My son is 3 1/2 and was potty trained for about 6 weeks. In the last couple months, he has been pooping at naptime, nightime, or early in the morning while he is still in bed. He was doing this before we started potty training when he was still in diapers so this has been going on for about a year now. He does poop on the potty during the day most days. The problem is that he tends to go 2-3 times a day so I never know if he needs to go more. He has never woken up with a dry diaper so I can't have him sleep in underwear. He was in underwear for a few weeks at naptime and that didn't seem to stop him from pooping. We have gone back to pull-ups because I can't handle that mess every day. We have tried taking away toys and telling him he can't go to swim lessons ect, but it doesn't seem to have enough of an impact to make him stop. We have also tried ignoring it and just cleaning him up and telling him he has to take a sticker off his chart but that doesn't seem to work either.
He also sometimes will sleep in the poop which results in a very raw bottom and then he will stick his hand in his pants because it itches and then wipe it either on his wall or his sheets.....HELP!!!
Thanks for all the advice. I guess I forgot to mention that he does sit on the potty every day before nap and before bedtime. And he alternates between telling me he doesn't have to go and then going in his diaper or going some and then finishing the job once he is in bed. I realize that sometimes he may not wake up if he has to go early in the morning but sometimes he is sitting in bed talking to himself and then poops, so I do feel like he is able to use the toilet most of the time.
Try putting his potty chair by his bed (with a rubber mat or something else under it for "oops" protection. He may be too tired to get up. Give him a sticker for ever time he poops in the potty chair when he sleeps. Then when he's collected so many stickers, he get's a prize.
If his poop is very soft or somewhat runny he may be pooping involuntarily when he lies on his left side (the side that the descending colon is on). Punishment won't help as he may be having some severe digestive problem.
Take him to the doctor to see what else could be causing it. You may be punishing and shaming a child who has not way of controlling his poop. The consistency of his pooping lying down tells you that something is physiologically wrong.
Colon's can be formed in the womb with kinks in them so that all of the fecal matter doesn't descend at the same time. This might explain how lying down would produce a bowel movement.
Please stop punishing your child and get him to the doctor immediately.
Does your son sleep hard? My son sleeps so hard he sleep walks and wets his bed every night. The Dr. said it was just something he would have to out grow. I to started to punish him when he would sleep walk (before I realized he was sleep walking) but then realized it is not his fault. In fact it was making it worse. I to was a bed wetter and did it until I was 12. It might be something he will have to out grow.
Unless he is doing it on purpose, and you know that for a fact, he shouldn't be punished for it. First thing I would do is change his nap time to half hour later or earlier depending on if he is pooping soon after going to bed or right before getting up. Same with the night time, move his bedtime a half hour earlier and wake him up a half hour earlier if he is pooping in the morning. It might just be working with his body's clockwork. Another thing to check on is if he can't feel when he has to go unless it is to late. If it is odd poop, like sandy like, it could be a parasite, if he is itchy at times, he could have worms (common in children)
If it is for attention, have him help you clean him and his mess up. It might be messier doing that, but he won't like that very well. Also, give him a little more time after trying different things, some children have trouble until they are 4 or 5 years old. He is new to this potty trained stuff, only a month and half into it.
Oh, A.! I feel for you! It is so gross to deal with poop on hands, walls, and sheets! Just keep on keeping on, sweetie! It's a lot of work being a mom. Your son is doing great to be potty trained during the day, but it takes a lot longer for the night to come. My son just turned four in March and we just stopped using pull ups 2 weeks ago. I just finally told him that when the package was empty I was not buying anymore. He does have accidents, but not every night. I bought one of those mattress covers that can hold up to 6 cups of fluid that I can just pull off and wash seperately and then throw back on. This way I don't have to wash all the bedding every time he has an accident. He'll get it very soon. You'll probably still have to wash up the walls for a little while, but that's why your mother of the year award is in the mail, right? I don't think anyone, but another mom knows how hard it is at times though. Good luck to you! And one last thing, praise him, praise him, praise him when there is not a big mess and every time he is successful. That will help him get it sooner and hopefully keep him from regressing. You're doing great, A.!
