3 Yr Old Masturbating?

Updated on March 22, 2010
M.G. asks from Portland, OR
11 answers

My daughter was rubbing herself down there with a toy. I asked her if there was any pain or itching and she said no, she just likes it, then she asked me to leave the room. Is there anything I should be doing or talking to her about?

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So What Happened?

Thank you. Yes, I agree it's not a sexual thing so masturbation is not a correct term. Thank you for your kind replies. I do believe it's normal and natural and we should keep the communication between us open.

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S.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I have also read that its not sexual and you should not make a big deal out of it. Just talk to her and at least she is asking for privacy

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M.C.

answers from Nashville on

Oh my! LOL Well, at least she told you the truth and then politely asked you for some privacy! =0) Sounds like she's a couple steps ahead of you mom!! Because the talk would consist of how you know it feels good, but it's something that should be done in private. In my opinion she is right on track development wise. They obviously do not associate pleasuring themselves with anything sexual at all.....they just do it because it feels good. I would just reinforce her obvious preference to do that in private and not worry. It's perfectly natural.

3 moms found this helpful
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N.A.

answers from Harrisburg on

My 5 year old niece has been doing this since she was 3. Apparently it is normal and it is a self soothing thing for her. ...and this was from her doctor. She's just encouraged not to do it out in public or in front of other people.

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

good for you for you calm and sensible response, and good for her for her honest answer and request for privacy! you've had a lot of good responses here, i just wanted to chime and give you a high-five for being a thoughtful mom. and your daughter's response is a great indication of the atmosphere of respect in which she's being raised.
:) khairete
S.

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J.I.

answers from Kokomo on

totally normal behavior. I would suggest that mom tell her its ok to do that in her room or bathroom, some private place, but let her know it is ok to feel pleasure down there and she can touch herself as often as she wants to in private

1 mom found this helpful
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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't have daughters, but I can tell you from my own experience. I started m*********** when I was 4 years old, and yes, I even had orgasams. But, it wasn't sexual at all because I didn't even know what sex was! I just realized that if I rubbed myself down there for a while I could reach this very nice feeling. And honeslty it felt so nice to me that I would masturbate any opportunity I had. I was cought by my mom a few times and her reaction to this was not good. She once even said that she would "cut my fingers off if she cought me again:! But, I didn't stop. It was my "dark" secret that I was ashamed of but could not give up. So, I may be an exception, but I turned out ok and didn't have any abnormal or strong sexual desires once in my teens or anything like that. Actually the opposite, I wasn't sexually interested in boys until I was in my late teens. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

both my daughters did the same thing. they would lay on top of teddy bears, push themselves on stair railings etc. my doc says it is normal. but i would ask what the aproppriate way to handle it is.

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S.W.

answers from Washington DC on

It's 100% normal. My son use to "wiggle" when he was that age. It lasted about a year. I talked to my Pediatrician and she assured me it was okay but to let him know it was only appropriate to do in private.

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M.E.

answers from Grand Junction on

Wow! First of all has she been exposed to seeing anything like that? Yes you should talk to her about special and p****** p****. My nephew saw my brother and his wife on several occasions and they thought he was too little to understand. Boy were they mistaken. Dont make too big a deal when you talk to her because she might pick up on it and then start hiding it from you or worse hiding and peeking. So many children have been abused and the parents never know. Think about where she has been and around who? What she might have seen or heard to get her curious. Dont freak out but dont take this situation lightly.

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A.M.

answers from Norfolk on

You need to talk to your daughter and ask if anyony touched her or you may have to take her to the doctor to see if something is wrong medically such as (pin-worm)

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S.F.

answers from Madison on

I just read an article about this in Parents magazine. It said, at this age, make sure there is nothing bothering her down there, which you did. If it is just something that feels good, she should be reminded that this is something "private" and she should go to her room or bathroom by herself while doing it. Tell her it is not appropriate to do around others. The article said you shouldn't tell her it is wrong or not to do it because it may make her feel bad about herself.

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