3 Month Old- Still Hasn't Discovered Her Hands and HATES Tummy Time

She is three months old. She will crawl when she is ready, and that is months and months away. I am mom of four and ALL four hated being on their tummies. Why do you feel "tummy time" is important? It isn't. Stop worrying, stop reading baby books, stop the tummy time, stop judging her development and ENJOY YOUR BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL!!! She will grow up soon enough.

1 mom found this helpful

Tummy time is a bear to start, but it gets easier. And then other life mastery skills come into view and you get to coach and cheer for those too. Our sour, little, protesting grouches become capable and usually don't appreciate it until afterwards. Getting them to eat their veggies isn't far away, getting them to look for cars on both sides of the street is ahead. There are many essential life lessons for long term happiness they will protest having to learn, yet a child that has acquired some wisdom because their parent invested the love to get them there is a child who will do better in life because they have the necessary life skills.

Compare this to a child who is pacified with TV, with what ever they want, no boundaries, no standards, and (hold on, this is the scariest part) eventually a martyr of a short-fuzed mother who flounders between pleasing and extracting heavy emotional payments. Be careful of the temptation to create a false world where everything is perfect, forgiveness is never required, and one where mommy makes everything all better all the time. It is a recipe for turning into a horrible witch!

The way out of that snare is establishing the internal caliber a mother needs to teach self-reliance at the appropriate stages.

Little steps like teaching your baby to sleep through the night and giving them tummy time are the first litmus tests, so to speak, to see where our nurturing skills are. If you need your child to agree with the lesson before you teach them, and a lot of parents end up doing that because their own tempers and coping skills are undeveloped, your child will step by step fall behind in the development they could be experiencing. There is no race, yet there is great joy in self-mastery.

Remember, you are developing joy and your baby is going to protest it. It is hard to leave a comfort zone, but if it is done with love and confidence, your baby will learn to love to grow. For example, at 6 weeks REM sleep is something a baby's brain becomes capable of doing. Knowing that helps a lot in coaching a baby to make the essential associations in their mind that leads to graceful transitions to sleep. Your child also learns to read through a process of association to language. Often times they fight this too. They will have concerns. If you make yourself someone who can lead people to resolving their own concerns, you will be a very effective mothering influence.

The best book I can suggest on this topic is I Don't Have To Make Everything All Better by Gary and Joy Lundberg. It is excellent reading!

1 mom found this helpful

T.,

I am a first time mommy too with an almost 7 mo old daughter. She wasn't all that interested in her hands until she was about 4 months old and until recently she hated tummy time as well. It might be that her upper body isn't quite developed so she feels trapped in that position. I bought a small bolster pillow to prop under her armpits to get her a bit more upright which helped a bit (a few more minutes). It's my understanding that most babies are not going to really play with their hands and feet until they are about 5 months old. I went on babycenter.com to get a listing on milestomes which helped calm my fears a bit.

