3 Year Old Won't Go #2 in Toilet

My 3 year old daughter has understood the whole potty training thing since she was about 18 months old. She has been able to uninate only in the toilet when trying to train her since then, but she refuses to have a bowel movement while on the potty. Like all the books & resources say to, I have stopped trying to train her for weeks at a time and when we start again the same thing happens.

This week is a perfect example: all day everyday she has stayed completely dry through out the day because she goes to the restroom and uses the potty when she needs to. Then in the late afternoon she will 'poop' a little in her panties. I let her sit in it for a minute while we talk about where it is supposed to go and she agrees that next time she'll go in the potty. Then she will sit on the potty for a long time (30 mins or longer) without anything. She says she is done and that next time she will go 'poop' in the potty. Then, a little later the same thing and we continue this cycle until she gets it all out.

I've tried real panties, I've tried pull-ups, I've tried stopping her in the act the putting her on the toilet, I've tried rewards, etc. I really feel like I have done everything all the experts say to and she still won't do it. But all of the experts say that they won't like sitting in the poopy panties, she doesn't care. She tells me she just doesn't want to do it and being only 3 just won't give any other reason.

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J.A. answers from Dallas on February 23, 2007

I just went through that 2 months ago!! I read an article in the New York Times or some odd place you wouldn't expect to find it and it said to buy a whole bunch of toys and litte surprises. A friend used a shelf up high to display them, I used a "goodie bag" for my surprises. And I told her she could have a surprise everytime she pooped in the potty. Well she immediatly told me she needed to go poo poo. I didn't believe her, but she actually did it!! And so I gave her a surprise and told her every time she did poo poo in the potty she would get a surprise! And since she loves surprises, she has been wearing big girl undies ever since!! I am still amazed that it worked!! My friend said she went to the dollar store and bought alot of stuff, I had extra xmas gifts that I saved and I used those. We did the surprise system for about 2 weeks and now she goes without being rewarded. Good luck!