My son just turned three and also only likes to poop in his diaper. He's pee-pee trained, and will periodically poop in the potty, but says its uncomfortable. We'll even be in bed, cuddling and he'll stand up (in diaper) and say "I'm pooping now" I've both suggested we move to the toilet and even forced him there, but he cried and locks up, so back into the diaper. I personally should be better about putting him on the potty before nap anyway. Point is, you're in good company.
As far a catching it and avoiding wall wiping, sometimes I'll open the door after 5 or 10 minutes and ask if he pooped in his diaper, and change him. I like the other's ideas of roll playing too, to help him remember to call you. And slather on the diaper rash stuff as a barrier. Also, maybe put him in a shirt with snap bottoms (they do come this big) so he has a harder time reaching in.
Good luck!!
From what you write, this doesn't sound like something he can control at all. His body hasn't matured enough.
I think all you can do at this point is make sure he tries to go potty before naps and bedtime. Maybe wake him up once at night to try and go--maybe right before you yourself go to bed for the night.
You can double--or even triple--sheet his bed so that when he gets poop on them, it's not big ordeal. Just strip off the top, dirty sheet, and there will be clean one underneath.
Hi A.,
I agree with the comments you have gotten encouraging you to talk with his pediatrician about this.
You might also want to consider setting up a reward system for your son when he tells you he has pooped instead of putting his hands in his pants. He will need some specific, gentle direction on what to do; you could even role play with him, with you being the child and him being the mommy or daddy. Pretend to wake from your nap and say "My pull-up feels funny. I think I pooped. I am going to call mom/dad to tell her/him." This will model for him what you want to happen.
Set up a sticker chart with a reward for telling you he is poopy and maybe he gets a second sticker for keeping his hands out of his pants. If he does make a mess, have him help you clean it up. Clean him up first, having him put the poopy clothes in the washer after helping you rinse them. Then maybe a quick bath (no toys, ths is business) and then back to the sheets to clean up. Maybe he could help move the clean things out of the way. Don't be angry; let him know this is just a natural consequence. "When poop gets on the sheets/walls, we have to clean it up." Also tell him "Now we have less time to play because we need to clean up the bed. When you tell Mommy your diaper is poopy and keep your hands out, then clean up is easy and we have more time to play. I like to play with you." Be sure to reward him with play when he does tell you. Even do a happy dance when he tells you. Jump up and down praising him for telling you. Try to be there when he wakes up from his nap for a while to help him remember to tell you. Once he gets the hang of it, maybe put a picture of yourself near his bed to remind him to call you and tell him "When you see this picture, ths can remind you to tell Mommy when you pooped and to keep your hands clean." This positive approach may help him see the benefits of telling you he is poopy vs. putting his hands in his pants.
The most important thing is staying calm and not punishing him. Reinforce the behavior you want with praise and excitement. Take a deep breath. Cleaning up poop is not fun. With a positive approach you will soon be working as a team!Let me know what happens!
Hi A.
At 3 1/2 your sons body is not ready to hold in his BM until he is awake. This is his bodys schdule to do his BM at sleep time. I as a mother of a daughter who has problems having a BM everyday. I would say don't let him associate any negitive feelings with haveing a BM. Just know that for awhile you will need to change a BM diaper after nap. He will eventually learn to go before bed. until then Good Luck :)T.
If he's only 3 1/2 and it only happens when he sleeps, his system probably just isn't mature enough yet. Use the pull-ups for those times and forget about it for a while. It's not a discipline issue. Maybe try again if he starts accidentally waking up clean and dry.
It's a long-shot, but there may be ways you could tweak his diet so he doesn't have to go so often. You might look into that if you think it's doable.
