3 Yr Old Having Hard Time Adjusting to Preschool- Suggestions?

when my kids was that age i would spend a little extra time at the school with them playing with all the other kids after about a week they started telling me ok you can go mom

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wow, 9-3 at 3? That's a long day. Can you do a half-day?

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6 hours each day seems like a long time for a 3 year old preschool program - my daughter is in one and it is only 2.5 hours twice a week. It is true that some kids take a while to adjust but would you consider preschool elsewhere if it would be a shorter length of time?

I don't know if making the good-bye longer will just make it harder on her, but perhaps you can think of some ritual you can have that will let her know that you are with her and will be back for her. Or a keepsake that she can keep with her - a picture of you, etc. At my daughter's preschool, they have a photo album and each family/child got one page to put together with pictures, stickers, etc. - the kids can look at it whenever they want, and it helps them feel a little closer to each other, ("Oh, I like Dora too!"). I don't really have any issues with leaving my daughter at school - actually, it's just the opposite, she can't wait to get there and she is all bummed if it is not a school day. She does not like me leaving for work in the evenings though. In both instances, I just tell her that I will be back, and I will miss her too and it's okay to be sad, but I will be back. And I give her a kiss in her hand "to hold onto until I see you again."

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Sorry she is having a hard time. Usually extending the goodbye makes it worse, so I wouldn't recommend doing that. she'll just feel more attached to having you there and get more upset when you leave.

I also don't think it's her age. Three is a very common age to start school and kids are generally ready, but they do need time to adjust.

I'd give it a couple more weeks. If there is still no improvement, why don't you try picking her up at 12:30 or 1:00 instead and having her nap at home? As she gets more used to the shorter days, you can work the nap back in.

Also, talk to her teachers. Find out what things she likes to do at school each day and what things seem to upset her. Talk about the good stuff at home and how much fun she had doing those things. It will get better!

K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao

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HI there, my daughter just started two mornings a week as well - but it's just 9-11:45 so much shorter, she would NEVER get through 9-3. I think it's long to start with. Anyway, my daughter had never been left with anyone other than my Mom (watches her 50% of the time) and our nanny (other 50%), and the first day was an "orientation" with parents too. She wouldnt' let me out of arms reach, so i feared she'd never adjust. The next time we went I just stayed with her the whole time - I wasn't necessarily right by her but she knew I was there. At about 11am I told her I was going to work and our Nanny would pick her up and she was fine. The next time her daddy took her and she was fine, since then I've taken her twice and she likes me to help her get settled in an activity and then I can go after I give her a hug and a kiss. I think the fact that I stayed with her the first two days and did not force her to cry it out helped her adjust. After all, there was no reason for me to expect it would be easy for her and why should she be ok with her Mom suddenly leaving her with strangers? ANyway, I know your situation is different, plus you've got he baby, but it might be helpful if you can sit with her at school a couple mornings until she gets used to it. And maybe find a shorter day, that's awfully long for a first time pre-school.

good luck

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Every child is different. Some are adventurous and independent, some just need their mommies for a longer time. If I had the freedom to do so, I would try shorter days and give her a chance to adjust. If she's feeling separated and anxious, six or seven hours away from you could feel like an eternity for her. Time flies when your'e having fun, but it creeps when we're bored or scared.

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My soon to be 4 year old needs the extra couple of minutes for hugs and kisses before I leave. If I drop and go he will start crying even though he is fine by the time they walk down the hall. If I give him the extra couple of minutes until his class is ready to start walking he has no problems.

I pulled my 3 year old son out of pre-school, mostly 8:30-12:15 mon-fri, but I never made it all those days and I wish this awesome Montessori School had just a one day a week fee! That would be something I would look into now even, but just to clean the house. After my daughter had grown out of a really TLC colic acid relux stage, it was heavy on my mind why I was sending him there. I found I just could not give him enough play attention when she was so fragile, but not after about April. You want to do what is best for her and your baby? Would you think about keeping her home and creating your own school with her? Or is this time she goes something you need for yourself or your income? If it is all about her, than I would surely keep her home much longer and simply pull the plug on the TV, or at least keep some videos when you have to put the baby down for a nap that are about letters. Try to sketch out the day as best as you can or week too, and try to stick to that plan. I think the routine that they have at the schools is a real product worth buying for our own children (and I am having the hardest time giving it :), but I make it most days!)

I am still working on a reading list for my son too. But I am just sticking to the home routines and taking care of himself. He can do tons now but it took a lot of patience. Get himself dressed, make bed, brush teeth, wash hands, set the table, pour tea, and even make eggs :). He and I read tons of books while his sister naps and he is beginning to write lots of letters. The best, best, best part is! He and his sister are beginning to play together!

I vote let her stay there for three hours while you take the baby grocery shopping - that realllly helps! She will look forward to it very soon. If you are really looking at the cost of this arrangement for getting groceries with a little more focus, then yes, let your DH watch the kids on the weekend while you go or all go together and teach her something about shopping. :)

I hope this was helpful! I had to do a lot of soul searching to finally give in after umm, Nov-Jun of sending my kid to a pre-school... every morning he missed me and once in a blue moon he was excited to go. Mostly though, he wanted to have what I described above and I love it too! We go on outings as well.

A) The quick drop off.. ABSOLUTELY. Spend as much time snuggling at home, tickling in the car, whatever... but when you get to the school, hug, kiss, wave, and SMILE and say "See you after school!" And LEAVE.

B) I don't agree with a full day. We did 4 hours a day, 3 days a week the first 6 months. Then added another day the next year. And added a couple more hours after that. Each time, we just stepped it up gradually. Why not pick up right before naptime and let her nap at home? When she drops the nap, then look at having it be a full day?

C) Developmentally, it depends on the child and the environment. Mine at 3 was more than ready. We went for an observational day, and he dove in head first. LOVED it, and did grand. He was more than ready. My nephew wasn't ready until 4 and my niece was ready at 2. Babies don't really have to worry about "ready". Whatever it is is their NORMAL life. With kids, however, ready varies. And PER the program as well. I looked at over 50 different preschools, and took my son to a couple of them. One of them (not the first) he glommed on and became my shadow. The others he went zipping off. The one he glommed onto me for was a GREAT program, but not for HIM.

D) It took my son about 2 weeks to totally adjust and be bouncing up and down wanting to go *most* days. My nephew it didn't even take a day... cried day one but not day two, and my niece (who started the youngest) took the longest, she'd cry at drop off for about 5 mintes and then cry because she didn't want to leave at pickup. Each time it took between 5-10 minutes with her. My son cried at drop off only a couple times. But each time, only for a few minutes. And while he went home happily, he didn't want to leave either.

it sounds like a really really long day for her. i would either put her in half time or pull her out altogether. day care/pre-school is a necessity for working moms, but not for littles. they develop social skills through life, not only in a formal educational setting.
let her enjoy her little-hood.
khairete
S.