2 Year Old Not Speaking Yet...

Hello,

I am not sure if anyone else has responded yet but my husband was just reading an article on a condition called "Selective Mutism". This may be what your daughter has. She may need treatment or therapy and it is recommended that you do not let it go on for too long without some form of assistance. You can look at www.selectivemutism.org for information on this condition. That and talking with your pediatrician may give you some answers. I am sorry but I do not have any personal experience with this or I would be happy to give you more information. I would love to be kept posted so I can keep you in my prayers. Take care.

Sincerely,
Vida

2 things:
First have her checked by your pediatrician, because if there is a problem (Autism or speech delay) the earlier she starts therapy the better!
My oldest was speaking at 4 months and then started clamming up around age 2. He was 4 before we realized he had speech delay (caused by several ear infections as a toddler) and 11 before we were told he had a form of Autism called Asperger's Syndrome. Yes he was smart, hit all the other steps on time, but what he did as an infant faded dramatically when he was a toddler/preschooler. We are now so far behind the curve on therapy that he will never be the man he could have been.

Secondly, the theory that a child will not starve themselves is bull. If there are other reasons behind her apparent stubbornness, fighting back will not make her eat.
My second child was extremely picking from the start about food and would go for up to 36hrs without food as a toddler. We have since learned that he has extreme sensory integration problems that include aversions to textures, even in foods. At age 10 he now also has OCD but has managed to battle his own demons a bit and is able to eat a slightly broader list of foods. Again, therapy for him at an earlier age (instead of idiot pediatricians telling me to "force" him to eat) would have helped desensitize him and his life would be a lot easier now.
Don't wait, find out if there is a cause, and if not THEN you can be stubborn back.
~M.

Children all develop differently. However, I think it is very important to talk to your pediatrician and have an evaluation. There are many reasons she may not be talking. There may be nothing to worry about, or it might require attention. My pediatrician wanted my first to have 50 words at 18 months or she was going to have him evaluated. (He only had 5 words at 15 months. She said she wasn't "concerned" yet, but wanted to watch carefully.) By 18 months, he had 50 words and kept right on going. I say all that only to say you should talk to a professional and get an expert opinion. Especially at 2, kids are stubborn. I would worry you could cause more delays by requiring her to talk to get what she wants. She's going to hold out because that's what 2 year olds do.

Have you taken her to have her hearing checked? My son was 2, not speaking other than the mama and various odd noises... I had taken him to his pediatrician (from birth) at 18 months for concerns about his hearing and was told he was fine. He responded to cues, movements, everything like a hearing child. When he was almost 3 I took him to another physician and begged for a referral to an Ear Nose Throat specialist - who tested my son in a sound proof booth (using lights along with sounds)- and told me my son could hear... I refused to leave until they did the test again without using the lights and made it so he couldn't see the technician in the other room. Thankfully they did and my son was set up for a procedure that tested his brain waves in response to various sounds... turns out my son had profound hearing loss. Totally normal, happy and healthy in every way. It may seem like a long shot, but it's totally worth checking out. // My son is now 18, a Senior in High School, works part-time at Safeway and is a Police Explorer... He is Deaf and fluent in American Sign Language... Totally normal, happy and healthy. // Like I said, worth checking out.

She probably doesn't talk because she has other siblings around. She will talk when she is ready, be patient and enjoy the quiet time. My daughter will be 2 in September and she says very few words as well but the ped. has insured me that she is fine and this is normal when there are other children in the home.

First a question -- Do you have an older child? If so it could be part of the issue. My youngest refused to talk until he was 2 because often my older child would request the things they wanted like juice ect.. Then one day he just started talking, in full sentences! He had been learning the whole time, just not using what he knew! Once he got tired of being spoken for, he started speaking for himself.

