2 Year Old Still Acts like a Baby HELP

Have you tried just taking his bottle away? If you don't give him a bottle, its not like he's going to make it for himself.

What I believe is that kids act in a way that gets them what they want, so he must be getting something by acting this way. When he throws a fit, do you pick him up and coddle him? Do you give up and let him have his way? Its hard to know how to handle it without knowing those things, but if that is whats happening then my advice is to stop rewarding the negative behavior or it will never stop.

Have a little ceremony and throw away the bottles and give him a nice package to open with sippy cups in it.

hi S.,,
youand the babysitter need to get together and do some serios disiplne planing, when he throws a fit just walk offthen put him in time out,,as for the bottle take it away give him big boy sippy cups. i thinkthose2 issue should be addressed before you can potty train him
good luck L.

Hi S.-

First of all you need to look at each behavior individually and don't try to tackle all of them at once.

The bottle - get rid of it! If he is dependent upon it at naptime or bedtime you can keep it for those occasions for a little while longer but otherwise he should be using a cup. Once you have him on a cup during the day take the bottle away at bedtime too.

Potty training- he's still young, I would wait until he shows signs of readiness.

Tantrums- never, ever give in! Let him throw the tantrum. Just make sure he is not able to injure himself or others. If he gets what he wants after a tantrum he will continue to throw them. Are his communication skills age appropriate? His tantrums may be a result of not being able to communicate his feelings and needs to you. If so, you'll need to help him to learn how to communicate appropriately.

Restaurants - avoid them until you have his behavior more under control at home. Then once you're ready, experiment at a restaurant like McDonald's not one that requires a lot of patience on the child's part. At home teach and expect appropriate table manners. If he is allowed to be loud and wild or sit on your lap at home at mealtime he will expect to be able to do the same in a restaurant.

My last piece of advice...if you feel that you have done everything you can to set limits, be consistent and model appropriate behavior but he doesn't seem to be able to control himself talk to your pediatrician. He is really too young for any sort of ADD diagnosis, but when all else fails it's something that should be looked at.

Good Luck,
K.

Edited Comment:

Hey S.: Thanks for the email and clarifying the age of your kids... (Your son is the baby). So I've been thinking over your question, and I was reminded of a conversation I had with another mother friend of mine about how our girls (both young 2 yr. olds, as well as the other girls in their daycare class), seem so much more mature than the boys their same age... More verbal, more control of their emotional outbursts, more balanced with motor skills, more self-aware of the difference between "big girls" versus younger kids and "babies". Child psychologists always say that the brains of girls and boys are different... Maybe there is some other nervous system wiring or brain development happening in boys at this age that just takes longer; perhaps boys just stay in what we see as a baby stage for 6 months longer than girls..? Maybe this extra maturity time allows boy brains to develop that particular affinity for math and science... or at least the fascination with destroying & exploding things!!!

So if you are use to how and when your daughter and step-daughter reached milestones, it might be frustrating to have the same expectations for your son. I still think however, that his tantrums (restaurant behavior) center around the realization that it gets him extra attention from mommy and daddy, especially if he has to share you with 2 older kids. I'm curious... Does his fits or clingy-tantrums come on when the attention gets diverted away from him and to one of your other kids?

I would start to ween him off the bottle. I had a dickens of a time with the bottle to sippycup transition with my DD, and found that using straws worked wonders in getting her interested--especially is she could pick the color to use and stick it in the sippy cup herself (bought sippycup sport bottles and replaced the straw insert that came with it with the regular plastic straws).

Perhaps reading some potty books to him will help prepare him for when he is closer to 3.

Good luck!

Initial post:
Do you have a younger child too? Sounds it could be sibling/new baby jealousy, but you only mentioned 2 of your 3 children. In any event, sounds like he's figured out that this behavior gets him more of your attention.

My boys were both still babyish at 2. My youngest will be 4 next month & we've only recently been able to enjoy going to sit down restaurants. I've often envied my friends with girls because they seem quieter & more cooperative; so if your only frame of reference are his sisters, well...

Time to switch to a sippy cup. Boys potty train later than girls. 2 seems a little young to me. Ignore the tantrums & crying for what he wants, but this is important... You must be consistent. OK to distract him, if you just can't stand it anymore, but never give in & give him what he wants. You will be rewarding the tantrum & teaching him to do it again.

