3 Year Old Won't Let Her Poop Come Out

I would suggest that you make a big deal of the instances where she does actually go on the potty. Tell her how proud you are of her and that she is such a big girl for letting the poop come out in the potty and not her underwear. Lots of applause, hugs, and kisses!

I agree with the advice that you should first attempt to sit her on the potty when you know she typically has a BM. As smart as 3-year olds are, they need to be shown how to establish their routine. She might not yet "get" that she should sit on the potty as soon as she should, just waiting til she's ready to burst.

If that works, no worries. If you still have challenges, call your doctor's office for additional advice or consultation to see if this is really anything medical.

I have 2 boys who have approached the potty in very different ways. My oldest sounds like your girl (he's now 8) and my youngest (3 1/2) is great on getting to the potty with plenty of time - no accidents ever.

Good luck! And it's great that you're being so supportive and relaxed with her - that's what they need: positive reinforcement.

There are a couple of techniques that you can try. Usually holding poop is a control thing for toddlers, and not a big deal. Think about it from their perspective they want so badly to control their lives but there is really little they actually have control of.

You can create a clean panty chart. You do pants checks throughout the day, and the times she is clean she gets to put up a sticker on her chart, if she then fills up the chart for a day (if the accidents are daily occurrence or a week if a weekly occurrence) she gets a special treat.

That way she is still in control, it just shifts the motivation to not holding her poop.

Are you scheduling time for her to go to poop? Since you know when she eats and seem to have been observing her long enough to know that she is holding it in, see if a pooping schedule will help. Maybe she's holding it in because she's trying so hard not to soil herself. If she's on the toilet you say it comes out soft and easy. Maybe she needs more opportunities to go.

Good Luck!

I am going through this with my daughter. I think (crossing my fingers) we have this problem finally under control after working with her pediatrician and then a pediatric GI doctor.
She too would have little pieces of poop that came out in her panties throughout the day that were soft so I didn't think she was constipated. But she would always try and hold it in. Turns out she was constipated and what happens is there is usually a big hard mass of poop in the colon/intestines and the new soft poop leaks around this and comes out in pieces or very soft. Which leads you to believe your child is not constipated when they really are. The pediatrician had us do 2 enemas and give karo syrup and mineral oil to "clean her out" which was ridiculously hard and something I wont do again! The GI dr. had us do the same thing only with Miralax and Senokot syrup. Takes a little longer (a few days in our case)and is pretty messy but it worked. She now gets a capful of miralax in her juice every other day and it has helped to keep her from becoming constipated or holding it in. This can be VERY FRUSTRATING for both the child and parent but hang in there. And I would talk to your doctor about Miralax.

This is a common problem. I would talk to your pediatrician. Her holding it in could lead to some physical problems.

My daughter did the same thing.
Out of desperation my husband had the idea to promise her a 'parade' when he got home if she used the potty.
We-including her brothers-would march through the house with her on daddy's shoulders while he hummed a marching tune.
Maybe you can get creative?

I don't think it's behavioral, although lots of time it's a control issue. If she sits on the potty and goes and is proud and happy, that doesn't sound very control-oriented at all.

It sounds to me like she is missing the cues that her body is putting out. You know...that sense of "oooh, the poop is RIGHT THERE" that we have LOL. That is a sensory issue and can be addressed although I am not sure how. I have a nephew who went through this although it started at age 1. My sister thought he was constipated. He wasn't, really, he was holding it in. (You could actually see the kid struggling to keep those buttcheeks tight. He'd stand super-straight, legs locked.) Well at 2.5 he ended up in the hospital (with seizures) and they found a "mass" in his belly. Turns out that was a year's worth of poo backed up in his body. (Yeah, seriously...ew!)

So I would talk to your pediatrician and also try to talk to her about the feeling she might be having. Know that if she is having a sensory issue, she really might NOT be feeling what we feel. She may have to be taught other cues.

Good luck.

We went through the same problem with our girl, I honestly don't think it's behavorial according to Dr. Green's website she at sometime had a large hard stool and was hard to pass she may have had a little tear in the anus and that made it painful to poop, check out his website for information we never even thought of this.

have you tried just taking her to the toilet regularly after meals and as soon as she wakes up in the morning/after naps? these are pretty common times for toddlers to poop, and you might easily be able to get her to go then rather than holding it.

I had a friend with this issue, it can be very disturbing. Her child would hold in the poo, it was terrible to see the child writhing around trying to hold it in. If you can tell that she's holding it in, it's probably not a sensory issue and a control/mental issue. You can try to find out what her issue might be by using hand puppets to "re-create" the situation...you start the story and let her finish it. Also, talk to your ped. if continues to be an issue. They can give her something (glycerin, I think, but don't quote me) to make the poo too slippery to hold in. It's not a laxative, so you don't have to worry about laxative dependency later. Once she "forgets" about the habit you can gradually stop the treatment.

There is a actual name for this disorder. I have a good friend who's daughter did the same thing, around the same age. If you want to know more, or pursue their avenue of solution, then contact me back and I will put you in touch with them.