Call your Dr. and get her into speech therapy. Or, you can call PIC (Parents Infants and Children) This is actually a speech issue that can be easily addressed with the proper help. But I do believe the longer you wait the harder it will be, because it will become an even bigger control issue especially when the "independent age" starts. :) Hope that helps

Just to allay your fears a bit more, my oldest (now 10) didn't talk either. She did the same as yours is doing. I wasn't worried because all her other motor skills were normal or advanced. She started saying the alphabet for the first time at 3 1/2 years with her 1 year old sister! Don't panic! She'll talk when she has something to say! :)

L., I totally agree with Heather. Please do not assume your child is being stubborn & certainly do NOT deprive her her of things until you know for sure that she doesn't have a speech/communication disorder. It is not developmentally appropriate for a 2 year old to only have 2 words. She should be saying something more, even if it isn't necessarily intelligible. Many people told me that I should wait it out with my son & that he was just a late talker. This advice can be detrimental to a child since early intervention (before 3 years old) is key for overcoming many delays. With my son I refused to wait - even when the doc told us not to worry. I got a speech evaluation. Come to find out, he has Childhood Apraxia of Speech - one symptom is "loosing speech" like you mentioned with your daughter. For a child like him it is even more detrimental to withhold things until he verbally requests it. Like Heather said, you should talk to your pediatrician, local Birth to Three program, or a Speech-Language Pathologist. Also, this website is a really useful resource for me www.apraxia-kids.org. Good Luck

Maybe it is time to ask your doctor about checking out therapy?

HI L.,
I would suggest calling your local early intervention and having them do a free evaluation to see if she might have a speech delay. I realize you said she can say words, but some times just having someone else see what you are going through can give you a different outlook as to what is going on... Good luck. I know how stubborn they can be. My daughter is that way too.

My son is a very smart little boy and when he turned two years old he wouldn't say a word! He'll be three in a month and a half and is repeating EVERYTHING we say and talks ALL the time now! A little part of me wishes he still didn't say anything sometimes! :) It seemed like one day he wasn't talking and the next he was!
I was worried about my son until my mom, who's had A LOT of experience in early education, told me not to worry about speech therapy unless he's still not speaking and saying sounds well at around 3 1/2 yrs.
Don't worry and give her a little time. EVERY child is different. It sounds like she's stubborn just like my son is and she probably doesn't WANT to say anything because YOU want her too. :) Keep working with her and good luck!

Dont worry, it is completely okay that she is not talking. She is not behind. She is probably just an observer and really smart. I had a client years ago that was a pediatrition and her son did not start talking much until he was 4! And now he is almost a genious.

L., first try to stop reacting to her refusal to speak. It is typical for toddlers to find some means of "control" in their lives, as this can be a highly changeable time for them and so a bit scary. Take the judgement out of it and just enjoy your daughter for who she is right now. Children do everything in the right time for them, when they are ready. She knows you are emotionally charged about this~ let it go. It's not about you. It's her issue and she'll work it out. Be kind. Don't react. Set limits you can live with and then be truly sad for her if she makes a bad choice and has to live with the consequences. (don't say I told you so~) Look up Love & Logic Parenting~ it teaches you to let your children own their problems and give them the control you don't need, so you can control the few things that truly matter. Children should not be "broken" like horses. She will need her inner strength as she grows up~ don't sabotage that. Relax. She will talk when she wants to and when she realizes it won't affect you either way~ and that you love her regardless. She's only two years old. Good luck~
L. P.

I read a similar incident a few months ago, but the reason was not a good one, I would look into it medicaly and do some research on the health sites, I think it was in an old baby issue I got from a doctors office. or think if she has had any trauma such as bad touching experience. As far as I know, it is not normal for children to regress. I have raised 4 and have 2 grands and yes they have different levels of starting to talk and such but don't take it lightly until you know it is not something else.

Hi,

I work in the Infant Learning Program here. I recommend finding the one in your area. If you cannot find it - you could contact the school district and they could tell you how to find them. They will most likely screen her and then depending the screening, they might do a full developmental assessment to determine if she meets the eligibility requirements for services in your area. If she does, they most likely have teachers or Speech/Language Paths who can see her. If she doesn't they will likely have ideas to help you encourage her to use verbal communication.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have a hard time finding the Infant Learning Program in your area and I can try to track it down at work for you.

Two things come to mind as I read your position.

1. Not to worry, my nephew wasn't fully engaged in the oral language until he was 3 yrs old. We were all so worried for him and his parents, etc, etc. Come to find out, he was TAKING IT ALL IN and then spat it all back out with extreme fluency and comprehension when he finally decided to join the speaking world.

