K.S. asks from JBER, AK on December 20, 2007
3 1/2 Year Old Cry's at Everything HELP
My little girl crys and the drop of a dime about anything and everything. This started at the begining of the third trimest with my fourth child he was born in sept and things have not changed. we have tryied to keep her happy, motivated and spend quailty time with her but both my husband, and my older children are fed up with her whinning fits.. please help any advice you can give me to get her to calm down would be greatly appreciated
S.L. answers from Portland on December 21, 2007
Sounds like it COULD be a good time for homeopathic support for her, as she may be finding it hard to adjusting to her new dynamic role in the family. If you'd like some professional help with her, I am a naturopathic in Portland and do quite a bit of homeopathy with children.
S. LeVine, ND
D.D. answers from Seattle on December 21, 2007
You treat whining the same way as temper tantrums. You ignore them. You don't respond. You tell them, "when I hear what you want in a normal voice I will listen, otherwise Mommy doesn't understand what you are saying". For me, this is actually a true statement most of the time. I have trouble understanding my kids when they whine. But communicate that you will not listen until they stop. Then when they communicate regularly instead of whining, praise them.
M.L. answers from Seattle on December 21, 2007
Her personality may be much different than your other children. Does she try to talk over. Does she give commands and orders. Is she quick to make decisions? A little rough around the edges? She may like to have control over certain things. Give her responsibilities that you know that she can succeed at, and then stretch her to do things that may be a little more trying. But, she needs to be given tasks to do. And encouraged that she does it so well, and all by herself. I don't know everything about your daughter, but from the few words you spoke, this could prove to be very beneficial.
S.M. answers from Portland on December 20, 2007
we have this same problem.. but no baby... our second is a year behind her..
however.. i put up a reward chart and told her if she wines she doesn't get a sticker for the day.. But we also put up like ten or more other things for her to get stickers for. She stopped wining almost instantly!
J.M. answers from Seattle on December 20, 2007
Ignore the bad behavior. If you ignore it, she'll stop doing it. If you keep rewarding the behavior (by bending over backwards trying to make her happy), she has no incentive to stop.
You don't hear her when she cries (unless she's bleeding, of course). You can't hear her when she whines. She doesn't get a single thing if she's crying or whining. Period.
I watch a four year old one morning a week, and he started out whining and crying to get his way. I just calmly told him that I couldn't understand him when he was whining or crying and to come and find me when he could use his big boy voice. It took a few weeks, but it worked like a charm and his mom was stunned. She bent over backwards trying to cater to him and it just taught him that he would get lots of attention when he acted up.