3 1/2 Y/o Son Not in Daycare

That is wonderful that you have that support! I would suggest trying to set up some play dates with neighborhood children who are in his age range and just giving him time to get to know people his own age. The Children's Museum or a local park or Romp n Roll/Little Gym type class that may cost a little but not a lot that would give him the age appropriate social interaction would also be great. He sounds like he is doing just fine though and will definitely benefit from having all of the adult interaction that he is receiving now. Good luck!

Hi. Have you considered putting him in preschool? It doesn't have to be everyday or for the whole day. There are lots of two day programs out there from 9-12. It might just the thing he needs to get social with other kids. Or you can always try other classes/activities like My Gym, soccer, swimming, etc.

Good luck!

You can always do a mothers day out program, which is usually half day one to two days a week, and usually offered at local churches.

It will help teach him social skills with children, singing time, provide him with snacks, listening to adults teachers other than relatives, and prepare him for a classroom like setting.

here are some I found in your area:
http://www.westwood-baptist.org/
http://www.yelp.com/biz/st-christophers-pre-school-and-mo...
http://www.superpages.com/bp/Springfield-VA/Journey-at-Ce...

If you don't want to do that, then try and find a play group that meets weekly in your area, or take him to the park or a play area weekly. Libraries and museums usually have a kids meeting time, and there are activities like soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, nature groups, ymca. Just check around your area at what's available.

Also, some homeschool groups usually have little field trips, they may have info on places they go and such on their sites:
http://www.home-school.com/groups/VA.html

Every child thrives and enjoys different types of setting, so see what works for him.

oh you dont need daycare to be social....so please dont worry about that, I can go on about this but I wont. I am a SAHM, but i am hardly every home LOL> we are super busy w/ play dates ect... they are really good for not only your child but you too. I would look into your local library bc they have great free programs, you can also enroll him into a local class where you have to pay too like music, art, gymboree something like that, lastly I am a HUGE fan of meetup.com. I have my own group and we are so so super busy and as a result my daughter has some great friends and I do too!!! good luck.

Hi--We had a similar situation with our son who's never been in child care but we started getting him involved in activities when he was 18 months old. You've rec'd some great suggestions already but I would add a couple you might have in your area: at the YMCA (as someone mentioned) they have some cool stuff like ours has KidsSpace Movement in which they set up a lot of physical activities in the gym (mini-trampoline, slide, tunnel to crawl through, etc.) and they'd hear a story, blow bubbles, etc. It's probably too young for your son but they may have something similar and what I liked about it is parents stayed there so it helped me get comfortable b/c I was not used to leaving my son with anyone else.

The other program we started him in is kindermusik. You could look into whether you have that where you are. We have it at the local art academy (in a small town) and again, parents are included but the kids learn to interact. That experience gave us the confidence to start our son in that same art academy's pre-school program at age 2 just two mornings a week (without parents), which was perfect for him to work on socialization plus learning different things than we teach him. Finally, don't underestimate how much they learn just going to a park regularly--they must share, take turns, etc.--all valuable lessons!

I agree with other post, there are other ways to introduce him to other children other than daycare. You can also try a community center or children museum (I am not familiar with your area). Many of them have classes (dance, art, music). He may not play with other kids because he doesn't want to. My son is an introvert and even though he is in daycare and preschool, he still prefers to play alone most of the time.

Hi,

I can't help you with anything local, but my children are not in child care regularly, either. They were being watched by a friend with two young children (now three, so she doesn't watch them anymore) a few afternoons a week, but never more than 12 hours each week. My older one is very outgoing and sociable and loves people, my younger one takes longer to warm up. They are mostly home with daddy during the day and me in the evening. I just wanted you to be reassured that being in child care does not automatically make children sociable, and being out of care does not mean they will not do well with other kids. Even just a few days a week being in the park or at a local children's museum or library reading is good. Some community centers might have playgroups in your area though if you call around, or check with local rec centers.

My sister and her husband never used daycare for my nephew and he had some of the same difficulties as a young child. Be assured, he's nine now and has great social skills and lots of friends. You can sign of for a class at a local rec center. Fairfax County Rec is currently enrolling kids for the summer session. THey have classes during the week and on weekends. You can check it out on line. Just Google" "Parktakes". You can take him on a weekly play date with other kids his age. You can take him to local playgrounds where he will have to negotiate taking turns and sharing the equipment with kids of all ages. Great Question. Good Luck.

The problem with a lot of the public options is that they wouldn't be seeing the same kids on a regular basis and that would prevent them from learning about friendship and the challenges that go with that. Why not a compromise? Many daycare providers will open up a space for you in an odd spot they have like, for instance, one of their children misses every other Friday to go to Grandmas or another child has every Tuesday morning off. A few days per month in a small daycare with a few children he can be repeatedly exposed to would be ideal. It wouldn't cost much and the provider and kids will become just an extension of you and the rest of your support group.

