3 Year Old Bad Language

Hi B.,

Sounds like you've got a LOT of fantastic ideas about how to curb your child's new found use of a certain expletive. I personlly love the idea about reinforcing your child's desire to call on God in certain circumstances, and focus on that, rather than the d*** part because that itself will dissipate on it's own.

As a nanny for years (long before I had my own daughter who is now two and starting to repeat EVERYTHING very clearly now) I often had to find alternate ways to convince other's children that some words were not appropriate for saying where others can hear them (like potty words belong in the bathroom, for example, where only the child can go by him/herself and say them all they want with the door closed)... it gets boring very fast, and after two or three lonely trips to the bathroom, the potty word games stopped... Maybe it would be appropriate too, to let him know he can say those words only under some circumstances, but not others...

Personally - not intending to cause a stir - but washing a child's mouth out with soap is antiquated and may *work* but so does equally harsh punishment. Only soap is also toxic (there's a reason it says 'do not ingest' on the bottle. I understand moms looking for 'tried and true' methods that work, but goodness knows I hope this is one we give up! Not only does it taste unpleasant but it can cause a whole range of gastrointestinal issues that are not pleasant for our beloved children (no matter how they speak). And again, as a nanny, I've had to find many alternate ways around these techniques, and there are things that work. It's just a matter of being respectful and creative!

Anyway, just my two cents! And good luck!!

I think there's a lot to be said for explaining the situation, and I really like the idea of using potty words in the bathroom. When my son is rude to me, I put white vinegar on a metal spoon and have him drink it. He always makes the "yuck" face, and I remind him that it hurts my feelings when he talks to me rudely. Also, vinegar isn't toxic.

In my opinion, children are like sponges and they also want to mirror everything you do. Perhaps you could tell him that it's "Oh My Gosh" instead of the other. Another idea is to tell him you've been naughty and stand your self in the corner when you say something bad.

Isn't it funny that of all things they hear us say, they pick out those bad ones! =0) My advice is to ignore it as much as you can. When you don't even look at him or acknowledge that he even spoke...he'll decide it's not worth it and forget about it. With my daughter (who's 4), if she ever says a bad word, I'll tell her, "that's not a nice word and we don't say that". Then, I'll tell her another word she can say......like once, she said da#$ and I calmly said, "No ma'am we don't say that word, that's not a nice word............you can say darn". That seems to work well with her. But, if he's too little to understand all that talk, I would just ignore the heck out of him when he says it. Good luck!

I went through a similar situation when my children were smaller...but they picked up the "ugly language" from their grandparents house. When I first heard it I could not punish them because I knew they were only "repeating" what they had heard but like you said once they knew it was wrong and was just doing it to get a rise out of me I let them know that if they said it one more time I was going to wash their mouths out with soap. So the next time I did just that. I soaped up a washcloth and stuck it in their mouths and made them hold it for a few seconds then I let them rinse their mouths out with water. They HATED the soap so they learned a good lesson. Now if they say anything rude to anyone or call each other names I can threaten to wash their mouths and they stop right away!
Good Luck with what ever you try!!

My son did the same thing, repeated me cussin after i broke a dish. It was so embarrasing when he said it in the grocery store! But it's something kids do, and there really isn't much you can do to stop it; they're gonna hear it eventually and they will repeat them.
After my son cursed in the grocery store, I talked to him very carefully in the car about what words are appropriate and what aren't. He was 3 at the time and he understood. Since then, he hasn't said that word, but others he has repeated, and again I tell him that word is not appropriate for anyone to say.
I have to catch myself cause I have the mouth of a sailor. My language has improved alot and I have "created" new and funny words to say instead of swearing. And my kids love it!! They think it's funny when mommy "swears" in funny ways. I hope this helps!

First you need to find out the source that he is hearing this lanuage. Even though you and your husband don't use this kind of lanuage, he is hearing it somewhere.

You need to decide what kind of punishment you will use when he uses bad lanuage. First he needs to be told that kind of lanuage is not allowed. If he continues then take something from him that he really loves. If that doesn't work try wiping soap on his tongue.

Good luck

Do not use soap in the mouth for a two year old. That seems overkill to me. My son heard my father say a bad word, and he repeated it over and over again. If you just ignore it, it will stop. When he says it, focus his attention on something else. This too shall pass. My favorite phrase. But, soap in the mouth should be reserved for intentional mean things coming from the mouth. Some people focus so much on language, and not enough on how the child treats people. Remember it is very easy to be mean...REALLY mean to someone without using any bad words at all. Unless your child is being mean, I would not hit the panic button.

ignore it, he will see its not getting a reaction any more and let it go. my four year old did the same thing at that age

Hello, my name is S.. I can't tell you that i know exactly how you feel, but i figure if your child can repeat what he hears that distinctly then maybe try repeating another couple of words famaliar to him. Example:gd>>>....gosh, ship, just use common words that will direct him in future schooling. Good luck and hope my advice helps...

