2 Year Old Son Struggling to Not Poop

Updated on January 16, 2008
S.J. asks from San Jose, CA
21 answers

Hi everyone,
I have sent a request a few months back about my son being constipated and not going #2 for 2 days at a time and then it being extremely hard for him, He is now going everyday but still it's a struggle for him, he now seems to cry and his whole body stiffs up and after all of that he hasn't gone. Usually he goes every day but I have heard from other mothers, friends that their kids have gone through the same thing at the age he is at, But it pains me to see him cry each time he feels the urge to make a movement.
He's a picky eater but loves toast and cereal, he eats well but just picky on what he does eat.
He drinks plenty of water, not a lot of juice.
I have done the prunes in his cereal (He won't eat it alone) and I have also tried the Befensure in his milk, that seemed to help but I was worried about giving it to him every day (1 time a day)
My mother said I should bring him to the dr, but I have told the dr about him being constipated and she just said lots of liquids.
So I don't know if I am overreacting or should really be concerned.

Wondering if other mother's have been through the same thing with their children at 2 years or older.

Thanks in advance for any advice

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So What Happened?

Hi,
I wanted to Thank everyone for the advise, Much appreciate, Makes me feel better knowing I wasn't the only one going through this (Didn't think I was either, but helps to know other's have). My son is finally starting to go poop without saying OUCH. he's been going regular since Monday with no pain. So I am hoping this is the end of it. We also did start putting Flax Seed oil in his juice so I think that helps him.
He has a yeast infection and we are treating that, I think he is on his way to recovery, Thank god!
The advise on Probiotics and Flax seed oil has helped him so much,

Thanks again to everyone that gave me such good advise

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Try giving him a little Fruiteze (see www.fruiteze.com) which is smooshed up raisins, prunes, and dates. It is tasty and does wonders for everyone in the family in keeping us regular.

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J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,

I have a 2.5 yr old son who has a similar issue with his #2's. A couple months ago, I noticed he had a little blood in his BM and went to the doctor. She suggested, along with the usual, (a lot of liquids, prunes, pears...etc,) plum juice and flax oil daily to help soften the stool. I give him a blueberry smoothie (high fiber!!) every now and then. I also avoid the constipating foods: bananas, rice, apples and toast.

He definitely doesn't struggle anymore. He still doesn't go every day, but he no longer associates pain with it.

I know what you're going through. It's so difficult to watch them struggle like that. I hope this helps. Hang in there.

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J.F.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.! I know your pain!!! My 2.5 year old daughter went through this (I'm not sure if we've really passed this stage, but the last month she's been regular) She sometimes would go up to 4 days without having a bowel movement---she started dilibrately holding it in...arching her back, etc. Of course this makes the bm that much more difficult to pass--it's a vicious cycle. Anyway, I'm not sure I have a solution, but I can offer you sympathies and a few ideas. My daughter did not like prunes either, but she very much loves to take medicine---anyway, I used a medicine dropper to feed her prune juice everyday. I even let her "do it" herself. She loved to drink the prune juice this way--it was tedious, but worth it when you see the pain they put themselves through. I also bought some Flaxseed Meal---very fibrous--at Trader Joes, and sprinkled it in everything. During her bouts I would hold back on dairy--milk, yogurt, cheese and give her more fruit and whole wheat things. I believe it becomes a mental thing for them, so be consistent with the prune juice and hope for the best. Also, exercise and water could make it easier to pass. I would think not going for 2 days wouldn't be too much cause for alarm, but the fact that he is holding it in and crying because it's painful warrants some action on your part. If it becomese a pattern, with longer stints in between BM talk to your doctor. Mine immediately prescribed a laxative without asking any questions--I was not happy about that and decided to try altering some of her diet first. So far it has worked out OK. I did a lot of research online, and all I can tell you is this is not an unusual problem, apparently a lot of 2 year olds go through this. Go luck to you!

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

HI S.... poor baby!! That sounds miserable! I'm sure you've tried all of the advice about diet and you said he's a picky eater so I'm not sure about how to advise for that. I half a glass of warm prune juice can help. Sometime a sensitivity to milk is the cupprit. Have you tried switching to soy or goat milk?

It sounds like he has a hard time going because it hurts to go, so maybe investigating something that can make his feces softer and easier to pass? Have you tried lactulose?

I did want to mention, the one time my daughter became constipated and was having a hard time passing it, I was told to put her in a warm bath. It worked like a charm to help her go poo.