M. P

I wouldnt worry at all!!! Your daughter is perfect and I strongly disagree with anyone saying that a baby HAS to have tummy time to crawl.It is simply not true. My son at that age hated tummy time. We would put him on his belly and he would cry. (He had gas and it was uncomfortable we realized later)When i was worried about it ALL my friends (and we are a group of midwives, doulas and Dr.) ALL said "if he doesnt like it dont do it! He will learn to crawl." So, if you still feel she needs tummy time, let some time pass, give her a few seconds of "tummy time" when she is fully awake and full of energy, like after a nap or something..and dont leave her there to cry, it is supposed to be an experience she wants to repeat. Let me put it this way, how many adults do you see still crawling or never learning to walk or use their hands? LOL She, at 3 months, is still getting used to the fact she is not inside you and that there is a whole world around her that is coming into focus (literally)and she is exploring the way she feels most comfortable with. That little girl has a lot on her plate right now..seeing mommie and daddys faces and learning what you look like, smell like, taste like...that there is a day and night, light and dark, different sounds, etc. That is A LOT!!!! As for not finding her hands, neither did my son and he finally did a few months later and now at 13 months he is walking everywhere, doing the itsty bitsy spider thing (his version) and is technically ahead of most milestones. I am a first time mom too and I finally decided to just let him develop as HE is ready. I always offer a challenge but dont push it if he is not into it. I will go back to it a few weeks later. I would say that he really started using his hands around 4-5 months. I found one of those baby gyms and would put him under it a few times a day for as long as he wanted to be there. Shortly, it was one of his favortie places to play, he would grab all the toys (after I had showed him how much fun that was)..and he learned to roll over and use his hands and had "tummy time" there when he was ready. Oh, I also used my breastfeeding pillow to prop his chest and arms up a little and he seemed to tolerate that more than just lying flat on the floor on his chest. Good luck and hang in there! Just remember, she has her own journey to make and she will make all the milestones, just not according to books or other moms kids timing, she will do it on her timing and that is just fine. Sounds like you are being a great mom being worried about this but try to let some of the pressure go. You are a great mom!!! Assuming she is a perfectly healthy little girl, she is going to develop just fine and (in my opinion)a parents job is to make the world around their child a safe and loving space so that the child can develop at a pace that is not only comfortable for them but also gives them confidence. So relax, enjoy the fact that she hasnt found her hands quite yet cause when she does then everything starts going in the mouth or is being grabbed and that is a totally new monster to deal with...lol. Enjoy that precious little girl, it goes so fast and before you know it she will be getting into your make-up!!!!

My 3 month old is having the same issues. You are not alone. I also know that a few of my friends babies hated tummy time and you just keep trying. Eventually they will understand that it's not that bad. My daughter also only eats her hands and that is fine too. They know they are there and eventually they will realize that they do others things too! I know how hard it can be with the first baby, but she will do things in her own time and very soon you will be amazed at how quickly she has grown up! Our son is almost two and we can't believe the difference just 18 months makes at this stage of life! We watch his old videos and remember how excited we were when he rolled over. Now I want him to sit still for just a minute :)

she does not need tummy time in order to crawl. my son hated tummy time and was walking at 9 months. He would roll over on his tummy then cry because he hated it but he still learned to walk and crawl early so don't sweat it. Beside you really don't want them to crawl and walk yet cause once they get a movin they don't stop!

Hi, T., I'm a grandma to nine and a parent to three. My last grandchild was born in december. He did not like being on his belly and when he was on his back he'd freak -out and throw his arms stiff to his sides when we changed his diaper. He was saying {i think} there is so much space out there, and a little scary, so I'll just make sure the stuff I'm laying on is still here. It took him awhile to like his tummy time but we didn't force it. One of the other grandbabies slept on his back, and never did tummy time when he was awake, and one nite when I had him he rolled over on his tummy in his sleep!
After a while I got worried because he had never done this, and rolled him back on his back, a few minutes later he again( while sleeping) rolled on his tummy. We did this a couple more times and I figuered out he must have gotten so tired of being on his back all the time. From then on this little boy made it real clear whether it was tummy time or back time. Both successfully roll about and the older one walks and climbs all over the place. As far as hands go, I would put bright socks on the baby's hands and play patty cake. Then I found these cool little rattles that go on their wrists and ankles. I kept moving them around. sometimes feet sometimes hands, sometimes left foot and right hand and reverse! we had a great time. I thought the rattle sound {though gentle} would startle him, but he really liked it. Sometimes so much that he would cross his eyes looking at hands and feet! Your baby will do things in her time. Just remind the doctor of what she currently does and let them know. They will let you know if there is anything to worry about. So relax and enjoy her being so young and new. They grow up so fast you can hardly believe it. Have fun, and congratulations on the greatest blessing in life! grandma emma

Hello T.,

I don't know about the hands thing, but I do know about Tummy Time. My son hated tummy time as well. I started him off right away for just a few minutes everyday. It didn't matter what I did, he just screamed. So, I decided that he is his own person and when he is ready.

