3 Year Old Play

We used to go to story time at the library. There were lots of crying babies in the background and everybody was okay with it.

I used to do lots of pre-school work books with lots of stickers. this was very engaging and she could do a lot of it herself. I would get her started and she would finish.

Consider very open-ended sensory activities... a tub of rice or water with some items to play with (funnels, scoops, cups)-- this was always a hit with my preschoolers. Playdough with simple kitchen items ( plastic placemat to put it on, butter knives for cutting, buttons or poker chips or craft sticks to put in the playdough).

Does she watch much tv or use computer games? I have found that kids who have more media time seem to have a harder time entertaining themselves. Not everyone will agree with me, but it's been my observation as a preschool teacher that it's certainly true for some kids...

This is a perfect time to take your colicky little guy out in the carrier/pack and hold a paper bag while she collects leaves (let her choose, don't tell her 'not that one' unless it's gross... you want to keep her engaged) and then put them in a phone book to press.

Depending on the kind of table you have, shaving cream or detergent bubbles are a huge hit with kids. Shaving cream can strip the finish off some tables, so you could use a vinyl or oilcloth tablecloth/cover if need be, or use a moderately wet sponge with a big squirt of detergent on it to make bubbles. The kids loved running plastic cars through this, or using paintbrushes or rubber spatulas.

Let her have some safety scissors, some tape (if she has difficulty with the dispenser, use masking tape and put the pieces on the edge of the table so she can pull them off) and some paper. Let her make what she wants.

Lack of physical activity can make a child feel tired. When I nannied for families with colicky babies, I just decided that baby was going to cry no matter what we were doing, so I'd put baby in the pack and we'd go out for a walk. It's good for everyone to get out! Even if you just stop in at the coffee shop for a little nibble for your 3 year old and a cup of coffee or such for you... it will be worth it. If your little screamer won't be quiet, you can just wait outside for a few minutes and tell them to wave to you when your order is ready.

Take care of yourself, too, Mama! I remember those long days with those needy babies. This too shall pass. :)

Added: I never say below that they can't play on their own at all. Just that you can't expect them to do it for a long time before they need redirection or someone to play with.

Original reply: At three, they can't really be shown an activity and left to do it. It will help you a lot to get some good books on child development and focus on how three-year-olds think and act. They still need you to play with them a good deal, and talk to them a LOT while you do it, and when you leave her to do something on her own, you might expect five, maybe 10 minutes of that before she is looking for you. Read up on realistic expectations for a child this age; I think maybe you have expectations that are not realistic. She should not be "wandering around the house looking bored."

Once you know more about her age and stage: Check your local parks and recreation department for "mommy and me" classes (yes, you need to be there!) in everything from tumbling to art to dance; check the library, for story times which often include activities and crafts; take her to classes like Music Together or Kindermusik, which are terrific for kids her age--look online for local classes and yes, parents must participate too; see about classes at places like My Little Gym or Gymboree too.

At home: Remember, playing is learning at her age, and she very much needs you to participate and play with her for a while to come. By interacting with her, you are teaching her too, even if you are not doing ABCs and 123s. Just talking with her a lot teaches her verbal skills; playing "store" teaches her about interacting with others politely; having her "help" in the kitchen by pretending to cook alongside you teaches her motor skills and can even help her learn to count and measure; having her help fold the towels is fun for her and not a chore. And so on.

If you just initiate and then leave her by herself to play, she is going to seek you out because she cannot yet focus long enough -- and also because the thing she wants and needs most in the world is your attention and interaction. Enjoy her while she's still wanting you around all the time!

My daughter went through a phase of saying she was tired when she was 3. She just turned 4. Anyway - at 3 she did like to pretend and when engaged she would pretend all on her own with her toys for quite a long time. I signed her up for preschool at age 3 and she loves that. She took gymnastics once a week for about 4 months and loved that. She took swim lessons for one session and loved that as well. In the spring she really really loved kinderkick soccer. At home she liked/likes to go outside with me and ride her tricycle or take a walk where she rides the the trike. I take a dog leash and when she gets tired I pull her. She loves it if I take her to the park or invite a friend over. She loves it when I set her up to paint or to play with play doh. It just depends on her mood. She loves it if I make a fort with pillows/blankets/furniture...she sets up house in there. She really loves to help me cook or bake. I take the dog for a walk almost daily and once we are out on a trail she loves it. Being out in nature seems to make her really happy. But, like your daughter, she went through this long phase of saying she's TIRED or BORED. And she also went through a phase of saying her leg hurt every day. Growing pains? We never really knew.

Might be a good time to get her involved in some activities with other kids. Even if its a daycare center for 2 days a week. She may want to be more social and play with other kids. She's just bored and that is why she probably feels sluggish. Take her to a park or indoor play area. Try swimming lessons or some activities through your city. My son is in daycare where he gets to socialize with other kids his age and plays indoor soccer

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Might be a good time to get her involved in some activities with other kids. Even if its a daycare center for 2 days a week. She may want to be more social and play with other kids. She's just bored and that is why she probably feels sluggish. Take her to a park or indoor play area. Try swimming lessons or some activities through your city. My son is in daycare where he gets to socialize with other kids his age and plays indoor soccer

How does she do outside? At the park? Does she like to swing, climb run? Ride her trike or Bike? Maybe she is an active type of child. Being inside is not enough room to be active.

