21 Month Old - Can't Keep Her in Her Toddler Bed Through the Night

This will go on for a month or so. We moved my son into his big boy bed right after his 2nd birthday. I was pregnant with my daughter and needed to use the crib for her. So I wanted to get the transition well over before she got here. Well like I said it took a good month or two before he would go to bed on his own and stay in bed. I was pregnant going through this transition and thought I was going to die. I did throw him in bed with me a lot of times, a. because my husband travels a lot and he was gone, b. I was just flat out exhausted.
She will get used to it. Create a bedtime routine with her. We take a bath, brush his teeth, he turns his fish on(humidifier has front part that have plastic fish floating in it with a light. THen he turns the light off, I turn the fan on, he gets in bed, we say prayers, then kisses (about 50 of them). Then he goes to sleep.
I tell you all of this in detail because it is literally the same routine everynight. If we don't do one of those things, it's a struggle to keep in the bed to fall asleep.
It will get better, she's trying to adjust just keep doing what you're doing. Yes you might set her back a little bit if you throw her in bed with you. But do that on the nights that you are just completely exhausted and can't hardly keep your eyes open, her in bed with you here and there (minimal) isn't going to be detrimental to the situation.

Good Luck.

2 moms found this helpful

She might just be going through a phase, do you think she saw something that may have scared her? I have a 13 year old that has been sleeping on her own for years but spent the night at a girlfriends house and watched a scary movie, now she doesn't want to sleep alone.
Good luck

1 mom found this helpful

Maybe you could sit with her until she falls asleep and then when she awakes in the night and comes to your room, you could have a little pallet for her to lie on. That way she isn't in bed with you and she can just crawl right in. I did the gate thing with my son, but he was much older-3. I don't think I would lock her in at such a young age though. It may be too scary for her. We had lots of trouble with my son, too, but just give it time and be consistent and things will work themselves out. Good luck!!

I havent changed my toddler to a bed yet he is 16 mos but now I really dread the switch! BUT, all the things you said you have tried are in my arsenal for when the time comes too. All this advice is only what Ive seen on supernanny and similar shows....Dont let her sleep with you! Ever! I know you are soooooo tired but that would be a nasty habit to break. I just say keep doing what you're doing and hopefully soon she will be back into her old sleep patterns.

I wish I could give better first hand advice.

keep up the good work she will eventually get it. trust me i have 3 children and its the hardest job and hardest not to cave in. I have a 2yr old who I am still having trouble with but i am trying to keep in there he''ll get it like his brother and sister did. So I think you are doing exactly what is right.

Stick with just answering and reassuring her... It will take a week or so but stick with it. Just pick your routine and don't waiver from it. Reminder no this is how we go to bed and stick to it. It is hard but she'll be fine once she she realizes she is nto in charge anymore.

I have a 2.5 yo daughter and we went through the same thing. It's going to take some time and you being consistent on your part. We all suffered from sleep deprivation during this transition, but the outcome was great!

There were nights we let her sleep with us b/c we were all so exhausted. I developed a nightly routine for her and that seemed to help. 1st, I would tell her what we are about to do such as bath, put on jammies, read a book(2), say prayers and get a kiss goodnight. After the routine for a week or so, she started getting a little more comfortable with the idea of sleeping in her own room. She did wake at 2:30 every morning for some odd reason and wanted to come in our room. I would let her b/c taking her back to her room only created crying episodes and she was LOUD!

So after another week, the 2:30 wakings became less and less. I made her room a fun place to be by decorating it and hanging out in during the day to get her comfortable and talked about the "BIG GIRL" bed. Like I stated earlier, it will take some time...just don't give up and BE CONSISTENT.

My daughter still likes to sleep with us, but I don't make it a habit. She sleeps with us at least 1 night a week. She likes her bed now and we still have the same routine.

GL!

