February 12, 2007,
B.D. asks from Augusta, GA on December 30, 2006
25 Years Old Single Mom with 2 Year Old Son and a New Boyfriend.. NEED ADVICE!!
I have a new boyfriend we have been dating for 2 months, There is a big difference in age.I just turned 25 on Dec 26th and he will be 20 in February. I am worried about the age difference, and people laughing or having problems with the age differnce, I like him, he is really good to me and my 2 year old son, in fact he came over last night and played basketball with my two year old lil boy, he takes up time with him even when his real father wont. What do I do? Do I stay with him despite everyone? Do I break up with him or what? If it were you what would you do? Does age matter to you? Does the girl older than the guy bother you or does it matter? please respond
1 mom found this helpful
So What Happened?™
I'm not gonna break up with him because of the age, now there is another problem, he is thinking about finishing his college courses in Florida for at least two years, i cant wait on him I am a 25 year old single mother of a 2 year old son, am I wrong?
K.S. answers from Savannah on December 31, 2006
You really shouldn't be concerned with what others think if he is a good man and has the qualities you are looking for. Who cares if hes younger. Hello Demi and Ashton! HAHA.
B.R. answers from Atlanta on January 04, 2007
Hey...lets stop and think if a 20 year old is mature enough to take on a parental and companion role. Also, when you are dating, you have to think about if your little guy gets attached to people and then they just leave. He could get real issues from having men just in and out of his life. I would try to keep your son out of the relationships till you know it is the real thing. I know you are tired and lonley...don't choose men b/c you feel like you need one! You can do this while taking your time to find the perfect partner! This is one of the biggest choices you will make in your life...and your sons! You only deserve the best. Take your time. Make a list of the qualities you want and need out of a mate. Make a list of the qualities you want and need for a father figure. If someone can meet and exceed the list...you can be confident. Take your time to get to know the people you date. You are still so young. At this point in your life, you can afford to take time to grow as a mother and a woman. You and your baby need a solid healthy future, and you can do this for the both of you. BE STRONG! I would be here for you if you ever need anything. You may email me privately whenever you need a shoulder...
You have to consider your future! You can grow into a professional, independant woman...you are the object of desire! You should be able to be confident enough to pick your mate...don't feel like you have to look or wait or long for a man! Be the woman that men dream of marrying, and the woman who can always depend on herself to provide for herself and her baby! YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU!
V.C. answers from Albany on December 31, 2006
First let me tell you that age doesnt matter at all. i used to have a BIG thing about not dating men younger than me until one day i opened my eyes and realized that the ones my age and older are just as immature as a young man could possibly be. i am 35 and am always being told that i look younger and seemed to really attract younger men for some reason. i gave it a try and was amazed really how much respect and maturity this guy i knew had. he was 24 by the way. needless to say i don't discriminate anymore. if they are the one for you then let it be. good made all of us so there are no mistakes. the only mistake would be to stay in a bad relationship/listen to gossip.
A.C. answers from Atlanta on December 31, 2006
If you like the guy stick with him a while. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and there is 17 years age difference! It works great for us. Yeah, we got looks when we first started dating and my family wasn't all that thrilled at first, but after a short time they saw that he (1) made me happy and (2) was good to me. He is older than I, but I don't think age makes a difference. Most of my husband's family has one spouse older than the other. They've all been married several times to people their own age and it didn't work, then they marry someone older and they seem to be able to communicate better, work things out, and be more willing to work through the rough times. I'm not against same age marriage, don't get me wrong, it's just that it doesn't work for everyone. I have family where the girl is 10+ years older than the guy and they have a great marriage. Like I said earlier, what really matters is wheather or not you like the guy and he treats you (and your son) with respect and dignity. Hope this helps :)
D.W. answers from Atlanta on December 30, 2006
Hello, Tiffany S
Hi, My name is D. and yes I understand. I'm 35 and my boyfriend is 30. But, when we first got together was 31/2 years ago. And man were the family talking. I have four children 3 boys-19,14,12& one girl-16. He is good to us and the same with my children. Their father is not around as well.
I just moved there to Gillsville, Ga from Indiana last June 2005. He stepped up better then I thought he would.
And if he is good to you in due time your family will see. Some will let it go and some will not. But, don't let them change your mind about him just keep your eyes open to see things that may slowly come out. So from me to you. I wish you the BEST & good luck.
P.S Happy-B Day /Holiday
S.B. answers from Atlanta on January 05, 2007
It doesn't matter what others think. If this young man is good to you and your son and the two of you feel comfortable with the age difference outside of being concerned about other's opinions then you should strive to make you and your child happy. I am also a single mom with 2 kids. I have interest in a young man and he is interested in me but he is 10 years younger than me and I had concerns/issues like yours in the beginning. He and I talked about it and we don't worry about it now.
B.W. answers from Macon on December 31, 2006
First I want to agree with all the other moms that said not to worry about what everyone "thinks"! As long as he treats you right and your little boy, it shouldn't matter how old he is! With that said, I just want to warn you that he hasn't entered his "party" stage yet! I saw this exact situation with my sister a short while ago. Although every man is different, they do usually experience a party stage. When he started partying, he didn't want to be home with her and her little boy anymore! (The only differnce...the little boy is his). He decided the family life was not for him. Just be conscience of that. He may not care about partying, and that is great! But, I do want to warn you about it.
All the best to you and your little boy, and I hope everything works out for you!
T.V. answers from Macon on December 31, 2006
My Hubby is younger than I am by 3 years when we got married his parents had to come and sign the paperwork he wasn't yet 18. We have been married for going on 6 years now and have a great relationship. It is a joke between us that I am old I am in reality only 25 so that really isn't the fact! I think age is really just a number if you are comfortable with this guy and he is comfortable with you, age should be measured by maturity which doesn't come with a number. Some people are just older mentally than others.
L.K. answers from Atlanta on December 31, 2006
I married someone much younger than myself. I am 33 and he is 26. We were married for 6 years and had 2 kids. Everything was fine untill he became bored with married life. I dont know about your boyfriend, but I would be very careful. And I would be very careful about your son. He may decide he wants to party and have fun, you wont be able to because you take parenting seriously and your son will be the one who wont understand. I am newly separated, I have met someone I really like.... I wont introduce him to my kids because if he decides to leave my kids wont suffer. Good luck and be careful!!!