23 Month Old Not Talking

A.,

Try sign language with her. My son is a whole lot more verbal now - once he starts seeing me sign he lights up and it's a visual cue.

Not all kids are auditory learners - some are visual! You don't have to go all out learning new signs - just get the basics like more, want, food, signs for foods, actions (go, come, out/in, etc.) You can get as elaborate as you want, but introducing a sign a day is not a bad idea - you have to remember them too :D

There are signed stories out there - Linda Bove (from sesame street) has quite a few available) and others are out there - on ebay if not at amazon.

Good luck! Be proactive!
M.

Hi A., I have 3 kids and I can tell you that my youngest was the same way. The way you say she understands when you tell her things and that she talks to her dolls, I really don't think she needs therapy. The mom that suggested "making" her talk for herself is what I did. You know asking her what she wants with out looking at her, does work. Also it has been understood that I do not tolerate screaming. If you scream someone better be broken or bleeding! I know that sounds cruel, but i have found it makes them understand that all it does is give everyone a headache.

Good Luck and remember, therepy and/or drugs are not always the best answer.

Dear A.,

This is going to sound bizarre, but I recommend taking a careful look at your daughter's diet. I say this because I had a lot of concerns about my son's speech -- basically from one year to two-and-a-half. I expressed this concern to several of the pediatricians in the practice he goes to, to an ENT, to an audiologist, and to a speech therapist affiliated with Early Intervention. I know this makes me sound like a crazy worry-wart of a mom, but my son's speech was VERY unclear and his vocabulary was very small and developed very slowly. All those people told me he was fine. But it was just clear to me, observing my son, that something was up. I finally consulted with a naturopathic physician, really because of concerns about my son's digestion. She told me it sounded like he still had a significant milk protein intolerance (which, BTW, cannot be detected by an allergist's pinprick test) and that that was producing congestion in his ears. She recommended I get all traces of milk out of his diet, which means reading all labels like a hawk. Within two days, my son's speech just took off. I mean, the change was so profound it felt like science fiction. Within a week, his articulation was about 500% clearer. Within about three weeks, he had begun to speak in long, complex sentences. Now, at 2.7, my son's speech is way ahead of his age group.

I don't know if your daughter has any of the same issues, but naturopaths are trained to be sensitive to things that register as the low end of normal on most charts and to look for natural, non-invasive solutions.

Best of luck,

Mira

Hi A.,

One reason your daughter may not be speaking very much is because she could be attracting attention because of your working and your husband being away from home. I had a friend whose grandson, a second child, wasn't speaking either and just gesturing or letting his older brother speak for him. It wasn't that he could speak; the mother was upstairs when he was supposed to be napping and heard him carrying on a conversation with himself. He was talking because his brother was talking for him. If this continues and one of her older siblings is speaking for her, I would ask them not to speak for her and make her tell you what she wants. If this doesn't work out, I would take her to a speech therapist to see if there is something wrong physically with her (and she should see the doctor so you could tell him what's going on).

She may just need some reinforcement from you and your husband when he is home. It really sounds like a frustration problem since she does act out. I would watch to see if the siblings are speaking out for her. But, then there are some children who don't talk right away. Once they start though, watch out! You can't keep them quiet. This was the case with my grandnephew who was a slow talker. He just needed some stimulation. Instead of your daughter pointing at things that she wants, tell her the name of the item and don't give it to her until she repeats it. This may take a little time, but it might be worth it.

Good luck.

J. B.

Contact Early Intervention in your area. I too had a two year old (a twin) who wasn't talking up to the same speed as his sister. I was referred to EI by his pediatrician. EI does wonders. It is est to get the help now before school age. Hope this helps.

Hi A.,
Wow! You scared me for a minute there! I thought she wasn't talking at all. It is not a disability because she understands you and follows commands. My daughter didn't start talking really until she was about 21 mths. Now, at 28 mths. she is piecing more and more words together, still not as good as I'd like, but I know in time she will be a little chatterbug like her sister and I will miss the days she didn't say anything, LOL.
I like to read tons of books to her. I ask her questions and she replies. For some kids it takes a little longer, especially the temperamental ones. She is coming along fine and I am pretty sure your daughter will too.

Hi, I understand your concern. I am a mother of 4 and have been through this with 3 of them. My youngest is 28 months old and just started speaking more than 10 - 15 words, and putting them into almost understandable sentences. I know that she can speak if she chooses to, she just doesn't want to. I think a part of not talking is perhaps someone knowing what she wants, without her having the need to put her thoughts it into words of her own? or maybe others speakin for her? That happened with my son, now 8. His 2 older sisters, then 8 & 10 spoke for him, so he was a late conversationalist.
My oldest, however, now 17, had a speech problem and was diagnosed in Headstart at 4 years old. She had therapy for a couple of years and now speaks great, though softly, and she does mumble sometimes, but I think most teens do that at times.

