3 Year Old Not Pooping in the Potty

Updated on August 29, 2009
M.E. asks from Hugo, MN
8 answers

Hi- my daughter is 3 and is potty trained to a certain degree. She refuses to poop on the potty, insists on a pull-up. I have tried to refuse but she just holds it in and is terribly uncomfortable and in pain. I can not do that to her. I have tried coaxing and sitting with, let her choose her potty chair, etc. Now, I am not in a big rush, but I do not want to continue letting her use a pull-up for ever, I just want to help her transition. Any suggestions? She never has pee accidents and has been potty trained for 4 months. Thanks!

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

My neighbors experienced the same thing. It will stop being a big deal to her when it stops being a big deal to you. She'll poop in the potty in her own time or when the motivation is stron enough (you can't start school if you can't poop in the potty). In the meantime, I recommend being okay with the pull up?

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

My daughter just turned 3 about two weeks ago... We are in the same boat and what I have noticed if we are around other kids her age and they have to go to the bathroom my daughter will also and go pee or poop on the potty. At home it is another store, peeing in the potty is fine but she would rather poop in her underware. It will come in time, and being around other kids her age may help. My MIL keeps saying do not make a big deal of it and that soon enough she (my daughter) will be fully potty trained. It is hard but just keep your cool and keep at it, as my MIL say soon enough they will be in high school and you will be thinking where the time went.

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A.M.

answers from La Crosse on

If my son was having a "stubborn" potty day, I found it helped to tell him that we couldn't go to the park, go outside, whatever --- UNTIL he pooped in the potty. This was partly for MY sanity, lol, since it's much easier when he pooped in the potty vs. in his pants.
I've also heard of telling kids that they can't leave the bathroom until they poop, and while it seems a bit extreme I can see how it would help with a totally trained but stubborn child.
Good luck!

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

This is very common--someone else just posted about it last week. You can probably look up those responses. We went through this with my older son who is now 13. It can be really BAD and even cause damage if they hold it so for now I would back off and just give her the pull-up and then afterwards put her back in her underwear. My son would ask for a pull-up, we'd give it to him and then quietly and quickly clean him up and put him back in the underwear. This was done at the suggestion of a child therapist. It took a few months, but he did poop in the potty eventually! With our son it seemed to be some sort of anxiety about pooping in the potty. I think a reward ultimately helped too--my husband bought him a new engine for his train set. He is very analytical so we talked a lot about the wastewater treatment plant and where things go after you flush. There is a Magic School Bus book about wastewater treatment. Good luck--I know how frustrating it can be.

Edited to add: For those of you trying the Miralax route just be aware that it can take awhile to get the dosage right. If you use too much it can cause uncontrollable, loose stools. My son was on it for quite awhile. I think they actually recommend "cleaning them out" and then tapering the dosage, but it can take days or weeks to figure out the appropriate dosage so that it is effective, but you don't get runny stools. You might want to ask a doctor too. Although it is over the counter and considered safe, I've heard some things about it since my son used it and might think twice about going that route again.

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H.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hello, M.

I am mother of a soon to be three yrs on the 5th of Sept. I am in the same position as you, he will not go poop on the potty but peeing is going great. He wears underware and doesn't have any accidents, even can go through the night and not have one. But when it comes to pooping he holds it in and says he doesn't want to go. I was just talking to my mother in-law last night, and she suggested Mirolax, I guess my neice was having the same problem. There wouldn't be anyway she would be able to hold it and she would have to go on the potty. (would obviously need to make sure you cought her before she goes in her pants)She said it is not a strong laxitive and it just makes it easier to go. Maybe once she does it she will get more comfortable with it and won't be such an issue. That is what I am hoping happens with my little guy. I am going to get some of it today. Good luck!

H. S

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M.S.

answers from Rochester on

We had this problem with our first child. The pediatrician told us to first get her to poop in the diaper/pull-up, but in the bathroom. When we changed the pull-up, we would put the poop in the toilet and flush it, so she could "witness" that happening. Then, to have her sit on the potty with the pull-up and poop. Then, she suggested we cut a hold in the diaper, which I thought sounded ridiculous, but maybe it would work. We never got to that point. She started pooping on the potty shortly after the first step. And yes, you don't want her to hold it, and make herself sick!
Good Luck!

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S.F.

answers from Madison on

I've found that a child needs to decide on their own when they will start pooping in the potty. Back off and she will eventually do it on her own. I know it is frustrating! My two daughters used the potty consistently for peeing long before they would poop in it. No reward charts, treats or special presents worked for us. My youngest daughter was peeing in the potty about six months before she decided she would poop in it. She just did it in her underwear, Yuck!!! But then after about six months she decided she was ready and we haven't had a issue since. Be patient with her!

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was in the exact boat a year ago with my son. Potty was going well but he would not go poop unless in a pullup. I tried the method of having him move into the bathroom to poop in a pullup, then on the toilet. No luck. This went on for 6 months!

What worked for us was Miralax, recommended by the doctor. While my son was not constipated, his poop was firm enough to "freak" him out, I guess. As soon as we softened his poop, he easily started pooping in the toilet. It took about a week on Miralax to get it to the right consistency for him (I know, too much info) After that we found a half dose daily was the key.

Talk to your doctor before you but her on it though. I hope this helps you. I wish someone had given me this advice much sooner!

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