23 Weeks Pregnant and Doctor Concerned About Me Working

Just stop and think for a minute about how risky it would be to have a very premature baby. Also, there would be substantial medical costs to care for it. (I really don't like calling a baby "it". sorry!) Talk about loss of disposable income! My advice is for you to take ultimate good care of yourself so the pregnancy doesn't become risky and the baby can go at least close to full-term. Maybe your husband (if you have one) can do something extra to bring in a little more money. Good luck!
Mama P

C., The key word here is RISK. What you don't want to risk is having your baby come prematurely. There are all kinds of complications and expenses associated with that. Can you ask your employer to just let you work the cash register or do the books or something less strenuous that won't impact you the way that being on your feet all those hours does? I don't think it's wise to go against your doctor's advice on this one. She sees pregant women all the time and knows when to warn someone of potential problems. Maybe she hasn't spelled it out fully enough? Also, an employer has a right to know of any medical conditions that put you at risk in her employ. Set up an appointment to talk to your employer in an unhassled setting where neither of you have demands coming at you during your conversation. If you tell her what the doctor has suggested, explain your financial concerns and ask if she could work with you to find a solution for the short term (it is a short term problem), you may be surprised to find out that she's more than willing to try. The up-side of taking this route is that you are showing your employer that you are also taking care of her by being responsible to the doctor's concerns for you and your baby and you are being honest. If you get fired, then this is not the kind of person you want to be working for in the long term. It's good information for you either way. Last note, if your baby comes early, you're going to need more than a waitressing job to cover the expenses and you won't be able to work because the baby will need you more than the average mom. It sounds like it would be wiser to err on the side of taking proper care of yourself in this precious time of your baby's development. Good luck and let us all know what happens!

Please listen to your doctor! That sounds like pre term labor (PTL) to me, too, especially since you feel it when you're up and moving. I've had PTL contractions and they don't hurt like a cramp. They feel like a tightness with some pain across the abdomen, but I barely believed I was contracting until I saw it on a monitor.

The financial issue is significant and I sympathize, but you have several weeks to go before you can be assured a safe birth for your baby. And visiting an infant in the ICU would have a significant impact on both you and your partner's ability to work. Finally, I hesitate even to mention it, but the pain of preterm loss is unimaginable. Do anything you can to prevent that outcome.

All the best for you,
A.

Hi my name is J. and I'm a nurse. Have you tried one of those girdles made especially for pregnant moms? They support the tummy especially while you need to be on your feet. One of my coworkers also a nurse, and uses one, seems to work for her. We are on our feet for amny hours during our shift as you can well imagine. Anyway just a thought.

Hi C.,
Listen to your body & your Dr. - both are telling you the same thing if you think about it. Is the extra month's pay worth the risk of a premie baby & all the extra care, costs, problems, etc. that come with it? Those will last several years, let alone a month.
Good luck,
S. C (Granny)

Hello C., Looks like you need to weigh how important it is to keep your baby....you tried to reduce your hours and the problem hasn't changed. Even if the Dr. is overly cautious, if loosing the baby is a concern then why take that risk. You might just have to cut back in other areas to save money, but loosing a life is a permanent thing. You only get one chance to keep this baby and signs are telling you you need to cut back. Plus.. miscarriages are no joke either. You will then beat yourself up by thinking back what if I just would have left that job this might not have happened. Is it really worth the risk?

I say whenever your body is giving you hints that you need to slow down, you should be thankful that you had a hint (& not a break down) & take it as your command to take a break.
We only have 1 body to live in & taking care of it should be our #1 priority.
Now that you have a baby inside of it, you are responsible for 2 bodies.
Is 1 month of work worth the ultimate health problems that can be caused for you or your baby in the long run? Is any amount of money worth health problems?
Coming from someone who has had their share of them at only 29 years old, I'd say no amount of money is worth it.
Let your husband find a way to make up for the month's worth of work OR reach out to family or loved ones (if you have any that are better off financially) I am sure yours or his parents would be happy to help if they knew the situation...
Take care

I am a mother of 3! from age 5 to 4 months. Pregnancy is not easy. Pregnancy and having kids is all about sacrafice. I would play it safe. Lets say something does go wrong and you could have prevented it. It may seem like the money is important but in the big scheme of things the babies health is bigger. I am have a little build myself, always been super healthy. The hardest part of being pregnant is making myself slow down, it's frustrating. But girl, it is not about you, it's about this little gift growing inside of you. God Bless

I would recommend a more detailed conversation with your doctor as to why she is worried about pre-term labor. Does she feel it has begun, or that it may begin? I had similar pains as you describe, none painful. It was my first pregnancy and I thought it was the baby moving. Turned out it was preterm labor which led to 3 months bedrest. Luckily my son was born on his due date but no doubt we wouldn't have him here if I hadn't listened to my doctor. I would talk more with her, and also recommend an ultrasound. This can tell a lot about whether you are indeed in labor. Plus they can put a monitor on you. Better safe than sorry.
Best of luck!