I can't disagree with any of the comments you have received so far! I have a 4 yr. old & a 6 yr. old and both of them started doing this about the same age...around 2ish...give or take. My dr. said it was VERY normal. They are growing & learning new things every day and their sleep patterns are changing...just like their sweet little bodies. I know it's hard but you will get through it. I agree that her 2-yr. molars may be coming in and if motrin works for ya'll then give her some before bed...if Tylenol works better, do that. My littlest one did much better with Tylenol & it actually made her sleepy. I wish you all the luck & know it won't last too long!!!
C.

We have three girls, 4, 3, and 1. So far, what's worked for us when our oldest was going through this (and we had a newborn to contend with too!)was definitely to stick to our guns and be consistent. When we put her to bed, she would come out almost immediately. It was driving me crazy. I simply did not go do anything else for a couple of nights. Just stood outside of her door waiting for her to come out. When she would, I would simply walk her back to bed with absolutely no words spoken. Not a look. Nothing. Part of what is so inviting for them to come out is the interaction...good or bad! What helped me not to fall off the deep end was to keep track of how many times she came out. What I saw was that it dramatically decreased each night...helped me stick to it! (And the first night was over 100 times...I'm not kidding!)

The problem you're having though sounds more like when she's already asleep. It's really hard to be woken up at 2am and not just invite them into your bed. Like all the other advice though, I would just try to stick to it and walk her back to her room. She will cry and carry on the first couple of times, but if you give her NO reaction and I mean not even a look...she'll eventually see that it's pointless for her to be awake. Also, does she have a nightlight in there? Sometimes the confines of a crib are soothing to kids. When that is taken away it leaves room for 'things' to 'get them'. We also (reluctantly) added a nightlight and it helped.

Good luck!

I would get her back in the crib and use a crib tent... all 3 of my boys have used them and it works like a charm. they cant get out!

good luck
A. J

I'm not dealing with this (yet), so I don't know if this is a stupid idea, but is there enough room in your bedroom to put the toddler bed? I wonder if you can get her used to sleeping on it and then move it gradually to her room. closer to the door each night kind of thing, maybe make it a game somehow? Good luck!

I think like many mom's have said, it's just a phase. My now 3.5 yo daughter did this around the same age as your daughter, but my daughter had been in her toddler best since a year old. Just out of the blue she would fight us to go to bed and would wake and want in our room. My husband and I decided what we wanted our night routine to be and stuck with it! That's the biggest part. You have to both be consistent even when you are exhausted! But it is so worth it. My girl goes to bed now, no fighting, even if she lays in bed for an hour or so before she sleeps and she sleeps through the night! Our routine was to play calmly at "jammie time," go potty (or at least try), crawl in bed and read a book. Once the story is over, say our prayers and hug and kiss goodnight. I reminded her that Mommy and Daddy were in our room and can hear her and that we check on her throughout the night. Then say goodnight and walk out. For the first few days she was hysterical, then the first few weeks she would just wimper and fuss now it's nighttime bliss!! GOOD LUCK and STICK WITH IT!! You can do it!!!

Before I suggest this, do understand that this idea is for the deperate parent..and some may or may not agree, but I wanted to let you know what I would likely do at this point! It may be time for some drugs:) I really like chewable dramamine, you can cut it in half or even fourths depending on her size, and I swear, it works wonders for all of my children. She has had such a disrupted sleep pattern, that in my opinion a good sound sleep has to come some how. Some folks prefer benadryl, but dramamine has worked the best for me, with no side effects. I honeslty might put her back in the crib, but again, this is coming from a mom of 4 who's experience has taught her to keep kids in cribs for as long as you can. It is likely that she was not crying about being in the crib per se, as it has not improved since you took her out, but some other problem started the crying, and now her having wide open space has compounded the situation. Could she have had an ear infection, or pain from her 2 year molars coming in. Maybe add some mortin at bed time too, and see if it helps. Really, I dont believe in drugging children, and rarely do mine get it, but a few sound nights of sleep makes a huge difference for everyone. Good luck ~A.~