N.M. asks from Dallas, TX on April 12, 2011
21 Month Old Speaking
I have a 21 month old son that's not speaking, he mumbles a lot I mean a lot most of the time he walks around the house "talking" mumbling but we can't understand anything he's saying. But he can answer the phone and say Hello! or he'll walk up to his father and I and start pointing out body parts saying ear, mouth, teeth, eye, nose, feet,belly. He also says No,Da-Da,Yes,Uh-oh,Stop,Mama,Fish,Bird,Dog,Shoe,Sock,Ball,Shirt,Love You,Please,Thanks, Amen, Eat,Up,Down,Potty,Boo Boo,Pee Pee,Me,Mine,Night Night,Bye Bye,So,Go,Huh, One, two, three but he doesn't use phrases at all. I've heard people say that at his age he should be using 3 word phrases but he doesn't and a lot of things he only says when he feels like it. When he wants milk or something to eat he won't say the word, he'll just grab our hand and pull us to the kitchen or hand us his cup and pull us to the refrigerator when I try to get him to form a phrase he becomes really stubborn and just starts to cry until he gets what he wants. Sometimes I get really frustrated because I know that he can or at least he should be able to but he won't and not all of his word are very clear, you get the idea of what he's trying to say but it doesn't come out crystal clear is that normal? What should I do I don't want him to get behind, he's never been to daycare my husband and I work opposite shifts so that we can save money and stay home with him. I'm lost this is my first son and I need some help or suggestions to help with his development please.
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C.P. answers from Provo on April 13, 2011
My middle son never spoke in sentences until he was 3. Then he was never quiet again. I don't think he was able to breathe when he spoke. It really just depends. My daughter was speaking in phrases before she was a year old.
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L.C. answers from Washington DC on April 13, 2011
I used sign language with my oldest son and I although I could communicate basic needs/wants with him this way I feel it delayed his speech a little bit as well. He didn't say half of the words that your son says at 21 months, but at 26 months he just all of a sudden started communicating beautifully. Full sentences and good grammar. You still have time, don't worry too much, but do (as another momma said) take him to the pediatrician and rule out anything medical. Try making him use his words that he knows to ask for things instead of pulling you and making sounds. Tell him he has to use his words and ask if he wants something. Once you figure out what he wants and he says the words, repeat it in a proper sentence for him to help model what he needs to say. So if he says 'milk' you say 'May I please have some milk mommy'. Don't give in to the crying, you are just prolonging the problem. Make him ask. Stay calm with him if he does cry and just tell him you'd be happy to get him his milk when he asks using his big boy words. Be strong, I know it's easier just to get the milk, but you really are only hurting him in the long run and you are teaching him that if he begs you (cries) he'll get what he wants. Not a good pattern to start this early!
Also read books to him! A lot! Mine didn't want to sit still for books but I did it anyway. If you get through two pages, fine. Just try it again later. Sit down and build something with him and talk to him the whole time.
He'll get it eventually - don't worry too much.
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L.L. answers from San Francisco on April 13, 2011
Your son might have delayed speech, and staying home might contribute to it. Did you find a play group in the area to join, or invite neighbors with children of the same age for him to play with? Did you check out story time at the local public library? I know some people teach their young kids sign language, which helps tremendously to communicate and avoid frustration for everyone.
I also had delayed speech when I was a kid, and still remember how frustrating when words didn't come out like I wish (I was about 3 and a half). Now I am fluent in several languages and nothing would stop me talking!
To be on the safe side, check with your pediatrician if there is anything else underline, such as hearing problem.
Good luck!
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L.L. answers from Tyler on April 14, 2011
Hi, N.!
I won't tell you not to worry. That is what we do. We love our kids and want to do anything and everything we can for them. I have a one and only child. My mother passed away when I was eight years old so I have no go-to or back-up. What I have learned with my daughter, now seven, is that there is no schedule or set of guidelines that applies to her. She is an individual. She has met her milestones on her own terms at the right time for her. There is nothing wrong with her. She is beautiful, happy and healthy. The pediatrician has always reassured me that she is doing great. She fell off the growth chart. She didn't start talking until she was ready. You'd never know she was ever quiet now:) And now we are making adjustments in school to help her do the best she can do. I want her to know that it doesn't matter who else can do whatever how well. As long as she is reaching her potential and doing her own personal best she can be proud of her accomplishments no matter how great or small. Best wishes!
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L.D. answers from Dallas on April 13, 2011
Talk to your doctor, if you are concerned.
However, to me, that sounds really normal, because it sounds just like my son at that age - especially the walking around mumbling/grumbling all day! He is now nearly 3 and wont stop talking about everything.
I dont think he should sound crystal clear at this point.
Also, keep in mind, there is receptive and expressive language development. For receptive, can he understand what YOU say? If you say, "point to the light" or "touch the table" does he understand what you are saying?