Hello. My name is B. and I have a 4 year old son. I got pregnant at the age of 42. The second and third trimester were very hard on my body. Even though I was healthy at the time I too experienced a lot of pain. I am not a doctor, but I suggest listening to your body. If your body is hurting when you do certain activities I would do them less. The financial income is important, but your babies health and your own is much more important. What of the babies father? Can he help pick up the slack? Try eliminating the "extras" like cell phone bills, cable tv etc. just temporarily so that you don't need the extra income. I wish you well. Take care of yourself and that precious little one! I wish you the best!! Congratulations!

Your doctor has reasons for being concerned and wants you to have a healthy pregnancy and birth. You can push it until you feel it is necesssary, against your doctors wishes, but be carefull that you dont push to long. There is nothing worse than losing a baby (been there) especially later in your pregnancy(close friend did). You know your body best but it only takes one heavy load and/or wrong movement to do the damage and you could end up unable to work even one job or worse. If your waitressing position allows you to have someone else carry your trays there is no reason not to continue a little bit longer. Just remember your doctor has seen more pregnancies than you or most others. Its a tough position to be in and ultimately you know what you need/want to do. Good luck.

I was also a waitress during my pregnancy. I had the same ligament pain you are describing I quit working right at the end of my 5th month as per my doctor. I also had severe leg and ankle swelling and some on and off heart palpatations. my advice to you would be to quit waitressing. the baby growing inside you is way more precious than money in the bank. But i know how you are feeling. hope everything turns out great! It did for me!

You know your body, you know the advice. Most likely nothing will happen, but if it does, are ok with your decision? If you are, because you feel you know yourself...go ahead, if not, don't put yourself through the angst of "what if"

Trust me, MD's try to keep patients as active as possible...

Try checking information about SDI (state disability insurance) and PFL (paid family leave - for after you child is born & your husband/mom/relative can also get this). If a relative is getting PFL to help you, make sure they put on their paperwork that they're helping YOU and not the child. It isn't much but a little bit of money is better than no money. Your medical provider will be able to extend it with due cause. Best of luck and congrats!

Personally I would get a second (and maybe even a 3rd) opinion before making a decision about it. But, I am not really the "always listen to your doctor" type of person and I also prefer midwife care over physician care for a healthy pregnancy. So take my opinion with a little grain of salt...

Hi C.

I am K., nice to meet you. I am 37 and have one child. He is 2 now. I worked on my feet, as a Pharmacy Technician, in a hospital from 3pm to 4am until about 8 months. My doctor never said to me to quite, but she often times encouraged me to sit as much as possible. I ended up taking off 4 weeks early for my own pleasure, but if your OB thinks that there maybe a reason for you to quit why risk it? Ask her if she/he thinks that there is a reason why,other than being on your feet. I know that you can be put on medical leave for pregnancy risk and you will receive money from the state. I am not sure of the details exactly, but you M.D. can tell you. I am not sure if you could still work part time while receiving money. Is there any way you could work more at the other place instead?
Bottom line is you know your body better than anyone so do what you think you can handle, but take caution. I know money is important, but so is your health and your baby's. Good Luck and enjoy every minute of your pregnancy

K.

Hi C., My daughter was born at 23 weeks and believe me you do not want to go through the ups and downs of having a preemie. Listen to your doctor and take care of yourself and your baby. Even if you may be missing out on some money it is not worth risking having a eary delivery. My daughter is 18 months now and doing wonderful. She is a miracle but please take care of yourself and rest as much as you can.

Are you experiencing ANY preterm labor? I, like you, feel that it is probably round ligament pain and that you probably just need more rest and to be careful of how you carry heavy objects, or sit up quickly. I'm sure your doc is wanting to err on the side of caution. In the end, you have to trust your gut instincts. If you feel that it is safe, than it probably is. If you are nervous about it, than follow your instincts.

I would do whatever the doctors tell you. They are the experts and if something were to happen and you lost the baby, you would feel a guilt that will last you your whole life. Your baby could also be born premature and have developmental problems and you would feel the same guilt as it could have been prevented. I know that finances are a major stress but the issues that could result from your waitressing job are too much to take a risk on. It is already your first job to care for this baby and keep it as safe as possible and if that means scrapping by for a while, it will all be worth it to have a healthy baby. Things will work out. See if there is something else that you can do that does not require you to be on your feet.

