S.K. asks from Stillwater, OK on April 04, 2008
2 Year Old Still Needs Momma to Fall Asleep.......
I have finally gotten my almost 2 yr old out of my bed and into his. However he will only sleep in itif I sit beside the bed, while he plays with my hair until he falls asleep. Then I can get up and leave the room. Some night's this takes only a few minutes other nights it takes an hour to an hour and a half. I do not know how to make him get to fall asleep on his own. I worry that with him in a toddler bed he will get out of bed and get into things if I just close the door and per say let him cry it out. Any advice will be greatly appericiated.
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J.M. answers from Dallas on April 05, 2008
"Good Night, Sleep Tight" is an awesome book with wonderful suggestions for getting babies of all ages to sleep alone and well. And she's not a cry it out person or a let them do whatever they want. She's a very balanced author which is great. I got it at the library. Good luck!
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K.S. answers from Dallas on April 05, 2008
first start doing as you are, but do not let him touch your hair, after a few nights be sure you start sitting farther away from him. Next stand near his door, with the door open. you get the idea...
each step should last 3 nights, and do not revert, as this will show him what he needs to do to get his way.
This can be made more pleasant by telling him what your expect and sticking to it. I know he is only two, but say something like, "mom stay by you, but no touching my hair." Then, "mom will stay in your room, but over here, not that close."
If he tries getting out of bed, firmly tell him no. If he doesn't listen, give him a swat on his leg. Stick to it. There are many what ifs that could go on with a two yr. old. If you decide to try this, and if you need anymore ideas to meet any what ifs that pop up, you can email me. Take Care,~K.
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D.B. answers from Dallas on April 05, 2008
Boy can I relate! Have you tried the "I'm going to go do ________ and be right back to check on you" trick yet? I used to do this: the usual bedtime routine and would lay with my son for about 10 minutes. If he was still awake, I would say "Ok, mommy has to go do the dishes now and I will come right back to check on you when I am done." Your son is old enough now to understand this. Leave and pretend to go do the dishes (or actually do them!) and then go back and check. Do this routine every 10-15 minutes if he can take it. You may need to start at leaving the room for 5 minutes at a time. Whatever makes you comfortable. This will take some time and a little fussing on his part, but eventually he will get used to being alone in small spurts and fall asleep when you go out of the room to do something. It worked for us! Oh, and when you move him to a toddler bed, just make sure the room is 100% safe and use a babygate at the door. At this age I would often go in my sons's room in the morning to find him asleep with his blanket by the babygate on the floor, but he evetually stopped doing that. It is normal and an adjustment. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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D.G. answers from Dallas on April 05, 2008
I am only 23 but i do have a five and three year old and my three year old has to have me fall asleep with her she does not sleep well. Whatever you tell him to do when it is time for bed you need to be firm it may hurt but he will get use to it. It took my daughter all of two weeks to get over this "mommy lets go to sleep" thing. when i put her to bed and i say stay in bed and check on her to make sure she falls asleep she eventually got use to it and now falls asleep on her own......Good Luck
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C.E. answers from Dallas on April 05, 2008
my middle child did this...
we started off by her bed and then every other night I would back the chair up a little...then I moved to the I'll be back to check on you". She is now four and a great sleeper :)
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S.M. answers from Dallas on April 05, 2008
This is a process that will take time. If he's had you this long, you just have to be patient, but consistant. You've done a great job by getting him out of your bed. The next step is on it's way! You've already realzied that by sitting next to him that works. So, start there and slowing transition to your ideal situation (book, prayers, kiss, and you leave for example). First, try moving from sitting on his bed to sitting next to his bed. Tell him you'll stay in his room as long as he stays in bed. If he gets out of bed, put in back in and leave the room. Next, a video monitor, works great! You can actually keep an eye on him. As soon as he gets out of bed, call from outside the room and say "get back in bed, please" He will probably be a little freaked out b/c you know he's out of bed and he didn't see you, but that's great! If he keeps getting out of bed, then you have to discipline him as if he kept doing something you asked him not do that wasn't involved in bedtime. While you are sitting in the room, you can transitiont his way...I'm going to sit until you fall asleep...then after a few nights you can bring a timer and say "I'm going to stay for 20 minutes", then shorten the time each night, and, before long, you'll be able to leave after the last kiss! Once you get it worked out, the key is to be consistant!
Good luck!
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J.M. answers from Dallas on April 05, 2008
"Good Night, Sleep Tight" is an awesome book with wonderful suggestions for getting babies of all ages to sleep alone and well. And she's not a cry it out person or a let them do whatever they want. She's a very balanced author which is great. I got it at the library. Good luck!
1 mom found this helpful
C.B. answers from Dallas on April 05, 2008
There are several different methods you can take and it just depends on your child.
The most drastic is putting him in bed and leaving him. If he gets out of bed you just walk him back to bed. This would require you to take everything out of the room that way he has nothing to play with. I have heard of some even putting a gate up so they cannot get out.
Next option, you put him in bed and tell him you will be back in 5 minutes to check on him. You come back in 5 minutes and tell him you will be back in 7 minutes to check on him. You come back in 7 minutes and tell him you will be back in 10 to check on him. You always come back and check on him, but the plan is for him to get bored enough to fall asleep on his own.
The third option is to sit in the room with him, but where he can't touch you. You asure him that you will sit in that chair across the room for his bed and watch him go to sleep.
I started out with the third option and ended up moving to the second option because then I was still able to get things done in between checking on my son. Hope this helps.
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S.L. answers from Dallas on April 07, 2008
Hey S., I am a mom of three and my older boys, now 6 and 4 are good sleepers, but have not always been. They both started out in our bed and at one point we had 4 in our bed. They now sleep in their room and happily all night. I know some may disagree with this, but, I laid down with my boys until they were asleep. It made for great bonding/talking time for us. They do not "need" me to do that anymore, so I am very glad that I had that time. Time will go by so fast that this if you decide to take this advicem, you will not be sorry. It seems like yesterday my 6yr old was coming home from the hospital. SO< cherish the time girl, you will not get these times back.
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