3 Yr Old with Imaginary Friends

Updated on May 09, 2009
K.S. asks from Kansas City, MO
34 answers

Hi Moms, My very fun & creative 3 year old daughter has a lot of pretend friends. I know I’ve heard of people having imaginary friends, but I never had any as a kid. So I have to wonder is this normal? She talks to them all the time (“on the phone”), plays with them, yells at them, sometimes carries them. What is normal and at what point should I start to worry?

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Perfectly normal and healthy!

As the another mom stated, the only time you need to worry if her "friend" is telling her to do bad things. Which would need to be addressed.

It's fine to play into her imagination and go along with it.

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M.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Totally normal! My daughter is now 4 and has had hers for a long time. I was worried too, she used to say that they were at the front door and needed to let them in. I asked her doctor and he said that studies show that kids who have imaginary friends are usually very intelligent and smart kids and do well on SAT/ACT test. So, I always keep that in mind when my daughter's "friends" are around :0)

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D.R.

answers from St. Louis on

I had a imaginary fish I used to carry around and play in the water with. My mom and I forgot what I called. It but one day I was playing in the sink with him and mom had to wash something and let the water out and I cried and screamed for a few days until I made up another one. My sisters was the man who came for supper (my dad was military and he came home for a couple of weeks then went back (veitnam)) he was the man who came to dinner. I learned it is healthy to have imaniary friends.

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M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Totally normal. My daughter runs around the house with them! lol

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D.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I think it's normal and shows how creative a child's mind is. My oldest daughter had a friend, Barney. He rode a motorcycle when we were driving in the car. She would tell me where he was so I wouldn't hit him. My niece, who is 4, has numerous ones and she will play all day with them, going to Disneyland, plane rides, and going swimming.

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S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I had tons of imaginery friends when I was little, and I think I turned out ok. I had 5 that I still remember to this day (probably because everyone talks about it), like they were real friends. The neighborhood we lived in didn't really have a lot of kids my age, so I think I made them up to have someone to play with. I think it's great, and wish my daughter would get an imaginary friend!

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

K., i'll echo what everyone else is saying - totally normal. and i want to add also, think how amazing it is that this little person has come SO far in just three years. think about it, a year ago she was practically a baby, and had no idea what "pretend" was. my son is 2 1/2 and i was so excited, the other day he was talking about a giant spider on top of "something" in the livingroom (never did figure out where it was supposed to be) but i finally said after looking and being unable to find it, "is it a pretend spider?" and he said yes - yay! no actual spider - and another milestone. my little baby is using his imagination. it's an awesome thing. enjoy it!

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C.A.

answers from St. Louis on

My son carried talking mice around in his pockets until he was 6 years old. They do out grow it, be glad that she is able to occupy herself with these "friends". It allows for a much more out of the box thinker when they get older.

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Good Morning K., It is very Normal to have these friends.
Corbin (4) is creative and has a great large vocabulary, since he was 2. He has T-rex (dinosaur buddies)Plus many more, they have races. He has a puppy pretend buddy, they eat their dry cheerios from bowls. Yes he even puts them in time out when they pp on Nana carpet...lol
Some folks say this is a way to curb loneliness. I don't believe that at all, Corbin is very active, busy little boy that has a awesome imagination. My Brother used to carry around invisible Frogs to share with the neighbor lady. All was well until he actually had a Huge Toad in his hands to give her.. She freaked...lol

They usually out grow it, for me it will be a sad time as we always have alot of fun feeding and playing with all his dinosaur friends. I gave him a big dinosaur book for his 4th b day. He knows them all and can say their names. I can't even get them out correctly Phenetically...lol

Don't worry K., she is just being a kid and having a blast doing it.
God Bless
K. Nana of 5
PS my brother stopped carrying imaginary frogs and went to carrying the real thing and put them in the mailbox to surprise the mailman a few times. Imagine his surprise when 4-5 Big frogs and toads Hopped out. lol I remember one time he knocked on the door and had Mom take the mail there. He wasn't going to open that Mailbox....lol After he left mom went to look sure enough it was FULL of frogs.

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A.H.

answers from St. Joseph on

I agree with what everyone's already said--it's perfectly normal and a sign of intelligence and creativity (although not *every* intelligent/creative kid will create imaginary friends, many do).

Also wanted to add that it can sometimes help with social skills as well, because they can "role-play" situations with their imaginary friend to figure out how to handle things themselves, and they can "introduce" their imaginary friend to their real friends as a way to be more comfortable joining a group ("Fred says he wants to help you with the puzzle. Is that okay?").
It also gives her someone to play with when she is going through (also normal) disagreements with her real friends. Let her imagine, and if you can play along, too, do so! :-)

HTH! Good luck!
--A.