At 6mns I tried tummy time again for just 30secs, couldn't even do that. So, I let it go since he was so advanced in the educational side. He was a big baby, still is. Big in meaning he will be 3 next month and his 40lbs and 41inches, so I have a big kid and I've been told that bigger kids take longer to crawl, walk, etc when it come to the physical milestones.

So, I didn't worry to much. One month before he turned 1 he decided to crawl. Started off on the army crawl for about 2 days, then the regular all four crawl for about another 2-3 days, then he was pulling himself up and cruising around for about a week and then he was off. The greatest thing when he took off, my husband and my parents were hear to see it, it was wonderful!!!

So, all I can say is talk to your doctor about the hands and don't worry to much about the tummy time. Although, I would mention tummy time to your doc.

Best of Luck,
M.

I totally understand your problem with the tummy time. But please learn from my mistake. I did not do enough tummy work and my baby developed a flat head. Now we are literally holding him up during all waking hours. It's exhausting to keep a six month old off his back 24 hours a day. I bought a big exercise ball and made a game with it. I also bought a Bobby pillow and a noggin nest. She will eventually learn to like it. I don't know anything about the hands. But I know the best advise book is the one from the American Association of Pediatrics. I follow the advice in there.

T., my now 3 year old really hated tummy time, too! She was 4 months and still screaming her head off when I put her down. I just kept trying it, a little longer each time, and she eventually got over it. It was probably when she started reaching for things around her that she got distracted enough to realize tummy time wasn't so bad. I don't remember exactly how old she was when she took interest in her hands, but it must've been about 4 months. Just wanted to reassure you that your baby is probably doing great. My daughter is healthy and happy 3 years later! Don't stress too much:)

Lay on the floor at her level, put mirrors or black & white toys under her face so she can see them. Lay her in front of a mirrored closet door too. Or, my son loved being on top of a ball either the regular kid kind or the adult exercise ones put them up higher so they can see more and are happier. They get stronger with that too. As you hold on to their back and slowly move the ball around they're using their arms and abs. About the hands, just keep offering her experiences and she'll get there. With all 'milestones' it feels like your baby is 'slow', but they all do it in time.

Have you talked to the pediatrician about the hands? Also, she's pretty young still so her not wanting to spend much time on the tummy sounds right. I would think in the next month or two she might be okay with the tummy.

Don't even worry about it - give her time, she will do these things in her own time... which could be a month or more behind where she "should" be. You'd be shocked at the real time table for what is normal baby development, they don't all have to be developing within a month of what the books say to be ok (ex: most babies walk around 12 mo, but having a baby who doesn't walk until 18 mo is still within normal range). Don't make her lay on her tummy and scream, just give her 20 seconds of tummy time several times a day, and it will eventually get longer as she gets older and more tolerant... and try not to worry (impossible for a first time mom, I know), just enjoy where she is at the moment, evetually she will crawl and you'll wonder why you were so eager to get her moving!!

My DD hated tummy time as well for the first few months of her life. I never pushed the issue if she fussed and she came around at 4 months to LOVE tummy time and even became a tummy sleeper. Now at 6 months, she has been rolling both ways for 2 months and is crawling already. I wouldn't worry about it. All babies are different and develop at their own pace. I also worried about the hands issue, but my daughter ended up finding them around 4 months and is doing just fine now. You will look back in a few months and forget it was ever an issue.

I have a 3 month old too - he hasn't grabbed at toys with his hands either. Instead he sometimes kind of lunges towards them with his head if he's sitting upright. If he's lying down, he just looks at them. I wouldn't worry about it too much yet!

As for tummy time, my baby also disliked tummy time, but then I discovered that he liked it a lot better when I draped him over a Boppy pillow (chest on Boppy, arms over the Boppy). It props him up so that he can look around and it's a lot more comfortable for him. He has improved steadily and now he can go for 10 minutes without getting fussy. So give the Boppy a try if you haven't done so already.

