My mother gave me the best advice once for dealing with out of control children or children with behavior issues. Take all your emotion out of it. Don't get angry, upset etc... Treat the behavior or the acting out intelluctually not emotionally. I realize that is easier said than done but it has worked for her ( both of my brothers were ADHD and one had some psychological issues. Nothing anyone did to him just had some mental issues.)Now my younger brother is 22 and is fluent in both Italian and French. Is getting ready to study abroad. My older brother also is successful. So I would say it worked. You sound like an amazing woman for being able to deal with all of this. Give yourself a big pat on the back. That child needs love and lots of it. You sound like you can and want to give it. Don't give up on him.