24 answers

20 Month Old Crawling Out of Crib and Twins on the Way...

So here's my dilemma. My almost 20 month old is a fearless climber, and last week started climbing out of the crib. I know about the crib tent, which a friend swears by, however my husband doesn't see it necessary- thinks he just needs to learn that it's not acceptable to do. (Let me note that, he only does it when he goes down for a nap or bedtime- not during the night if he wakes up, or anytime AFTER he awakes from sleeping... I know some of you are thinking there's a safety issue, but we have a video monitor, and this is not an issue as I've seen him crawl over and out, and in many cases, hold himself over the crib, pause, and land himself back in the crib. He knows what he is doing...) Now, here's the twist. We are expecting twins mid-August, so this also plays in to sleeping arrangements as well as purchases of furniture, and what will also be best/doable for having two infants around. Initially, I liked the idea of him being in the crib as long as possible so that he was contained, however if I need to diligent about keeping him in the crib, is it just as easy to make the transition to a small bed NOW before the twins arrive? (Let me also say that, he's never been one to just lie down and get himself to sleep- he usually cries for 2-5 minutes, and then passes out... and he also isn't yet able to open his door). SO, the issue becomes- try to get back to where we were, or make the leap forward? I guess my hesitation is that, he's a busy boy, and can't really see him just going to sleep on a toddler or twin bed. I'm envisioning having to lay with him until he goes to sleep, which may start a bad habit that will be a nightmare when the twins arrive. Has anyone had any success stories in a similar situation? Thanks!

(One more item: one concern I have with transitioning him is I know I'll need consistency... for the next month we'll be out of town on weekends. During the week, I try to go help my husband on T/Th at his office, and M/W our two neices are here (his SIL and I swap daycare as she does some work for my husband as well... this will only be for June and July) So not great for consistency...

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well, here's the latest: It was obvious by the responses and my husband's lack of enthusiasm over the crib tent, the only way to go was forward. Since his crib converts directly to a full size bed, we opted for the twin bed. Thurs. was his first night in the new bedroom in the new bed. Went a little shaky, and on top of starting the transition, he now got the door open for the first time. So, we're off to get knob covers, and now we're out of town. Just hoping to get a consistent routine worked out to make it as smooth and quick transition as possible... Thanks so much for all the input- will keep you posted.

Featured Answers

You might as well transition him to to a toddler bed now, while you have a little time to work on it. With consistent training (firm but kind) any kid can be trained to stay in bed. You just have to find the right motivation. Or, just leave the side rail down on the crib and let him use is as a regular bed - letting himself in and out. My first child climbed out at 16 mos. and we did this for a short time before transitioning to a regular bed. He was a great climber and did just fine (back in the days when there were no video monitors and audio monitors were new!).

SAHM of seven, 23 yrs - 20 months

We had a similar problem before my son arrived. We decided to make the switch to the toddler bed to try to adjust her before the baby came. Initially we sat in a rocking chair in her room keeping her in bed until she fell asleep. It worked after a while but it was a lot of work. We gradually moved the chair out of the room. She had a meltdown and we ended up just closing her door. We tried a baby gate on the door to slow her down but she scaled that too. Now we put her in her bed read her two books say good night, shut the light off and shut the door. She is great and stays in bed and goes to sleep.
We have a baby monitor in her room and a safety knob on the back side of the door so she can't get out. My son is 5 months old now. She used to play forever before passing out on the floor for naps. Night time -for a long time she slept next to the door on the floor. It broke my heart but after a while she started going back to her bed after talking to us under the door (we ignored her)
Whatever you choose it is a process and just takes a lot of time. Not really what any expectant mother wants for advice. Congrats on the twins and good luck.

My daughter is 20 months as well and has been sleeping in a toddler bed for the last 2 months. She did have some problems with napping at first because she was able to get up and play as she wanted but I have found that she loves her new bed. Now when it is bedtime, she will lay in her bed and roll over away from the door and within minutes she is asleep. I would suggest doing it before the babies come so there is less confusion on him. You don't want him to think that because the babies are here he now has to give up his bed. Hope this helps....

More Answers

I would transition him to a bed before the twins. I think it will be harder if you wait and you won't be able to watch to monitor as much to see when he is climbing.

My friends were in a similar situation. They removed everything from the room except furniture. All the toys, books, diapering products, anything a child could see as entertaining were out, so he didn't have the option of playing instead of sleeping. They also saftly latched his dresser so he couldn't pull all his clothes out. He isn't able to open the bedroom door so he has to stay in there until someone lets him out.