I would'nt worry about the tummy time-put her on a bolster or wedge and see if she like that better. It may cause her stomach distress and that may be the reason she does not like it.
It is unusual about her hands, by this time babies are reaching for rattles and such. Does she smile at you and indicate she can see you, or follow you around the room? If it is bothering you get her checked by your regional center, it could be a number of things. I don't want to scare you but I work with the visually impaired 0-3 as an infant specialist and you may want to do some small tests at home to make sure she can see(she may not know there is anything to reach for) hold shiney objects at different places in her visual field and she if she looks at them or turns her head towards them. Also it may be as simple as she just has not discovered what her hands are for yet but if it continues have her evaluated, it could be many things and if something is wrong, early intervention is the best medicine.
Best of luck-If you think she has a visual impairment or have any other questions send me an e-mail.

Please don't worry, mommy! Your baby is perfect! There is such a huge range of "normal" development. I worried about everything as a first time mommy, but I'm learning not to worry so much now (my boys are 3 and 2). I don't think my babies grasped at things at only 3 months, I think it was more like 5 months, or more. My babies were advanced in some ways (they both could hold their head up since birth), but were somewhat "late" in other things. My first crawled at 8 months, my second didn't even start scooching along on his belly until 9 months, then on his hands and knees at a year. But they both walked at 15 months, and I think they are absolutely perfect. Both are very active, agile and physically adept, no matter how "late" they achieved these milestones as babies.
I used to put a small rattle in my baby's grasp. They would hold it for a bit, but not really know it was there. It was really cute to watch them discover this thing in their hand over a few months.
For tummy time, try rolling up a towel and placing it under her chest and armpits. My babies hated tummy time before they could push up straight on their arms. And even then they only like a little bit at a time. The towel under the chest helped though, because they were able to look around a little better and practice the motions of using their arms to push up. It takes a while, though. If she won't tolerate it at all, try distracting her by giving her things to look at, or get down on the floor with her and talk to her. Do what you can, but be content with whatever she is ready for - if it is only a minute, so be it. She will gradually develop strength (it feels like forever at this age, but it is really happening very fast when you look at the big scheme of things). I wouldn't purposely let her cry because I think at that point, the tummy time is no longer productive. Sure, she might kfetch a little, but if she's crying, she isn't going to get anything out of it.
Don't stress or worry if she seems to be behind. You can always talk to her doctor at her well-child visits, but she will develop at her own rate, just as she is a unique person, and she is perfect just the way she is.

OMG! she is perfectly fine! She has all the developments that most babies her age are doing anyway. She is barely 3 months..You are tooo funny!

Every baby is different! The tummy time thing have patients. Not all kids like to be on their tummy. Try it once a week to see how she likes it. She will start to roll over by herself and learn to like it. Or you could lay on the floor and put her tummy to tummy with you. Maybe that would be more comfy for her??
As for the arms, i would call and ask my doctor. Use your mommy intuition, and no question is dumb unless not asked.
You know your little girl better than anyone. So if you are concerned about something don't be afraid to call the doctor and at least talk to the nurse, tell her your concern and they will let you know if it is something the doctor should see you about.
Take care,
B.

A typical baby doesn't reach for toys until 4 months old. Several brief (3-5 min) tummy times throughout the day is enough for now. Don't leave her there to cry.