I have always been told to let children develop on their own, at their own pace. If you try to rush them before they are ready, you may make the outcome a bad one. Example: I have seen a friend try to force potty training on her 1 1/2 year old. The child had accidents daily, and almost nightly. I waited for my children to be ready on their own and have had maybe 2 accidents with each child over a years time. My son wasn't fully potty trained until he was almost 3!
I hope this helps ease some of your conern.

Hi A.,
Have you heard of the Birth to Three program, early intervention? Therapists come to your home to evaluate our child for free to determine if she qualifies for their program which usually is play based intervention in your home.

I am a speech-language pathologist and although it's true that some children are late talkers, it sounds like your child should be evaluated, it certainly won't hurt. Usually by 2 is when children have enough single words (35-50) that they start to combine words together. Although you mentioned one 2 word combinatin (up dolly), the fact that she is not using it with others is something that you would expect her to be doing around now. Do ou live in Connecticut, New York? Feel free to email me aissaslp!optonline.net or call with any questions. (Birth to Three in Connecticut is 1800 ###-###-#### website http://www.birth23.org/

I am in the same boat, my almost 23 month old son has some words & seems to be TRYING to talk but he is very good at non-verbal communication so doesnt try too hard. He also has **some**words, Dada, Kitty, water, baba, cookie. But when he really wants something most times I can't understand what he is trying to say. If he doesn't improve alot by his 2nd birthday I am going to get his speech evaluated to make sure he doesn't have a motor problem (slightly tongue tied).

I don't know your location but I used a program called Early Intervention. You should have one near you too. It is for free (government sponsored), they come to your home and evaluate you child's cognitive, social, verbal etc. skills. If they find that she is not up to her level they will have a speech therapist come and help. Wonderful people. Also reading, reading, reading. I'm just reading a book by Jim Trealease "The read-aloud handbook" - books are the most influencial sorce of educational excellence. Hope this helps.
M. Becker - Usborne Books Independend Consultant www.UsborneABC.com

I would try adding signs as quickly as she can learn them. It will probably help with her frustration to be able to get across what she wants. There are tons of signing books at the library or just make up your own. I did this with my daughter, very few of the signs she used and still uses are correct, but I know what she means and that really helped. I think talking is probably not far off and this might open some doors there too once she sees how much more she can accomplish when you and everyone else can understand her. Good luck!

You are her mom and know her best. My daughter started talking at about 9 months old and then 1 week after her 1st birthday stopped talking. I freaked out! Dr. said its fine give it until she is 2yo. At 2 I insisted on seeing a speech specialist. They evaluated her and she started recieving speech therapy the next month. She caught up and now won't shut up :) but my point is insist your doctor give you a referal (or whatever you need for your insurance) and go see a specialist. If they tell you she is fine and don't worry at least you have a specialist opinion. They may tell you she needs some speech therapy and that too is not bad. Might as well get her the help she needs sooner rather than later if she really needs help and if your worried get yourself some peace of mind. I live in NY and since my daughter was not in day care or school the therapist came right to my home. It should not cost you anything except a dr. copay for the specialist evaluation. Get her checked so you can relax and know either she is fine or she is getting the help she needs. A.

Hi A.,

I wanted to share the link for the Early Intervention Program (if you're in NY):

http://www.health.state.ny.us/community/infants_children/...

If you're located outside of NY, you could do a Google Search for similar early intervention programs. A close friend of mine just had her daughter evaluated for the same reasons you speak of (her daughter is also 2).

It doesn't hurt to have the evaluation done, especially if it offers you peace of mind. If the evaluation results show that there is no delay or need for services, the office can at least give you some resources or advice.

Best of luck to you!

Hi,

As long as your child understands you and your doctor isn't concerned, I think you have really nothing to worry aboout. My son was the same way and now, at 28 months, he won't stop talking! We have seen such a big difference in just a couple of months. He went from pointing, grunting and getting very frustrated to saying a few words and then sentences.

We noticed he would get really upset when he wanted more of something but couldn't communicate it so we taught him the sign for "more". This relieved a lot of his frustration. (Don't worry about signing impeding her language growth- now, he says "I want more" and doesn't use sign language at all.)

