My son has always had sensory issues. I noticed the same things at that age. He was very picky about clothing, no tags on shirts, comfortable clothes, ect. When he reached 41/2 or 5 he began displaying agressive behavior towards other children. No matter what I did or said, how I disciplined him, nothing seemed to work and I was frustrated. This past spring I took him to a therapist and she diagnosed him the first day we met with Sensory Integration Dysfunction. I didn't like the term dysfunction as if there was something wrong with him, but I read the book she reccommended, The Out of Sync Child and it helped so much! I felt like there were finally some answers to all of our frustration. We started occupational therapy in May of this year and within a month I noticed a huge improvement. My son is not as sensitive to clothes. I can get him to wear underwear and socks! He can go into resturaunts and crowds without total meltdown. He still has senitivities, but is learning how to manage them and how to read his own cues.
I would reccommend reading The Out of Sync Child and looking into OT. It has done wonders for our family. I know how frustrating it can be to have a child with sensory issues. Feel free to e-mail me if you need to talk and would like to connect more on this issue. ____@____.com