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R.Y.

answers from Wichita on

My daughter had a whole imaginary family including a "sister" who coincidentally had the same name as her bio sister that she hadn't seen since she was an infant. They "lived" in the birdhouse. Children's minds are amazing!!!!!!
My husband is a insecure person and was greatly bothered by her play, where as this was my first child of 6 to have a "friend", I loved it!! They get busy with other things and soon forget about them, usually to be long forgotten by the time the go to school. Give your kiddo a big hug and enjoy the conversations you can listen in on.

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J.L.

answers from Springfield on

Imaginary friends are great. I had one when I was little, his name was Modger (not sure why?) and my mom said I carried him around in my hand all the time. He was tiny and got in trouble by me all the time she said, and we left him at grandma's once and had to go back and get him because I was hysterical. I think I'm relatively normal now though...lol
Two of my four kids had imaginary friends. My daughter had "Homey Hautta" (no idea where she got that?) and she talked to him and about him constantly. My son has several imaginary friends and one is a dog named Flippy that drives a motorcycle, one was a pink horse named Ella... (they are 9 and 6 now.) The 6 year old occasionally brings up "Flippy", but it's only when he gets insecure about stuff now and he goes away when he's content.
We always played with them and even went along with some of their stuff as long as it wasn't too out there. If it was crazy, like the pink horse, We'd ask if there were really pink horses? Just to help teach them reality from fantasy. As long as they don't go into middle school thinking Elle the pink horse is coming to school with them I don't imagine it's anything to worry about. I haven't seen or thought of Modger in years, so I'm guessing I got over it...lol

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M.T.

answers from St. Louis on

I love it! My 7 year old up until a couple years ago had an imaginary friend, Bucklas, who fit in his hand and went everywhere with us, would cry if we forgot him. I REALLY miss Bucklas! Enjoy every minute of it. Write it all down. I have pages and pages of things that creative, fun, imaginative kiddo said and did, much of it with Bucklas. You will forget it later and if you do, will love that you did it later and laugh about it and let her read it when she is older. Worry about it if she is still doing it when she is 10! :)

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C.M.

answers from Springfield on

hi just to let you know they say kids w/ imaginary are smart very smart

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B.C.

answers from Joplin on

K....perfectly normal, healthy and active imagination. In fact you should be proud, a well developed imagination is a sign of intelligence = )
Enjoy her ability to occupy herself = )
B.

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E.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I truly believe that our children can see the things we can't such as angels and what not. Honestly you should be really glad that she has such friends because I haven't heard of very many three year olds that are that advanced. Normaly I think its around 4 or 5 that they usually start the "imaginary" friends.

Honestly I would never worry about when to worry because slowly over time children are exposed to the bad side of the world they live in and lose a little of their innocence along the way. Of which once that starts the imaginary friend usually goes away. But I would ask her sometime to draw the friend and to write down the name. So that someday when she is older she can look at the picture and remember the good old times of childhood.

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B.R.

answers from Kansas City on

My 4 year old also loves her new imaginary friend named Eric. He is the prince of The Little Mermaid. I think she got the idea for an imaginary friend from her very good actual friend who has had one since she was three. My daughter's friend doesn't mention her imaginary friend too much any more, but she used to use it for many things. If she didn't have a toy that another child had, then the imaginary friend did. They also blamed all kinds of things on the imaginary friend. So, I would sit my daughter and the imaginary friend in time out for the act.

I guess what I am saying is that it is very very normal to have imaginary friends and you shouldn't worry about it. She won't remember her friend 10 years from now, so add it to the baby book :)

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H.S.

answers from Kansas City on

My son actually has an imaginary reindeer that goes everywhere with us. I asked his dr. about it and she said its nothing to worry about and actually really good for his creativity and imagination! She says that eventually he will just grow out of it.

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V.F.

answers from Topeka on

My daughter (who is 32 now) had just one imaginary friend named Annie. It started when she was about 2 and around age 5 or 6 she left Annie in Grandma's garage and never had her around again. She still remembers it but she cut it off herself. I don't see any harm in this.

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A.C.

answers from St. Louis on

My daughter is 3 also, and she does the same things. My daughter will walk around with her hands closed b/c she is carrying her tiny friends. Her friends get in trouble for yelling at her. I recently got this article from the baby center website.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_your-3-year-old-timeline-imag...

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W.H.

answers from Springfield on

Hi K.,

It's perfectly normal for kids to have imaginary friends. No need to worry at all, it's extremely common and she will grow out of it when it's right for her. Enjoy that she's entertaining herself, that's a great thing at this age.

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

All the responses you have gotten say what I will add. I had an imaginary friend when I was little and used to carry a pad of paper and pen around asking my mother how to spell her name, Ronshronidy. Where I got that name I don't know or even how to spell it to this day!!! Maybe I need therapy but it was fun and I remember talking to her and 'going places' with her and she is still in my memories. My girls talked to friends in corners of the room with purses on their arms and big hats on and now they are grown and that is one of the memories that are so precious. They outgrow it when the time is right. Enjoy your little girl.

