3 Year Old Won't Sleep in Her Bed!

My oldest daughter was 7 when I had my second daughter, and was still sleeping with me on occassion. I now have a soon to be 4 year old who likes to sleep with me also. The way I got my oldest to sleep by herself was we purchased a animal for her to sleep with. When I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, she wanted to go back to the bed with me. So I got her a "baby" for her to sleep with. My 3yr old now sleeps with the 'baby" I bought her sister and also her Dora pillows. It's not easy trying to break the habit b/c it's hard hearing them cry b/c they want to sleep with you. I had several nights where I was laying with them in their beds, and slowly I got to where I could read to them or they fell asleep watching a movie. Now with the "baby" they have and the movie, I rarely have my youngest trying to sleep with me.

I have been working on the same issue with my 2 year old son. we put my sons bed at the end of ours and I put the babies crib on one of the sides. I made him a special blanket and we just slowly modified his routine each week to now he is sleeping in his bed. I am not a fan of having him crying to sleep, or creating a big scene so I choose to do small changes. It is not a perfect system but he is happy in his bed and Hubby and I are happy in ours! Hope this helps

HI D., I KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY AT FIRST BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO RIGHT NOW TO PREPARE FOR MARCH. YOU HAVE TO PUT HER IN HER BED A LITTLE EARLIER THAN HER NORMAL BED TIME SO THAT SHE CAN HAVE HER FITS AND TANTRUMS AND BY THE TIME THAT SHE FALLS A SLEEP IT WILL BE HER BED TIME. MAKE HER GET IN THE BED AND STAY THERE WITH HER FOR THE FIRST FEW MINUTES AND THEN LEAVE THE ROOM. SHE WILL PROBABLY CRY AND COME OUT OF HER BED BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP PUTTING HER RIGHT BACK IN IT. IF THIS HAPPENS CONSISTANTLY EVERY NIGHT IT WILL BEGIN TO BE A SCHEDULE AND SHE WILL GET USED TO SLEEPING IN HER BED. BUT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAVE TO BE STERN. MAKE HER STAY IN HER BED DO NOT GIVE IN OR SHE WILL KEEP THINKING THAT SHE CAN GET OVER AND THIS WILL BE HER NEW TRAIT WITH EVERY THING.

NOW ONCE THE BABY GETS HERE THERE MAY BE SOME JEALOUSY, BUT IF YOU INVOLVE HER WITH AS MUCH AS YOU CAN SHE WILL FEEL LIKE SHE IS APART OF THE NEW SITUATION AND WILL NOT FEEL LEFT OUT. BY THIS TIME SHE SHOULD BE GETTING PRETTY MUCH USED TO HER NEW BED TIME SCHED AND USED TO SLEEPING IN HER OWN BED.

IT WILL NOT BE ALL PEACHES AND CREAM AT FIRST BUT IT WILL ALL WORK OUT AS LONG AS YOU ARE MORE PERSISTANT THAN SHE IS.

GOOD LUCK.

I can totally relate! my son still (he'll be three in april) sleeps with me and my husband and my daughter (four months) happily sleeps by herself in her crib in the room they 'share'. Once in a while i can get him to go to sleep in his own bed but even then he usually makes his way to mine sometime during the night.

Hi D., Thank you so much for your question! My daughter will be 3 in April, and she likes to sleep with my husband and me too. Her bed is next to ours and she sleeps there on occasion with no problem, but at times she still feels better sleeping with us. I'm thankful that you asked for advice on the subject because the responses have given me ideas on how to get her to sleep in her own bed/room when the time comes. Thanks to everyone! :)

Hi D.,
Its important to make the changes you need made before a new baby comes along, or else the oldder child might feel as if they are being replaced. You don't want to wait till the last minute to make changes either. If the baby is due early in March I might suggest waiting awhile and having the new baby sleep in a basenett by your bed. At least untill she has had the time to adjust to having a sibbling.
I recently concqured this problem with my three year old. What I did was go out and get her a brand new "big girl bed" (twin size), she got to pick out a'cool' new blanket set to go along with it. Its important to let them choose or have input in it. . . if its somthing they like and want they will be more excited about doing things.
I set a rule that she could only use her 'cool' new blankets if she slept in her bed. . .the first couple of night she tryed to sneak out of bed but I would take the blanket away each time and put it back in her bed, and she would follow back in because she really wanted to use the blanket. It worked for me, hope this might help some.

