails on a chalk board for me and I have found that my 2 boys (age 4 and 8) are the same way where my daughter 10yr is not. OCD can be very frustrating if noone seeems to understand.My family thinks it is funny to try to touch me with their feet not knowing how much anxiety it causes for me. I have been getting advice from my Ped. on how to make sure my boys don't continue.. Good Luck..

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Can 3-year-olds have OCD? I think so. Does YOUR child have OCD? I don't know - maybe. Sometimes I've wondered about my 3-year-old daughter because she does get particular about certain things but I wonder how much of it is normal that this age (trying to be in control, mastering skills and environment, imitating mom and dad) and how much is her personality (she tends to be pretty methodical in general - maybe she'll grow up to be an engineer like my dad and my brother). Just as an example:

I wipe up spills and messes as soon as they happen so she now brings them to my attention and wants to wipe them up too.

Naptime and bedtime routine of brushing teeth, stories, cuddles, tucking in, songs on the CD player and the vaporizer on (there's nothing in, I think she just likes the "white noise". When she gets up, she shuts off the vaporizer and CD player herself.

She wants to do things herself like turn lights on and off and if you do it, you have to let her go back and then do it again herself all over. She generally does not freak out over it.

She has a bunch of tubby toys and at bath time, she likes lining up all the ducks.

So I think a lot of this is pretty typical for a child her age. The big question is if what they are doing and their behavior is interfering with them having a normal life - like some kids may be ADHD, or they may not be, but maybe it comes down to if it is getting in the way of school, social interactions, etc. and making life in general more difficult. I would agree that it would probably be best to talk to your pediatrician, then ask about a referral to a specialist.

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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Concur with Martha R. An evaluation from a developmental pediatrician can either help find a diagnosis for your son and help get early intervention if needed, or can help put your mind at ease.
Best of luck -

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

I tend to think it's more about a child wanting CONSISTENCY in their every day routines.. and hence, it comes out as OCD.. that isn't to say, perhaps there isn't an issue here.. but for now, I am thinking there is not.. However, I am not a doctor and therefore cannot say for sure. I can , however share my experience. My 8 year old son also likes "order" for example, the fringe at the end of the rug needs to be lined up and straight, chairs and drawers need to be pushed in. his hair needs to be fixed.. In a way, I also think this is all LEARNED behavior... kids tend to pick up our habits and even if they don't copy them 100% that isn't to say they didn't watch us and now are interpreting our behavior in THEIR own way.... We tend to keep a really clean house as does my son's grandmother... at his grandmother's house, she ALWAYS puts everything away when she is done with it.. while my son doesn't always do that himself :) he does however like order in certain areas... as noted above..
perhaps if you are really concerned, check out a therapist and have your child evaluated. One Pediatrician did tell me a long time ago that when kids are growing they can develop TICKS... little nervous habits.. and could be your son may have some anxiety behind why he does what he does..
again, no doctor here.. but it's worth checking into if you are really nervous about it.
best of luck

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

Three year olds can definitely have OCD. Ours did. However, being particular isn't exactly the same as OCD. In our son's case, the world would come to an end if things weren't just so. If we opened up the garage door instead of letting him do it, we'd have to close the door and let him re-do it or he'd go into a major meltdown -- screaming, crying for a good 30 minutes. It was severe enough we couldn't go places when he'd have these inconsolable meltdowns.

If you're seeing the major meltdowns, which you do suggest, it's time to get him evaluated. A pediatrician can't do this, so ask for a referral to a child psychiatrist. Ours knew right away it was OCD (my husband has it, so the gene got passed down and we weren't shocked at the diagnosis). Our son went on an anti-anxiety med that basically put the OCD in remission. Greatly beneficial.

Best of luck as you begin the process ...

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J.N.

answers from San Francisco on

YouTou need to go over a pediatrician head and go directly to a doctor who is specialized in diagnosing behavior disorders. They will have alot more suggestions on how to control his behaviors. But as far as food being broken, my 2 1/2 yo son is the same way!

M.L.

answers from Houston on

My child is like that, especially with the banana thing. A lot of children this age just needs tons of structure and consistency and are very particular about certain things. It will pass.

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