2. It appears you have a power struggle of some sort on your hands. That would be something worth looking into. Children are striving for independence all that time and this is just about the age it starts. Perhaps giving your daughter simple choices throughout the day will help. E.g. Do you want to wear this outfit or this outfit? Would you like the pink or green cup? Tell me how you want your hair styled today.

I encourage you to continue the sign language, as well as staying firm about not giving in to the whining. Once we give into that - we have lost our parental position and nothing we say is taken seriously after that b/c they know they can "break" us. (Smart lil' ones.)

If she chooses not to speak to you - let her make that choice. If you cannot understand in order to meet her needs, explain that to her. Children are much smarter than we give them credit for. Once you and your husband display that her silence is not an issue for you - she will not care to keep silent.

GOOD LUCK! :O)

PS: If she chooses to skip meals, she will survive. Again, let her know SHE made that choice. Do not express anger or frustration over it. Staying calm - especially in the most frustrating of parent/child struggles has proved the best medicine for me and my husband, as well as our child. The outcome is always positive.

I'm with Jena. My grandson was is the same way. I would talk the your pedi and get things going. We also make our grandson respond with sign laugage. He's in speech therapy also. But at this age it's a must that you get started early and get her help if thats what she needs. Children are so important.

Good luck.

L., most likely your daughter is just waiting for the right time to speak. If she is truly language-delayed, then your pediatrician can guide you through your options. I know that it's frustrating for you, as her mother, but I hope you will be patient and realize that it is nothing that you or your husband has done. Some kids just need a little extra boost to get them going. Others just need time. I think that we parents have come to expect so much from our little ones, that there may be some stubborness as a result. It's OK if she isn't speaking as much as the neighbor's child. It's not a good idea, as a rule, to be comparing her to others. Again, talk to the doctor. If he or she can find nothing wrong, please relax and be pleasantly surprised when your daughter does start talking a blue streak. May she never run out of things to say. :)

I thought my two year old (who was also very inquisitive and intelligent) was just being stubborn when she would only use a few words. So I didn't do anything, I assumed it was a phase. At three and a half she was talking but was very difficult to understand and was not using the vocabulary other kids her age were using. I got her screened through our local school district and discovered not only was her speech almost two years behind but because of that delay she had developed cognitive and social delays. She is now only six months to a year behind her peers and is in Kindergarten (in a homeschool program) but still has to receive speech therapy and tutoring to help with the cognitive skills.

My advice is: Don't put it off!! Take her in to see her pediatrician, even if you think she is being stubborn. You don't know if there is something else causing a speech issue.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get a second opinion. Go to the school district and ask if they do Early Childhood Screening. Contact another doctor. Consult your own Speech Therapist. This could be any number of things and the sooner you address it, the sooner you can hear your daughter's voice saying much more than momma and dadda.

My now 6 year old daughter was not speaking much when she was about 2 and I asked the doctor about it each time I went in. The doctor asked if she knew 60 words, which she did, and said not to worry about it. But I did. She read books with me, did puzzles, played with her dollies, did everything else that a normal kid does; she just wasn't communicating effectively with anyone.

I realized that she had her own language. It was babble to most people, but it was her own language. This went beyond just nonsense. She would say something that I wouldn't understand and I would ask her to repeat it. Most kids would just say something else; she would say the same thing...multiple times. It seemed like babble, but it made sense to her.

When our son started kindergarten about 3 months before her 3rd birthday, I saw a flyer at the school for a Child-Find Screening, which I signed her up for. If only I had known about that sooner!!!! After multiple visits and a couple of observations/interactions, they told me what I already knew..."We don't understand her."

She was speaking in Mean Length Utterances (MLU) of 1.6 words (average number of words in a sentence or phrase). The average for a 3 year old was 3.2. She was diagnosed as Speech Delayed and we enrolled her in a Developmental Pre-School. The pre-school was not the best fit for her, but the Speech Therapy was amazing!!! Part of her program was to integrate her into a classroom (peer) setting to promote her utilizing the speech. We did move her to a "community preschool" and she improved dramatically.

