2 Year Old Sleep Issue

K.,

I STRONGLY disagree with the first two responses you got - but some moms just aren't as compasionate and caring as others are. I had this same problem erupt with my 2 1/2 year old son when he was about 16 months old. I tried to "break" him of it, and it didn't work, instead his nighttime anxiety got worse.

My advice is to parent your child at night, just as you would during the day. If they call for you, respond and comfort them. This will not go on forever, and it is important that your children know that day or night, you are there for them and you care.

Look into attachment parenting - I think you will find gentle parenting solutions that will help you cope with this, and will allow your child to get through this phase.

Nobody said parenting was going to be easy...or that you'd get a good night sleep - I think all moms have to come to grips with that eventually.

3 moms found this helpful

Hi Kristan,
I have vivid memories of my childhood sleeps. I often had vivid dreams that startled me or moments in my sleep where i did not want to be alone. I would walk to my parents room and scoot into bed with them. My mother refused so i went to my dads side for awhile until my mom put a stop to that too. I was very young(3) and i remember it vividly. I remember how i loved my daddy so much because he was there for me. I remember being confused and hurt by my mothers reaction. Having said that, It never affected my love for either parent.
But i remember in those moments when i would wake up alone and could not go to my parents.
Having experienced that and now seeing my daughter start this behaviour, I go to her with empathy and guidance. At first i brought her to my bed. Doesn't work in our house. So now i rock her in her room, talk to her about being brave, how rest is what helps her grow and that what she is feeling will pass. I sing and put her back in her crib.
This behaviour just started, so whether it works or not is a mystery.
I wish you well.

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Hi K.:
I disagee with both the other mothers responses.If your daughter was having no sleep issues,until recently,then Its a good sign ,there is a problem. You said your husband is a fireman,and you have the children the majority of the time. Two year olds,are imaginative,and can develope new fears,as they mature. Wether it be dreams,that she worries are real, or she misses having her daddy around at night.The gate,Makes her feel cut off from you. unable to reach you,creating more of a fear,or insecure feeling for her.She could have a fear of the dark, where she didn't before. My point is, If she was fine before,something is causing her to be sleepless and unsettled. You need to calmly sit with her, and find out, what shes worried about,and try to comfort her fears.You aren't going to resolve this,or build a trusting relationship with your daughter, by ignoring her calls for you, or putting a gate between you and her.I wish you and your darlin daughter the best

2 moms found this helpful

my daughter did the same thing and the cause was lack of sleep. since she was over tired, she woke up way too early. a sleep consultant advised me to put her to bed at 630 every night for a week and it worked! she started sleeping til 7am again. you would think it would be the opposite -- that since they wake up early, they need less sleep so you would put them to bed later, but its actually the opposite. put him to bed super early for a week and i bet he will sleep in! best of luck to you.

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How can you break the cycle? She is two! She is growing and changing every day. Don't expect her to remain the same, either with sleeping, eating, behavior... two is a busy time both internally and externally. It sounds as if you have been very lucky until now. This is not a discipline issue. Be a mommy, regardless of what time it is. You have gated her in - she cant even come to you when she wakes up, so you need to do what mommies do and go to her. Better yet, get rid of that gate.

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Hi K.,

We had the same issue in our house when our daughter was 2 years old. For 2 months she would wake up and have us come in her room. We eventually realized that nothing was 'wrong', it occurred to us that she actually was doing it because she could and she knew that we would always show up. We were at our wits end because we didn't know how to break the cycle - we had tried everything. Finally a friend of mine asked me if I had tried 'time out'. Wouldn't you know it, one 'time out' for 2 minutes at 4 am worked, and from then on the cycle was broken - it was almost like she asked to be stopped - if that makes any sense. 'Time Out' worked for us, it might not work for others. Now she's 4 years old and has been a great sleeper. There are so many phases - our phase now is having a nightlight. There's always something... :o)
When we parent and show them the way, there's never any doubt in our kids' minds how much we love them.