Read to her everyday and encourage her to use her words when she wants something. If she gets frustrated and angry, redirect her with the words that she needs and stay calm. Try some sign language if you want. I bet in a few months she will surprise you!

check with the state for early intervention. it's free and until the child is 3 yrs old. if very active, i mean very active, something speech is delayed 9not a bad thing) a child is not always to learn everything at onece.
again, i'd check into the early intervention program with the state. it sounds like your dr. should be concerned. there are certain milestones a child is suipposed to have a particular age ranges. i don't know what they are, but another person you can check with is a speech pathologist.
good luck.

My 19 month old is having the same issues. I'd love to hear advice on this one also.

Definitely get her evaluated by a speech therapist. Early Intervention (I'm in NY) allows you to do a self referral, so if your doctor doesn't agree she needs help, you don't need the doctor's recommendation. Early Intervention is up to age 3, then after that, you can do a self referral through the school system and they will be the agency responsible for providing extra help. If you qualify through the school system, then your daughter also qualifies for Pre-K (if that's a concern). My 3 1/2 year old daughter is in the same boat, but falls in the acceptable range, even though she doesn't speak in sentences very well at all. Good luck!

Hi, A.. You know your child and you have a motherly instinct and you do what you feel is appropriate. My oldest son was talking really good at age 1 and then all of the sudden I noticed he wasmumbling and everytime I asked him to repeat he would do the same thing, either shy away or get frustrated with us. So, I pointed it out to the pediatrician and they got some information for me for early intervention and come to find out because it was summer, it was harder to get anyone in our area (Troy NY) and he was approaching two (or was it three, but I think it was 2)years of age, he had to make a different call because early intervention was up to a certain age....it doesn't matter, they will evaluate your child's language with you present if you can and want to and then you will have a speech therapist call you to set up times and numbers of days a week for him/her to come and do therapy with your child. I had one older mother who was a grandmother say that I should wait because he may be a late bloomer with speaking and I disagreed. I know that he talked well then he could even say those words anymore and it's getting worst and his frustrations was coming out and he never had that because he was just a great kid. He still is and he is doing WONDERFUL with speech and now I know what he is saying and what he's thinking and now it's great talking with him...having a conversation :). He's four years old now and he's having speech therapy and is almost done this year. One thing I knoow that if her siblings are talking for her then that will affect the speech and that happened to my husband's youngest brother. Let us know what happened and if any questions keep asking us.

Why does she have to talk when she can get what she wants by pointing. When she points act confused. If she wants a drink for example, ask her if she wants juice or milk, but dont look at her, stick your head in the fridge. If her siblings talk for her tell them sweetly that you werent talking to them and the baby has to talk for herself. Im sure her anger comes from frustration, but it sounds like she is unsure of her speech so she doesnt try. The more you ignore the pointing the more she will have to talk.

My son has delayed speech. His is worse than your daughters but similar in that he gets upset if you ask him to say things. His dr.s also said not to worry because of the older siblings. My advice is to start early intervention now. The paper work and waiting takes a while. My son turned 2 at the end of Nov. and we are still waiting for his services to begin. Also the county only works with your child up until the day before their 3rd birthday and then your school district takes over. For me this basically means my child only has a few months of services before the paper work process takes over again. Either way it can't hurt to have your daughter evaluated and see if she does indeed qualify for services. I would bring it up at your next dr.s appt,

Everyone these days wants to get early intervention for everything. I think all this concern is not warranted. If your doctor is not concerned, then I would not worry yet. She's not even 2! Give her some time and if you don't see a big improvement in the next 6 months or so, then you can ask the Dr. But don't push her to talk when she doesn't want to. If she is talking to herself, let her talk. Don't interrupt her and ask her to repeat herself. This will only frustrate her more.
Is she exposed to more than one language by any chance? My husband's family is bilingual and my niece was the same way. She really didn't say very much until she was about 2 1/2. Since she was learning 2 languages at once it took her a bit longer to master them both. She caught up very quickly though. She will be 3 in April and she is such a little chatterbox, you would never know there was any delay.

I agree with your dr. My friends little girl just turned 3, and she didn't start talking much until recently. Now she jibber jabbers constantly! I think as long as she's got a handful of vocabulary and comprehends what you are saying to her, then she's fine. Clearly I'm not dr, I'm just saying I wouldn't be worried. She sounds perfectly fine. :)
Lynsey

That happened with my son. Barely said a word until he was three!! His Doctor was concerned and recommended he be evaluated by a program called Early Intervention. It's a program (I'm in New York State) from birth through age 3, where they help children with developmental delays. I was really pleased with how the program was handled. They did the evaluations and determined he was eligible to receive speech and physical therapy (he was also a late, late walker!) When he turned 4 years old, then a program called CPSE takes over. (which I forgot what it stands for. Something to do with pre schoool education.) He is still receiving services in a preschool setting. And he is doing great! Talks in complete sentences, his gross and fine motor skills are also much improved!! So if you are concerned, then definetely push it with your pediatrician. You don't want her to go to kindergarden (although she is a long way off for that) not knowing the things she should and falling behind. Good luck and keep everyone updated!!

