42 answers

23 Month Old Who Does Not Talk.........

I have a 23 month old and she is the youngest of 3 girls. Maybe I am just trying to compare her to the other two girls (which I know I should not do). She is not talking at all! It is starting to worry me. I mean she just does the babbling talk "baby talk". We do not talk to her like that we talk like we talk to the other girls. I try to tell the other girls not to talk for her let her try to tell mommy and daddy what she is wanting even if she will point (which she does sometimes). She was introduced to the potty chair at the age of 14ish months old. But she wants nothing to do with it. She will sit on it if mommy goes to the bathroom with her and sits on the big potty. But she will not potty in it. She will stand up and pee beside it. She loves to take her diaper off and try to run the house naked. We have let her do this just to see if she would go to the potty more but NOPE. So am I just trying to rush something that should not be rushed? My other childern at this age were talking and using the potty chair by now. Am I the one to blame for her not wanting to be a big girl? I have talked to the doc about the talking he said if she is not talking by 2 1/2 yrs old they will do some testing on her. She does not even say momma or dadda.

Am I just a mom wanting her lil' one to grow up to fast?? I am just worried that she should already be talking and using the potty. She is a very independent lil' girl she brushes her own teeth and feeds herself with a spoon and fork. she tries to dress herself.

Am I worried for no reason?

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Hi T., i see you already have some good advice but I will tell you about my grandson. Brady was just two when his mom and dad were divorced. We are real close with the two boy's and I sat with them more often than not. Anyway I with his mother took him to a specialist, and I drove him 23 miles one way to a school thinking it would get him to talk but that didn't work. Brady just wouldn't talk. The dr. said he is very smart and I wouldn't worry about him. Well you know how mothers and grandmothers are. His 5 year older brother got a blue ?? can't think what it was called but it also had a tape recorder in it. We quietly watched Brady sit on the floor and would play the ABC's or just anything and we would hear Brady start to mock the tape. It was the most wonderful sound. Brady didn't talk until maybe half way through Kinder -garten. Now Brady is a Special Mechanic in the Army National Guards and is in Iraq. Let me tell you when he started talking it was hard to keep him quiet. So he was 5 1/2 before he really said very much. You might try a little kids tape recorder and see if it works for you. Good Luck K. p

1 mom found this helpful

Basically we as humans are lazy, it's true about kids, see if you can push her a little to talk to you. You could try one on one time with her. Get some things together that you know she knows the words for. For instance if you ask her to go get something, she goes to get the right thing. Sit down with her and ask her questions, "What's this? Where the ***?" try to get her to talk. Ask her question though out the day, get down on her level when you do, pull her close so you can hear her and not her sisters if they are trying to answer for her. Keep gently reminding them that you want her to tell you. It might also be because the other two are older and louder she may not feel the need to talk so much.

As for potty, I'm just starting training. When you go, do you strip her and sit her down on her potty? If not, that may help. Make it a join effort. You could also by a second potty chair and set it up in the room she plays in most, leave her diaper off and when you see her start to go move her fast to the chair. You might have a few messes to clean, but it's an idea. Does she ever use the potty? on the off chance that she does you can use a reward, a special treat that she loves, Jelly Beans, M&M's, Teddy Grams(personal favorite), something small. When she goes she gets some, if she goes number 2 she gets more then usual.

I hope these help. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

It's natural to worry when a child of yours is doing things more slowly than your older children. However, I will say that my daughter started talking around a year old, and when my son came around...no way! He didn't really start talking until after his 3rd birthday. My kids are 15 months apart, and because his sister was so talkative, he just never really had the chance to become interested in talking himself. Within a couple of months of him turning three, he began talking, and by the time he was 4 he was reading me books by himself. I was really worried about him too, had his hearing checked, and also had him evaluated for speech therapy. They turned him away because when she would hold out objects, he would say the name of them. I didn't even know he knew most of the words because he never said them to me. It may be helpful for you to spend some one on one time with her, to give her the opportunity to have your undivided attention and the ability to talk whenever she feels like it. My daughter went to first grade this year, and it's really the first time my son has had one on one time with me and I've been amazed at how much he's blossomed in only one month! He was always real quiet in the car, but she was always talking nonstop. Now that she's in school, he'll carry on conversations with me like never before. I still have to pry them out now and then, but he's beginning to start them with me now. It's really neat to see a child come out of their shell when given the right environments to do so. Even if you just took her out to dinner just you and her. You may not get anything from her at first, but you may find that by the third or fourth time, she may start answering you more and more. Talk to her, and read to her as much as you can. While you're reading say things like "Where's the tree?" and throw harder ones in there too like "Where is the girl who feels sad?" Eventually, when she's pointing them out quickly (you are going to want to read the same books over and over), then you can say "What is going to be on the next page?" or cover up a tree with your hand and say "What is under mommy's hand?" As far as potty training goes, I wouldn't worry about it for awhile. I started my little girl at 26 months and she trained okay, but I don't think that you should worry until she closer to 3 before you start really hitting the potty training hard. So for now, basically don't worry about her, but do things to help her out and see how much of an improvement you see in her in the next few months. You might be surprised.

