3 Year Old Will Not Eat.

Updated on October 29, 2008
H.K. asks from Indianapolis, IN
8 answers

My situation is that I have a 3 year old boy who refuses to eat other than what he wants. We are constantly battleing him. In the morning he will only eat like dry cereal, muffins, donuts or anything sweet. He will not eat oatmeal or eggs, bacon, or anything like that. Lunch and dinner is worse than that. The only other things I can get him to eat are MAYBE a peanutbutter sandwich or chicken nuggets. I have found that there are some really healty chips that he loves. They are called flat earth and they have veggie and fruit. One ounce of them is worth a half of a serving of veggies or fruits but I do not want to depend on those to give him what he needs. He does take a vitamin every day. He would much rather drink his milk than eat.

I have tried keeping from giving him his milk and just giving him water instead because he uses the milk to fill up then will not eat anything. I am totally lost. He doesn't get any sweets as far as junk food goes because he is so extremely hyper active that it makes him unmanageable. I get nothing but attitude from him.

I recently found out that we are expecting to have another baby and getting ready to move back to kentucky in December. My husband is going to be staying here in Indy Mon - Friday because he has his own business up here and it is doing too well for him to just give it up. Point of me telling you this is that I am basically going to be doing this alone and my nerves are on edge as it is. I sometimes feel like I am spinning out of control and no way to stop. Please help me. I am at a loss and have no idea what to do.

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C.F.

answers from Indianapolis on

Please dont worry! In fact, someone else is going through this makes me feel better! My 3.5 boy will barely eat! Breakfast is the only meal that I know I won't have a problem with. He drinks too much milk and juice and I have learned that if I dont give him much or any at all for a while before meals I will get better results. My son has skipped very many meals so dont feel bad! Its nothing you are doing! My 7 year old never did that. They are like night and day...something else you may want to keep in mind since you are having another. They are going to most likely be very different!!

good luck!
C.

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K.E.

answers from Indianapolis on

Don't worry! As long as he is growing fine it sounds like he is just the typical 3 year old. My 7 yrd old DD went through the same thing & now I have a 3 yr old DD & she is going through a similar stage. It still is almost hopeless to get her to eat any type of veges. Be thankful you found something healthy that he will eat like the chips. Something I do in my house is to offer all kinds of foods & they have to try 2 bites. Then at least something is going in her body. My daughter is also a milk hog & would rather drink it than eat any food. I make sure she has plenty of milk but only give it to her at meal times. After she finishes a cup of milk she has to drink a cup of water before she gets more milk. I really believe that they will eventually grow out of it but just hold on, continue to offer all kinds of foods & one of these days he may surprise you.

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D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

As the mother of several children, I can tell you that children will not starve themselves. Most childhood experts will tell you about the division of responsibility. It's the parents' job to provide a healthy variety of food and present it to the child. It's the child's responsibility to actually eat it. You can't actually force a child to eat... you can threaten, cajole and play games but in the end it's up to the child what he/she puts in his/her mouth and eats (some kids will choose punishment over eating if they really don't want it).

It's nice to provide at least one dish at each meal that you know your child will like. Do NOT offer milk at meals, that's a big mistake people make. Our kids get water at meals but if they're chugging the water instead of eating we take the water away until after they are done eating.

Have set snack/mealtimes. Make the snacks healthy, like a mini-meal. Space out the snacks so he's not eating within 1-2 hours of a meal. Also remember the serving sizes for young children - it's 1-2 tablespoons for a 3 year old. So if he eats 5 green beans that's more than a serving of veggies. Write down every bite he takes for 1 week. Chances are, he's getting more than enough to eat from all the food groups but he's spacing it out over a few days/week than a 1 day period. Most experts agree that many kids do this and it's perfectly healthy.

Many toddlers/preschoolers have 1 good meal a day and then just pick at the other 2. Sit down at mealtime, put the plate in front of the child and engage everyone in conversation. Don't mention the food. If mealtime ends and he hasn't eaten, take the plate away -- he won't eat until the next scheduled snack or meal. He might be hungry but he won't starve and if you are consistent he'll learn to try everything and eat.

