3 Year Old with ATTITUDE!!!

K., I don't think it matters what punishment you use... the key is CONSISTENCY. You must use the consequence every time, BEFORE the tantrum escalates, and use it no matter if it's a small tantrum or large one. Pick one consequence and stick with it consistently, it will work!! I also suggest as soon as the tantrum is over punishment should be over and she should be on to bigger better things.

I've had my 21 month old nephew for the last month and a half. When he came to live with me he threw tantrums all day every day, he was a miserable child. The day he came to live with me I started firmly telling him NO FITS and putting him on the couch EVERY time he started losing control of himself. As soon as he stopped crying I would say okay, now you can get up and we can play. I think the first week he was in time out at least 20 times a day! Now, 4 weeks later, I think he's been in time out once this whole week. He is a giggly, smiley, funny little boy whom I enjoy greatly! When he starts to throw a fit now, which isn't often, I can just say no fits and he stops. One other thing that helped is giving options, such as don't hit, pat or hug... you can't have a cookie, you can have an apple or banana, etc. This gives him a little more control and still lets him feel in charge.

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My daughter did the same thing. I was so frustrated. My son was easy and we never went through the fits like my daughter. The only thing that worked for my stubborn daughter was a reward system. We used stickers that she put on the chart after breakfast,lunch, dinner, and one after bath. (The one sticker a day is too hard for this age group) Then I let her pick a toy out of the treasure box 1 hour before bed time. If she missed 2 stickers in a row "no" toy. I wanted to give her a chance to correct her behavior. It wasnt perfect but it did help. I was very consistent on discipline. For the fits I put her in time out and when she stops she is to say sorry and she may get up. by the way my stubborn little girl is now 6 and is the sweetest little girl I have ever seen. I was so worried we wouldnt have a good relationship because it was so hard for about a year. We have the most beautiful relationship now,Your hard work will pay off, I very rarely have to discipline. Good Luck!!!!!

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I don't have a lot of advice except remember how much you love her and that she is trying to grow up and assert her independence. She's just not going about it very well because she hasn't learned how to gain some control over her emotions yet. The only thing I would recommend is to be very consistent and don't allow a situation like you described to continue for very long. Let her know you are to your limit and a consequence is coming soon. If she chooses to continue the behavior , then she will suffer the consequences. Then follow through no matter what or where you are at the time. I put my son in timeout in Barnes and Noble once(he wasn't out of control at the time, so it worked). I would do rewards for good behavior, too. Just when you think you can't go on is usually about the time they move on to something else, so this probably won't last much longer. I read what the other moms said about four being much better, but not so in my case. My son has enough of a vocabulary to carry on a why this and why that conversation when I say no or later. It can get very annoying and he has also learned lots of things I wished he hadn't from other kids. I guess every age is challenging in its own way. I just try to remember what it'll be like someday when my kids are gone and I have a quiet house with no one to argue with-beleive it or not I'll miss it sooo much!! Good luck with everything!!

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My three-year-old did/does the same thing. We've had more time-outs at three than I thought we'd ever have. The hard part is staying CALM when she is acting up or pushing my buttons. When I stay calm and don't "feed into" her mood, it ends much quicker and we can move on.

I still/often reminder her to use her words to express herself instead of whining or crying.

I see her changing for the better as she nears four. So hang in there, this is only temporary!

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My oldest was like that but worse! I was about to pull my hair out everyday! Now, I see my older sister going through this with her 3 year old, and she makes her daughter go and sit in her bed until she can "mind". Then she has to come out and appologize.
Be patient. 4 is the magic #! Once my daughter turned 4, she was a different kid! She's now a wonderful, well-behaved 7 year old who makes straight A's at school and is a devoted girlscout and loving big sister.
It WILL get easier. This is just yet, another trial of parenthood. Keep giving the time-outs and eventually she'll get better. The key is consistency.

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Bless your heart!! The worst part is when they pitch a fit in public and everyone is looking at you to see what you're going to do. No matter what you do or don't do people are going to judge you and your child and it elevates the problem. What I would suggest that worked for me (one of mine used to act out) I would pay extra attention to him wherever we were. I'd involve him in shopping and I'd ask him questions. I got this advise from an elderly woman who was watching me one day. I was almost to the point of tears! You try that and see how she acts. Then you're going to pay attention to when she's acting bad. Is she sleepy? Ignore her when she's acting out and praise her when she's good. GOod luck!