It sounds like it's become a habit because you are going in to her when she yells. You're on the right track with the baby gate. Keep the baby gate and get one of those things that you put on the door (shaped like a "C") so the door cannot be slammed. (You can find them in the baby proofing aisle.) DON'T go in when she starts to scream. She'll soon realize that you're not coming and she'll fall back to sleep. Good luck! :)

Maybe your daughter only needs about 10 hours of sleep at night now. My daughter (going on 22 months) generally only sleeps 10 hours at night, she goes down between 8:00 & 8:30 P.M. and wakes up between 6:00 & 6:30 A.M. She takes a 2-2 1/2 hour nap during the day, from about 12:00 P.M. to 2:00-3:00. Sometimes she does wake up during the middle of the night, maybe she's dreaming, and usually my husband goes in and settles her down.

Hi K., First of all she is doing this cause she can, If she is screaming for you and then cuts it off and smiles as soon as she see's you then you know there is nothing wrong with her, she is just trying to get her way, if you are hurt ao scared, she can not turn the tears on and off like a faucet. She needs to know if it is still dark it is still bed time. the only problem I see is with the guard gate, she can't go to the bathroom if she needs to.

I agree with Julie. You need to get your mad face on and tell her it lay down until the sun is up. Do not smile at her, look her straight in the eye and tell her to go back to bed.

~N.

Hi K.,
When my children were very small, my husband had to travel a lot with his work. I bought 2 alarm clocks that had room for a picture and you could record the voice. Then we would give daddy a message from us on one and he would give us a message from him on the other one. Also I had daddy tape a saved message on the telephone answering machine greeting the children and praying for them at bedtime.I played this for them every night at their bedtime and it really helped to hear daddy's voice.
Since your husband is gone alot for work,maybe something like this will help. Also look at his bedtime routine on the nights he is home and see what he does and do the same things when its your night to put the kids down.
Another thing that might help, is to put a blanket or a small sleepingbag on the floor by the foot of your bed that your child can come to and sleep on if they need to feel more secure or if they have a bad dream.
When my kids call for me or cry in the middle of the night I go to see what they want. If they have had a bad dream,I sing them Jesus Loves Me and then I tell them a Bible verse.Then I pray with them and put them back to bed.Sometimes they just liked to have their back rubbed while I sang them some songs.
Dreams can be scarry to small children.
If your child is fine and just throwing a tantrum, get yourself some ear plugs.
One of my friends told her child that Mommy has special ears and could only hear when they talked nicely. If they were yelling she told them she couldn't hear them and continued to ignore the way to loud child. Her child stopped yelling. D.

All children are unique and needs are different in each families environment. You have a wonderful toddler that is learning and experimenting her developments. You have an infant that is also becoming more active. Yes, their needs and attachment for their nurturing mother can be stressful.

Find what time patterns would best work for you and your children. If you are already reading and settling them down at night as a ritual. (great!) Perhaps try telling her that Mommy will back soon to kiss you again, and do it! Should she cry out at night. Call back right away, mommy is here, go to her. Should she slam the door, tell her calmly, that it is not okay to slam the door. Tuck her back into bed, "Mommy, loves my little girl." Be consistent to work into a habit that will be both nurturing for all of you.

Even if Daddy is away, perhaps he still can be in this role as by making a phone call (if able). Or by keeping Daddy's picture by her bed, and kissing him goodnight as well. Decide what would work in your home environment that you are able to do, before starting teaching. Good Luck and don't forget to get the rest if you need it.

Hi K.!
I empathize! Both my little boys are little risers! If your daughter is old enough, try using a chart. I set up a digital clock in my son's room and drew a "6:00" exactly like the digital clock's 'font' on a sticky and put it underneath the numbers on the clock. Then I told my son, that if he could be quiet and try to go back to sleep until the clock said 6:00, he would get a sticker on his chart (or you can just use a calendar). After he filled up his calendar we went to the zoo!
It worked for me! Good luck!

P.S. on a side note, I find it amusing that people premise their advice with a judgement of other people's character as lacking compassion. Just because we don't parent the same way doesn't make any of us less loving and caring of our children. That's why we go on these forums! ALL of us have a common goal! We all want to raise our children as loving, compassionate, healthy, well adjusted, etc., human beings.

Please moms, just give your advice, not judgements.