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E.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Our pediatrician and GI doctor recommended a small dose of Miralax everyday for both of our girls. One girl does not like to poop so she holds it and the other is on medication that makes her constipated. Miralax is safe because it stays in the colon and does not cross the membrane barrier. It pulls more water into the poop to make it softer and slightly liquid. I would rather deal with liquid poop than risk my daughters tearing themselves with hard poop. We are using it for my one daughter who hates to poop to change her behavior pattern of holding it. She is learning that it is ok to poop and it does not have to hurt.
Check with your pediatrician if you can give Miralax which is now available with out a prescription. Good luck.

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A.K.

answers from Fresno on

if he likes yogurt, try getting some with live cultures in it, like bifidus. brown cow makes really good yogurt, you can find it at whole foods, or any other health food store. good luck.

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

S.,
Poor guy! My son had issues with constipation, and his doc said that he was avoiding pooping because of the associated pain, which only made the constipation worse. BTW, you are not overreacting; your pediatrician is underreacting. Go to a doc one of your friends really likes for a second opinion. We were lucky enough to see a pediatric gastroenterologist (sp?), and he said that we should use a small amount of a glycerin enema (half a kid's one or a quarter of an adult one) when my son was having a really bad time (available at most drug stores). They cause cramping temporarily but then everything comes out quickly and easily. No struggle can counter the glycerin enema. He also put our son on Miralax powder mixed into his milk. Constipation issues in kids this age can be really tough because kids, understandably, don't want to go through a painful process and can make the constipation worse with this resistance. Also, he may have anal fissures, making even soft poops painful. He really does need a doc, preferably a specialist, to check him out. Don't let a lazy pediatrician dismiss you. Trust your instincts! Good luck.

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M.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Many times constipation is caused by antibiotics which destroy the flora in the intestines. Giving your child yogurt that has good bacteria in it, not Dannon or store brands but all natural kinds can rebuild the flora. The suggestion to add Flax oil is good but ground flax is even better because it also adds a mucous that aids in the actual working of the bowel. It is available in most natural food stores but must be kept refrigerated. Also psyllium powder does the same thing. These do need liquid to work well.

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T.M.

answers from San Francisco on

S.,
I can really understand what you're going through! My (now 5 years old) was constipated from day 1! What I finally did when she was still an infant was to take her to a homeopathic Dr. who prescribed a homeopathic remedy that worked! I don't remember what it was, but this doctor REALLY helped. After infant ages and into toddlerhood she continued to have issues and the latest, greatest we give her is Himalayan Goji juice. This has really helped to keep her regular. Believe me, that with the constipation over the years came a fear of pooping that has been a challenge to overcome. I have really worked with her in the bathroom to get over her fear and to relax while allowing her body to pass the stool. They get afraid that any time they make a poop it will hurt. Just stick with it, encouraging him and as his stools soften he'll realize that it doesn't always hurt to go poop. At this point, Maddy is doing really well. I know to really watch giving her too many complex carbs (bread/pasta, etc) in her diet...thankfully she loves fruits and some veggies. Hang in there with him and if you want to know more about Himalayan Goji juice, just let me know. Also, you might look into homeopathic solutions before you try prescription meds.
Good luck and let me know how you do.

T.

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G.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I would take him to the Doctor and tell her about the crying and the pain. I used to have that problem when I was little and it turned out that my muscles were contracting closed when I needed to go. I held a little warm hot water bottle to my tummy and that helped.

Does he eat any fibre? Is there any way he could eat somethng a little oily?

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D.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,
I have found a wonderfully healthy way to keep your bowels nice and soft. I make a drink of flaxseed oil and cottage cheese. It is one part oil to two parts cottage cheese. You put the cheese in a blender, it its very dry cheese you can add 1 part milk blend it together, add the flaxseed oil and blend until the oil is no longer visible. It will look like thick cream. Next I might put in some frozen berries, or a banana blend it up nicely. I also grind up fresh flaxseed and throw it in at the last minute.

Barleans sells organic flaxseed oil, they grind it fresh, and keep it in dark bottles and refrigerated so it stays fresh. It is full of the essential oils that are so beneficial to ones good health. You can make it taste like strawberry icecream or something like that, add whatever flavors your child likes. You will be setting your son up for a very healthy life by making sure he has the essential oils in his diet. It really is tasty with the fruit mixed in.

I don't think you're overeacting in not wanting your son to suffer what should be an automatic body function.