I really would not be frustrated, upset, or concerned at this point. I think he sounds 100% normal. Also, keep in mind that there is a range of what "normal" is. At this age, my niece was carrying on full conversations with people, but another cousin only pointed at things.
To help him, keep modeling language. If he has "Shoe" say, "Yes, you are right. That is mommy's shoe." Turn whatever one word/two word phrase into a sentence in front of him.
Also, sing and listen to childrens songs - especially in the car, if you are busy.
Limit TV, and replace it with situations where you can talk with each other - playing, cooking, reading... Even though, on TV, they hear language, they dont get to interact with it - so its good, especially under two, to keep it turned off.
Read lots of books and talk about the pictures on the page. I like all books, but think the Little People books, and the Richard Scary (Busytown Books) are good because there are lots of little pictures to look at and talk about.
Talk about everything you do, all day long - groceries, laundry, dishes, etc.
Dont get frustrated/upset with him about the his speaking. He may or may not be being stubborn, but frustration wont help him.
And, if you are still concerned, talk to your doctor. :)
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C.T. answers from Dallas on April 14, 2011
It won't hurt to get him evaluated by a speech / ECI specialist, but he really doesn't sound far behind to me at all. There is a very wide range of normal when it comes to speech development, and boys more often fall on the slower side of normal. I wouldn't try to force him to say phrases at this point, especially if he is visibly frustrated (if he's not, then it doesn't hurt to encourage him to say it, but I wouldn't make it a power struggle). Instead, just repeat back to him in slow clear phrases what he wants. So, he shows you he wants milk, then you say "Would you like milk?" he says "yes" then you say "Yes, you want milk. Ok. Here is your milk" or something similar. Keep reading and singing to him, go to library story time, etc. Again, by all means have him evaluated if you are worried, but I have personally known several little boys who spoke less at that age.
B.C. answers from Wichita Falls on April 14, 2011
all I can say is that he sounds just like my son, who is just fine now, was before he turned two. I was mildly concerned because he yammered so much, but we couldn't understand most of it. And he had many words, just like your son, but almost no phrases, at 21 months. After he turned two, it was like a switch flipped. Seriously, within a month of his second birthday, he began speaking like a completely different child. I was amazed. He is 4.5 now, and his teachers in pre-school tell me that he has one of the largest vocabularies they have ever seen. And he speaks perfectly most of the time - although the morning meal is still "break-tast." Maybe it always will be - and I'm ok with that 'cause it makes me feel like he's still my baby.
I can't say whether you should have your son evaluated, but I would give him a bit more time. I was flabbergasted by the change in my child after his second birthday.
God bless!
B.
A.V. answers from Dallas on April 14, 2011
You should probably start with a speech evaluation from a speech therapist. Does he understand you when you give him simple direction, I.e through this in the garbage? You can have receptive and/or expressive language delay. My son had an expressive language delay. The bottom line is the sooner you get him help the better. Do not be fooled into "he's just a late talker." language delays are very closely related to other learning disabilities. my son went had a hard time learning to read and still struggles with writing and spelling (all related to language. dallas has a tremendous amount of resources. Do not confuse language delay with lack of intelligence( my son's IQ is 140). At this age you can get help from county resources if you do not have insurance. Scottish Rite does excellent evaluations for free but they are for dyslexia (very common language based). I thick they evaluate as early as 4 y/o but they may be able to direct you. You can also plan on doing this eval later because once you apply is takes6-9 months to be seen. Ask all around for a good speech therapist - as with anything it's hard to find someone who is very good at what they do! It's worth it because there opininon will affect the route you/your son takes for years to come. Sorry but I am new to TX and do not know anyone, my son is now 11!
A.D. answers from Dallas on April 14, 2011
He sounds pretty normal to me and according to most milestone development ideas, right on par for his age. Many kids don't start using 3 word phrases until 24 months. My youngest is almost 21 months and has words galore but has just started using phrases, his newest sounds like "dummy" but we have figured out he's saying "down me" when he wants to get down from his high chair or no longer wants to be held.
My oldest was carrying on conversations at 24 months like he was an adult, he was not in daycare and only had a little extra socialization in the form of some mommy and me classes. Honestly it depends on the child and you can work with him but it's not worth making him upset over it. Ask him questions so that he will begin to answer you even if its just yes or no etc. Read books with pictures and point out colors/objects/shapes. Narrate everything you guys do with him including while riding in the car looking out the window.
Does he follow simple instructions and fully understand you? I wouldn't worry too much pretty soon it will all come together and you'll wonder if he'll ever stop talking..
As a side note, my little guy is far more active and into climbing/running etc than my oldest was- oldest didn't walk until he was fifteen months old and is still very timid when it comes to climbing etc but the little dude got caught standing on the back of the couch two weeks ago.
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