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K.-
Just been going through the same thing. It drove me nuts , then I've heard about this book by Kevin Leman and the title is : Have a new kid by Friday."
I ordered it, read it and let me tell you IT WORKS.
Thought I would suggest this...
Best wishes,
Agi

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My three year old is almost four and I'm sooooo glad. She was just like this, but it's getting better. She used to scream at me and tell me she hated me. That stopped getting a rise so now she tells me I'm stinky like cheese and I tell he that someone who is stinky like cheese loves her very much. Same thing to her dad, but he also doesn't handle it as well as I do. When she throws a fit I give her to three to go to her room and if she doesn't I calmly pick her up and take her there and tell her she can come out when she can be nice. I check on her every few minutes and just say I love you and smile at her, but I always wait until she comes out herself. Sometimes she stays in her room and plays for a while. There's a book called Your Three Year Old: Friend or Enemy by Louise Bates Ames that I read, I wanted to know how to handle the I hate you's and she just says ignore them, if they stop getting a reaction she'll stop using the phrases that hurt. Get your husband to read the book, it really is just a phase and she doesn't mean the things she says. I was reassuring my husband constantly that she does love him and she'll grow out of it, just show no emotion and be consistent with sending her to her room. The other thing that bothered him was that she would do something and he would tell her not to and she would do it again, etc. You really have to tell them about a million times before they actually remember, don't get mad, just remind her again, and pretty soon she'll be four. They also need a little extra attention and affection at this age. Always hug her when she
s being good and tell her you appreciate it. Good luck and try that book.

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time outs do not usually do any good other than give the parent a sense of control, so maybe instead try ignoring her and also sometimes we just sent our 3 year old "to bed," she is comfortable there and can "calm down" on her own.

Hi there, we also have a VERY strong willed little girl. A is now 6 years old and still very head strong. I have found that you have to set the limits. I think I gave her too many chances, before I resorted to a time out or swat on the butt. If she acts up, try sitting down and talking to her and if she is still in her mode, put her in time out and do not talk to her, until she comes around. We got thru those terrible two and threes. Now, at 6 we take away her priveleges. If she does not clean up, we take away toys...etc. The key is taking the time to talk to her and explain why things are happening the way they are and when all is cooled down, end it with apoligies and love yous. Also, with you two working...she is going to need extra love, care and attention from both of you. I know A gets bored easily and I try to do crafts with her and get her as many playdates as possible, because she is an only child...it is not an easy road. I only hope that her being a head strong person now, will serve her well as an adult...we must channel this tho or it could go the other way...and we don't want that. Hope I have helped you, Peace~Kat

My son does this too. (As well as my 1 year old daughter) I generally just put my son, during his tantrum in his room and hold the door shut so he can't get out till he quits trying and tell him that if he want's to come out he needs to be happy. I don't even try reasoning with him when he get's like that cause it's impossible. After his tantrum is done, I sit him down and we talk about why he was in his room, what it was that made him upset and what he can do next time he has a problem like that. I don't know that the talking to him about it has sunk anything into that thick little 3 year old skull of his, but it helps him understand (at the time anyway) that his choices lead to consequences.

I also find that if I know he's getting ready to make a decision that will lead to some sort of a melt down, if I stop him, make him come over and talk to me and go over what's about to happen in detail, I can help him make a good choice and he doesn't end up having the melt down. (We commonly have them around bedtime because he won't stay in his room, and if I walk him through the process of him going to bed and the consequences of staying in bed versus getting out of bed even one time, he does 100% better.)

Hi K.,

I am a mother of 2 adult children and spend a lot of time with my 2 year old grandson. First start with what you think. "THIS IS NOT WHAT KIDS DO!" That thought is really an excuse to allow it. It should not be ignored. Ignoring it makes them worse. Show and tell your daughter what she should do. They are so teachable at this age.

You have to laugh! Seriously, everything cannot be so serious. I also thought that the "terrible two's" was a misnomer - to me it was the "terrible threes"! Seriously, I raised my own and did daycare for years.....you have to pick your battles at this age also. What worked for my youngest daughter was putting her in her room. If she couldn't be civil and nice and speak nicely, well we didn't want her around and she had to go into her room. She hated that and pretty quickly decided to be sweet again. It's hard work and you have to be consistent with it. I can't tell you how many times I left stores to take her to the car. If you can't be nice then you can't be there. It was tough but she caught on quickly enough - 3's can reason and if there is a consequence to their actions over and over, it should work. Also, have you ever heard of the saying "any attention is better than no attention?" Sometimes kids will act up because that is how they've learned to get you to SEE them - you know spend time talking to them directly, she is not a "baby" anymore and wants to be acknowledged....Hope this helps and Good Luck!

