17 answers

2Nd Pregnancy Is SO Much Harder!

I'm about 6 months pregnant with my second child. I have a 2 1/2 year old girl at home, and my pregnancy with her was great. I had severe "all day" sickness, but it was over at the very beginning of the 2nd trimester. It was the same this time... but I am still struggling with nausea. But even worse than that is I am EXHAUSTED. I have very little motivation to get any cleaning/laundry done, and I've missed a bit of work as well. (I work full time, dad is a stay at home.) I do have more going on in my life than last time, with a toddler and some other things as well. But my doctor has done blood work and kept a very close eye on me - and doesn't seem to think anything is wrong. Is it possible that because I'm pregnant with a boy this time to cause things to be sooo different? My doctor IS very good - but I feel like I should be feeling better by now. Any advice or thoughts on what could be going on with me? Thanks for your help!

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I have a 2 yr old girl and a 4 month old boy...I think being pregnant with a boy is sooo much harder. I was feeling exactly what you are. It was rough. Good luck...let me know if i can help at all.
L.

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hi, im also preggo with my 2nd baby. my son will be 3 the 27th of this month. my new baby is due at the end of august. i also had nasty vomitting with the 1st one & about the same with this baby. i was put on medicine for nausea. i just couldnt take it anymore. im so run down this time. one thing i did find out around 10 wks. is i have gestational diabetes. so i changed my diet alot. that helped bost my energy but still having a tough time. my son doesnt run around or anything. i know that might sound like a dream but its far from it, my son is severely handicaped due to a bad doctor/delivery... so he is like a 3 month old. i have full time nursing care. im only alone with him for short periods. so im not doing much of his care...thank god. so i dont understand either why im so pooped. but i try & eat alot of good food & do have more energy with certain foods. i cant tell you what helps more then other. but try eating things you dont normally eat or things that make u feel a lil better....more of those. just a thought. i wish you the best with baby #2. luv always C.

The second pregnancy is going to be harder by the sheer fact that you already have one at home. I too had a horrible time during my second pregnancy. What I found out later was that I was suffering from sleep apnea. I was constantly waking up because I would stop breathing. I would get eight hours of sleep and I would wake up completely exhausted. No one understood why. My OBGYN put me on anti-depressents and every one told me that I was just depressed and that being pregnant was going to make me tired no matter what. Not true. At least not to the extent that I was tired. Investigate the possibility sleep apnea. Read the symptoms and see if you have them and then talk to your doctor. And if you really think something is not right, go to another doctor.

We know our bodies better than any doctor anywhere. So if you don't feel right, arm yourself with knowledge and ask questions and keep talking until your voice is heard.

Good luck. Of course it's all worth it in the end but it's tough now.

Hi K.,

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant with my second child, a girl. My son just turned 3 in May. This pregnancy has been SO hard! I have had very little motivation to get anything done because it seems as though I am exhausted all of the time. My son is very active... he never hit 'the terrible twos' instead he hit 'the terrible threes'. He is into absolutely everything and keeps me on my toes. I can honestly tell you that I've had probably one good month of pregnancy where I wasn't tired, sick, etc. Hang in there, the end result is worth it. =)

Hi K. -
I'm actually in my 1st trimester with my 2nd as well. It's definitely different this time for me too. The only difference is that I'm a stay at home mom with a 13 month old. I am feeling little motivation to do much either and I find myself lying down on the couch when my little one is taking a nap. Completely different from the 1st one where I was working all the time and hardly noticed being pregnant. I just had my TSH tested (I have had my thyroid removed when I was younger because it was overactive and now have to monitor it to see if it's too high/low) and found out I need a higher dose of medicince. I'm sure it's just the pregnancy taking a toll on your body and all the hormones rushing around that are making you exhausted (you are working full time!) but it wouldn't hurt to ask about thyroid issues? Just something to think about? wasn't sure if that was part of the blood test they already did...hang in there, your almost there! K. E.

Why are you cleaning and doing laundry? I'm a stay at home mom with a 19 month old. I do the laundry, clean and cook. Not always easy, but I put myself on a schedule. Can your husband do that stuff since he's home. I don't want to offend, I don't know what your situation is.

Oh, and I have had friends whose pregnancies were like night and day. I was exhausted for the first half of my pregnancy with my son,(I'm a hairdresser, you can imagine how fun that was). But the second half I was less exhausted and more just worn down at the end of the day because I was huge.

If your doc says everything seems fine, I wouldn't worry (I know it's hard not to). Good luck and hang in there!

Sorry to hear your pregnancy is going not that good. I had my baby boy August 06 and had a very easy pregnancy so I don't think you are feeling so bad because you are having a boy. Some pregnancies are harder than others. Good luck!!!

I too had a girl then a boy. Both pregnancy's were different. I had sickness at different times and pains for one and not the other. I had dark lip hair when I was pregnant for my son and it went light with my daughter. Sorry to say but this pregnancy might not go as well as the first one did. Just try to hang in there and listen your Doctor. They know what they are talking about and if you have doubts you need to find a new one.