To me 2 is still a baby, he sounds like a normal toddler to me. Now would be a good time to transition him to the sippy cup. As far as the tantrums, most toddlers throw tantrums because they don't know any other way to communicate or get your attention. You need to start being firm now on the proper way to behave or the proper way to ask for things. He's probably frustrated with his own inability to tell you exactly what he wants.

A good book to get is Parenting the Strong Willed Child, it has some great tips on how to curb this type of behavior.

Remember each child is different, and boys mature at a different rate than girls. It is completely normal for a boy to not be ready to potty train until age 3 or more. He's probably not ready yet, you just need to watch for the signs that he is ready and not push him.

Enjoy your baby while you can, they grow up so fast!

Well first of all let me say that I totally understand your situtation, I have a total of 17 neeces and nephews on my husbands side of the family and know what it is like to be around crying children...plus I have 3 of my own. As far as the bottle you might want to put some type of liquid that you know he dislikes and provide milk or juice in a cup for a second choice. I tried this with my daughter at her first birthday and after 2 days she was ready for a cup. In her case I put some v-8 juice with lemon, and right away after her first taste would get the sippy cup.

Now about the tantrums you might want to be a bit harsh with him as far as taking him to the restroom and calling his attention. I don't believe in spanking a child for his behavior, but a good talk is always necessary. At the age of 2 he should be able to understand you and if this does continue it will get worst for you later. It might help if you mention to him that you will take away one of his favorite toys if it continues, and if it does you should follow through.

As far as the potty training I really can't help you out with that but you might not want to force him to try. My daughter was not ready till about the age of 3 when she started head start. The few times that I would take her she would hold it and eventually ended up getting an infection. So you might want to give him some time for that. If you really feel that it is necessary for him to learn then dad should be a great example for him.

Temperament of children is unique, and personality is developed over time. Birth order is no small thing. Google birth order. Is he the baby of the three? Check his developmental milestones through Early Childhood Intervention, or ECI, to make sure he has no developmental delays. If there are some identified, accept their referrals and assistance before he turns three.

Sorry, S., but it sounds like your son is in charge- at 2 he has you wrapped around his finger - what will it be like when he's 16! I suggest you check with your pediatrician on advice for a guide book on child discipline - there are many out there! Start guiding your child now by giving him choices - like do you want your milk in this sippy cup or this one - toss the bottles so you can't revert. Not sure potty training is right yet - just talk about it and read books about it and have dad play an active role also. Have him help choose a kid-friendly restaurant - do you want to go to McDonald's or Burger King? Play pretend restaurant at home for some meals. You are ultimately the one who will show him how to behave - just try to keep your cool, do not get angry - parenting is the hardest job you will ever take on. Good luck!

I love the advice about taking him out of the resturant until he calms down. Only give him one warning with a consequence then follow through. Make sure that you explain to him what your expectations are for behavior before you go into the resturant. I reserve special toys for him to play with at the table and because eating out is 'special' I bribe him with a gum ball or playing a game after we finish our meal. Just make sure that you go to a kid friendly place until his behavior improves... so that you and your older kids don't get to frustrated.

It seems you've just discovered the difference between raising little boys and little girls. Honestly, though, he's acting like a 2-year-old, and most babies that age don't have the social graces to be in nice restaurants. So, until he does, stick to family friendly places when you take him out, and hire a sitter when you want to go to nicer places.

As for potty issues, most boys won't go potty until 3 or 4. Again, the difference between a boy and a girl.

And tantrums... terrible two's.... have fun! There are all kinds of books out there that offer advice, and you can take all of it or some of it... whatever works for you, just keep in mind that in the end he is a 2-year-old boy, and he will do what little boys do.

I'm a working mother of 3 too...sounds to me with the third you are giving in a bit......The bottle, well take it away. It was the same thing here too. But i finallt took them and threw them all away and told him another baby needed them . I also took him to HEB to pick out a NEW cup and he was a proud 2 yr old...the tantrums well you need to get a little firmer and tell him big boys go out to restaurants and if he can't behave you will find soneone to sit with him at home.....Next time he acts bad follow up and next time get a sitter, just to prove a point in a loving and firm wasy...Good luck !! K.