Ok i completely understand where you are coming from. I have a 4y/o boy that is the same way. And yes it does test your tempers. But for us what the best thing to remember is don't let her see you sweat. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you get mad or upset just because she's upset. We have learned that when we get mad it just flares him up too. And it also send the message to let it all out. And it's ok to yell and scream. Well it's not. Trust me I have struggled with this myself, but it takes lots of self control of you and her. And that's obviously something she hasn't learned yet. Also, I have had to just turn away, and let my son just do his thing and he finally calms down. but anyway, dont' worry it'll get better. The school/daycare where my son goes, say that he is getting better and not so emotional all the time. Just take one day at a time and learn to keep your cool and it will help her not to see you guys lose it...
take care and good luck, girls are just as bad or worse than boys....but it will get better.

C. in Dallas

When you console her that is positive attention so of course she wont stop if thats the reaction she gets from yall. Try simply ignoring her when she pitches a fit tell her no once and then pretend like you dont even notice her it will be hard at first and probably take her awhile to catch on but be consistent and it will work.

My youngest of 3 went through this same deal. My husband now (kids step dad) showed me a new form of disipline that really works great and is easy on you once the kids know how serious you are about it! Make them put there hands out beside them with there nose on a door frame. Yes I know you are thinking how does that help? Well their arms get really tired and they start to wiggle around and get off the wall but let it be your time when they get off the wall. I stick to how old they are is how many minutes they stay and if I see I have my point made I let them off early. They can not be crying either to get off the wall. I can't believe how well this has worked for us. Pretty much all I have to say now is "Do you want to get on the wall with your arms out?" and they stop doing what they were doing. Hope this helps! It is really hard with stubborn little ones, I had 3! :)

Find a book with the title "Love and Logic". B.

I have the book "How to raise a Strong Willed Child' by Dr. James Dobson. I am trying some of the ideas I am getting from reading the book, and the information in the book is reminding me of the reasons why I am disciplining my daughter. It really is important to handle the situation without ignoring it, the majority of the time, because she is setting you up for a lifetime of attitude and exhaustion...
Technique will depend on your child (timeout works for some, but not for others.) What is mostly important is the consistency you are giving her in placing the guidelines and discipline...kids NEED consistency.

OH MY!! I totally can relate to you! My 2 year old throws some major tantrums!! I actually just took my 7 year old to her meme's house for a few weeks so that my husband and I can work with her. We have decided to NOT tolerate any whinning or screaming. If there is something that she wants, we simply say 'how are you supposed to ask for..' If she does not change her tone the second time, we say 'I am sorry that you are so upset, when you can calm down, ask me again'. Now it only works 2 out of 5 times right now, because we have just started. I can tell you that we are guilty of giving in and that is what led up to these terrible tantrums. My 2 year old absolutely loves playing outside in the sprinkler ~ so when it is time for nap and she is having a major fit, I take her to her room, change her diaper and lay her in her crib ~ all the while she is screaming at me~ and tell her that if she can not calm down, she will not be able to play outside in the water. That calms her down (if she can hear me over the screaming). She does not like for me to shut her door, so I tell her that if she can not calm down, I am going to have to shut her door because she is hurting my ears. I will open the door when she gets quiet.
Each child has their own buttons that you can push. I know it is hard. You do not want to have a child that nobody wants to be around, because they can not behave. When the time is right, give them choices (both of which you can live with) and let them choose. Working full-time has to be hard ~ I am sure you have lots to do when you get home and dealing with a screaming little person is the last thing you want. Try to involve your child in cooking dinner (get child size cooking utensils), have them help you put napkins on the table.... I know this is hard! Keep us posted!

The BEST parenting advice is to use the principles in the Love and Logic series. You can check them out at the library...books and CD's to listen to. There are many classes and seminars around town too. Check them out on the web. Awesome life changing discipline principles that you will use for YEARS!

Good luck.

*Talk with her at a quiet time (not after a fit or before you're telling/doing something that usually ignites her attitude - try it during breakfast time or bathtime) and discuss how she needs to express her feelings using words and not fits, rages, screaming. That makes Mommy and Daddy sad and disappointed. From now on, if she misbehaves, explain her punishment to expect.