Obviously you'll have an adjustment time. I would advice not laying with him. That will be an even harder habit to break.

It's time to give him a twin bed so that he is safe when he will, inevitably, climb out L.. Punishment won't work on a two year old ~ nurturing will.

So you are going to have twins soon... now more than ever a sweet and loving bedtime routine that ensures he is asleep before you leave the room will help him to stay in bed. Consider the following:

Children need their brain activity to slow down in order to calm down their bodies for a good night's sleep:

Pick out CHAPTER books that are calm but interesting: Winnie the Pooh, Francis, Little Bear (boys LOVE Little Bear). Tuck him into bed ("the story won't start until you are tucked in...") and sit by the bed (or in it) and read aloud, slowly and softly.

Show him the pictures if you want to but don't let him touch the book - this is story time and he needs to create the pictures in his head.

He will most likely fall asleep before you are done reading for the night, of course, so try to remember where you left off.

If he doesn't fall asleep before the end of he chapter, read another OR sing him a sweet bedtime song or two. Mom's bedtime songs are the best! If you feel you can't sing, bring a tape/cd player into the room and put on quiet word-free music. He'll love falling asleep with the music and the images of his new book friends in his head.

Also, get him into the habit of choosing one of his favorite stuffed animals or dolls to listen to the story with him in his bed so he has a story buddy. He may change animals/dolls with every story, or may choose the same one for an eternity. This will be the last thing he will do before climbing into bed... knowing that his friend is missing the story will give him a feeling of importance and reverence.

Now HE is in charge of someone else who NEEDS him to be in bed in order to have their own good bedtime experience. When he has someone to sleep with and nurture, his bed will become an important place for him to be.

L.- congrats and keep trying.
My twins were out of cribs at 9mo- we just railed a double and they were great. Hated running into the sides and woke up all the time.
Get yourself into a twins club if you're not!
We have great ones in the metro area if you're from mpls area.
About me- 47yo mom of almost 7 yo twin girls, med. prof. and wellness coach.
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Time for a toddler bed and a door gate, L..
Almost two is not too young for a little bed. Our crib turned into a toddler bed, so it wasn't a huge adjust ment for our little ones. They were both in toddler beds around that age. If it's low to the ground, like all toddler beds are, just put a bed rail up on the side away from the wall. That way they'll get used to the new set-up slowly. You won't need the rail for long. Have fun with it!

My daughter was 20 months old when she, too, started climbing out of her crib. We switched to a "big girl" bed at that time. We got a daybed so she was enclosed on three sides. It had a trundle underneath so we pulled that part way out until she got used to being in the bed and we were fairly certain she wasn't going to roll out in the middle of the night. She actually slept better when she didn't feel the need to escape.

My son starting climbing out of everything at 17 months, and he destroyed the crib tent! We got him a toddler bed, but he is way too young for that. We went to WalMart and got a little tent, it's 5X6, and only 4 feet high, and only cost like 18 bucks. His crib mattress fits in there and he absolutely loves it. This may sound strange, but it's the only thing I could think of to keep him safe! Good Luck!

My son was in a bed just before 20 months. He, however, was pretty good at going to bed.

I still think, since you have twins on the way it would be best to transition him now. You will probably have a few nights of putting him back in his bed many, many, many times. But you'd probably rather have a few sleepless nights BEFORE the twins arrive as those will be sleepless enough and you don't need to deal with a bed transition at that time too.

I've read a few books on several aspects of sleep an sleep habits and if you really stick with it, you should be able to have your son staying in bed in a week or so...but you could be putting him back into bed 40+ times at first. Keep a log and you'll see that it's less each night and he'll eventually get the point.

What I did with my daughter was this (at the time she was the same age): I gave her a todler bed to sleep on once I moved into a place of my own. She did not like it at all the first little bit. The first night I had to rock her to sleep and then put her into the bed. The only problem then was trying to find her the next morning cause she had fallen off the bed and onto the floor. I ended up finding her under the bed as I had frantically searched my whole apartment for her. After about 2 weeks she quit falling off the bed and realized that I wasn't going to rock her to bed everynight.

Another thing that you can do is put the todler bed into his room and slowly transition him into it. You will have to start by putting a baby gate in the doorway so he doesn't go anyware that is unsafe if he does get out of bed. I don't suggest just shutting the door cause of safety issues, especially since he cannot open the door if their is an emergency. When my daughter was 3 1/2 was when we finally put her into a twin bed just cause that way she was sleeping on a bed before hand and then I didn't have to wake up to a big thud on the floor.

Good luck and I hope some of this advice will work out for you. A.

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