20 answers

3 Year Old Still Likes to Shower with Mommy

Hello all moms,
I'm just curious if it's ok for at least one more year to let my son shower with me. He's learning how to shower standing instead of sitting in a bath full of water but at the same time......... you know he likes to stare at my body parts while playing and puting on his own body wash. I tell him "Don't look at mommy" he listens and sometimes forgets.
Both of my kids hardly ever take naps anymore, otherwise I'd take a shower than. I work from 4pm- 9pm so that's why I have to shower early, To go to work smelling fresh. When I come home from work I go straight to bed because I'm tired. What should I do? Have both of them wait for me in the bathroom while I shower? lock them in the bedroom while I shower? Any advise will do, thank you!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Hello everyone and Mommies,

I'm proud to announce that this morning I explained to my son about the different body parts and that when he grows up he's gonna look just like daddy and that when my little girl grows up she will look like me. I also told him that half a yr or maybe untill his 4th birthday he can't shower with me anymore. He smiled and said "ok!"
After that I will leave the bathroom door open just incase they need something while watching their favorite DVD.
I will now begin to shower 4-5 times a week instead of everyday!

I would like to thank everyone for their help for such a simple yet silly question.

Featured Answers

I think it's okay for him to continue showering with you. Although, in my opinion, it's maybe better to talk to him about bodies (respect them, differences, etc.) than tell him not to look at you.

There's a great speaker about this. Amy Lang with Birds + Bees + Kids. http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com/

4 moms found this helpful

I don' think a 3 year old will remember any of it but I have heard of people who can remember back to 4. I can only remember back to about 5. I raised very hyperactive kids, 4 boys and 1 girl and what I would do is put on a video they liked and make them some pop corn or other snack and that would hold their attention till I got out of the shower and I would open the bathroom door while I did makeup. I had one escape artist too so at one point I had to keep him with me at all times. It was very hard. Good Luck

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

It is your choice how to chose to raise your children but being naked in front of family really isn't a big deal in my mind. Our culture tends to make way more of being naked than other cultures. As you know from other parenting situations, if you make a big deal out of being naked, then so will your children. Your 3 yr old is just curious. Your body is different from his and he is curious. You could take advantage of the situation and explain the differences (in simple terms) between boys and girls. Just my 2 cents.

6 moms found this helpful

I think that a lot of sexual hang-ups come from being taught that the human body is nasty, dirty, or shameful. My husband and I take a very matter-of-fact approach to it: my almost 4-year old still takes showers with both of us. About a year ago he started noticing the different "parts", and we just explained it very simply: "boys have penises and testicles, girls have breasts and vaginas". He was mildly interested for about a week, and now it's just no big deal to him. When he starts showing signs of modesty or embarrassment we'll modify our showering routine, but until then we feel our approach is healthy and practical.

5 moms found this helpful

Hi M.,

This first question I have is, "What is wrong with him looking at you?" Are you uncomfortable with it or do you feel that it is socially unacceptable for boys to stare at girls? He is three years old and curious as he should be at that age.

If you personally feel uncomfortable with the situation then I would encourage you to not shower with him for a bit and try to figure out what is that really bothering you about the situation; your own body image, past experiences, what have you. Once you have identified the issue then you can work with it.

If you are more concerned about the social aspect then I encourage you to talk with your son openly about the differences between your two bodies. Educating him and being openly honest with him will most likely ease his curiosity. If that is too awkward for you, is there a daddy (or other male figure) that he can shower with sometimes?

Good Luck to you,
S.

5 moms found this helpful

I personally think that even saying "Don't look at Mommy" sets up some kind of taboo that being naked is bad or that being with your mom is somehow wrong. I don't think that is healthy. But, if you are feeling uncomfortable, then don't shower with him. I think that you could totally have them play in the bathroom and you could talk to him so you know his whereabouts.
Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful

I think it's okay for him to continue showering with you. Although, in my opinion, it's maybe better to talk to him about bodies (respect them, differences, etc.) than tell him not to look at you.

There's a great speaker about this. Amy Lang with Birds + Bees + Kids. http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com/

4 moms found this helpful

I think it depends on your attitude about nudity and the human body. In our home our bodies are natural, beautiful and normal parts of us, so showering and changing clothes are no big deal in front of the children. We do explain about no one touching their privates and such, but at the same time, we do not want to create hang ups about body image or too much focus on taboos. Boys and girls are different so they can be mommies and daddies when they grow up and the kids are happy with that explanation. Typically they are just noticing that you are different from them, just as they would be examining the size of your hands, color of your eyes, etc. My daughter who is 3 is very fond of my breasts even though she has been weaned from breastfeeding for quite some time. She'll just say they are beautiful because she has a beautiful association with the breastfeeding and our closeness that we had during that time and then goes back to playing with her toys in the tub. Your reactions and behavior will reflect on them as they grow, so a self-evaluation of why you feel it's bad for your son to see you would help you figure out what boundaries you want or need and how to keep what's normal, normal and what's not acceptable, correctly explained and dealt with.

4 moms found this helpful

I personally don't see anything wrong with them showering with you especially for another year. There is nothing wrong with it and even for them to look at you. You are their mother and looking is natural and ok. I would rather have my children bath with me at that age the locked in a room unattended.

4 moms found this helpful

I just love these questions that deal with nakedness. I wasn't raised in the US and find it surprising again and again what a big deal is made about the naked human body...

I agree with others that say, if neither of you feel uncomfortable showering together, nothing wrong with it!

You obviously feel uncomfortable, otherwise you wouldn't tell him to look away. That really is not a good message you are sending. In my mind you are telling him that he is not to look at a naked female body, implying that there is something wrong with it, even if you don't mean to.

If you don't feel comfortable showering with him, rather don't do it at all, than teaching him that it's bad to look at mommy (or any naked female in his mind) - that's just my opinion.

If your home is not safe for the kids to occupy themselves for 15 minutes, I guess you will have to lock them into a safe room. I personally just turn on the TV for my two year old (she doesn't get to watch a lot of TV, so she will be glued to it, while it's on) and leave the bathroom door ajar so she can come in if she needs to. Our home is babyproofed, so I don't worry about her finding something else to do, if she decides not to watch.
Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.