2.5Yo Discipline?

Updated on January 11, 2011
M.M. asks from Chicago, IL
7 answers

My 2.5 is a holy terror. He's a very sweet little guy with a huge personality. Unfortunately he's also VERY inquisitive and has NO fear at all.
I've tried 123 Magic, and it worked for a little while. I've never changed my consistency with enforcing the rules (time outs, taking toys away, etc...), but he just doesn't care anymore. It rarely works now. He just moves on to something else.

Time outs in his room don't work, either. He will scale his drawers or closet shelves just for fun, so he can entertain himself in there for hours - even if I take all the "fun" out of the room. Yesterday, I went in to get him after trying to put him down for a nap, and found him standing on his chest of drawers (5ft off the ground), gnawing on his toothbrush that was sitting on top.

I have a 4mo, too, so I can't give him my complete attention. The sequence of events last night, while trying to give the baby a bath and put her to bed (15minutes, tops, with me regularly talking to him and checking on him):
**Found him standing on the kitchen counter with a pair of scissors that I had put up there (I thought they were out of reach)
**From there, he drags a kitchen chair to the other counter, trying to open my vitamins (kitchen knives were right there, too)
then I brought him upstairs with me and gated him up there, locking him out of everything except his bedroom and the bathroom...
**found him plunging the toilet (it's already clogged up from his last adventure with toilet paper
**and finally, when all else failed, he got hold of the hand sanitizer in his bedroom and covered himself in it.

This is standard in my house, and I'm clearly concerned about him really hurting himself. Please don't tell me that I'm a lazy parent. I truly don't know what to do, and every time I hide something or think I've gotten everything dangerous out sight, he suprises me with something else. He smiles at me if I swat his butt, and I don't know how to keep him in one place for a time out if it's outside of his bedroom.
Help!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

He is doing his job, exploring his environment and learning about the world. Your job is to make this safe for him. For things that he should not do - you just distract and redirect - over and over and over and over. And someday when he is older and his brain is more mature and he has more language, he will understand. Until then, try wearing the baby so you can follow him around. Is DH/DP involved in your lives. If so - he can play with DS while you bathe the baby or vice versa. Your shelves and dressers are anchored to the wall?

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3.B.

answers from Cleveland on

Alot of your post sounded really similiar to my 2.5 year old, except yours really seems to get into ALOT.
You have your hands full!
Can you gate him out of the kitchen? Maybe take everything out of his room furniture wise besides his bed? It sounds like alot of what he's doing is out of curiousity and boredom. Some kids minds just go crazy if not kept busy all the time, but having another baby (and a life lol) makes that impossible! Try finding things to put around the house that are safe for him to get into, but don't let on that they are "for him" Boxes of tupperware and lids, rags, plastic kitchen utensils. I used to lock every cabinet but leave one full of plastics unlocked and "let" my son find the open cabinet and he loved tearing it all out. Yes it got old picking all that stuff up, but it was worth keeping him busy for awhile. Place stuff like this in everyroom. Get different size boxes for him to climb in and tear up if he wants. He may just have a large imagination to go with his big personality and simply need things to occupy his mind! I bet he'll end up very smart, all that inquisitiveness probably equals intelligence! Good luck :)

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I would work on routines, so he knows what to expect and when. There is a great book called Simplicity Parenting that talks about creating natural rhythms to the day, etc. that really helped a lot in my household.

Diet can have a lot to do with the flitting from one thing to the other, even at this age, and taking away things like food dyes can really impact behavior and attention. The Feingold program was a life saver for my older daughter (now 10) and then we eventually progressed to be gluten free as well and that has helped even more.

I agree with getting him lots of exercise. I would get some sensory toys, since it sounds like he is sensory-seeking. You can contact an OT directly, or something like Early Intervention and they can test him and help you out with public funding to "ready" him for preschool, etc through interventions you can do at home. We love sensory toy websites here- you can get Chew Toobs for oral stimulation, little toys that roll and bounce, indoor trampolines, "stepping stones" and toys that click and buzz to hold in their hands, etc. Horseback therapy is good for these kids too and therapy places usually start very young. We use FTEA in Winfield and they are AMAZING and very educated and capable of working with kids with sensory issues, etc.

I'm not meaning to label him as anything, but just giving you some ideas, I hope!

Sometimes music can really help too for a more calming mood, and lighting too.

Another thing you might think about is a safe room. Just an empty room (or even a walk-in closet) with only safe toys, plugged outlets, totally safe for him with nothing to climb, etc. and a safely gated door (or a door that is cut in half if he can climb gates) and locked from the outside like a pre-school room might have.

Again, I would pay very close attention to diet and try to eliminate some things that might be triggers. Is there any food he would fight you for? Usually that is the one that is the problem. For my older daughter it was Juicy Juice and then we found out she had a major response to apples, so that made perfect sense. For my younger daughter it is anything with flour, and once we took gluten out of her diet, her health and behavior totally evened out (she is 3.) It takes about 10 days to see a change once you remove something from the diet too, so if you want to experiment with that, be patient too.

My older daughter also had a response to strep that would make her just bounce off the walls and seem to have zero compassion at all. If anyone in your house has felt sick or he has been around someone sick (this time of year everyone is, right?) then have the dr do a rapid and a 72 hour strep test. It could be a brain-autoimmune response to strep bacteria.

Hope this helps!!!
M.

www.chickiepea.wordpress.com (our family food blog)

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Majorly.... safety proof the house.

He seems really over the top.... ?

Does he get enough runaround time? To get out his physicality?
Daily?
Is he mostly home bound?
Maybe get him enrolled into a class/playgroup/preschool..... for HIM.
Maybe he needs more structured.... routine.

Speak to your Pediatrician too....

what does his Dad/Your Husband do about it?

S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'll try to keep this short.

I imagine you will have lots of good advice here . . .
perhaps also some not-so-great advice.

So . . . . . the smiling at the swatting . . . .
PLEASE PLEASE accept that the smile and the swat
have ABSOLUTELY NO CONNECTION in his mind
to what he was doing just previously.

He thinks the swatting is a way that you are PLAYING with him.
He is smiling because you are playing with him.

He is UNABLE (for now) to make any connection between specific behaviors he has been enacting and your reaction to those behaviors.

I don't know what to tell you to DO to extinguish the behaviors.
At this moment, anyway.
But I do know that whatever actions you are doing after the behaviors
will have absolutely no effect on extinguishing the behaviors.

This does not mean I am not sympathetic to your situation.
I am.
One of the things I did when I had a 2-year-old was CHILD-PROOF.
I know you have attempted to child-proof but you need to do it far more thoroughly.
Whatever areas of the home he has access to need to be totally child-proof. And then he should have no access whatsoever to all other areas.

More later.

Good luck.

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Why not get his carseat - hopefully still a 5 point harness and just sit him in there, belt him in, for time outs and to keep him in one place for a short period of time while having to do something for your infant?

The carseat is stable, comfortable, safe and will definitely keep him on one place.

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

Maybe have him help you with your baby ask him to get you a diaper or socks ,or even to help feed the baby maybe all he wants is attention and you can incorporate you attention and him helping you so he wont get into so much trouble.

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