3 Year Old Son Is Too Rough with 11 Month Old Brother

First, I would suggest using the word "gentle". Such as, be gentle with your brother. He is very little right now, and he can get hurt very easily. So please be gentle with him."
Second, my daughter is now 12 and my son is 5. They fight, and roughouse everyday. No matter how much we tell them to stop, they still do it. It is just what siblings do, I guess. This is what i have been told.
As in the age right now, just make sure he is not hurting the younger one. Make sure you emphasize how it makes the baby feel. How would he feel if someone did that to him? He will soon understand, and may stop. If the 11mo. old is laughing or smiling at the 3 year old, the yonger one may think it's ok.
About the sharing, he will not want to share anything. But to help promote sharing, have him put away his most precious things to not share, and have him share something he doesn't really care for. That would be a start.
Good luck!
M.

I worked at a inhome daycare once and we would just seperate the kids like this the best we could. One would have to play in one area the little one playing or closer to either me or my boss so that we could protect the little one. I know it seems like a weird idea to keep sibling seperated but you have to protect your little one. Maybe have the little on in a highchair, playpen or have the 3 yr.old doing activities at the kitchen table while the baby get's time to crawl or walk.

Hi there I too am having the same issues with my daughter she is 6 and my son is 2. Slyvia Would get extremely rough with Elijah. The root of her problem turned out to be that Elijah gets to spend more time with myhusband who works nights because my husband is home during the day with him and Sylvia is at school and I am at school. Except for his days off she only gets to see him for 1 and a half hours a day. My husband has made a point to have some one on one time with her on his one of his days off. just by him doing that she has been alot more careful with her brother.

My boys are 39 months apart--they're now 5 & 2, and I STILL deal with them fighting every single day! (Of course, now the 2-year-old initiates it half the time.) I guess just be consistant...and EVENTUALLY (hopefully!), things will improve (for both of us!). :)

With the sharing...that's tough too. 3-year-olds are not good sharers in general. Praise him when he willingly shares. And again, eventually...

Good luck!!

I have two boys too (now 7 and 4) and I know EXACTLY what you're going through! lol My thought is that alot of the agression stems from the older child feeling like the younger one is taking up HIS mommy and daddy's time. I made a point of spending time, even if just a half hour, playing with my older son alone while little brother was napping or when dad got home. I would then spend time playing a game with BOTH of them together, which teaches the older one how to play appropriately with the new baby. Older siblings who were used to being the #1 and only in mommy and daddy's life until baby came along need alot of reassurance that they are still just as important, precious and loved as before. Good luck!!!

PS: Don't react to agression--that may be what he wants (i.e. yelling, etc). Tell him no, put him in a time out and WALK AWAY. If he gets up from the time out, keep putting him back without saying a WORD until he stays. If he thinks he'll get your attention by huriting little brother, he'll keep it up.

I have a 3 and a half year old and an 18 month old and we struggle with some of the same issues. I try to make a bond between them by letting her help with some of his care...helping with diapers, dressing him, etc. (It doesn't make it easier for me but she feels like she is my helper and she is in more of a caretaker role.) I also ask her if she will help me teach him to share by sharing her toys. Last month I put a paper on the refrigerator and we put a star on it every time she shared. When she got 10 stars I took her (not the little one) to the store to buy a coloring book and an ice cream cone.

I think older siblings usually do the things you are describing because they are jealous of the attention the little one gets or just want a little more attention for themselves. When he is too rough, what I would do is make sure you give the majority of your attention to the little one and simply give the older one a consequence at that time. (That way his attempt to get extra attention didn't work) Then later, make sure you DO give the older one some one on one attention because that may be what he is looking for.
Good luck to you!