23 Month Old Not Talking

Hi A., I have 3 kids and I can tell you that my youngest was the same way. The way you say she understands when you tell her things and that she talks to her dolls, I really don't think she needs therapy. The mom that suggested "making" her talk for herself is what I did. You know asking her what she wants with out looking at her, does work. Also it has been understood that I do not tolerate screaming. If you scream someone better be broken or bleeding! I know that sounds cruel, but i have found it makes them understand that all it does is give everyone a headache.

Good Luck and remember, therepy and/or drugs are not always the best answer.

Here are a few suggestions...
Sign language is a great tool for children who are frustrated because they are not speaking yet and are having difficulty communicating. It is easier for them to use gestures than to make the words. They are communicating, so you know they understand and are developing. Go to www.aslpro.com - you can click on any word and watch how it is signed to learn it & teach your child. My oldest didn't speak until after he was 2, but he was communicating with us using sign language until then. When he started talking, it was straight to complete sentences.
Also, her "shyness" reminds me of how my son was. You may want to have her Auditory processing checked. Sometimes, though her hearing may be perfect, she may be having a hard time processing what she is hearing and may be frustrated by that. Hopefully that is not the case and she just isn't ready to say the words.

If you are concerned have your county's Early Intervention program come and evaluate her. They provide speech therapy for children who qualify for the program until they are three years of age.

A.,

Try sign language with her. My son is a whole lot more verbal now - once he starts seeing me sign he lights up and it's a visual cue.

Not all kids are auditory learners - some are visual! You don't have to go all out learning new signs - just get the basics like more, want, food, signs for foods, actions (go, come, out/in, etc.) You can get as elaborate as you want, but introducing a sign a day is not a bad idea - you have to remember them too :D

There are signed stories out there - Linda Bove (from sesame street) has quite a few available) and others are out there - on ebay if not at amazon.

Good luck! Be proactive!
M.

Get an evaluation. Every state has Early Intervention for children birth to 3years with developmental delays. In my experience doctors have not taken speech delays seriously when in fact there was something serious going on. You are the parent and know your child the best. Your child could have fluid in her ears which could be preventing her from hearing correctly which could cause the delay. Or she could have some hearing loss. Don't wait for the doctor, get her evaluated by both Early Intervention and a hearing test. The earlier the better outcome and treatment.

I think some kids just don't put a lot of store in verbal communication. I've got one who would talk your ear off at age two, the other didn't have much to say until she was four or five. She would growl, point, make sounds like a slurp when she was thirsty to get her point across if she couldn't be bothered to trot out her words. Now they are both in school and have great verbal skills. The only real difference I notice is that the talker loves to write and the non-verbal one is an enthusiastic artist who thinks creative writing is for the birds.
Perhaps you can get her interested in drawing, or develop some signs she can use if words are simply not her forte. If you trust your doctor and he is not worried, then I suspect she is just not a verbal kid. Who knows what other talents that entails though? It will be fun to find out.

I agree with your dr. My friends little girl just turned 3, and she didn't start talking much until recently. Now she jibber jabbers constantly! I think as long as she's got a handful of vocabulary and comprehends what you are saying to her, then she's fine. Clearly I'm not dr, I'm just saying I wouldn't be worried. She sounds perfectly fine. :)
L.

Everyone these days wants to get early intervention for everything. I think all this concern is not warranted. If your doctor is not concerned, then I would not worry yet. She's not even 2! Give her some time and if you don't see a big improvement in the next 6 months or so, then you can ask the Dr. But don't push her to talk when she doesn't want to. If she is talking to herself, let her talk. Don't interrupt her and ask her to repeat herself. This will only frustrate her more.
Is she exposed to more than one language by any chance? My husband's family is bilingual and my niece was the same way. She really didn't say very much until she was about 2 1/2. Since she was learning 2 languages at once it took her a bit longer to master them both. She caught up very quickly though. She will be 3 in April and she is such a little chatterbox, you would never know there was any delay.

My son has delayed speech. His is worse than your daughters but similar in that he gets upset if you ask him to say things. His dr.s also said not to worry because of the older siblings. My advice is to start early intervention now. The paper work and waiting takes a while. My son turned 2 at the end of Nov. and we are still waiting for his services to begin. Also the county only works with your child up until the day before their 3rd birthday and then your school district takes over. For me this basically means my child only has a few months of services before the paper work process takes over again. Either way it can't hurt to have your daughter evaluated and see if she does indeed qualify for services. I would bring it up at your next dr.s appt,

Why does she have to talk when she can get what she wants by pointing. When she points act confused. If she wants a drink for example, ask her if she wants juice or milk, but dont look at her, stick your head in the fridge. If her siblings talk for her tell them sweetly that you werent talking to them and the baby has to talk for herself. Im sure her anger comes from frustration, but it sounds like she is unsure of her speech so she doesnt try. The more you ignore the pointing the more she will have to talk.

My 19 month old is having the same issues. I'd love to hear advice on this one also.

check with the state for early intervention. it's free and until the child is 3 yrs old. if very active, i mean very active, something speech is delayed 9not a bad thing) a child is not always to learn everything at onece.
again, i'd check into the early intervention program with the state. it sounds like your dr. should be concerned. there are certain milestones a child is suipposed to have a particular age ranges. i don't know what they are, but another person you can check with is a speech pathologist.
good luck.