*Be consistent w/ your punishment.
*Spitting, hitting, kicking, biting: automatic punishment....no warnings.
*Tantrums and fits get ignored PLUS no rewards all day (very important to stick to all day)
*Screams, take her hand, no talking, and lead her to her punishment area until she's quiet....DO NOT TRY TO SCREAM OVER HER OR BACK AT HER (no matter how hard!)
*After, repeat AFTER she calms down, talk with her again about what you said you expect from her as far as behavior and reiterate what behavior will not be tolerated, then give hugs

These suggestions will not work........every time......but maybe that one time it does will turn a light on in her head that you mean business, then keep it up each and every time.

Good Luck!

My daughter is now 6, but when she was 3 she did everything in the book to push our buttons and it was absolutely exhausting. There were days when she must have had at least 10 time outs. She just kept testing and testing us, her boundaries, etc. Although it was extremely frustrating, we did our absolute best to maintain consistent discipline (first we had to agree on what that should be) and we didn't give an inch. If we told her no and she did something anyway, she got one warning and we told her exactly what would happen if she did it. After that, she went to time out. But, you have to do it every time - consistency is key. You can't give them an inch or let them see that they're wearing you down. I remember it was exhausting and wondered if it would always be like that. Eventually she grew out of it though and because of the consistency she is really well-behaved now. Don't get me wrong, she's a kid and still has her moments, but overall she knows how to behave and understands what's acceptable and what's not and is a great kid to be around.

Hope this helps. Good luck!!!

I can totally releate!!! The two's were a breeze, three's have been so trying and difficult. they are just testing their boundaries, trying to see exactly how far you can be pushed. Toddlers are very intelligent & they, just like adults need respect. I found that consistency is key! In our house we demand that manners are used at all times so if she says 'give me that or get me this' I ask that she please use her manners and ask properly, until she does she gets nothing. We also utilize time out which more than anything hurts her feelings. I try to explain that I know her feelings are hurt but she hurt my feelings too by acting out, it doesnt feel good does it? This is why we use our manners and dont talk back, etc....this usually works but with everyday comes new challenges.

Just stick with it and remember this phase too shall pass (hopefully) :-)!!

My baby isn't there yet, but I've just experienced this same thing watching one of my best friends and her son. Unfortunately, what I can tell you from her situation is you just have to tough it out. Actually, first you need to make sure she's not acting out for a good reason. Is she getting enough quality time with you and your husband? Is she with a loving caregiver while you're at work? If not, she may be acting out as a cry for attention. If all these are taken care of (as with my friend's son) you just have to stay consistent with the punishments and tough it out 'till she decides it's not worth it anymore. Once she realizes she can't wear you down and she doesn't like time out, she'll give up. I know that's not what you want to hear, but at least you're not alone. Good Luck!

Blah! It is the age, but no less aggrivating. My niece went is going through the same thing. What I have noticed (and read in mags) is that the most effective response is less-is-more. A simple statement as to your position, then a statement that lets her know you acknowledge her feelings. The experts say not to say "but." For example, "I know...it is so frustrating when you can't have any more cookies. (no "but") Your tummy needs some dinner right now, so we'll have to wait until next time for cookies." If she still goes on--time out. I suggest you tell her that it's OK to feel angry, but the back-talk and fit are disprespectful and will not be tolerated by you and your husband. Maybe when she is in a good mood you could work on some alternatives for when shs is upset (kicking a ball, go into another room and stomp, whatever). REWARD her big time if she does it. Honestly, it seems the more you try to console a kid who isn't getting what they want, the worse it gets (at least with my neice). They just feel more justified. Good luck...yuck!

Oh girl I know how you feel. I have a almost 4 year old son and boy is he a handful! He throw screaming fits that drive me insane. Weve tried everything, timeouts, taking toys away, talking, counting to 5 with him, and in the public can be the worst. My best advice is be consistant and don't give in because its easier, just stick to it. We have a schedule that we try to stick with, and that helped a little, hes the kind of child that needs lots of struture. We also do not tell him he is bad, we ask him if he is making good or bad choices, this gets him thinking and can calm him down. He know if he makes bad choices he may get a toy taken away or a timeout. If its in public he know if he throws a fit he won't be able to come with us next time. Its hard, but you have to stick to it. Now that he is understanding the consaquences to his actions, he is getting better, we still have our bad days, but this seems to be good for us. Hope that is helpful to you.

