2Nd Grade Son Having a Hard Time Going Back to School

My daughter has had similiar problems every year since kindergarten. She's going into 4th grade this year. Must be something about 2nd grade, she had the WORST time that year. She wouldn't get on the bus to go to school, wouldn't get out of the van when I had to then bring her, was a "frequent flyer" at the nurse, wouldn't want to be in class, once yelled at the top of her voice to the teacher that she wanted to go home, on and on it went. It got bad...she ended up being so out of control she was hospitalized at a behavioral health hospital for 2 weeks inpatient and 2 weeks outpatient. I tell this so you know that I KNOW where you are coming from. Most important thing: daily communication with teacher right now. Call the teacher and discuss the situation. Things that worked for us: start small with earning priviliges. If he has a GREAT day at school (you know this because teacher sends home a post it note w/ a smily face or some other quick type communication) then the next day, choose a reward that involves school: he gets a ride to/from school instead of the bus (we only do rides home, otherwise you have the battle of not wanting to get out of mom's car to go to school), mom or dad going in to eat lunch w/ your son (this again, requires separation at school which is a potential disaster. I'd save this for a few weeks or whenever he is doing great w/ coping several days in a row.) After a few days of good days and daily or every other day rewards, start spacing out the rewards to be once a week. Also, I had a treat bag, each day that was a good day (per the teacher, not your son) my daughter was given something from a special bag I had (dollar store stuff, garage sale finds, etc) Of course there's doing a chart with a sticker for each day. After a great week each day M-F, we might do something special as a reward, trip to get ice cream, etc. Communication w/ teacher is critical! My daughter is doing MUCH better now! She starts school next week. What we do to help get her acclimated is have her go in and help the teacher before school starts. It is billed as "your new teacher called and asked if you'd like to help her in the room, etc. This helps her to build a relationship with teacher ahead of time which is huge. Think about that for next year! Or even, just maybe see if your son could stay after school 1 day to spend some time helping, it may really help him to get comfortable w/ room and teacher when he's there w/o class. Best of luck, I've been there, I feel your pain! Hope my suggestions help!

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I work as a receptionist at a school. We have a few kids like this every once in a while. It seems to help if the parent(s) give the child something small: a picture of themselves, family picture, or special trinket that will fit in their pocket or backpack that the child can take out when necessary. Involving the teacher in the situation is always best. Your school may also have a 'special services' teacher, like ours does, that handles things like this. Check it out. They do their best to help the child without having to call home. Some teachers and parents think that if the child calls home just to hear their parent's voice it will help. This has always backfired! I don't recommend the child calling home.
Good Luck

Hi T., I can be hard to start the new school year. Can your husband meet your son for lunch and sit with him? I have done with my son and he looks forward to me coming there at lunch. Maybe one time a week and then maybe only once in a while. If your not opposed to bringing in McDonald's or his favorite lunch that may help. It gives him something too look forward to in the day and he know's that dad is thinking aboout him while he 's at school. Has anyone at school been teasing or giving him a hard time? We have had some problems with that ourselves, talk to him and know that you are there for him.

I have a 10yr old and a 6 yr old sons. I am a SAHM with a hard working husband very involved with the boys.

I would recommend doing something special after he gets home from school. Maybe a trip to the library or to get ice cream or a walk to the playground.

why not give him a picture of his dad and brother he can keep in his folder or locker? I think most kids just have a hard time readjusting after being off for the summer. Also, make sure he is getting enough sleep- if you have to wake your kids in the morning they are not getting enough rest.

Poor little guy. My daughter had a little difficulty last year but no place near as much. We gave her a key chain with a picture of her and Daddy that she carried in her backpack. She could look at it when she was sad. I also made sure she had a note or message everyday in her lunchbox so she had something to look forward to. That's really all I have but maybe they might help.

HI T.,

I know that your heart is breaking to see him suffering this way. Why don't you take him to buy one of those small photo albums (let him choose it) and then together fill it with pictures of dad and brothers(and you) and let him keep it in his backpack or desk or wherever he needs it.Then he can look at it when he is sad. Or have dad put a note in his lunch. If you talk/email his teacher and explain it, she should not have a problem at all and may be able to offer some more ideas.

There's a little book called, The Kissing Hand. In it the mommmy spreads her child's hand out flat and kisses her palm, then folds the child's fingers back into the palm and tells her to open up her hand and touch her cheek with the kissed part during the school day any time she gets lonely.

That has tp be breaking your heart!! What about inviting a friend from his class to play after school. Maybe if he had a special friend in the class, he would be more excited about school. It would also give him something to look forward to after school. Last year we moved to a new school mid year, and had a similiar problem. It did help my daughter to have a friend in her class that she played with outside of school. Good luck!!

You could give him something specials of Daddy's or his brothers to keep in his pocket at school. As a teacher, I doubt the teacher is going to let him go back and forth between his backpack throughout the day to look at pictures so maybe send him with one to keep in his pocket or desk! We are ALL adjusting going back to school, believe me!! Good luck hope that helps.

Hi Tiffany! One thing I did when my older ones were little was make a small photo album of the family that they could take to school to keep in their desks. That way, when they were missing us, they could have something to look at to help. Really I think they just liked the security of it and probably didn't actually look at it much.
HOpe this helps!
N.

I agree with a couple pictures of the family in his folder that he can peek at during the day. Also, I still do this - I write a little note to my kids and put it in their lunchbox every day. (Funny - I stopped doing it last year for a while and my 4th and 7th grade commented on that) Anything from a motivational comment to ....I enjoyed having ice cream with you. You can have the four year old draw a small picture from time to time or have dad add his comments too. Working with the teacher on this concern is very helpful too. Good luck!

I can very much relate to your concern! Thank you for sharing it. I am having the same problem. My second grader is not back at school yet, but he started crying yesterday at the thought of returning. He has been home for most of the summer with me and his baby sister and he is feeling very sad about going back to school because it means separating from us. He is particularly sad when he thinks about how much he will miss his baby sister.

I have been thinking about trying to address it by sending him to school with things that connect him to home. I'm planning to laminate a picture of himself with his sister that he can put in his cubby so that he can look at it when he misses her. I've offered to bake him a special dessert of his choice for his lunch, and so now, even though he is not looking forward to school, he's super excited about lunch. I've also asked him if there are any special school supplies he was hoping to have, and he's said he wants some mechanical pencils, and so - again - even though he says he's not excited about school, he's really looking forward to using his pencils. Basically, I'm hoping that if I can provide him with a couple of areas in which he does have a choice, he will feel more in control of his life despite the fact that he does not have a choice about going to school. Maybe this will work for you, too. Perhaps your husband and 4 year old could send brief notes (like, "We can't wait to after school!" or "You're the best big brother ever!") That would help him to be at school while still feeling connected. Or, maybe you could involve him in helping make something for his little brother, for when his little brother misses him. That kind of activity may help shift him out of feeling sad and into more helpful coping behavior.

Best of luck!!

No worries, this to shall pass. If at all possible, pick one day a week when either mom or dad can join your son for lunch in the lunch room. This will give him something to look forward to and reward him for good behavior in school.
Best of luck!!
N.-Nurtition Naturally
www.jp4ahealthieryou.com

Let him know that dad and brother and you miss him also but he'll make so many friends nd not be bored at home anymore. Also, remind him that little brother will be going to school with him before he know it and then he won't want his little brother around. It'll all work out.