Hi T.,
My son hated tummy time as well. The Dr.'s told me to leave him there for at least a minute each time (10 times a day) and then slowly build up. Eventually he got to the point where he was doing 15-20 minutes at a time. I know its hard to listen to them cry but it was something I had to do so he would eventually learn to crawl.

hi T.,

my baby girl was exactly the same way! she is 14 mos now but at 3 mos she kept her hands in tight little fists and wouldn't open them up or grab at anything. and, like your baby, her little legs were constantly going. i was worried myself that she wasn't developing correctly, (as i am a first time mom myself) but i kept the baby gym in front of her and changed the toys on it every couple of days to keep variety going and hopefully create interest. eventually she opened up her fists and had mastered grabbing by 6 mos. the tummy time was a nightmare as well. she would cry every time. it broke my heart! we wouldn't keep her on her tummy long, but we kept putting her on it 3 to 5 times a day and, of course, eventually she learned to love it, well, maybe just accept it. heh. anyway, she was a late crawler, didn't start moving around until about 9 almost 10 mos, but an early walker. She started standing at 11 mos and could walk strong at 12 1/2 mos. so the point of my story is don't worry! i know that's easier said than done, as i was in your shoes, but just be consistant and she'll get the hang of it... when she decides she wants too. i hope this helps! good luck!

S. h

You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Both of my kids HATED tummy time and still crawled "on-time" - just keep trying a little bit each day (we didn't even do it every day). I don't know about the hands thing, but I wouldn't worry about that either. Good luck :)

Hi T.! My kids hated tummy time too. So we didn't do it and they both crawled anyway. My son was crawling very early and standing and cruising by 7 months. As far as I'm concerned, that's pretty early and not having tummy time didn't bother him (or me) one little bit. My daughter started a little later but was still walking at 13 months, both normal developmental timelines.

My kids learned to crawl from a SITTING position, not from their tummies. I have a friend who is wracking her brain because she puts her little one (almost a year old now!) on her tummy every day but she still won't crawl. My niece, who is two weeks younger than my son, still hasn't crawled yet and she is fourteen months (although it might have something to do with a lack of opportunity because she goes to day care)!

The point is, all kids are different. What worked for some may not work for others. Maybe your child hates tummy time because she doesn't need it. I disagree that forcing it will make her crawl. As long as she has plenty of opportunity (being on the floor and maybe enticing her with a toy or something just out of reach) and the desire to do it, that may be all she needs.

Don't worry!

Dear T.,

I'm the worrying type too, so I know what it feels like!

I don't know about the hands, so I would ask your pediatrician if you are concerned.

As far as tummy time, my daughter (now 10 mos) hated it and I never forced it so she hardly had any. But since we held her a lot she learned to hold her head up well. She started rolling around 5 months and sat on her own at 6 months. At 8 months she started trying to crawl, which is on the later side, but she's doing it at her own pace and loves it. Now she makes the decision whether to be on her tummy or not. I think your baby will naturally desire to move around and will develop the muscles needed as long as you follow her lead and let her play and explore as she desires.

Have you thought of taking her to a Chiropractor, one that practices kienesiology (studies the muscle, nerves, organs)? I would try that first. Then a regular pediatric dr.

Here's some links:
http://www.yourbabytoday.com/giantfood/features/dev_three...
http://www.thenewparentsguide.com/baby-development-month-...
http://www.babycenter.com/0_milestone-chart-1-to-6-months...

If anything, just ask your Pediatrician for any concerns you have.

All the best,
~Susan

Relax, one of my sons really never did at all....and didn't crawl until 2 weeks before he walked. He's so intelligent an has no neurological issues, so no worries. My now 3.5 month old JUST found her hands 2 days ago. They are all different.

Some babies do cry and hate the tummy. I have found that if not put on tummy daily they tend to crawl very late or skip it at all. Just keep doing it daily adding a little more time gradually. Try to talk to her and show her toys and lay on your belly to be at her level. As for her hands I think you should ask your doctor so you can have some peace of mind. Good luck

Hi T.,

Both my babies (now ten and six) hated tummy time too. And, so does my nephew ( 9 months ). I think part of the reason is that babies are back sleepers now and being on the tummy is uncomfortable because they are not used to it. I would force the issue.

My nephew just now started to crawl. He became comfortable with being on his tummy after learning to roll over.