Mom, he sounds like a perfect 2 yr old to me. I had my daughter first, and girls are sooooo different. They are a bit calmer and are fast learners. My boys were doing exactly what yours is doing at 2. They are now 3 and 5 months(twins) and they are potty trained and having occasional temper tantrums.
I have 3 like you and sometimes between work and the other kids our patience runs out. I am so busy with work and helping my husband with all the paperwork for his own business that I just decided to re work the family budget and do with out multiple trips to Target and dining out.I now have a budget for live in help 5 days a week. This might be helpful for you and the whole family. Light housework gets done and babysitting . It is perfect! It is not that expensive. I would re think your expectations, as a bottle and diapers is pretty common at 2.We learned many years ago that 2 year olds are not made for reataurants unless it is Chick filet and he can eat for 5 minutes and play for 30.I wish you well as I know how hard we have it. I am sure Dad is not asking anyone for advise and how to do things better. They just do not think the way we do.

One good book to read that may help is "The Happiest Toddler on the Block." It's a quick read, especially if you skip ahead to Part 2 past all the research info.

Hey, I have a 6 yr old who still acts like a baby, what's the problem?

Just kidding. Actually, some of this is out of your control (his personality and clingy-ness, and readiness for potty training although you can introduce the idea through books, rewards, etc.) and some of it you can control - get rid of the bottles and use the sippy cup that most resembles his bottles - they use them almost the same anyway.

Cherish this time and don't rush, he won't be a baby forever and you'll someday miss those days he was "your baby." That's what I'm trying to do.

And forget the ADD worries, kids have VERY different pesonalities and development among siblings so don't fret about that. I'm sure he is fine, just different from his sister.

Take care.

S.: First of all get rid of the bottle. That right there
lets him act like a baby. You can't potty train a child who's
still drinking bottles. Boys are a little later in potty
training than little girls. But your 2 year old acts like a
baby because you allow him to. You can turn this around, it's
not easy, but one step at a time. Bottle problem first - let
him pick out his new sippie cups that he'll be drinking from.
Let him throw away the bottles for his brand new cups.

Tantrums pretty much go with the age. Two year olds are
seeing what their limits are. Personally, I'd make him
stay in his room until he's through having his tantrum. It's not nearly as much fun to throw a tantrum with no audiance. Does he sit on your lap at home when he eats? If he does
then there's your restaurant problem. If not, start out
at a "not so busy" restaurant and make him stay in the
highchair until YOU finish your meal; then pick him up
and leave. Don't take any of his food home. He'll have
to eat the food at home.

Good luck, I'm sure he's a very sweet boy; he just needs
to know the rules and the limits and you, my dear, will
have to stick to your guns. If you go back and forth,
your looking at a long struggle; if you stick it out,
you'll have your little darling back in no time at all.

Wow! Stop babying him, I found out from my daughter in law who is very firm with her 2 year old, when she says NO it means no and etc. This makes it so pleasant because the baby understands rules very well. It will be very difficult since this child has gotten its way for a long time, but firmness will start turning him around and then all of you can enjoy each other.

He acts that way because you LET him. I am sure he does not fill his own bottle.

I read your responses to your situation. I know just how you feel. I myself have a two-year old who is still drinking a bottle and still acts like a baby. In fact, I try to tell her she's a big girl and she tells me she's a baby. Anyway, I know that I need to just throw away those bottles and it everything else will finally fall into place. We have to remember they are only two. I also have two girls who are 10 and 14 years old so she does get babied a lot. I know you'll finally get it worked out as I will too but the bottle is the first step. Tantrums are normal. Hang in there.

S.,

Depending on the age of your child, potty training may not be appropriate! He may not be ready, and so don't force the issue! As for his behavior, set and enforce some rules, limits and exectations! When my son was two and a half, my in-laws and I were on a road trip, and eating in resteraunts! He threw a tempertantrum one night, was warned him either grandma or Mommy WERE GOING TO SIT WITH HIM IN THE CAR UNTIL HE GAINED CONTROL! It only took two times of sitting with him for no more then five minutes before it sunk in, this isn't fun! We were also willing to sit there and tough it out! They need to know who is the parent and who is the child!

Good Luck, and be patient and persistent, it will pay off!!!