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K.A.

answers from Sacramento on

I haven't had this problem with my son trying not to poop, but he's had his share of constipation. Some kid-friendly foods that we've found are great for loosening stool are pear and oatmeal (also peaches, but I know those aren't in season right now). You might also try prune juice if he will tolerate it; he might like that better than the cut-up prunes. Avoid dairy, toast, and bananas; these can all contribute to constipation. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Stockton on

Hi S., A good friend referred me to your posting as my two year old son has the same problem. It began around 6-9 months and has not improved, I'm sorry to say. On our pediatrician'a advice we have tried both mineral oil in his food or drink as well as Miralax to no avail. At our last check up our Ped determined that it wasn't constipation but rather a fear of pooping due to a painful bowel movement at some point. On occasion my son has gone six days without going, all the while doing his best to hold it in. He knows that he has to go, and can articulate it, but won't. We've used suppositories when several days have passed. We have stopped the Miralax (can cause stomach cramping) and just make sure he gets one glass of apple juice (not watered down) a day along with plenty of water. I am limiting milk/dairy for a few weeks to see if that helps. We also sprinkle bran (from the bulk foods area at the grocery store) on everything he eats. I am frustrated when told he'll have to just grow out of it when there are so many kids that seem to have this same problem. I am always looking for alternatives and reading up on different conditions that may be the cause but haven't found a solution as of yet. It's frustrating and sad to watch your little boy go through this everyday. I think it just reaffirms their fear.

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M.T.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.!

I had the same issues, my son has been eating Activa for about 3 months now and it seems to be working, no more issues or pain for him!

Hope this helps!

Happy New Year :-)

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J.H.

answers from San Francisco on

My son was like this at this age (he is almost 16 now!). I took him to the dr. who suggested that I give him a large sippy cup with half Kern's nectar and half water once a day. He liked it and it seemed to do the trick. It's high in corn syrup, but that is the ingredient that seems to help.

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S.E.

answers from Sacramento on

Hello, Please talk to oyur Dr, They can write a Rx for Miralax powder and they tell you how much to give the child . And I gave it to her 2 times a day, mix it with juice so they dont really taste it. I am telling you , it really works. My daughter would tense up and we actually would have to bend her legs up towards her chest to help her, it was horriable.. But this stuff really works............

Good luck S.

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J.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Some kids can't digest milk very well. Perhaps rice milk or soy milk might be easier on his system.

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M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I have twins and both of them have been constipated since they were 1 yrs old and still are at age 3. They have been on Miralax daily since the age of 15 months. If I skip a day of it they will get immediately constipated and they are huge liquid drinkers (36 ounces/day). My daughter just went 4 days without a bm and finally did after double dosing her with miralax.

Not sure if it is common but there are definitely others out there with the same problem.

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T.M.

answers from Sacramento on

HI S.,
A little about me, I have a 7 1/2 year old and 4 year old twins. My 7 year old has had the same problem since he was about 2. We tried putting mineral oil in his juice and that did help some but if you do it too many days, it causes very messy poops. Try very hard not to stress on it when he is going through it, just help him to be relaxed and calm. I would hug him as he sat on the toilet or diaper and used my calm reassuring voice with him. That did help. We never did find a complete solution, because he is now 7 1/2 and still will wait 2-4 days until he goes. What we do now is give him a timer and he has to go sit on the toilet every day for 5 minutes. Guarenteed he does his business! I wish I had some other words of wisdom, but jsut try to be calm at all costs! Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

First of all, pooping every day is overrated. Not everyone poops every day, or even every other day, and maybe some of the struggle you are both suffering is because such an issue is being made about his regularity. Is he pushing and straining because he really has to go, or because he thinks he should for your sake? I did this as a kid because my mom was obsessed with daily pooping, and I ended up causing a lot more problems with my GI tract in the process. Is your son confusing gassiness with a need to poop? Maybe he thinks he has to go, but it's just gas higher in his GI tract working it's way out. Try some of the diet remedies already mentioned, including juice. The sugars in juice attract more fluid into the GI tract and help with constipation. Also try de-emphasizing the whole issue with your son. Maybe between the increase in fiber and fluid, and the decrease in attention and stress, he'll relax enough physically and mentally and things will get moving. If after a few weeks, he's still having problems, go back to the doc. And if the doc doesn't take the issue seriously, ask for a referral to another one.

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C.A.

answers from San Francisco on

my daughter had the same issue when she was about 2 1/2 - 3yrs old. it got to the point that we had to put mineral oil in her juice.

i would try that first. ask your doctor first. that's what my daughters pediatrician suggested at first.

the only thing that worked for my daughter was actually taking her off regular milk. we switched her to Soy milk (silk brand). her problems decreased immediately.

hope that helps a little.

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