Your doctor may be playing it safe, but I would rather error on the side of caution then regret it. As others have suggested, if your doctor wants you to stop waitressing, then she would most likely just allow you to stop all together and then you can start collecting State Disability (if in CA). Those benefits will continue for up to 8 weeks after you deliver and then you have the option of getting Paid Family Leave for another 12 weeks after that.

Good Luck

T.

let your employer know that you need to take frequent breaks; and that you might need to leave prior to one month, and take it one day at a time. be sure to get really good rest when you can.

Hello,
I am very petite and as soon as my belly started to grow I constantly would get pain all over from the streching of my tummy. But I ALWAYS let the Dr. know what was going on. I was not typical because I was pretty high risk. But I would really try to take your Dr. advice even if you feel it is overly cautious. Especially if it only happens when you are waitressing. Your body is pretty good at telling you when something is to much. Also what does your husband think. Does he agree with the Dr. Or does he want you to work.

Listen to your doctor! My doctor told me to quit work at 20 weeks (pregnant with twins) and said he otherwise couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't end up in the hospital for weeks or months, but that if I did take his advice, he could guarantee no hospital stays (I had an otherwise very easy/healthy pregnancy and no family health history problems). I am grateful that I took his advice b/c I carried my twins to 39 1/2 weeks (which is pretty rare). You REALLY don't want to be in the hospital for several weeks on a bunch of machines, esp. when you have a preschooler at home. I have heard the awful stories from many women. If nothing else, compromise on another 2 weeks, but that's it. Good luck and good health!!

Listen to your doctor. She is not being "overly cautious", she is giving you sound medical advice. As the wife of a physician, I can't tell you how many times my husband's advice was ignored to the detriment of the patient. Please think of your child. Things may go "OK", but is worth the risk?

Regardless of how paranoid or overlycautious the doctor is you should listen. see if he can put you on Disability. Atleast you will get some kind of income.

Stop now and don't look back. Your baby's health and your health are number one priority. Stop the guessing game. Look into disabiility. Good luck.

The best thing you can do is to listen to your doctor. The most important thing right now is to take care of yourself and your baby. I waitressed when I was pregnant with my first son until I was 5 months pregnant and someone ran right into me as I had a cocktail tray over my head. That was it. I quit. No job is worth the risk. Let your husband step up and make the ends meet, collect disability while you arn't working. Take care of yourself.

hello C. you should listen too you ur doctor hon because at 5 mos i had term labor thank god they stop it they are only 1 pound at 5 mos in womb i dont want nothing happending to ur baby i just hada misscarried last week i was 9 weeks pregnant now my baby is in heaven i am not trying to scared i trying to keep you and the safe and have a nice furture together ......L.

C., the location of your intermittent pain is a warning flag. Your doctor has reason for concern...Not just for preterm labour, but you could risk losing the child and even yourself.

Have your doctor write you a note to give to your employer. Perhaps you can do meet and greet rather than waitressing. I know that money in waitressing is the tips...but consider the long term of this. THe most important factory is the health of you, your baby and your family. You are not just risking yourself now.

Stop waitressing. I was a waitress and very physically fit and pregnant and working too hard and I did go in to pre-term labor and let me tell you there is nothing more important in your life right now then preventing this from happening. After you have children you will better realize the importance of listening to your body. Believe it or not money is not going to help you survive the empotionally difficult process of giving birth and caring for a premature baby. Put your baby first, before anything else (even yourself), right now and you will make all the right decisions.

Hi,
I think you know your body. Go with your gut feeling. I will keep you in my prayers. I have several ladies in different states throughout the United States that I call my prayer warriors. I will contact them plus put you on our church prayer list. Keep me informed.
D.

I think you should go on how you feel. I am also 28 yrs old and just had my first girl in Sept. I like you worked on my feet for 32 to 40 hrs a week as a cashier and also had pains but was not taken off work until my 7 month. As long as the baby is healthy and you are doing fine I think you should keep working. Consider yourself lucky I had to beg my doctor to take me off work. But, certainly take care of yourself. Hope the advice helped.

I would listen to your doctor's advice over anyone else's. Try and think of a plan that would compensate for the missed income, i.e. instead of staying home 5-6 months, stay home 3-4, or work two nights a week initially. I couldn't even imagine being on my feet like you are doing but good for you that your are able to do this! Best of luck to you, but remember your health (which is the baby's health) should be your number one concern right now.