Also T., try not to let the mothers on here who are saying how they would be soooo worried, make you sick with worry. What they're doing is exactly what people say not to do and that's comparing your child to another.....theirs. It doesn't mean anything, not that their child is smarter or more advanced, it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with your child, it simply means that your child is just not interested in talking yet. As long as there are no obvious hearing issues and she's developmentally on track with other things, then she's totally fine. You have a 6 and an 8 year old daughter, I mean, I can't imagine how noisy it is in your house with all that talking! LOL, my six year old hardly ever stops talking. Right now, your 23 month is probably listening like crazy and probably learning much more than you think. When she does start talking, who knows?? Maybe she'll just start busting out with full sentences because she's been learning all this time how to do so. Just to give you a peace of mind, go ahead and call first steps and see what they say, but don't blame yourself or get overly worried if they decide to work with her. Worrying will do you no good, just have her evaluated and go with the flow. EArly prevention is key, women are right about that, but it's no reason to cause you to think that something huge is wrong here.

3 moms found this helpful

Forget the potty training for now, come back to it later. She doesn't seem ready. You can't push it on her. As for the talking issue, I disagree STRONGLY with your doctor. Early intervention is KEY. Call Help Me Grow, get a representative out to evaluate her. Working with them, they can get her into speech therapy, at no cost to you. Our youngest son was a preemie and wasn't even babbling at 18 months. I had noticed other delays and got Help Me Grow involved at around 15 months of age. He's now two and a half and has been seeing a speech therapist weekly since last November. In the past few months his vocabulary has suddenly exploded. I think waiting until she's two and a half is too long. You need to take charge now. The earlier you intervene, the better the outcome. I wish you luck with these issues! I know it's not easy. It's been an uphill battle for us, but I'm so thankful we got the help we've needed.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi T.,

I have to echo the other moms--be proactive in your child's health and development and INSIST she be evaluated. Plus as at least one poster suggested, make sure her hearing is okay--that can severely limit speech developement. Finally, for some comfort, it could be nothing! I didn't speak until I was 3 years old and within that year I was reading. My mom thought I was developementally disabled, but it turns out I had a VERY talkative older sister to speak for me. Plus I was always very independent, if that has anything to do with it (maybe I just wanted to do things on my own time??) Anyway, now I'm a lawyer, so take heart, there may be no problem at all. :)

1 mom found this helpful

If you are truly concerned, I would trust your "mom gut instinct." There is actually a county run program called Help Me Grow who will come to your home and do an assessment on your child for free. It might be worth looking into... Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My son was the same way - he was the 'one word wonder' when he turned two and I was very worried (he knew more than one word, but would only use one word at a time - no sentences or phrases). His sister (23 months older) was speaking full sentences and carrying on conversations by 18 months, as was his older brother. About two weeks after his b-day he started talking more...and more...and more - and now he just turned three and I often wonder where the OFF switch is!! ;o) Hang in there, all kids develop at a different pace and it is very common for younger siblings to talk later than the first ones did. As you mentioned, the older ones tend to talk for them. :o)

Good luck!

edited to add:

I just read some of the other responses - I agree, if you think it is really an issue get her evaluated. I actually made arrangements at Children's to have my son evaluated after his 2-yr check up. Since he changed so drastically after that I didn't follow up with it...he was just waiting until he had something important to say!

1 mom found this helpful

I would not be worried at all about the whole potty thing. My neice is now 18 months, hates her diaper but refuses to pee. My son did not potty train until he was three and half. I have heard very often that younger children talk later than the older siblings for many reasons. I would keep encouraging her to attempt to say things, make sure you look at her when your talking to her, have her look at your face and lips when you talk/try to teach her a new word. a friend of mine baby sits a 2 year old that did not talk at all when she first started watching him but she did this and now has him saying a new word each week. Although to most people he is still VERY VERY almost impossible to understand, but he is trying to talk. :) Best of luck! Try not to compare or worry too much!

1 mom found this helpful

Hi Trish, Our 23 month old daughter is not interested in going on the potty either. I don't even think she gets the concept. We're not pushing it. I'll try again in a few months, but for now I'm not going to have and me stress over it.

As far as the talking goes, there's a great federally funded program called First Steps in Indiana that's run by county for children under 3 that are developmentally behind. Our daughter was in a orphanage the first 10 months of her life. We had heard about First Steps and decided to have her evaluated at 18 months by First Steps to see if she was behind other children her age. They said she qualified for developmental and physical therapy, and she was in developmental therapy to help her speech and in physical therapy to help build her muscles. She just finished up her developmental therapy a couple of weeks ago, and her physical therapist is telling us that she'll be caught up in a couple of weeks on her muscle strength. This organization rocks! You can see about having your child evaluated to determine if she may need that little extra boost to get her caught up. If she qualifies they charge you based on your income. For us our health insurance covers the cost, so it hasn't cost us much at all. I'm glad we did this to give our daughter the opportunity she needs to be caught up with others her age!

1 mom found this helpful

I agree that intervention is needed now. By the age of two your child should have some kind of vocabulary. I'm not saying it is, but that is one sign of Autism. Get help. Gl and let us know.

1 mom found this helpful

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