Hi,

As long as your child understands you and your doctor isn't concerned, I think you have really nothing to worry aboout. My son was the same way and now, at 28 months, he won't stop talking! We have seen such a big difference in just a couple of months. He went from pointing, grunting and getting very frustrated to saying a few words and then sentences.

We noticed he would get really upset when he wanted more of something but couldn't communicate it so we taught him the sign for "more". This relieved a lot of his frustration. (Don't worry about signing impeding her language growth- now, he says "I want more" and doesn't use sign language at all.)

Read to her everyday and encourage her to use her words when she wants something. If she gets frustrated and angry, redirect her with the words that she needs and stay calm. Try some sign language if you want. I bet in a few months she will surprise you!

Hi A.,

I wanted to share the link for the Early Intervention Program (if you're in NY):

http://www.health.state.ny.us/community/infants_children/...

If you're located outside of NY, you could do a Google Search for similar early intervention programs. A close friend of mine just had her daughter evaluated for the same reasons you speak of (her daughter is also 2).

It doesn't hurt to have the evaluation done, especially if it offers you peace of mind. If the evaluation results show that there is no delay or need for services, the office can at least give you some resources or advice.

Best of luck to you!

I would try adding signs as quickly as she can learn them. It will probably help with her frustration to be able to get across what she wants. There are tons of signing books at the library or just make up your own. I did this with my daughter, very few of the signs she used and still uses are correct, but I know what she means and that really helped. I think talking is probably not far off and this might open some doors there too once she sees how much more she can accomplish when you and everyone else can understand her. Good luck!

I am in the same boat, my almost 23 month old son has some words & seems to be TRYING to talk but he is very good at non-verbal communication so doesnt try too hard. He also has **some**words, Dada, Kitty, water, baba, cookie. But when he really wants something most times I can't understand what he is trying to say. If he doesn't improve alot by his 2nd birthday I am going to get his speech evaluated to make sure he doesn't have a motor problem (slightly tongue tied).

Hi A.,
Have you heard of the Birth to Three program, early intervention? Therapists come to your home to evaluate our child for free to determine if she qualifies for their program which usually is play based intervention in your home.

I am a speech-language pathologist and although it's true that some children are late talkers, it sounds like your child should be evaluated, it certainly won't hurt. Usually by 2 is when children have enough single words (35-50) that they start to combine words together. Although you mentioned one 2 word combinatin (up dolly), the fact that she is not using it with others is something that you would expect her to be doing around now. Do ou live in Connecticut, New York? Feel free to email me aissaslp!optonline.net or call with any questions. (Birth to Three in Connecticut is 1800 ###-###-#### website http://www.birth23.org/

Hi, I understand your concern. I am a mother of 4 and have been through this with 3 of them. My youngest is 28 months old and just started speaking more than 10 - 15 words, and putting them into almost understandable sentences. I know that she can speak if she chooses to, she just doesn't want to. I think a part of not talking is perhaps someone knowing what she wants, without her having the need to put her thoughts it into words of her own? or maybe others speakin for her? That happened with my son, now 8. His 2 older sisters, then 8 & 10 spoke for him, so he was a late conversationalist.
My oldest, however, now 17, had a speech problem and was diagnosed in Headstart at 4 years old. She had therapy for a couple of years and now speaks great, though softly, and she does mumble sometimes, but I think most teens do that at times.

I have always been told to let children develop on their own, at their own pace. If you try to rush them before they are ready, you may make the outcome a bad one. Example: I have seen a friend try to force potty training on her 1 1/2 year old. The child had accidents daily, and almost nightly. I waited for my children to be ready on their own and have had maybe 2 accidents with each child over a years time. My son wasn't fully potty trained until he was almost 3!
I hope this helps ease some of your conern.

Hi A.,
Wow! You scared me for a minute there! I thought she wasn't talking at all. It is not a disability because she understands you and follows commands. My daughter didn't start talking really until she was about 21 mths. Now, at 28 mths. she is piecing more and more words together, still not as good as I'd like, but I know in time she will be a little chatterbug like her sister and I will miss the days she didn't say anything, LOL.
I like to read tons of books to her. I ask her questions and she replies. For some kids it takes a little longer, especially the temperamental ones. She is coming along fine and I am pretty sure your daughter will too.

Contact Early Intervention in your area. I too had a two year old (a twin) who wasn't talking up to the same speed as his sister. I was referred to EI by his pediatrician. EI does wonders. It is est to get the help now before school age. Hope this helps.

A.,

Hi! I am in the same boat...except I have a son who is almost 23 months. He was saying mama, dada, but not directly at us. People told me not to worry, etc, it will come in time, but I knew deep in my heart, that I needed to do something. If you are in NY...Contact Early Intervention. It's the best because it's free, done in your home at the times you say and the quicker you get it done, the quicker services can start. My son was evaluated and qualified, so he has had 3 sessions so far. He is learning sign language to help express himself and his frustration level has decreased since he now has some form of communication with us. My pediatrician didn't recommend it, I did it on my own after talking with a few other moms and just knowing in my heart that I had to do something. He does have an older sister too, and she's learning the signs right along with him so our entire family is benefitting from this! I hope that you find your answers! Good luck, I know how you must feel!

J.