I do quite a bit of this in my daycare since I'm open 7 days and many of my kids have days off during the week. My part-time children will come and be with at least some of the same kids each time. Since the days and nights change as far as who is here, I get to see how various children interact with each other. I have some love/hate relationships where they have to learn how to get a long. Some of the ones that have rubbed each other wrong at first have become best buds and they love being together aftter a few weeks.

how lovely that your family is so supportive, and that your son has this big loving family all there for him! there is no need to institutionalize children to teach them how to behave with other kids. poke around a bit and you will find plenty of play groups, casual get-togethers, more structured groups, programs at community colleges and museums, lots of venues where your son can hang out with other kids and get familiar with the interplay between young 'uns (hopefully without too many anxious parents hovering over them.) if you go to the park at the same time every week you'll meet and get to know other families that way too, organically.
you have such a great situation for your little boy, kudos to you for this!
khairete
S.

I worry about the same thing with my daughter who is turning 2 today. My mother lives with us and watches her during the day but I wanted her to interact with other kids her own age. So we signed her up for Little Gym and then switched (due to a recent move) to My Gym which is a 1 hour class once a week with other kids her age. She loves it and interacts with some of the kids and teachers and ignores the others. We have been looking into preschools for her to attend 2 days a week for a morning session but have not yet decided on one. We are not looking at them because we feel her education is lacking but simply for the social involvement. I am also keeping an eye out on other community classes - dance, art, etc that she will be old enough for in about 6 months. There are a lot of options out there and I am sure once you start looking you can find some options that fit your schedule and budget.

If he has cousins, invite them over for playdates. Then, seek out your friends or acquaintances from church who have children similar in age, and invite them to playdates at the playground. If you don't have a church home, you might want to join a MOPS group (Mothers of Preschoolers). The meetings are usually held in the evenings once a month and the Moms are encouraged to bring children if childcare is made available. Once you establish some friendships with moms who also have preschoolers, you can start planning playdates for your little guy. Gradually plan playdates at a neutral setting, like Chuck E Cheese or the library for storytime (every branch offers them during the day based on age level). I wouldn't rush him into a preschool environment just to get him socialized, especially if he's doing so well with his foundational skills already. In MD, DC and VA, there are lots of venues that can be explored with grandparents, Dad, and any other relatives willing to share the load. For instance, there are tot classes offered through your park and recreation department. I know the Lee RECenter in Alexandria offered great tot classes, like soccer and riding trikes. See if there are some programs offered near you, but don't commit until you've had a chance to see how he's been able to interact with his peers in a group setting that meets less frequently. There will be some stress initially, but once he gets used to it and has a great time, he'll appreciate a class. Make sure to find something that will be of interest to him and will be convenient and affordable. For instance, if you know your little guy loves the great outdoors, there is a great nature center that offers classes for preschoolers off Little River Turnpike in Annandale. Can't remember the name of it right off hand. Kudos on keeping up with his academics! Count yourself blessed to have such a great support system.

It's great that you have the option of not putting him in daycare now. However you should test the waters with a play group or something a couple of mornings a week. Unless you plan on home schooling him and even then he will eventually have to deal with other kids. My mother taught school for 40 years and she saw kids who had not been with other children before school go for some rough rides. In the "eat or be eaten" world of daycare the kids learn to be more independent and develop their social skills of interacting with each other. There are some options where the kids can spend some time in groups.

It was hard enough sending a day care "veteran" off to Kindergarten. He needs the social skills of meeting and playing with others.

When my son was small he hated parties and interacting with other kids even though he had daycare experience. His pediatrician had him evaluated for autism and it turned out he had severe dyslexia.

You have to deal with other people your whole life better start him now.

I never wanted to put my boys in daycare, but I decided to put my son (who will be 4 in August) in preschool in the Fall...it's 4 days a week for 3 hours each day. There are also other programs that are fewer days per week. He's pretty good with colors and letters etc., but I really wanted him to get used to being around other kids in a somewhat structured setting where he he had to follow directions from a non-family member. You should look into some programs in your area like this...there are plenty through the county parks and rec as well as churches and private preschools. You're son may be just naturally shy which is fine, but it might be better to work out any issues before he has to go to school. Good luck!

go hang out at the neighborhood playground. find a playground often inhabited by kids your child's age. they are free, require no registration or commitment. good luck!

Look for Mom's Morning Out programs at area churches and 1/2 day preschools. There are tons where I live and even several in the small town where I grew up. You can usually send them there anywhere from 1 to 5 half days per week, so you could ask whoever is watching him to take him on certain days. I didn't work outside the home until this February, but my two boys have gone since turning one at least a few times per week for socialization -and so I didn't go nuts! The programs are usually very reasonable.

In our area there are daycares, but also preschools. I stay at home, but take my 3 year old to a preschool program. It is just Tuesday and Thursday afternoons (12:30- 3), but has helped my shy girl get used to a school setting. Look around for either a preschool program or even a music or art class that he could do on a regular basis. Whatever adult is watching him at that time can take him to his class. He gets the structure and the exposure to children and you don't have to transition him from loving familial care.