3 Yo Daughter Turned Monster...

Whoever made the term "terrible two's" was wrong. It is definitely the "terrible 3's".Unfortunately most everyone I know hated 3's way more.Stick to your guns no matter how hard it is.It will only benefit you and your child in the long run.Giving in to them only causes way more problems.If you don't watch Supernanny, I suggest it (I think she has a book out too), I think she's pretty good.

I had the same experience. I LOVE my daughter dearly, as we all love our kiddos, but I cry sometimes at night after she's in bed. She's near 5 now and she can be sweet and lovely and within minutes be rude and absolutely infuriating. She gives me the feeling that she doesn't really care about what I think or say and laugh's in my face when I discipline or or take things away. I have tried everything and am open to more ideas! I have the book "STRONG WILLED CHILD" by Dobson. I think all of us with SWC could benefit from the advice in this book. I just need to get the book out again and re-read some of it!

We are going through this with my son who will be 3 this summer. The minute he doesn't get what he wants it is an immediate "fit". He is extremely strong willed so we as well have started reading The New Strong Willed Child by Dobson. I read his New Dare to Discipline book and got a lot from him, but think we need to better understand he strong willed nature. I love all the advice you have gotten as we can use it as well.

I have two daughters and they were the same way. I have some news for you....now they are teenagers and 15 looks alot like 3, only now I can't just physically pick them up and put them in timeout. Patience and consistency are key of course, and make sure you take a break for yourself once in a while to keep some sanity. Good Luck.

Ah yes--this was a fun dilemma for us, and the advice from the "experts" always seems soooo contradictory. Do we help them learn self-soothing and appropriate expressive skills? Or do we ignore the behavior and not reinforce it with attention?

What I finally ended up doing with my daughter was saying something like "I know you are very frustrated that you can't have _____ and you seem like you are mad at Mommy. I'm ok with that but not ok with your behavior. Once you have calmed down, we will talk." Then I would walk away and not give any more attention to the behavior until she was calmed down. Occasionally I had to move her (without really speaking to her) to a quiet or safer place and let her finish her tantrum. Once she had calmed down, we would do the hugging/talking/reassuring part.

Urgh. It such a juggling act! Good luck!

I also have a 5 year old daughter. Well, she tried all this behavior also. What I do to control it and manage it is if she starts to get worked up over something, I stop her and tell her "Aryana, take a deep breath, then start over" If she's just whining, then I stop her and tell her "don't talk to me with that voice please". It works. They only do what they get away with. If you let them throw the tantrums, they will, if you let them cry over everything, they will, if you let them be rude and disrespectful to you, they absolutely will. Just don't tolerate it. I have two kids, other than my daughter, I have a 4 year old boy. Each of them had ONE tantrum, that's it. I explained to each of them afterwards that that behavior was completely not allowed, and that if they ever did it again, they would be spanked. They never did it again. The day my son threw one we were in Meijer. I was shopping for Christmas toys, and he was sitting on the floor in front of a display of trucks. When I started moving, he refused. He said "No! I want to play!" and I bent down and said "Brayden, I said it's time to go, now stop playing with the truck and let's go." When I started walking away, I heard him behind me...he laid down and started crying. It was completely uncharacteristic of him, had never seen him do that before, but what I did was walk over to him and say "ssshhh, listen to me" and he stopped for a second. I said "When you're finished, you can find me. I said it's time to go, and I'm going." Well, I started walking away with my cart and stopped to "look" at some things a few aisles away (still completely in eye sight). Once he stopped crying, and realized that his tantrum was absolutely having no affect on the situation, he stood up, RAN over to me and held up his arms to me. I basically bent down and explained to him as stated before, said I loved him and gave him a hug.

With my daughter, another thing I make sure I do is explain to her that it's not HER that makes me mad, it's her CHOICES. When she CHOOSES to disobey me, it makes me upset. This seems to work a lot better with children, because their feelings get hurt so terribly, so easily, and it makes them WANT to make better choices also.

If you want anymore tips, let me know, I have a TON of them!!! I do all KINDS of particular things to teach my kids anything from how to handle mean kids at school, to chore and discipline charts, to behavior issues. If something begins to not work, I do some research and find something that does.

We had a similar experience with our DD at 3. I finally read a book that was full of great ideas that really worked. It is called Child Training Tips by Reb Bradley. I can't tell you how much of a difference it has made for us. Our DD is now 4, and she is delightful in comparison to a year ago.

I have a daughter who is about to turn 3 and a son who is about to turn 5. I had forgotten about the terrible 3's that my son went through until my daughter just started. Then it all came back to me. The temper tantrums about all of the little things, the pushing every limit she can. I just tell her to go to her room until she is done and then she can come out. I sometimes have to take her there, but eventually she calms down. My son would calm down way faster than she does, but I really just try to ignore it and not give in. I thought that it might almost be over, until I just realized my 5 year old is going through the same thing again. I don't know if that is just another phase or what. good luck to you!!

H.,
What is it with daughters? I only have one child and she is about to turn 5. She's known as our little drama queen. Everything is an emotional rollercoaster, she can just snap in a second! Sometimes I think I'm going pull my hair out. I wish I could tell you it ends at 3...but 4 is even tougher at our house. I feel like sometimes all I do is argue with her. I'll be reading more on the responses here because I'm interested to hear what moms of daughters have to say. I swear she could make some money as an actress already, HA!

I agree with Carrie. Whoever said "terrible two's" never had a three year old! My son was an angel at two compared to three. He is now 31/2, and very challenging! I think they want to be more independent and challenge their boundaries at this age. I have found that ignoring the temper tantrums(literally walking away) and never giving in to his demands has curbed his mood quite a bit! As I am writing this, he is demanding to play a computer game and I told him he had to wait until I was done! It makes me want to write the longest response ever on Mamasource! Just be strong and be the boss!
She will eventually learn that throwing fits gets her nowhere!