After a year and a half on her IEP (Individualized Edcuation Program), our daughter was tested again and she passed each assessment with no concerns for her well-being. When I tell people that my adorable girl hardly spoke 3 years ago, they are in utter shock. She is the "life of the party", as much as a Kindergartener can be.

Please go with your heart. You know your daughter and your pediatrician sounds like mine...going by the book. Your daughter will benefit from your intervention.

I can only share my story...my son when he was about 1 year and some months, started speaking in full sentences. We tried to contain our amazement and called our pediatrician who said, let's see what happens and don't make a big deal. We didn't, but he probably picked up our first reaction. He continued to talk in sentences for 2 weeks and then quit. He re-started talking when he was 4 years. OMG! With the help of our Homeopathic practitioner at the time who was treating him constitutionally for his whole person, we didn't worry so much and just treated him normal. He's now 22 years old and is just fine. He is dyslexic but he graduated from high school with a scholarship in German! Go figure. Is now a aircraft mechanic and doing very well in his new profession. He was also one of the best students in his Aircraft program! So, baring any wierd diseases, she's probably just fine. All I can say is pay attention and let her spirit speak to you. I also recommend homeopathy and naturopathic medicine to keep the immune system supported and not suppressed naturally. Good luck and keep talking!

hey there im with you. ive got the same issues with my son. he turned 2 in the beg. of april and he knows what everything means and he gets his point across but isnt talking. its maddening isnt it?! the one thing ive done which has at times made my little one mad. but if he wants up and is lifting his arms up i'll say up? do you want up benjamin? he'll look at me and say yeah. so i'll then say ok then use your words and tell mama up. sometimes it goes on for a while. i mean if he starts crying actual tears then you know its time to quit and work on it later or work on something else. Also i dont know if youve got a barnes and nobel book store but im sure you could order them online. but i found some flash cards for our kidos age. that are just simple words like, cat, dog, cup stuff like that. b ut good ones and they are also the sensory cards. with soft, sticky etc. they are awsome h e loves them. to put them away i sit and tell him what each one is. and this has become a nightly thing.

good luck

Dear L. T,
this will sound funny, and I am talking as a teacher and a Gramma but in my experience several children that I know of needed to have their tonsils out and then began talking up a storm. Just a thought. M. - Barb

I would certainly get her to a doctor right away! That can be a sign of Autism. Can be a sign of subborness too but check it out!

My daughter was the same way. And I worried too. She had a few words that she would say from time to time, but at age 2 she just didn't talk. She *did* make animal noises for the correct animals, said her own version of words sometimes (dah was more) and used a few signs.

Now she's a chattery three year old. Give it some time. If your pediatrician isn't worried, you should relax. If everything else is normal (interaction, play, hearing...) then she's probably just taking her time.

If your really worried I would definately speak to your pediatrition. I was the same way though, at 2 my little guy was saying a very few amount of words but within a few months his vocabulary grew leap and bounds, Im talking 3 word sentences, and he is 28 months now... every child is so different through. Just give your ped. a call to see if he cant be checked out. :) Good luck!

If she isnt making any baby sounds or any noise at all I would be concerned with her hearing. But from experience, I can tell you that all children talk at their own pace. One of my children didnt talk and then all at once was saying sentences!! They usually start with 1 and 2 syllable words, ball, mama, ets. Or they shorten the words, wa for water, etc. Take your own at home hearing test. Stand behind her and clap, say her name in different tones. If you are sure its not her hearing, then be patient mama!!! Good luck and God bless.

I had a similar situation. I am still amazed that my now 7 year old didn't really talk until he was about 2 1/2. We were always sure he didn't have any real problem: he acted very smart and was "normal" socially. He just didn't talk. Then at around 2 1/2 the child began talking in complete paragraphs. This has turned out to be a part of his personality. He has learned other skills seemingly overnight, but very proficiently. He seems to want to do things "right" before he is willing to do it at all.

So, although it is frustrating, and expecting your child to sign is absolutely reasonable, you may not be able to do much to get her talking. I felt that the more I tried, the more he resisted. He needed his own time and space. I have three other children who all spoke at a much more "normal" time. So this one really through us for a loop... but it passed. So, no great advice here. Just letting you know that someone else has been there, and it might just cure itself.

