C.A. asks from Hephzibah, GA on October 17, 2006
2 Year Old Daughter That Still Sleeps on Her Parents Bed
How do you get a 2 year old to stay in their own bed all night.... She will fall alseep around 8:30pm with no problem then around 1am she ends up in our room and we always give in because at this moment my mother is living with us and I know that if Kylee (my daughter) starts to cry it will wake my mother up. Should I just keep on giving in until my mother moves out or is there a way to do this with out Kylee having a fit? Please don't take this as my mother is getting mad or saying anything.... she does not say anything about kylee's crying at night; I just feel bad because I know that kylee can cry for a long time if I don't give in and I don't think it is fair to wake up everyone in the house because of one stubburn child.
L.B. answers from Atlanta on October 18, 2006
Hi C., that is a dilema. I had that same problem for some time. In order to get my son to stay in his bed, I put a chair in his room right by his crib. When he woke and wanted me to pick him up and take him to my bed - I just sat in the chair instead and held his hand until he fell back to sleep. This is certainly NOT ideal because he would wake up constantly looking for me. So I was up all night, but he stayed in his own bed! But that is only a temporary band aid, unfortunatley. THat will keep her quiet, but what you really must do is let her have a tantrum. I learned from my sister who has 4 children about the proper way to handle this. Eventually this is what we did: When it was time for bed, I put him in his bed - gave him a big hug and kiss and told him I would see him at wake up time when the sun was up. Then I left the room. He cried hard - in 5 minutes I went back in to his room and told him to lie down and that I loved him and go to sleep - you're fine, blah blah blah... then I left the room... then in 15 minutes I went back, and so on.... It took him about 45 minutes to calm down and lie down and fall asleep. In the morning we had a celebration and told him what a big boy he was for sleeping all night by himself... It took about 3 nights total to get him use to it. Now it's great, he goes to sleep wonderfully.
N.P. answers from Savannah on October 18, 2006
I put a safety gate on my daughters bedroom door when she went to sleep. She would wake up, stand at the gate, and then eventually go back to bed. When she got in the habit of staying in bed I stopped using the gate.
K.M. answers from Knoxville on October 18, 2006
Have you tried just walking her back to her room and putting her back to bed? I'm assuming you have tried this. She might need some white noise to go to sleep. Everyone else is probably still up when she goes to bed, and for a while after, but when it gets quiet, she can't sleep without some kind of comfort. I made my daughter a cd of her favorite music and she listens to it every night. When she has trouble going back to sleep, I start it over. Also, do you spend a few minutes in her room til she is settled down a bit? I would try a similar routine to the first time you put her down. And, I would keep putting her back to bed, no matter how many times she gets up. Eventually, it will get easier. Good Luck! K~
J.H. answers from Atlanta on October 17, 2006
Oh goodness, well i would have a talk with my mom and explain what is happening and let her know your plans and that if you decided to let your child cry herself back to sleep or if a fit incures because you are trying to break your child of this habit it might wake her up. Im pretty sure she will understand seeing how she is in your house at the moment, just ask her to be patient with you and your parenting dilemas. As for your little girl, i would shut her door and let her cry herself back to sleep, soon enough she will get the hang of not having to be in your bed and its good for them to figure out how to soothe themselves just like when she was little.........best of luck, and maybe your mom might have some suggestions....
M.H. answers from Macon on October 18, 2006
I have a 18 month old and what helps her get to sleep is a CD player that I put in her room and it plays about 48 minutes of classical nursey ryhmes. She loves it. If she wakes up in the middle of the night I will give her some warm milk and play the CD. I got it at Wal-Mart. I hope that this helps you.
