3 And a Half Year Old Masterbating

Hello C.,

My now 5 year old daughter did this after her potty around the age of 3-4 - I used it as an opprotunity to talk to her about her private area and that it was only for her to touch and for mommy, daddy or a doctor to LOOK to make sure there was nothing wrong if she had an infection that itched. It was a great stepping stone to talk about being private, how important it is to our family. I also mentioned to her that she needed to wash her hands EVERY time she touched herself. I also told her that it was okay for her to touch herself, but that she may cause herself to become itchy because there is bacteria down there from her poop and if she touches her poop area by accident and then touches her vaginia, it could cause her to become itchy. Well, it happens that she wasn't wiping properly either and she did get an infection and that soon put a stop to HER touching once the itch was gone - I never told her she couldn't touch herself except when she did have the infection and I told her that touching would make it itch worse. She is a very private person in the toilet area and wouldn't let me help her wipe after a poop - so we soon found out she was wiping the wrong way.

Positively,
M.

4 moms found this helpful

If she has recently had antibiotics you might also check her for a yeast infection. That could be mistaken for masturbating. High blood sugar can also cause a yeast infection and as any woman knows all you want to do is scratch the itch! We don't of course because we have been taught otherwise, but at that young age, she doesn't know any better.

Kind regards,
T. Nelson CD

3 moms found this helpful

We found that the more we told our daughter it was not good to do the more she would do it! We just explained that it something that she needs to do in a private place with no one else around. We hardly ever see her do it anymore. I believe she just does it now when she is in bed but like I said we don't really see it now!

Best of luck I remember the moments when she did it around others and it is such an uneasy feeling!

Wanted to respond earlier - but had server problems.

Totally normal - I did it, one of my daughters did it - at school, in front of relatives, everywhere!!!

Keep telling her it is something she should do in private. Explain that some kids might not understand & make fun of her.
It may take a while to sink in.

You are doing the right thing by not punishing her for being human!!!!

Who decided it is normal? You? If you think it is, then what is the problem? Is it normal for kids to explore themselves and/or each other?

Personally, I think that it is our responsibility to teach our children what is right and what is wrong, whether anyone else thinks it is normal or not. If we don't teach them that what is "normal" is not always right, then who will be teaching them? The relative or family friend who tells them that touching them in the private area is normal?

Hi C.,

I personally, would discourage it or it may consume them...my daughter scooted herself in the grocery cart and other chairs she was probable two yrs. or so. I simply told "no" that's not right, don't do that. I told her no because she is too young to even understand physically and I didn't want it to become a habit. I decided what behavior was important to me. Being consistant stopped it. Think about what it can lead to at such a young age....

I would mostly be concerned about how she learned what it was...

She may have an irritation, make sure the next time that she is thoroughly clean and if she still is masturbating, talk to her doctor.

wow, good advice. my son likes to play with his winkie so we have told him that the only time he can do that is in the bath and his bed. it is kind of a comfort thing as he also plays with his nipples as he is falling asleep. he often is found sleeping with one hand on a nipple and one in his britches! =-) we do keep telling him to take his hand out of his britches, but it is usually when he is tired and not always in public. good luck!