Definitely talk to your pediatrician. I'm not saying this to scare you. My twin boys only spoke 5 -10 words at 2. We took them to therapy and ending up finding out they were autistic. We had no idea mostly because they had their own twin language. What we didn't realize was that they couldn't understand us. Neither of them could look at a book and point to things you asked them to. We went through lots of screaming because they couldn't communicate and were getting frustrated. My advice would be to get some professional opinions and then you can decide what to do.

Get her a speech evaluation ASAP. My daughter needed speech therapy for about a year. The sooner you are on top of it, the sooner they are speaking and feeling good about themselves. Speech is usually free through the school system. Don't worry!

She sounds similar to my daughter, who didn't speak much until a few months after she turned two. I think there's a wide variation with respect to the age kids start really talking. It's frustrating, but you might just want to give it a couple months and see if she starts talking, without making a fuss or trying to force her to talk. She knows it bothers you at this point. If after a couple months you want to try encouraging her to talk, do it with non-food situations. Maybe there's a special game she likes to play with you; encourage her to say "please" before she gets to play it.

My son was the same way. He started off picking up words, then just stopped. We could tell he understood what we were saying or asking, but he just stopped talking. We were so concerned about it and took him to speech therapy, but it didn't seem to help much at all. He turned 3 in October and his speech picked up a little, but not much. Then, we enrolled him in preschool and his vocabulary exploded. He's attending a Montessori school with kids from ages 3-6 years old. We can tell a HUGE difference. My advice, Don't stress on it. She will talk when she's ready. I wish I could go back and enjoy that time more, instead of having been so upset over "why isn't my baby talking?". From someone who's been there, if her hearing is fine, don't stress out about her speech.. it'll come in due time.

Get her a speech evaluation. Its very easy call your DR. and tell them your concerns and that you would like a speech evaluation. I'm not sure where you live, but I prefer Good Sam. Both my children receive services there.

Have you checked with your pediatrician? Maybe speech therapy would help.

My daughter went through this same thing at 2- our son who is 2 years older would always speak for her- we took her to a Pierce County sponsored program called "Childreach" they sit down and evaluate through play your child's abilities and it is no cost usually thru a school district. They called us back to do a follow up a few months later and needless to say she is 8 now and only stops talking when she is sleeping!

chilsdren will not starve themselves for stubbuen behavior, so do not worry about that hold your guns trying to get her to talk intice her with things she really likes and do not give it to her until she usesher words. maybe it is you and your husband that now need to be stuburn. I realise that you are tired too but if you want to hear her sweet voice you have to reqire it give into whinning and you will not.
if she does not speek soon i would as her peditrician for advice.

Two is tough, isn't it! I also deal with this same type of stubbornness on a daily basis. I have bounced between using super-kindness with tons of patience, and the other side which is a hard line of "I don't understand you, when you whine honey!"

When mine says "mama" often the most effective is to get down on my knees, holding my 2 year old's hands (both of them) with mine and looking right at him and saying "What is it, honey". That removes the immediate urge to point and grunt instead of quielty composing words.

Be patient. Their little minds are working on so much! Hopefully you can find a way to resond that feels right to you and fixes the dilemma of the 2-year old. What does your pediatrician say about no words? Any concern? Or just a control issue? Some would say to "remove" the control issue and not create a push-pull. But because 2 is about figuring out boundaries, others would say that it's important to put your foot down and make sure she understands the rules for appropriate communication in your house/family.

You might do your best to get her around lots of other 2 year olds and let he hear them babbling. Often peer pressure at this age works wonders!
Best,
E.

First you should get your child's hearing tested to rule out any type or degree of hearing loss as a contributing factor. After that, I would recommend going to a Speech Language Pathologist for an evaluation. Your pediatrician can give you recommendations or you can just go to the nearest Children's Hospital. Make sure the person who evaluates your child specializes in the toddler/preschool population. They will spend time with you and your child and give you an impression of your child's strengths and weaknesses. If appropriate they will develop a plan with you to address your child's weaknesses or refer you to another appropriate professional. There are often options for your child to be seen in a clinic or in your own home. It is play-based therapy, so your child is having fun and you are learning how to work with your child at home. If your insurance does not cover the therapy and you cannot pay out of pocket, there are options for state funding from the 0-3 early intervention funding. You may need to ask for this funding/scholarship. Good luck - it can be a great experience.