K.P. answers from Nashville on October 17, 2006
Okay, I have 2 yearold daughter also, she use to do the same thing it was actually worse. She use to go to bed around 8 and then wake up at 12 and want to sleep with us. Now I didn't mind it at all. But when you have a hubby and 2 dogs it gets cramped in your queen size bed. Now I do have some friends that do a family bed and love it. But thats a personal choice. What I did was cut her nap time shorter. Instead of 2 hours I did 45 mins and I wear her out before bed and then do a warm bath, she goes to bed around 8pm and sleeps straight until 4am or 5am then she would sleep in my bed. But what I'm trying now and its working is put him straight back into bed when he wakes up and sit beside the bed not in the bed beside it. Don't talk or look at him. Yes he will cry but he still knows your there, then he will lay down and sleep. It took my daughter 1 week do it and now she sleeps in her own bed. I hope this helps.. Oh yeah one more thing a night light also helps. Let me know what did work
T.D. answers from Knoxville on October 18, 2006
Been there done that. Don't give in or you'll have an eight year old sleeping with you soon. There are several things to do. 1. there are noise filtering machines that you can get for mom...the kind doctors offices have. 2. Make the bed a fun, safe place to be. A lot of soft, washable stuffed friends. Tell your daughter they are there so she's not alone when she wakes up. 3. If you are christians- or believe in God, now is the time to teach about angels and God's protection. Put a picture of angels next to the bed...the one of the angel with the two children is a good one.Let her pick her own angel. 4. pick her up and put her back in her bed, reassuring her that Mommy and Daddy are right in a room near her. You can hear her and she can hear you if she needs you. 5. Create a fantasy room- such as a princess in her castle theme. Or whatever your child loves the most. 6. let her put her bed where she feels most safe and close to you. Maybe near the door. 7. tire her out with alot of activity during the day, but no stimuli at bed time. 8. Change her pattern of sleep. Get her to fall asleep a little bit later. 9. Give her something of the parent that she snuggles the most when she crawls into bed with. Something that has your scent on so she feels like she's with you. 10. Aromatherapy helped my son. There are scent devices that you can get at your local store. Vanilla and lavender are very relaxing. Sounds silly, but they work. Hope I helped you. T. D ____@____.com
K.M. answers from Boston on October 18, 2006
Buy the No Cry Sleep Solution Book! It has great ideas...
one that i remember was to reward them with something everynight that she stays in her bed all night..like a sticker on a chart and then she gets to do something fun with you over the weekend.
My 15 month old is waking up at night and we bring her to bed to get some sleep..but I think it's her molars that are bothering her.
Z.L. answers from Memphis on October 18, 2006
Perhaps explain to your mother what Kylee is doing and that you're trying to fix it. Explain that Kylee needs to learn to sleep in her own bed all night instead of waking up in the middle of the night and coming to sleep with you. This is probably causing her to lose a little shut-eye, as well, so getting her to stay in her room is essential to her getting a good night's rest. Try walking her back to her room and putting her back in bed with minimal to no talking. Every time she comes in your room, do the same thing. I'm sure after a little while she will get tired of the rotine and stay in her bed. It might be tiring for you, but eventually it will pay off. Good Luck!!!!
C.H. answers from Augusta on October 28, 2006
hi, im actually going through the same thing. my 3 yr old has been in our bed since birth and with a new baby who i sometimes need to lay next to me at night, u could imagine how crowded it can get even in our queen bed. both our children have their own rooms but neither sleep in them. after we bought my 3 yr old his thomas bed he falls asleep in it but by 12 is heading to our room. if i just put him back he goes right to sleep but wakes right back up shortly after and comes back. Being that Im already sleep deprived with the 3 month old and am usually feeding when my son comes to our room it always ends up the same way...him in our bed until I get up with them in the morning. Im sure if i just added more effort my son would eventually stay in his room but since hes been right next to us his whole life, when he is in his bed asleep me or my husband normally feel anxiety of him being so far away and end up going to get him anyway. It helped my son when he first got his room that he had things that he loved in it, like his train table, his tv and playstation so that he gets a movie while hes trying to fall asleep and a spongebob night light. I plan on adding more effort to keeping him in his bed all night and hope for the best. I hope you have the same amount of luck.