Hi D.-
My name is S. -- I have a 3yo and a 15mo. When My son was born my daughter (then 22months) was very jealous of him and the fact that he got to sleep in my room in the bassinet. We talked to their pediatrician and she told me advise that worked - You put the 3yo in their crib, read them a story and (we have a soft light on) that's it. She screamed and carried on for a few nights - the doctor had said usually about a week - and then she went to bed no problem. It was hard to listen to her scream and plead, but it had to be done! Now she sometimes even asks to goto bed. I know we shouldn't but we also let their favorite Disney cd play softly and both kids go out like a charm. (they share a room till we move) I know at first you will feel like a total monster and leaving her scream is going to tear your mommy heart in half but it has to be done! Good luck!!!!
S.

Hi D.,
My mom had the same problem with my brother. For years he slept in her bed, then eventually on the floor with pillows and blankets. It was crazy! I used to pick on him all the time (I'm the oldest).
I saw on nanny 911, a family who had a similar problem. The nanny had dad stand outside his room and they kept putting him back to bed. This little boy was 2. Eventually he stayed in his bed, and went to sleep. It seemed to be really hard on the father, because the little boy kept screaming and crying. The nanny said that was to be expected, and that he was fine just upset.
I think it's better if you get your daughter in her bed now before the baby comes. I had to "kick out" my dogs before our baby came. My fiance had them in the habit of sleeping in the bed too and that was a big no no with me once the baby arrived. It's better if you don't link it to the baby. Try telling her that she's a big girl now and has to sleep in a "big girl bed". Good luck, and I hope all goes well!

Hi D.,
I'm J. and new to this group and wow what a relief to know there are other moms going through the same thing. I have a 3 year old daughter as well, she'll be 4 on March 25. She has an issue with going to bed by herself and wanting to sleep with us as well. I've done all different things. Including watching Supernanny...love that show. I know my delema is that I work full time during the day and so I feel guilty of not being there for her, so I tend to give in a bit at night. I kind of feel it's my way to "make up" for not being there for her. I have changed that a bit because she now uses that to her advantage...:) We read at night, bathe, ect the same way everynight, and I tell her I will lay in her bed for a few minutes. She usually falls asleep pretty fast, and if not I still have to keep my word and leave her room. After awhile she knows I won't come back in there and she falls asleep. I've learned the key to is to stick to your original plan. and don't give in...(my lesson w/ the guilt..) and it will much quicker for her to learn. With the new baby coming it's good to do it now. so she dosen't feel like it's just because of the baby...and resent him. Good luck and let me know how you make out!!

We had the same problem with our son. We took him out and let him pick out a new bed set of his own. (He was already in a toddler bed). Since he picked it out himself he liked it and stayed in it. If you are not able to do this you can try laying in her room and comforting her this way. After a few times it should get easier.

I know exactly what you're going through. I have three girls (4, 3, and 3 weeks) as it got closer and closer to the time I was going to have my last daughter, my other two wanted to be in my bed with me and my husband. This might sound mean, but I just had to keep putting them back in thier own beds when they would come into my room. The first couple nights it was really hard, and it felt like it took all night to get them to go to sleep. But when they say that I wasn't going to give in to them, they stoped. It's been three months since they have slept with me, and now I wake up without feeling like I was hit by a truck. They both cried and had a hard time with the adjustment at first, but it didn't take long for them to be okay. To my surprize they both stopped even trying to go to my room after the third night. So I guess just believing in yourself that you can do it, is all that it takes. Just make sure you don't give up or give in. Just make sure your daughter knows that you mean buisness. Try reading her a book at bedtime too. A consistant bedtime rutine will help alot too. Well, I hope this can help at all. And I hope you are going to be getting a better nights sleep real soon.

i would recommend putting her bed in your room for a couple night & having her sleep in her bed but its in your room...if she comes in your bed you HAVE to be strong & just put her back in her bed EVERY time...we did this with our son now if we put him in our bed he complains he wants to be in his bed...we just slowly moved the bed from close to our bed to close to the door & then eventually put it in his room...hope this works...good luck :D