If the Dr. is giving you his professional advice, maybe you can ask him to put it in writing so you could put in for disability? I was very stressed on my job, but the Dr. said mental stress doesn't count toward disability; that you have to have physical symptoms. If you are having pre-labor type contractions when you are tired/overexerted, then that is physical. Maybe check it out. Even if this does not qualify for disability monies, it is definitely not worth it to push on. I have heard too many stories of women who ignored the warnings and lived to regret it. Sure you might be fine, but are you willing to take a gamble on it? Maybe you could try to increase your hours at the other less physical job?

Hi there!
As much as I sympathy with you, because many women do work full term and both they and their babies are fine, and of course the money would really help, in your case the baby is letting you know that it is not OK to overwork yourself and that he does not like it, I would listen. I would rather be cautious than sorry. Besides, waitressing jobs do require a lot of walking and standing and carrying heavy objects. And you should not be carrying anything that is to heavy. Also, with some many customers around, it might be dangerous for you, because they might accidently bump into to you and you could hit the edge of a table or something. And maybe your feet aren't swollen and tired yet, but it comes. At least you have the other job, that I think doesn't require alot of running around and maybe it is mostly a desk job. There are no guarantees with anything, but out of the two, that seems to be the safer one for the moment, maybe that would be best for you and your baby. So don't ware yourself out, that will come along easy enough once you have the baby.
All of the best.

I would never presume to override your physician. Your doctor knows the history of your pregnancy and therefore my advice is to do what your doctor says.

I would strongly suggest listening to your doctor. I don't think they are prone to over reacting...they are the medical team and can determine if you are over stressing yourself or not. If your feeling pain...that's not normal. I know the need to make the money, but seriously this is about your baby's health and your own. Listen to your doctor or get a second opinion.

Please listen to your body and your physician and stop working immediately at your waitressing job. You can be young, healthy and fit and still miscarry. It happened to me. Don't worry about the financial part. Things have a way of working out. Good luck.

I too had a very easy pregnancy while waitressing/bartending/restaurant managing. I was able to work up to the day I delivered. I felt better moving around.

With that said, you got advice from your doctor, so I recommend taking it. My doctor thought I was crazy to want to work and he said to take it easy. He never said I couldn't. If he had, I wouldn't have. Pre term labor is scary. I can't imagine having a baby pre-term and watching it struggle to breath in an incubator when it should be snuggled warmly in the womb. Good luck.

5 months is way too early to be experiencing any pain (unless it's gas, which is common) besides the ligature pain. A premature baby will cost you far more, possibly for years if it means your baby's health is compromised due to premature birth, as well as heartache if you could have avoided that by resting. Listen to you doc!
I had pre-labor pains in my 8th month, rested but kept working at my desk job, & delivered my boy 2 weeks early, and even then he had minor complications (jaundice, which is pretty common in not-quite-term babies). He's healthy and fine now, but I'm glad I listened to my midwife's advice, which was whenever you feel pain you should stop whatever it is you're doing, sit down and put your feet up, relax. And sleep as much as possible!

From my experience doctors tend NOT to be overly cautious so if she thinks you should quit now I would quit NOW. I don't want to scare you but your concern is to save money so you can contribute more and stay home longer but think of it this way, if you have a preemie, any extra money you saved won't even put a dent in the extra money you will put out having a baby early. It's not worth the risk! I say quit now! I had a miscarriage a few months ago and all I can think is "I should have done this, I should have done that". You don't want to go against doctors orders and then feel guilty for it if your baby has problems. I'm sure things will be fine but it's just not worth the chance. S.

i definatly dont want to go against what your dr says because i am not a dr but i worked until my 35th week and i was pregnant with twins...i was on a feet on and off not as much as waitressing so i think you should be fine...you could also try one of those pregnancy support belt things or try to sit during any down time and definatly take a break with your feet up when you get off work...your dr knows what is generally good for everyone but you know what is good for you my dr didn't want me working either but i couldn't afford not to...just listen to your body... hope this helps

Is there any way you can find a way to do less strenuous work while waitressing? I understand the $ motivation, taking 4 months off was really hard on us too. I ended up in pre-term labor after a day of yard work, and felt really stupid becuase I knew better. The trip to the hospital, the stress test, and the conversation about my 28 week old baby staying in the nicu and possibly dying was a horrible reality check. You need to think about how you would feel and what would happen to you and your family if you did go into labor, and then decide if it is worth it in the long run. You can make money strech, you can't bring a baby back.

Why would you risk the health of your child for the money you'll make waitressing? Your priorities sound crazy to me.