Some children are super social and like to have a playmate.

Some children do not know how to play.

Playing house, Playing super heros, Do you have a baby in the house? If not she may not know how to play with baby dolls.

Is she creative? Our daughter loved building blocks, painting, playdo..
She liked dressing and undressing Barbies in all sorts of clothing combinations. She then liked dress up and would concoct all sorts of crazy outfits.. even wear purses on her head like hats, rubber cloves on her feet like a duck..

We would lay out 2 or 3 easy puzzles and mix up all of the pieces and she would so 2 or 3 puzzles at a time.

Our daughter loved playing "Traffic" on the drive way with all of her riding toys. We would use sidewalk chalk to make roads, stop signs, cross walks.

Some children need to have companionship.

Maybe she is lonely, this could make her a little depressed, this would make her sleepy or bored.

Does she take a multi vitamin, could be she is low on iron.

Make sure she gets a lot of sunshine. Milk is fine for Vitamin D, but sunshine is even better.

I'm not sure where Leigh R is coming from *ETA: sorry Leigh, I misunderstood!* Three year olds, even two year olds absolutely can play on their own. Walk into any preschool and you will see children this age digging in dirt and sand, scooping and pouring water, stacking blocks, pushing toy cars or moving animals around while making noises, all kinds of independent play. They don't really start playing with each other until they're closer to four, that's when they really start to develop socially.
My kids did the same thing at home. Just like the preschool teacher, I was always nearby, always talking to them, asking questions and being engaged, but I rarely sat down and actually played.
Can she go to preschool a few mornings a week?
You can also engage her by having her "help" around the house. Just bring her in to whatever you're doing. Laundry, dishes, cooking, gardening, washing the car, sweeping, whatever. Then sit down and read a few stories and snuggle, either while the baby nurses or is sleeping.

When our kiddo's were 3 they started Head Start so they could have a structured day instead of sitting at home all day. They did gymnastics, dance, BMX, etc...in the evenings and on the weekends.

Chances are, she just needs to be verbally and socially engaged. Everyone's suggestions are great.

But just to be on the safe side, you might also look out for the following things:

* Does she avoid eye contact?
* Does she engage in any repetitive behaviors, like rocking back and forth?
* Is she unusually sensitive to stimuli, like touch?

If so, check in with your pediatrician and get a referral to a neurodevelopmental specialist, just in case.

Nervy Girl is right. Try to lessen tv and computer because it's addicting and puts them in a trance when compared to play ! You might already do this !!

Give her a "job" to help out w/ the baby. Give her a few choices....

Do you take her to the library to kiddie classes? Do you take her outside while the baby is sleeping?

I used to set out some Tupperware on the floor. I would never say tp play with it though...

Put toys away and then take them out--rotate them.

Is she in preschool at least 2 days a week?

Has she had her 3 yr check-up? Call the nurse at the pediatricians office and run it by her.

One of my kids never played on her own. I brought her to a neuropsychologist for testing and found out why...But, that could be jumping the gun here. I used to assess kids, so, I knew she had to be tested.

If she is in preschool, ask the teacher what she observes. If she is not in preschool, try to get her in just 2 days a week beg in January for a few hrs...Maybe she is more of a social butterfly.

Some of this will tag onto Nervy Girl's post... but I have some indoor (or 'out on the deck/driveway/sidewalk' ideas) ideas. I agree- it's hard to get out and about with a little one at home.

I bought a large, rectangular flannel-backed table cloth and put it down on our hardwood floors and turned my kids loose with play-doh. The rule was that it had to stay on the "mat". Clean up was much easier and the kids were able to get really creative!

Cups, cups, cups! Buy a bag of 5 ounce plastic cups, the disposable kind, but you can re-use them, (wal-mart, dollar store) and have her make pyramids of stacked cups. Then knock them all down! Obviously, not a good activity for when baby is napping, but you get the idea.

Get a shoe-box size tub with a lid (or bigger if you want) and fill it with dry beans. *This activity requires supervision with a 3-year old*, but have her scoop the beans into a dish, a cup, use a ladle- etc. Or, just let her run her hands through the beans for a great sensory activity.

Put a step-stool by the sink and let her wash her tea-set.

My daughter used be in charge of diapers. She would take them out of the package and stack them on the changing table. I would also let her fold the baby blankets. She loved helping this way because it made her feel like she was a part of her brother's care.

Finally, you can get her started on something and back off for a bit. For example, tell her to "make a snowman out of the playdoh and let me know when you are done. I'll be right over here doing -fill in the blank-."

And I totally agree with Nervy Girl- take care of yourself, too! Don't feel guilty telling your daughter that she needs to play by herself! I think if you jump start some creativity for her, she won't be so tired!