You may want to have her hearing checked. It probably isn't anything to worry about but sometimes the not talking is a sign of not hearing very well or not at all.

I had a friend who had this same problem. she found out it was cuz his ears were clogged big time and he couldn't hear well so he just ignored evrything. My son was similar,but he had chronic ear infections so we put tubes in his ears.He started talking almost immediately. And no he won't stop. So I know how frustrating this can be to both the parents and the child.

A.

L.,

I cannot say I have the same problem. I have twin boys who are almost 2, and they do talk (not that I understand much).

However, I did some research...WebMD and other sites. Nothing conclusive came up. Some articles about hearing, stuttering, and general development.

I did run across this link:

http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/404_is-my-2-year-olds-....

The small article was on child development, and some delays than can be expected by some. There were also responses (much like here), and several said to trust yourself as the parent. If you feel that there is a problem seek assistance or guidance. If you do not believe there is a problem, drown out any other voice and work the best you can with your daughter.

Unfortunately,there are no right answers for us moms. you can contact me anytime you need to talk

T.

My 21 month old is not really speaking yet either. She has her own language, and speaks some English words, but compared to some she seems behind. I have been concerned too. My doctor office said to not worry about it. The nurse, a mother of 3, suggested having her drink out of a straw always to help strengthen the muscles of her mouth.

I think if you know her hearing is fine and all else is physically ok, she may just come around. Because I have also been concerned, I have been asking around a lot. My husband didn't talk til he was 4, friends have 2 plus year olds who are not really talking either.

So, I am just watching and waiting. I am considering a hearing test, though I sense that she is fine there too.

Good Luck
Rachel

lots of good suggestions, just keep loving her!

Just now getting caught up with e-mails. I would recommend a speech/language evaluation. You can get one at no charge through your local education service district. I'm a speech-pathologist in Tualatin. Feel free to contact me if you want to chat more.

K. Jellison, MS, CCC
Speech-Language Pathologist

Have you had her hearing checked lately?

I had a simaliar problem. I started talking in a low, calm, soft tone, simply stating, "I don't understand what you want, I need you to use words. Then I can help you". After about two days of this (frequently) I started the same whining after he did, as if in response. I got quite the confused look like, what in the world are you doing? After about the third time I said to him, Do you mean you don't understand me when I whine? He shook his head no, I said well I don't understand it when you do it to me either. And I just looked at him, waited about two or three minutes for him to digest what I said to him. I then said WE both need to use words so we can both understand, OK? I took a few tries (and from time to time we have a lapse) but then the light bulb goes off and he remembers. Hope it works for you. Good luck.

You've probably already heard this, but you might want to have her hearing checked. Otherwise, just relax and know that she'll talk when she's ready. One of my daughters talked very little (at least, in language we could understand...) until a few months after her 2nd birthday, when we realized she was speaking more every day. And she progressed very rapidly at that point.

Hi L.,

I have been parenting for 20 years and have four beautiful children, two boys and two girls. My youngest was as quiet as a mouse until she was almost 3. I was beginning to make plans to have her hearing tested. Then, all of a sudden, full sentences. She didn't even cry when she was born, she just looked around and took it all in, then yawned! She is extremely bright, but her personality is showing us that she holds her emotions to herself and observes life, for the most part. So at this stage in her life, she is now 5, we are working on helping her to verbalize her emotions to a "safe adult". However, know this, she has a very broad and complete vocabulary. So, there is hope. Every human being develops different skills at their own pace. You may wish to have her hearing tested, but I would say to give it a little longer and continue to ask her to "use her words" so you can help her to get whatever she needs.

My older daughter, who is now 17, was very similar but she did have hearing issues. Her situation was quite profound, but three minor surgeries later, she was hearing beautifully. At this stage in her life she is an outstanding student and a beautiful singer with a very bright future in front of her. In order to sing at her level, hearing is extremely important, so I would have to give all the praise to our Ear, Nose & Throat Specialist who fixed everything perfectly.

Good Luck!