Neither my son or daughter were big crawlers. My son crawled backwards and my daughter sort of scooted. They gave it up soon and turned to walking. My boy at 11 months and my girl at nine months (Easter sunday egg hunt!).

I wouldn't worry about her noticing her arms right now either. If she loves her feet get the sock rattles and let her explore. Eventually she will get to her hands too.

If you can't get it off your mind talk to the doc at your next appointment. But, I think she is perfectly fine.

Don't worry about her, she will be grabbing toysin no time. It might take up tp 4.5 months. My daughter is now almost six months and it all comes in time. As far as tummy time, i know we had to put our daughter on our chest sometimes when she got fussy.

Hello! I just wanted to comment about the tummy time. I don't think you should make her do it if she doesn't like it. My daughter HATED tummy time and so we stopped doing it (she also would spit up) and eventually she wanted to do it on her on but not until about 7 months. I know this sounds very late but now she is 18 months and very advanced. She also didn't crawl until 8 1/2 months (I think because she didn't have enough tummy time) but she was walking well by 10 months! I was worried and now I look back and think I was crazy with all of these things they were "suppose" to do. Anyway, good luck and I hope this helps.
Jen

Try putting her down on a boppy pillow, or something similar. This will prop her up at an angle, so she can see around her, but still be on her tummy. She can lay her head down when it is tired without being face down on the ground. She may not like being straight face down on the ground. She may not be old enough to hold her head up well and the strain on her neck may make her uncomfortable. Or the fact that she cant see things around may scare her. If that doesnt work, I say to wait a while. She may just not be ready. She will flip over onto her stomach soon enough. And I wouldn't worry about the fact that she doesnt grab or chew on toys, my son NEVER chewed on anything....never chewed on his fingers either...and I was worried, but the doctor said that not all babies do. He is 2 now, and chews on his hand like crazy and he isn't even teething. He never liked tummy time either, but as soon as he wanted to crawl around, he flipped over and tried to pull himself around. Give her plenty of time on the floor with toys just out of her reach and the temptation to get to them will make her do what she needs to once she is developmentally ready. Just be patient, she will do what she needs to when the time is right. If it seems that she is really missing those milestones by quite a few months, talk to the doctor, he/she can reassure you.

She is totally normal. Grabbing and holding for any length of time "on purpose" is a bit off. Don't worry. If you read, Dear Parent by Magda Gerber (or visit RIE.org) you might feel better. RIE parenting does not encourage placing children in positions they cannot get into themselves. The most relaxed natural state a child can be in is on his back. You will see that many children who are older and can roll over both ways will still prefer this time on their back as they can ultimately grab and hold things and observe them. Even you will find 2-year-olds who can walk and climb still relaxing on their backs...come to think of it I know a few 40+ year olds who do the same thing!:) Your child WILL learn to crawl without tummy time. It is a natural process. Children innately know to take the next step as their awareness grows and as they are ready. You don't need to help your child with this. Your child will do it naturally.
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My 7 month old hated tummy time as well. Like your baby he would scream and scream when we tried it. It took forever to calm him back down. We stopped doing tummy time for the most part, sometimes we'd lay him on his tummy but if he started crying we'd pick him up. I don't think it hurt his development at all. He can get up into a crawl stance and can cruise already. My older son who didn't mind tummy time and got a lot of it, didn't crawl until he was 10 months old. I don't think tummy time is as important as they make it out to be as long as your baby isn't just laying there all the time on her back.

My first son HATED tummy time. That's actually pretty typical of back to sleep babies from what I've heard. He's now 2 and a half and met all of his developmental milestones just fine(crawled at 6-7 months, walked at 10 months). We would put him on his tummy for short bits each day and he would get so mad he learned to roll over. :) Let her scream on her tummy for a little bit it won't hurt her.

