3 Year Old with a Mind of His Own

B.,

That attitude will never end if you dont end it for him. YOU are the parent, passive should never be part of your vocabulary or demeanor. Take control and if this means taking him IMMEDIATELY out of the store or whereever when he starts, then you have to leave the cart right there, haul him out of the store and into his car seat home. Period. It's a huge pain in the patoot, but its a short pain now as opposed to years and years of this behavior. Believe me, it will continue into teenage years and the manipulation, tantrums, and anger grow proportionately. It's up to you to teach him and I know you can do it. We're all here to support you when you're having a rough day. :o)

L.

The next time you go to the store hire a babysitter, get a friend, someone who can watch him to come and wait in the parking lot. When your son starts acting up tell him that his behavior is not appropriate and explain how he should be acting. Then let him know that if he can get himself under control he can stay otherwise you will call so-and-so (whoever you have waiting) to pick him up and he will have to go home and go to bed.

It’s important that when he gets sent home he is sent to bed. If he just has to go home, then he gets out of a possibly boring trip to the store to go play at home. You will most likely have to send him home to bed several times before he realizes you are serious. And behavior always gets worse before it gets better so if it isn’t working at first keep with it for a while first (1-2weeks maybe).

I know this has worked for several people. Good luck! I hope you find something that helps.

I know this is not easy, but when your child acts out like that at a store you must leave. Leave everything and just walk out. After a few times he may get the hint and learn to behave while out in public. My dad did this with me and I in turn have done this with all 3 of my kids. It might sound nice to not care what other people think but to let your son scream in the store not only is it stressful for you but it is also the same for other people. And I know this may sound mean but I had a child who liked to walk off, so I told him that if he didn't stay close to me some stranger could pick him up and I wouldn't get to see him anymore. Mean or not it worked for me. Good Luck !!!

My son was the exact same way at three. And I was pregnant with baby number two. Now he is four, and baby number two is almost six months old now. My son is way better now. I'm not sure if it was turning four, or the new responsability of being a big brother, but he almost never acts up in stores anymore. BUT I also had to get a little firmer with him(I too was very passive with a strong willed child). The attitude does go away, I promise! Good luck!!

Hi I know how you feel i have a 3 yr old daughter she acts like that when she cant get her way..its her way or no way lol ..but My husband and I have tried rewarding her ,taking stuff away , time out even the butt tapping.which works sometimes..Dont worry bout what other people think i hate when people look and stare and most of them know what your going through!Good luck and congrats on the new baby me and hubby want one more we have 4 all together ..

I KNOW this is probably not going to help but my triplets were absolutly awful between 2 1/2 (3) and 4 yrs old. Once they hit 4 they have gotten so much better. They are 4 1/2 now and I have no problem taking them places.
Good Luck!

You need to read the book 1-2-3 Magic. It has worked wonders for my kids, 12, 4, 3 and almost 2. It is filled with great ideas for every situation. It is a really easy read and only took me a few hours to get through it.

Is he only doing this in public places? I'm not at that point yet, my son is only 4 months old but what worked w/us when we were little was my mom and dad set rules before we left the house and then stated them again when we got to the store. If we acted up or threw a tantrum we were leaving, didn't matter if there was a cartfull of groceries or in the middle of dinner, we acted up, we left. They only had to do it a couple of times before we realized they meant business. (plus when we got home, there was no toys or t.v.) at home. Good luck!

I don't have an answer for you, but Oh Boy can I sympathize. My daughter is 3 years old and no matter what I do she acts up every single time we go to the store. I have taken to leaving her with Dad when I go to the store but I want to be able to take her out in public. I try threats and evil looks and nothing works with her. I hope I don't have to leave her home while I shop until she turns 10. Good luck!

Sounds like "Love and Logic" is for you. I love their concepts and us them on my determined 3 year old.

Check it out at www.loveandlogic.com

Good luck!