That is tough one...especially if it gets a rise out of you. First ignore it...even if you have to walk out of the room. Don't even act like he said anything. And find a new phrase, something he might find fun and start saying it. He might like saying that instead especially if he is getting no reaction for the other phrase. Maybe something like oh sugar! or oh snap! or maybe a favorite cartoon character like oh diego! Kids find the silliest things humorous. Good luck and hopefully he will quit saying it soon!

I have a 2 year old daughter & a 3 year old son. BOth have heard me say things I shouldn't and repeated it. First, apologize to your son and explain that what you said was bad and it shouldn't be repeated. If he starts saying it again, explain to him that those words aren't nice to say and good boys shouldn't say them. If he says it again, Put him the corner and explain why you are putting him there (saying bad words that aren't nice). Then let him know, he can leave the corner once he apologizes for saying the bad words. This works with my children. Sometimes they can test you, but you just have to stay consistent. You wouldn't want him repeating these words around other people.

Hi B., I have to say that I totally disagree with ignoring his words. He is 3, he can understand you telling him that the word is not ok, and you didn't mean to say it either. Once you explain that is itn't ok, and mommy was scared and it came out, ect. Tell him there will be a consequence for saying it again. What ever punishment you use for any other trouble he may get into. We parents seem to think that are kids don't get it or understand because they are little......but they do. They also usually want to make mommy happy, so letting him know you are not happy with him saying GD is a good way to go.
Good luck
T.

Hi B.. I have a 2 and a 4 year old and when they use bad language I dismiss it. Once they realized I wasn't overly excited or paying any attention to it they stopped.

Don't panic...it's a normal path he is taking. The good news is that when he heard you ask for God's help, he internalized that as something he should do when he's in distress too. Even at 3, he's able to understand a bit of logic. You probably scared him a bit with your fear when you used it. You can tell him that you were afraid and you used God's name. Ask him if he can think of another word to use when he is in pain...stress that it's ok to call on God for even small things, but with things like blisters, he might want to just tell someone it hurts. Every time he uses "God" in distress, acknowledge that he is distressed and gently replant something else. All you are trying to do is mold how and when he calls on God a bit. It's a short term problem...sort of like finding your feet for the first time and you can't stop holding them. It's new and it soon will subside. It will subside faster if you stay calm and don't make a big deal of it.

Consistently telling your child those are words he may not use, as well as not over reacting when he does will help. I have two sons who are much older. I can well remember when they were at the appropriate age (older than 3) and they would use bad language, telling them that we were going to wash those bad words out of their mouth. I made them wash their mouth out with soap. One of my sons got his toothbrush and used liquid soap. As young kids do, he failed to rinse it out all the way. I had to watch the next time he brushed his teeth. He really watched his mouth after that.

We as parents should stop and think ahead as to what we say and how we say it. Our children do have a tendency to repeat after us, and HEY afterall we are to be the example. I definately would stop and talk to him and tell him that this is a BAD word and that you were wrong in saying it, and that he should not say it. A scolding at this point would be the wrong thing to do.
THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED! I do apologize for the other post. I never meant to be lecturing as I was told I had been. I just hate hearing this said, it breaks my heart for our Lord who gave so much for us. I have grandchildren and they too let words slip that they hear from their Mom and Dad. (I don't think they have said the GD thing, as of yet) I try to talk to them about Jesus and how He feels when they says those things.
Please accept my apologies.
God bless,
R.

The best thing to do when your child does something like this is to ignore him. I know that sounds easy to do (not really!) but it the best way to stop the behavior. Right now when he says it, you respond and he likes that attention. If you simply act as if you didn't hear anything, it gets boring. But beware, he will probably say it more for a few times when he fails to get you riled up. He will probably say it and make sure that you heard him. Just say I heard you, casually and move on to the next topic.

It sounds as if he is trying to get a reaction out of you by saying it. Any attention to a three year old is better than no attention at all. I would suggest that you accentuate the positive behavior, and ignore the bad behavior. And by ignore, I mean give the same reaction every time (ie sent to time out. Once he figures out that bad words equals time out, and nothing else, he will find something else to get your attention. This isn't an overnight fix, but if you are consistant, you will see dramatic results. Hope this helps!

because you don't use that language on a regular basis, when your son heard it it was new. and because you were frantic when you said it, he may have even thought it was very interesting, funny, or special. just talk to him. tell him that it is not really a nice thing to say, and that you are sorry that you said it. tell him that you should have found a better word to say. he is three, he probably understands way more than you are giving him credit for.

Hi B., I raised 4 children and now am raising 2 grandsons that are 9 and 10 years old, They have tested me with bad language, I came up with catchy phrases like oh snap, and used that phrase myself. when the kids started using the phrases I was using I would make a big scene out of it and laugh at them. They really like the attention and thats really what they are looking for anyway. I hope this helps.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. My 3 year old says stuff like "Let me out of my room, dammit" when she's in trouble. She hears it when I'm driving, I think. She's not going to be scarred for life or anything. Just don't respond when your son says it. And give yourself a break!

Don't let him know it brothers you. Ignore him and the problem
should go away.