I am in the same situation - except my daughter is 2!! She has fits and screams at the top of her lungs. I send her to her room to finish the fit (this can last 45 min). She will call me to the door in a sweet I am sorry kind of voice just to slam the door in my face and tell me she is not my friend. She has also told me that she doesn't love me anymore - YES a 2 year old. i have never told them this so I have no idea where she got it. I am at my wits end since I am a stay at home mom I go through this 3 or 4 times a day - SO if you get any good advice PLEASE send it to me.

SHe is having a fot as we speak!

When my son was samll they call him a strong willed child. Its hard but it can be stopped instead slow her down get to her level and let her know that you are the adult she is the child. And take away one of her favorite toys each time she has a tantrum or fit. That way when she is calmer she can earn back her items and then she will know she cant kick or scream to get her way she only loses. This worked perfect with my son still does and he is 7.

K.,

I was having behavior problems with my daughters and I put them in Karate. My youngest is 3 and my oldest is 8. I live in the Hurst area so the dojo is really close. I take my girls to J Pat Burlesons - Legends Martial Arts. It teaches discipline and self control. Just a suggestion. Have a great day.

J.

Everybody has always said terrible two's...bull. Terrific two's, terrible three's! They are trying so hard to be so big and they just can't handle all of it and in turnneither can we. I tried to have my daughter help me and make as many of her own decisions as i could. I would pick out 2 outfits to wear and let her pick. Same with dinner and grocery shopping, let her help me and make some choices. She liked being in control. I told her that there things she could be the boss over and make up own rules for them to follow but that mommy and daddy where the boss and we made our own rules too. One rule we started and it really seemed to help (or at least give us a break) when she started her tantrums was to remove her. I did not tell her she had to stop throwing a fit or that she had to quick crying but she simply had to do it in her room. It was not allowed anywhere else in the house. Our rule! At first we had to carry her to her room and that would add to fit but soon if she got mad she'd get up and go to her room. We always told her she could come out anytime 'she' wanted that was her choice but.... With no tears or fits. Again, at first she was in there a long time and carried on. Now the time is short and it often quiets down and she begins playing. We sort of flipped the tables making it her choice as to how long she decides to stay away from what ever her sisters are doing or us or even a friend. She is learning to control her emotions better. She now thinks a little bit more and decides if being away is really worth it. Good luck!!! Ps...not to burst your bubble but she started this at 3 and she is now 5 and we still use this method. It works great with high drama personality. Her older sister is completely different, just a snap in your voice and she is in line. Funny how they are so different.

We just spent the past year dealing with the
"terrible twos" from our daughter. I have two boys & then we had her and she has completely redefined that term in our family. She got so extreme she was throwing things which was just shocking to me. Timeouts became so ineffective she would actually ask for them. I even spent a few weeks month (after 9 months of putting up with this) trying yelling at her and realized that's just NOT how I wanted to be/live. I completely toned it down and what finally has gotten through to her is to literally take everything away. There were nights when her entire bedroom was out in the hallway and she was in there with just her bed so she couldn't throw anything. I still have to regularly take something out of her hands and ask her if she's ready to behave nicely but she reacts/responds quickly & pulls it together now. For my daughter, the biggest things I can take away are her blanket and her beloved Mickey Mouse - those usually do the trick & get her to stop. It took awhile for that to get through to her but I do NOT cave.

I don't want to give the impression that all is perfect - she is still VERY strong-willed and difficult/doesn't always cooperate - but it's not the extreme misery that the past year has been.

Good luck!!

Three year olds are expert "button pushers" The key is that you (and dh) have to react in a VERY calm way. If you allow yourself to get keyed up by her behavior it will only escalate the situation. Believe me I KNOW it is hard not to, but as parents and the adults in the situation, it is up to us to stay in control when are kids aren't. Staying calm takes away some of the power she is obtaining when you get drawn into the emotion of her negative behavior. Three year olds are SERIOUSly power hungry, lol! Secondly, you (and dh) need to be extremely consistent with how you handle these situations. When you do that, she will eventually know, without a doubt, what the consequence will be and she will have less of the misbehavior. Finally, remind yourself that this too shall pass. One day she will be much more sweet and loveable more than not, again.

Also, I would say, make sure she is getting plenty of rest, positive attention, and isn't feeling sick or hungry at the time of the fits. My sons tantrums and behaviors tend to be much worse when one of the above was in play.