As far as the hands thing- I would give it time- there is a wide range of development that is appropriate. My first son used to hold things with his feet and look at them with his hands but I think he was more 4 months before he did that. I have a 3 month old now and he's not grabbing toys to play with them much yet. He'll occasionally get one in his grip but it is more accidental. He loves kicking around too and sucks on his fist like crazy. He will grab shirts and blankets and seems to enjoy that. Anyway- no worries- she'll figure it out.

Hi T.,

My son also hated tummy time - it didn't take even close to 20 seconds for him to start screaming! My pediatrician told me just to make him suffer through it, 10 minutes 3 times a day. It was tough, but now he's fine with it. Eventually, if you do that, your daughter will learn to roll over and then whether she stays on her tummy or not will be up to her.

Hope that helps!

Hi T., I am glad you wrote in, My first baby ( now 24 )
at 3 months didn't try and pick up toys either, on his back he would move his hands around and of course put them in his mouth lke all babies, so one day during his regular well baby check ups the ped asked me, a question about his motor skills and far as reaching for things, like a rattle, being a first time mom I said I haven't given him a ratle yet cayuse i was afraid he would hit himself with it (dumb huh ) so the ped held a rattle in from of him to see what he would do and of course he didn't reach for it, thanks to me, so the ped put the rattle in his right hand, and of course he dropped it, then the ped put it back in his hand, and help his hand where he couldn't drop it and shook it so it would make noise, so he held it a couple seconds, anyways I as told to put rattles and thing and small toys and place them in his hand several times a day, and it worked, but the other problem like your baby is my son hated being on the floor, so make a long story short, like a new mom I kept picking him up, but what i didn't realize at the time i was hindering to cralw, to roll over and reach for toys shile playing, so at 8 months my son was not crawling, well my husband was wandering how come all our friends babies were crawling but ours, well one wekend when he was home the entire wekend ( Military ) he noticed I picked him up off the floor every time he cried, so he made me put him on the floor, and not picki him up as soon as started screeming, my husband would get in the floor with him put toys just out of his reach to frustrate him enough to try and cralw, and of course as a first time mom, I thought that was horrible, well with in 3 days he was crawling, we just had to put him on the floor and not give in. When the next 2 came i left them in the floor, cralwed at 6 months walked at 10 months, my first baby I forgot to tell you didn't walk untill he was 13 months, so you can see here how I hindered him, a lot, but he is now 24 and is very athelectic and is training for UFC ( cage fighting ) both my sons. Every mom's dream right? Hope this helps. J.

Hi T.,
First let me tell you, I am a 3rd time mommy. My oldest didnt get much tummy time. She hated it. And I was an inexperienced mommy, so I didnt cont. to try putting her on her tummy. Needless to say, she never rolled over until after she was cruising around. She started crawling late, at 8 months. Hated being on her knees, and pulled herself up and started walking. Walked on her own at 10 months and was running and climbing by her birthday. So, whether your baby gets tummy time or not, she will eventually crawl, maybe later then others. Now on my 3rd baby, now 4 months old, I put him on his tummy everyday. Just like your baby, he cried at first. But every day keep trying. Until he crys. When baby starts fussing, thats when you get them off their tummy. Dont leave your baby on her tummy when she is upset, then she will never learn to want to be on tummy. Dont give up. Try every day. Eventually she will be on her tummy little longer and so on. Now when I put my little guy on his back, he rolls onto his tummy. He prefers it that way. I think he likes the view he gets from that possition.
As far as the hands. Its funny that you wrote about this, because I was recently worried about the same thing! At 4 months , my little guy was not looking at his hands. He had done a lot of diff. things, but not interested in hands. I started researching through books and web sites. Got him a couple of new toys to look at in his hands so on.....
And just a couple of days ago, he noticed them. And he is noticing a lot more things around him too. It is like a light bulb went off in his head. Chances are the same thing will happen with your baby too. She still has some time. Like you said in your post, all babies develope differently. At her 4 month check up, go over all your concerns with your Dr.
I bet he will put your mind at ease.
Take care! And congrats on the new baby!
Heidi