Hi K., My husband and I are going to start trying for another baby in the summer, and I have a fear of becoming prego again, b/c I have so much more responsibility, then i had with my first. I think it is totally normal, one thing I can say with my pregnancy is that I was so tired all of the time. But your right that should go away after the 1st tri, BUT, everyone is different, and I have heard horror stories about how people were sick the whole time. Has your doc checked your iron? I know he prob did, just thought I would throw it out there. Just look at it this way, you are almost done. And YES, it could be because its a boy. Or even if it was another girl, it is different baby!!! God bless, and congrats!!!

I have a 2 yr old girl and a 4 month old boy...I think being pregnant with a boy is sooo much harder. I was feeling exactly what you are. It was rough. Good luck...let me know if i can help at all.
L.

K.,
There could be a couple of things going on. It's possible that you are simply more tired because you have a toddler to keep up with. OR, you may have peri-partum depression. If you have any history of depression, or if you had post-partum with your dd, you could be a higher risk of depression during or after each pregnancy. Even without a history, it can happen to anyone. And depression can manifest itself in many many ways- I get VERY grumpy and unmotivated. No crying for me! But for many moms, the symptoms of peri-partum depression mimic normal pregnancy symptoms (only more severe) and are usually just brushed aside by docs. You may want to consider it as a possibility- especially since it puts you at higher risk for dep. after baby. And there's help that can make you feel better. Good luck!

it is alot the 2nd time, i was pooped to but I also would fall asleep at 7 with my son and then i would be up by midnight and not sleep again till 4am and then a quick nap before my son got up. I don't know if it was because i was having another boy. I slept more with my first. With my first I had to have a nap, i went to bed early and I slept all night.

You know, I was the same way with my son. With my first 2 (both girls) I had all this energy, but right from the beginning with my son I slept so much and was exhausted almost all the time. Every pregnancy is different, and having another little one to take care of can make you tired anyway-pregnant or not. If your doctor isn't concerned, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Your body is telling you that you need rest, I would just listen to it.

I'm pregnant with my second child and I'm completely wiped out. My daughter is 16 months old and I'm a stay-at-home mom. During my first pregnancy I was student teaching. I was on a schedule and would nap every day after school. With this pregnancy I don't get as much of a nap. I should sleep when my daughter sleeps but it is hard to do when there is so much that needs to be done around the house. I'm also having more morning sickness and lots of food aversions that make it hard to eat healthy.

Also, my mother comes over to 'help' and makes me feel like I'm being a big whimp when I say I'm tired or not feeling well. This makes it even harder.

Luckily my husband has been a saint and helps out around the house. It would be great if your husband or someone else could really help you. If you have the funds, a monthly or bi-weekly cleaning person might also relieve some of the workload.

Good Luck!
A.

I think it is just because it is your second pregnancy. I have 2 boys and my second pregnancy I was very tired all the time. I ate good, Tried to rest when I could, and felt like I was being a lazy bum. My doctor explained to me that the second usaully takes a lot more out of you because you are more active emotionally and physically than before. Even though your first is a dream child (mine was to,the second ismuch more challenging) you are still their caregiver and involved in every little thing. I say don't be to hard on yourself.If you are working a full time job don't be afraid to get someone to watch your girl sometimes in the eve just so you can rest. And sometimes housework just has to wait. You have to protect your body and your child. Also going for a walk will help sometimes. Gets the blood flowing and makes you feel better if you have somethings that HAVE to be done.

K.,
Every pregancy is as individual as your baby. When I was pregnant for each of my boys, everything was great. When I was pregnant for my daughter, I was so sick my doctor hospitalized me in the 4th month because of hyperemesis (extreme morning sickness); for 24 hrs they pumped fluids back into me intravenously. I was better for the rest of the pregnancy. My doctor watched me very closely throughout the pregnancy (I was there about every 3 wks). If it is any consolation, my mom was sick for each of us - and she had 6 (3 boys, 3 girls)!

I was in the same position...well ecept the naseua. My daughter was the same age when I was pregnant with my son. I was also VERY tired all the time and actually felt that I was extremely lasy because I couldn't do the things around the house that I used to. I can't say for sure that it was having a toddler that did it, or that it was b/c it was a boy...all I know is that it was much different and I'm sure if your doctor says that things are going well, then you have nothingto worry about. Keep your head up...worst case scinerio it will be over in about 3 more months...then the real fun starts :)

When you're pregnant with a girl you have a lot more estrogen in your system. For some people that makes them feel better, for others worse. My second pregnancy was much worse (a girl) then my first (a boy). That being said, I was sick with both until the end of the forth month, beginning of the fifth. For most people it will get better in the 2nd trimester & who isn't wiped out with a tdddler (pregnant or not). Good luck to you, it's all worth it in the end.

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