I think some kids just don't put a lot of store in verbal communication. I've got one who would talk your ear off at age two, the other didn't have much to say until she was four or five. She would growl, point, make sounds like a slurp when she was thirsty to get her point across if she couldn't be bothered to trot out her words. Now they are both in school and have great verbal skills. The only real difference I notice is that the talker loves to write and the non-verbal one is an enthusiastic artist who thinks creative writing is for the birds.
Perhaps you can get her interested in drawing, or develop some signs she can use if words are simply not her forte. If you trust your doctor and he is not worried, then I suspect she is just not a verbal kid. Who knows what other talents that entails though? It will be fun to find out.

Get an evaluation. Every state has Early Intervention for children birth to 3years with developmental delays. In my experience doctors have not taken speech delays seriously when in fact there was something serious going on. You are the parent and know your child the best. Your child could have fluid in her ears which could be preventing her from hearing correctly which could cause the delay. Or she could have some hearing loss. Don't wait for the doctor, get her evaluated by both Early Intervention and a hearing test. The earlier the better outcome and treatment.

Hi A.
You should call Early Intervention and have your daughter evaluated to see if she may need speech therapy. If she is eligible, a therapist will come to your home and work with her, if she does not need speech therapy, it will put your mind at ease. My pediatrician told me the same thing about my son. You know your child better than anyone. I did not listen to my pediatrician and had my son tested. He needed speech therapy 3x a week. He speaks so much better now, but he still needs therapy to "catch up" with other children his age.
Good Luck
K.

A.,

Hi! I am in the same boat...except I have a son who is almost 23 months. He was saying mama, dada, but not directly at us. People told me not to worry, etc, it will come in time, but I knew deep in my heart, that I needed to do something. If you are in NY...Contact Early Intervention. It's the best because it's free, done in your home at the times you say and the quicker you get it done, the quicker services can start. My son was evaluated and qualified, so he has had 3 sessions so far. He is learning sign language to help express himself and his frustration level has decreased since he now has some form of communication with us. My pediatrician didn't recommend it, I did it on my own after talking with a few other moms and just knowing in my heart that I had to do something. He does have an older sister too, and she's learning the signs right along with him so our entire family is benefitting from this! I hope that you find your answers! Good luck, I know how you must feel!

J.

If you are concerned have your county's Early Intervention program come and evaluate her. They provide speech therapy for children who qualify for the program until they are three years of age.

Here are a few suggestions...
Sign language is a great tool for children who are frustrated because they are not speaking yet and are having difficulty communicating. It is easier for them to use gestures than to make the words. They are communicating, so you know they understand and are developing. Go to www.aslpro.com - you can click on any word and watch how it is signed to learn it & teach your child. My oldest didn't speak until after he was 2, but he was communicating with us using sign language until then. When he started talking, it was straight to complete sentences.
Also, her "shyness" reminds me of how my son was. You may want to have her Auditory processing checked. Sometimes, though her hearing may be perfect, she may be having a hard time processing what she is hearing and may be frustrated by that. Hopefully that is not the case and she just isn't ready to say the words.

If YOU are concerned about your child, whether your ped is or not, I would ask for a consultation with whichever groups deals with speech delays. It is possible she is just stubborn and with sibling does not NEED to talk. Follow your gut.

In CT we have a Birth to Three program that the state provides you with the necessary help. I was concerned at about 16 months with my son. We had to have him evaluated twice as the first time he was at the old end of the spectrum and did not qualify for services. At 20 months and still only saying "mommy, daddy, baby" and was evaluated again and this time was at the young side of the age spectrum. This was all at my request (his ped said he would be ok, but it was my decision). Birth to Three sent out a wonderful therapist from Easter Seals who told me he had the vocab of a 10 month old at 20 months. He did do some sign language we had taught him from about 1 year old-and was able to communicate and follow verbal directions. He saw a therapist once a week for about 8 months at which time they had coaxed him out of his shell and got him on the right road to speaking. He is now just over 4 and has the vocab and verbal skills of an adult and WON"T STOP TALKING EVER!!!! Good luck to you and your little one and watch out, once she starts, she may never give your ears a break!