Good luck and hang in there Mama. I know it is hard, especially when dh is getting upset too. The first kid is so hard- I guess we should cut them a little slack though since we are first time parents too. And you both work full time. I've been there and know it is so hard to be a wife, mommy and work full time. It will get better if you keep at it!

Sounds like a 3 year old to me!

Instead of just time out, why not try sending her to her room until she calms down? That was a favorite technique my mom always used. I can remember several times being sent to my room and "don't come out until you're ready to behave and to apologize for hitting your brother, etc.". I'd go in mad and eventually get tired of being angry and start playing with my toys or reading and forget to come out of my room because I was having too much fun.

Kids need downtime. They get overstimulated and they don't necessarily have the skills yet to know what to do. I've found with my daughters and my granddaughter than often times they are acting out because they are hungry or tired.

If your husband is having issues with her behavior, perhaps both he and she need to take time outs. Send him to his room or the garage for some cooling off time, too. It's not punishment, so don't make it a real big deal. If you keep it lighthearted as you can, you'll find that everyone will begin to recognize when they need to chill and will give themselves a time out.

Bottom line is that learning to control oneself is a solitary task. No one can do it for us. The earlier one learns that the more likely one is to develop emotional maturity and exercise it.

We must be sharing the same child!!! Someone recommended this book called "1 2 3 Magic". I got it from the library and it is MAGIC! It is so easy and it works! I had tried all the Supernanny stuff, but it turned into a battle and ended in me screaming or spanking. Now, I am calm, there is no yelling or spanking, and she is acting much better. I highly recommend the book! If you want specific details of what we do, personal mail me.

I VERY STRONGLY RECOMMEND you read "How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk" by Adele Faber (Author), Elaine Mazlish (Author).
I, too, have a very stubborn, very OPINIONATED little nearly 4 yr old (we could get our hard headed little women together, ha!) and this book is starting to save us. I have to work more on reminding myself to use the concepts it outlines but when I do I'm blown completely away at her responses. Something big for me is not killing her little spirit b/c her strong willing soul will be such a great commodity when she's an adult.
Anyways, hope that helps! You'll find RAVES of great reviews online about it. Let us know how it goes!
T.
Mama to Zoey Star 9*9*04
Cookin' baby Z in the oven due 9*10*08

If you ignore her and this is the reason for the behavior she will do it more. Acknowledge her but not in the way she wants. Put a time out chair where she can not see you or hear you. General rule is one minute for every year old they are. when the time is up go in there and sit down in front of her and invite her to your lap. Tell her you love her and ask for a hug and kiss. Then tel her she can go play now. It reenforces a bond and love but isolates her for bad behavior. If you are a working mom then I might suggest going out of your way every 15 to 20 minutes to go where she is and give her a kiss on the head as you check in on her and a hug won't hurt. If you are going to her for attention she won't feel she has to come demand it from you. My 3 year old used to do the same and well as my 11 year old step son. Now they are content to wait on me to come to them.

Read "Love and Logic!" The goal is to make your child into a thinker that respects natural conseqences. Age three is much harder than two, and all three year olds act this way. Your job as the parent is to teach her that this is not acceptable behavior.
Choices can also help. Give two alternatives that are equal in value that you can live with either choice. "Do you want green or red?" Do you want to leave in 2 minutes or 5 minutes?" (said 5 minutes before you want to leave).

www.loveandlogic.com

Set limits and consequences, stick to them and be consistent. Don't make empty threats . . . it is the worse thing you can do. My husband's cousin's daughter was the exact same way, and they always gave in and made idle threats and she knew it so the bad behaviors continued. My second daughter was very similar, but I was very clear on consequences and consistent with my response to her bad behavior. It got to the point she would put herself in time out because she knew she had pushed it too far! This will take time, but if you react consistently, you will see improvement. My daughter is now 9 and she has a lot of respect for setting limits and recognizing when she has acted inappropriately.

Three's are rough. When your little one is in temper tantrum mode do not console. Put your little girl in her room. No audience for the fit is a wasted fit. You cannot reason with a toddler that is in melt down. Sometimes less is more. You and your husband need to be on the same team as to how you will handle. Once you have established what will and will not be tolerated, talk to your daughter at her level. (not during an episode, maybe Saturday morning) "Mommy and Daddy do not like when you fuss and fit. So when you choose to have a fit we will put you in your room. When you are done with your fit we can "talk" about what is bothering you. You are so smart and have such a beautiful voice."

Hope you find the answer you are looking for. You are not alone.