2 Year Old Doesn't Listen to Me

I watch my niece who is 2 1/2 on a pretty regular basis. She is to the point where she is really testing the waters to see just how far she can go before she gets in trouble. Consistancy is the key. I use time-out and redirection a lot, but honestly evey now and then a little swat (nothing hard at all) is what she needs to realize I mean business. It will get better. I have a 10 year old and a 7 year old of my own and they both did this same thing at about this same age. I also worked in a daycare for 3 years and you bet every child pushes the boundaries at some point. Usually it is between 2 and 3, but sometimes earlier and sometimes later.

Hope that helps.

i have a 2 1/2 yr old step son and my husband and i just threaten time out a lot.. and that typically works. and if he doesn't do what we asked he goes to time out right then and there. then we talk to him about it and explain why he had to go time out.

he is a pretty well behaved kid though.. so i dont know if this would work on most kids

I am right there with you. My youngest is only 2 right now, but my oldest is 4, and the terrible twos for my youngest are coming on full force and bringing back all of those memories of the days when my oldest was this age. I just have to keep reminding myself that, just like I had to with my oldest, I have to set limits, stick with them, and STAY CALM. That's the hard part for me sometimes...I get caught up in the battle with her, and that's the worst thing I can do.

As someone else said, I think it is good to give them 2 choices when possible, but even when I do that, my daughter often wants neither one, just out of stubbornness, not because the two choices are bad. Also, to make matters worse, my youngest just is not much of a talker still, so she just throws a fit (partially out of frustration that she can't/won't tell me what she wants, I'm sure) or she just keeps saying "No." So I just have to say, "okay, those were your choices," and walk away, and usually she then calms down and chooses one...I think they are just always testing us at this age to be sure that we really are going to stick to what we say.

On the fiddle farting, I know exactly what you mean there, too. I do think that the best thing is to tell them they must do it, and then if they don't, like you said, pick them up and make them do it (and if it appears to me to be clearly out of defiance, I also give her a consequence for not obeying). I do think they eventually learn that one way or the other, they are going to have to do it, so they can choose the easy way or the hard way.

So throughout it all, I just have to keep reminding myself, and hopefully this will give you some hope, that if you stick to your rules and expectations of her, eventually they will realize that you are the one in charge. I am so grateful for my oldest who (most of the time...although not this particular morning) is an example to me that the terrible twos do pass, and your kids do learn to obey if you are consistent, even when it seems like it just isn't getting through to them.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

Just wait until she's 3!! I have 2 boys and one is sooo that same way and one is quite a 'pleaser'. They are so different! I got as many books as I could in the Love and Logic series. They are WONDERFUL and really will reduce your stress-level and that's always good, huh?! Tomorrow she'll be sweet as a peach so just try (really hard)to enjoy her. I'm right there w/you, but mine is now 3 and he's bigger, stronger and even more 'independent', but I think I'm handling it better now with the wisdom of Love and Logic. There is a website, too www.loveandlogic.com Have FUN!!

I have a 2.5yo daughter and she is definitely pushing her limits! What you are describing about your daughter, sounds like my daughter. I figured it's all about them wanting to be independent. This type of behavior has increased within the last few weeks, but I just have to stay consistent. She goes to time out (2mins) away from us. She doesn't like that, so that usually works well. I take away her favorite toys(working a little), and I praise her when she's doing what she's suppose to do when I ask the first time. She likes the praise, but I make sure I don't go over board.

Just be consistent and don't let up. She'll get the picture.

GL!

I have two sons and one was like that and one wasn't so no all are not like that. You should put her in time out every single time she acts in this manner and if she gets out on her on put her back and her time starts all over again. This seemed to work rather well with my youngest son although it's still an act in progress he listens a lot better than he did.

Your little girl may be hard of hearing .Have a Doctor check her hearing.
All children at this age need a lot of patience. Tell her she is a good girl and wants to do what Mommy tells her to do.
Good luck and God bless .
MK

If you feel you have a strong-willed child on your hands, do yourself a favor and buy Dobson's book,THE STRONGWILLED CHILD. I gained a wealth of info from that little book.

A wise Mom once told me you need to make sure your children know who's the captain of the ship. :)

A book I've used is called 1-2-3 Magic. I loaned it to someone so I don't have the author's name in front of me. I started it when my daughter was 5 and my son 1.5. It works well for our family.

Another tool I use all the time (even now) is a kitchen timer. I will tell them you have 6 more minutes to play and then you need to brush your teeth (or whatever I want them to do). I started doing this when I observed a Mom swoop down and pick up the blocks her child (who I thought was in the neighborhood of 3)was playing with because it was their turn to take pictures. The child threw a HUGE fit, bowed up, dug her heels into the ground, etc. It dawned on me how frustrating for a kid to have someone, without warning, destroy what they had worked to build and then scoop them up (because you're bigger). I implemented the timer that day and have had very, very few problems. I also use the timer on my phone when we're out. When my children are playing at an indoor playground or reading in a store, I will give them a 5 minute warning. When they hear the timer, they put their shoes on, or their stuff back and we leave with smiles on everyone's face.

Sorry to be so long winded.

Blessings to you!
L.

I have a friend who can get two year olds to do anything almost using reverse psycology. She'll say something like. Oh, whatever you do, don't put your shirt on, so they will run and put it on. Then she'll be a little "upset" and say something like "Oh no! Well, just make sure you don't put your pants on!" and they will run and put pants on. Then she'll finish it off with "If you put your shoes and sock on, I'm going to have to do something about it, so whatever you do don't put those on." and then when they do it she'll tickle them or do something fun with them.

The main thing is, whether she's using reverse psychology or not, she makes it almost like a game for them to be obedient. I just hope that when my second hits this stage I'll be able to remember what I'm telling you and use it.

Hi Claire, yes it's her age... it will get better soon if you stay firm and don't give up. 2 yr olds are struggling to gain some control over their lives, they need some independence. I suggest giving her a few more choices such as do you want to brush your teeth first or take a bath first so that she feels in control but you still get both things done that need done. Another suggestion is do you want to wear the blue dress or the pink shorts today? Don't ever give more than 2 choices and when you need her to do something that she can't choose on tell her it's mommies turn to decide this time and it will be your turn next time.

Your post is my life- ha! I have found that it helps to give as many choices as possible so that she thinks she is in control. It seems to be all about having the control at this age. By offering 2 choices, you take away her ability to say "no"- many times, at least!! I have gotten a lot of ideas on how to offer choices that teach her to solve problems and think for herself with the Love & Logic book by Cline and Fay.

Good morning Claire, sounds like your daughter is in control of you. First, I am not judging your parenting skills but children have a mine of their own, that is why we guide them and use the skills we have. What are her consequences for not listening to you, does she get a minute time-out, do you tell her she will miss one minute of her favorite cartoon. I raised two adult children so wishing you success with your parenting your two year old. Have a great day, Been there,

You just described EVERY two year old. That is why they are the terrible two's. My son and I have struggles every day where I just want to pull my hair out. Then every once in awhile he gives me the sweet little angel voice and tells me that he loves me and it makes me feel better. She will get better.