20 Month Old Won't Talk

It's just a stage...it will be over soon and he'll move on to something else even more irritating! :) Continue to ignore the behavior or even remove him to his room and calmly tell him when he can use his words he can come out. Tell him that Mommy doesn't understand screaming, use your words and walk away.

Can you imagine if you had the maturity of a 20 month old (which isn't much) AND couldn't communicate needs effectively? Well I'd scream too! My 3 1/2 YO has this problem and she will either cry, throw a tantrum (throw things and scream) or just shut down altogether. She's autistic, BTW.

Speak calmly to him and try to figure out what he wants and encourage him to say it. But at 20 months he's not going to be saying much anyway, even without a speech delay. For instance, if you know he wants a cookie don't try to get a full sentence out of him. Just ask him to say cookie. My 18 month old doesn't say cookie yet, so again, don't try to expect too much from him!! signs are great too- my 18 month old uses the signs for eat/food and more and I'm trying to get her to use more.

S., mom to 5!

My daughter did the same thing, she about drove me out of my mind. I finally got to the point where I told her that it made mommy's ears hurt and I wasn't going to be around her until she stopped. So I would put her in her playpen and walk outside until she stopped screaming. It took a little while but she finally quit. And when I came back in I would ask her if she was all done. If she was then fine I would come back in, if not I turned right around and went back outside. I have a window in the room where the playpen was so I could keep an eye on her. But you can go into another room too, and it will get the point across. It's hard to do at first but it's well worth it if you want you child back instead of the banchi that currently resides with you.

My youngest also started talking late. We found out after doc visits, etc that basically my oldest was talking for her. My oldest would also allow the little one to communicate to her through gestures and grunts. Therefore, my little one had no need to talk!!!! With more encouragement on our behalf, she began talking more. No problems now!!!

First, my son would only grunt and use baby signs until he was 24-25 months old, then started reciting the Gettysburg Address, so all in due time. Boys are generally slower to talk than girls anyway. The important part is that he is effectively communicating with you in one form or another.

As for the shrieking. When I worked in day care, we had a method that seemed to work really well and very quickly. When the child screamed, we would guide them to the door, put them outside whle holding their hand and us staying inside the door and tell them to scream as loud as they wanted. (they'd scream and stop). "Are you done?", "No? Okay, scream some more but make it really loud!!" "Okay, now are you done? Yes? Okay come back inside". Then tell them we can scream outside, but not inside. Inside is for inside voices. Then, just stick with it EVERY time. No matter what. Eventually, they will get tired of getting put out the door while holding your hand. Also, if they are talking very loud or screaming, WHISPER!!! They have to stop screaming to hear you. This works great for my DD, the door works great for my son.

I'm no expert, just a mom, grandmother and former pre-school teacher and my thoughts are to check out www.dars.state.tx.us for information on early childhood development. Their literature and services are free and it can't hurt. Pray for peace in your home too! :-)

HI L.,,,,,
Boy i bet your at wits end? All i can say to you is have him tested for mental reasons or phycical reason. Best of luck to you
Blessed L.

I second that. Make an appointment with ECI. You don't need a referral. You can "refer yourself." They are great. No charge but if your insurance will cover it, they will file with them (they need funding from somewhere). If it's not covered by your insurance, there's no charge.

Ask your doctor for a referral to a specialist. He needs to be checked thoroughly in every area. If all of that comes up OK and there is no reason for this behavior, (usually there is a reason) then you must begin working on extinguishing the behavior. Tell him ahead of time that if he screams he will be put in time out. Show him the time out.I would remove the child to a place where he would be contained, playpen or something and then remove myself from his presence until he could speak in a normal tone. Or address me in something besides an ear splitting shriek. He is doing it because it ultimately works. No child does a behavior unless it works for them and he has this working for him.
Do not do this until you have had him checked by someone beyond the regular doctor because you do not want to do this if there is something really wrong.
Is there other indicators of something? Does he avoid eye contact and touch? If so I would have him checked for autism.
The shrieking is one of the signs.

Hey L.! I'm a speech-language pathologist and it sounds like your little one in fine developmentally for speech and language....they should say their 1st word @ 1 year...and it sounds like his vocabulary is growing nicely. You wrote that he is able to say "mama", but isn't using it always in the appropriate way....it sounds more behavioral to me...he's learned the shrieking gets him what he wants....most likely quickly! If I were you, I would either ignore him when he does it...so he knows it's not working for him anymore...or say, I will talk to you when you stop screaming and your voice sounds like mine. He'll probably just continue to scream...expect it'll only get worse before it gets better! Good luck...I think he's fine speech wise....if you're still unsure, you can always have him evaluated.

It is a phase and the sooner you ignore it completely the sooner it will go away. If he gets no response other than being placed in his room...he will try a new way to get you to respond. Hopefully it will be words or at least gestures! Hugs from a mama of a screechy little girl.

L., My oldest son did not talk until he was 3 and he actually had to have speach therapy and went to a PPCD program for children with speach delays. I am not saying your child needs this, but I wanted to tell you that we used sign language to help Hunter communicate and he stopped the screaming episodes because now he could communicate what he wanted. We found out that he was screaming because he was frustrated that he could not talk and tell us what he was wanting. Alot of people have mixed feelings about the sign language, but I have to say that it worked wonders for us. My son is now 9 years old and he does still have to have speach therapy, but for the most part is a very healthy normal 9 year old. I hope this helps.
Mac

You got tons of responses and I was honestly surprised at how many people suggested that something could be wrong with your son. I don't think anything is wrong with his speech development- my daughter didn't say much at that age either and she is now 2 1/2 and speaks in 4-5 word sentances. If you really think there could be a speech dely- talk to your pediatrician first before you call in all the speacialists. As far as the shrieking- I agree with some of the other mom's-it's an attention getting tactic- show him that he won't get your attention- ignore him, leave the room, guide him to another room.. what ever you choose stick with it.

Good luck! Don't worry, I'm sure your little guy will be talking up a storm before you know it and most likely argueing with you about everything like my daughter!

I think you have gotten a great combination of advice so far. I would definately look into a possible speech issue with your doctor. One of our neighbors just went through this with her 2 year old (now three). He has made unbelievable progress. His turned out to be needing tubes in his ears. Anyway, both of my boys (now 4 and 6) went through this stage and had no speech developement issues. The screeching was a small part of it and whining was a large part of it. I treat both of them the same way. "Mommy doesn't understand you when you talk that way, when you are ready to say it in a normal voice (no screeching, no whining), I will be able to understand you better" Then I turn my attention elsewhere. I sais this every time!! Even when I totally understood what they were saying, that way they understand that the issue is with the screeching and whining. Good luck. It worked 90% of the time with my kids, and the other 10% of the time they threw a fit and I said "i need you to go to your room until you can calm yourself, when you are calm you can come out." The rule in my house is if you want to whine or cry(unwarranted) or scream, you can, but in your room, not mine (which is everywhere but their room).