When my son was 3 he went through a picky-eating phase. I swear he didn't eat a single bite of food for 2 days and then just nibbled for a few days... but a week later he was inhaling everything he could find as he hit a growth spurt.

The first few days are the hardest but gets much easier within 1-2 days. Good luck.

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K.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

This is very common 3 year old behavior. My 4 year old daughter went through this for a couple of years. She is much better now. My daughter was totally addicted to drinking her milk in a sippy cup. Once I cut that out, she drank less milk and had more room for food. I always used "dips" to encourage her to eat as well. I would give her yogurt to dip her fruit and ketchup to dip her veggies. It worked sometimes. Just know that if he is getting a vitamin everyday and drinking a lot of milk and the occasional thing that you said he is willing to eat, he will be fine. This phase does pass and he will eat more. If he is growing and healthy, you need not worry. This too shall pass. Hang in there! :)

K.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

My view of this is kids will eat when they are hungry. Don't make sweets available to your son. Only healthy stuff. Offer banana, dry cereal with raisins, yogurt for breakfast. If he asks for a donut, tell him you don't have any. Make sure he gets orange juice and milk.
If he does not eat, don't worry about it. When lunch time comes, fix him a bowl of veg, best is to buy bags of froz veg that you can cook small amounts in the microwave, let them cool and he can feed himself what he wants of them. Offer a hardboiled or scrambled egg or cheese with that. Whole grain bread or crackers with jelly. Cold ham cut up is something kids really like also. Again, make sure you give him milk.
For give him all the foods you are eating, only a tablespoon of each. Let him decide how much he wants to eat.
Snacks should be raisins, apples, orange sections (madarins are good choice for kids).
He will probably not eat much the first couple of days you do this. He is going to want to go back to the sweets. But give it time and he will come around. No child starves themselves. If he is not drinking milk, try some strawberry flavoring in it.

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B.B.

answers from Indianapolis on

We've gone through this too. We try to make sure there's a variety of stuff around that's reasonably healthy - bananas, apples, yogurt, cheese, etc. She'll want to come home and have chips. We'll tell her she can have chips, but she needs to have something else first, like a pb&j or cheese or a banana. If she fussed, we wouldn't give in - we'd just keep offering, "Or you can have oatmeal, or apples or chicken nuggets....but you have to have something else first..." She'd finally pick something. It's "giving them a choice without giving them a choice". You're giving a choice, but controlling the list of options.

I lived in Louisville for 28 years before getting married and moving to Indiana. I don't know if that's where you're moving to, but if you are and have any questions, let me know.

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M.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

H., it is frustrating, but you must remember that you are in charge of your child's nutrition and health. Offer healthy foods that he will eat and keep introducing new flavors and textures periodically. Shapes can make the difference for children if you can make it fun. Cookie cutters for small sandwiches that can be made to look like a face, or broccoli trees that can be dipped in a vegetable or yoghurt dip. Apples in peanut butter. Another question: Are you offering in between meal snacks? If so, this might be causing him to graze and not feel hungry enough for meal time. You are right about the milk, he may be filling up on this and getting too many calories in a drink. A hungry child is more willing to eat. Children are developing their palate in these young years and your persistence to a healthy diet will keep you child from only desiring sugar and fat later. We know the consequence of this path! Good luck to you, and stick to your good Momma instincts that tell you to teach him healthy eating habits now.

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

Feed me I'm Yours by Lansky........BUY a copy! On top of that, don't even OFFER those other things UNTIL he has eaten some of the other. START WITH ONE BITE, if you have to, but he needs to learn to compromise, as well. DONT give in. You're not helping either of you! Talk about why those things are important, etc. I started teaching preschoolers at that age ABOUT nutrition and why things were important, where they grew, how they helped our bodies, etc. MAKE it count for more things than just eating the right things. If you don't know.......maybe this is a good opportunity for you to learn some new things about nutrition, as well.

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