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

I can only echo what all of the other Moms are saying. My youngest daughter ( who is now a 33 year old other and lawyer)...had 2 imaginary friends...I can even still remember their names..."Buuuuh" and "Guuuh"...they went to church with us, played with her, slept in her bed on their very own little pillows...we all had fun with them!!! I have always heard it said that imaginary friends are a sign of higher than average intelligence...so EMBRACE your daughters friends!!!!
R. Ann

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E.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My son did the very same thing around age three. He is 4 1/2 now and does not talk to them that much if at all. He always told us they were pretend. It was great fun.

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H.L.

answers from Wichita on

I wouldnt worry at all. when i was a kid i had imaginary friends also. it just means your daughter must be really creative and will probley do wonderful things as she gets older. It will also help her have good communication skills!. Let her have fun with it. Once shes in school or preschool she will probley drop the imaginary friends because she will meet other kids.
God bless

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S.E.

answers from Topeka on

I also have a 3 yr old daughter who likes to play pretend. she had one imaginary friend that is the size of her finger that she will carry around and talk to. plus, she's very much into having pretend conversations with the disney princesses, she has one of those play cell phones and actually i am the one who has to talk to them. she thinks a lot of fun when i join in. i think right now, they are just at an age when they are realizing that thoughts and ideas can be abstract and fun!!!! I wouldnt worry at all about her imaginary friends and it could be fun to join in, ask her about them and what they did that day!! hope this helps. :)

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S.P.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi, that's a wonderful thing. Yes, it is normal and you probably just don't remember you had any imaginary friends. I don't remember either, but that's ok, it just means she is creative and smart! Best Wishes!

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Sounds totally normal to me :) I've never actually known a child to believe in these friends. It's just make-believe and they sure do enjoy it at this age. I would worry more if they didn't make up and pretend about friends.

Suzi

D.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Oh YES! Absolutely normal. Funny, you brought back a memory of my daughter when she was 3 and her imaginary friend. My daughter was in preschool at the time going 4 days a week, very smart little girl and very creative. Well, her pretend friend went to school with her one morning and preceeded to play with her friends and bug her during coloring time. When her teacher approached me with a huge smile to tell me what had happened that day...apparently the "friend" wouldn't stop bugging her and my daughter told the teacher that she was told she couldn't come to school but did anyway and now is bothering me...I knew that my daughter had creative intelligence. Her younger sister played with the imaginary friend also. Funny how they could describe her in minute detail even though she wasn't real. Hmm makes you wonder. Now they couldn't even tell you her name, nor could I. But eventually your duaghters "friends" will no longer exist. Your daughter is fine. I'm sure she is very intelligent too. Have fun with it. Good luck and God Bless.

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D.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi, K.! Imaginary friends are nothing to worry about. Out of three girls, I was the only one who had imaginary friends. My mother was very concerned, because I did everything with them, just like your daughter. She even took me to the pediatrician to be evaluated. He said that it was a sign of intelligence and not to worry. Believe it or not, I was the honor student in the family! My oldest son and my daughter have had imaginary friends, and they eventually grew out of them. It's a phase that parents learned to play along with, and we did, too. Hang in there!

A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Hello K.!

Yes, perfectly normal..and healthy too! That is a phase and will pass. It last more with some children than others, but it is very normal.
I had two imaginary friends at different times , at 3 and half years old (one was "Rebecca" and the other one was "Willy") both very friendly and played with me all the time!
My older kid had twins imaginary friends, it did not last too much but I think all of us enjoyed them!!! It is funny. Just keep it normal, and talk with those little friends...they will be gone soon,pretend you see them..it is funny, but your little daughter will enjoy to have her mom sharing moments with her friends! Just one thing, only make sure that her friend does not ask her to do unsafe or dangerous things. Remember that imagination is infinite!
Alejandra

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K.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Yes, my daughter had one as well, his name was Andy. I really enjoyed her creativity and some of the things she did and said about Andy were hilarious. She even insisted I buy him a Happy Meal a couple of times. It was all good fun and my daughter is happy and healthy and quite creative and a fantastic actress. So, enjoy it and be sure to write down some of the cute stuff she says, you'll want to remember it.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Unless the imaginary friends start telling your child to do things that you don't approve of, don't worry. Some kids have very vivid imaginations. Nurture it. Maybe someday she'll be a successful writer and set the world on fire (in a good way)!

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S.P.

answers from Lawrence on

It is very normal for children to play with imaginary friends! I have cared for many of children (child care) who make believe with all sorts of stories. Some out grow it sooner than others. My own 4 yr old right now has big elabrate stories and we have to bring her down to reality a couple of times, but for the most part we play along and ask questions. I believe this is a great growing process they learn from. I know from movies and such it doesn't always look so good, but remember for the most part they are innocent children making plans of there own.
Have FUN!!!

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