14 answers

3 Year Old Doesn't like Preschool

Sorry if this is long...

My son, born June 24, 2008 has been going to a lovely Catholic preschool, the school is pre-k-8th grade. The atmosphere at the school is warm and nurturing as well as having good academics. We also chose the school because we agreed to raise our children Catholic, even though I am not Catholic. We thought it would be easiest for everyone to have his religious education given right along with his regular schooling so it wouldn't have to be another activity to be scheduled in a hectic overscheduled world.

The class is large, 16 kids with 2 great, experienced teachers. The children are all a great bunch, there is only one boy who causes trouble and is mean and one girl who just doesn't listen so causes a little extra fuss.

The teacher thought my son had no abdominal muscles because he lays down all day. This is not the case and has been checked out, he is more the hyperactive type at home, climbing, jumping, riding tricycles, slides, trampoline, etc. I told her I thought he was overwhelmed and we agreed that he should repeat 3 year old preschool since he is a summer baby boy.

Now, he was home for a week with the flu and is recovered now and has another week off for Christmas break. He has been saying he doesn't want to go back to school and that he doesn't klike it. when asked may different questions about it he says he only likes the leggos and the cars.

what do I do? do I make him stay there til June? I have been having a coule of playdates with some othere kids to mae some friends, it hasn't seemed to help. How hard do I push him to stay and hope he likes it? I am open to changing schools if that's what is best for him I don't want him to be miserable for another almost 6 months and get a bad taste in his nouth about school.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

A little more info: I have observed the class twice, my son lays in the 'math' corner and slowly builds lego towers or a couple other games. At circle time he lays down while all other kids are sitting, he usually stares at the floor or the wall instead of the story book. He has known his alphabet since he was 2, he can count to 30 pretty regularly, he uses the potty completely independently (including wiping #2). This is a very play-based preschool, there are some 'requirements' like art or science activity, but all fun.

He does not interact with the other kids, he says there are a couple of kids he likes, but he does not talk or play with them, I am trying to have more play dates to help. He went to day care for about 6 months last years and LOVED it, this is why I sent him to preschool. He had an adjustment period, but always left me OK and then didn't want to leave the school at pick-up. There were only 6-8kids and they were very nurturing, held him, etc. I am considering going back there, he would be in a different room, but also small and 2 days 1/2 day. He can stay there til kindergarten and we can see how he does. The repeating is more for his social reasons than academic.. And as far as being with kids his age, there are so many summer babies being held back that he would either be 1 year younger or 1 year older than some of his classmatees, which would you want for your child?

Featured Answers

my 3 yr old was having trouble too. big time (we switcjed) we talked to the teacher who are working hard at engaging her and including her and she is SO MUCH HAPPIER. and 16 is smaller end. her class is like 20 or so!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Can he stay home and start again next year?
It won't hurt him a bit and you can find kids at the park, McDonalds, and your neighborhood.
Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

of course you make him go, if he can get away with that now he will do it over and over, stick with it. 3 is young tho is this a half day thing a few days a week if not look into that all day every day is too much for a kiddo taht young. in the mean time remind him every mornign about his friends and the fun things he does and of course be happy infront of him even tho its hard on him.

1 mom found this helpful

Maybe he just wants to be home and be a little boy as long as he can. Some children like preschools and others aren't ready for it, in my opinion. There are many years of school ahead for him and I'd let him enjoy his time of freedom.

1 mom found this helpful

I would ask the teachers more about his behavior at school and more about what they see as his interaction with the other children. It is hard to guage a 3 year old's ability to make decisions for himself and harder still to judge his emotional state when he is just getting over being ill. I would hesitate to let him not go back at all you cannot tell what combination message he'd get in his head from being sick to never having to go back....

Talk to the school. Maybe he needs to repeat it, maybe he needs a smaller class for a year. Talk to his teachers. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

At 3 most of his day should be playing. Individual play and group play. The rest comes along with activities.

He will learn his colors, learn to count, learn some songs, learn his manners, be potty trained, learn to share.. These are the main parts of what his day should be like.

If it is more academics with lots of sitting, that is too much for a typical 3 year old.

At our daughters preschool they spent at at least 2 hours of outside play in the morning and again in the afternoon. There was a craft time, a project time, inside play, lunch and nap with a story time. This was every day, weather permitting.

It was not till preschool that it had even a hint at any type of "paper work."

I am also going to guess he liked being home and being the single person to get a lot of attention. I do not think you are forcing him to go to daycare, I think instead he "gets to go and play with his friends and see his teachers."

Our daughter loved day care because she got to play. At home, she was stuck with boring mom that ran errands and did chores. All of the other kids in our neighborhood were in daycare also.

She could be clingy and a homebody after being ill, but once she got back to school, she adjusted again and loved it.

1 mom found this helpful

all kids (at least mine and all kids i've known) "hate" school. my son fights EVERY morning to wake up and get dressed. you don't mention how he acts when you get there. is he playing with the kids contentedly? does he seem happy when you pick him up?

i feel like too much emphasis is being put on this. heck he might even feel pressure from you over it now that you're talking about making him "repeat" a year of preschool. but that is probably coming as much from the school as from you as parents.

i just don't get putting such pressure on preschool as a learning experience. he should be having fun and goofing off and shouldn't have to worry about whether he is "performing" up to standards.

our preschool is preschool/daycare and while for 2 hours a day they are doing "scholastic" things, for most of the day he is playing, learning social skills, how to take turns, etc. that is what preschool is about for me. my son is 5, late fall birthday so wasn't old enough to go to kindergarten.

i would not take him out of the school. if you trust the teachers and the atmosphere, why would changing schools make a difference? i think he will be fine. just keep taking him and be positive about it and play up the good points. if they have a show and tell day or special events (my son had about twenty the last couple weeks with the holidays) play those up. be positive and maybe it will rub off on him! :)

1 mom found this helpful

my 3 yr old was having trouble too. big time (we switcjed) we talked to the teacher who are working hard at engaging her and including her and she is SO MUCH HAPPIER. and 16 is smaller end. her class is like 20 or so!

1 mom found this helpful

If you can, I would send him back to the smaller, more part time preschool until kindergarten if he was thriving there. Is this current school full day, 5 days/week? That would be WAY too much preschool time, in my opinion. It sounds more suited to families that need full time daycare, rather than a good length of time many 3 year olds should be in "school." 3 can be a tough year. My oldest DD had a rough 3 year old preschool year. We did stick it out and her 4 year old year was outstanding. I credit an extra year of maturity and a very, very talented, dynamic, fun and loving 4 year old teacher. (Her preschool class was about 20 children with one main teacher and 2-3 assistants). A lot of 3 year olds aren't ready for the class participation yet. There is always the child who won't come to circle time. Some just aren't ready. Too shy, too busy, apprehensive about transitions. He is only 3. If he isn't joining class time at 5 or 6, that is one thing, but at 3, I would hope his teachers understand, gently invite and encourage, but don't have unrealistic expectations for him. That seems strange for them to comment on a concern about abdominal muscles. At this age, it should be very normal and just fine for him to just like the legos and the cars. He should be made to feel safe, secure and loved by his teachers, and at some point he will branch out to become more participatory and more social. I think it is normal for kids a little on the reluctant side to not want to go back to preschool after a long break, but I wouldn't let him drop preschool altogether. I would question if THIS school program is the right fit if it is too many days or hours in the week and/or if the teachers expectations for him are too high and you don't think the teachers have a loving, embracing attitude towards him.

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.