2 Year Old Birthday - Kirkland,WA

J. - Who is pressuring you to have a party?
Phew, I would LOVE to have birthdays for my kids and not have parties, unfortunately my Mexican husband wants to have a party for just about everything (he throws himself a birthday party every year!).
I see nothing wrong with having a fun night with your 2 year old, singing at the birthday cake and making him feel special. It's preferable to me, just never happens. (the only time it happens is MY birthday when I leave the kids with someone and go out for a nice dinner with my husband. It kills him)
Have fun, L.

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Hi J., My son is turning two on Sunday and I felt exactly the same way. I really didn't want to do a party so we decided it would be a great opportunity to go on a daytrip hiking and exploring. I just wanted us to do something special together. It's ok to do what YOU want to do! You have a lifetime of birthday parties ahead of you...your son doesn't know about birthdays yet...

don't let the pressure get to you. the most important thing is that you have a good day with your family...spend it the way you want to.

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I don't know if you are feeling pressure to have a party because it is "the right thing to do" or because people are upset they won't be involved.

If you are feeling pressure just because it seems to be the thing to do don't get stressed - you can celebrate a birthday without a party and do something special and that makes it even more special because you are thinking outside the box.

If you are feeling pressure from people just remember that they may be feeling left out and they want to be involved in the celebration because they love your son too.

Whatever the case do what feels right for your family and celebrate with your son however you want.

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Oh, honey - what great questions-- so here's old mothers' answers -
1 you feel pressured by tv ads showing THRILLED
little children having a FABULOUS party-
2 you are smart enough to know ''' it aint'
necesssarily so -'''' - you could glue together
a party and your 2 year old might spend it
throwing up from excitement.

your child would LOVE to do something special with Mommy and Daddy and will NOT feel deprived --that will BE the party -- ( when your child is 5 or 6 it will be different)

Blessings,
J.

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If your friends and family aren't pressuring you the pressure comes from ads, books, other people's accounts of parties. Parties at this age are for the adults but society seems to have made them to appear important. I remember a time when families got together for the little ones' birthdays but it wasn't a party as we see in the ads and what some people do.

Even parties with friends for school age children were infrequent. I think I may have had 2 birthday parties for which I invited friends. My friends didn't have a party every year either.

Birthday parties have become commercialized. Parents are made to feel that a "good" parent throws a big party. It's just not so. Do whatever you want to celebrate your son's birthday. "You don't have to keep up with the Joneses."

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I wish I could get away without throwing a party. My family is just way to big. The only reason I throw parties is so family can celebrate. We always reserve their actual birthday as our own sacred day with them...to do whatever they want to do. So I say if you can get away without throwing a party, more power to you! Its YOUR son's birthday and YOU are the mamma now, dont let outside influences force you to do something you dont want to do, especially if it means more money out of your pocket. I only wish I could live by those words! :) Have fun!!!

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J.,

You shouldn't feel any pressure to have a party if you don't want one. My daughter's 2 birthday is quickly approaching (the 13th) and we're only planning on a dinner with me, Daddy, Big Brother, and grandparents. We did the whole family shebang for the first birthday, and I'm more than happy to have it small for the next few years until she starts making friends at school or sports or somewhere.

At two years old children will still only play side-by-side, they're still not ready to interact and share toys with each other.

I see nothing wrong with a small, intimate family celebration.

Celebratory,
M.

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My kids are 5 and 7 and haven't had a "party" yet. We have had Grandma and Grandpa for cake and one of my other friends with her 2 kids one time and that is it. I never had a birthday party growing up ever and neither did my husband really other then close family being around so that is what we are teaching our children at this point. Down the road when they get more friends we will see. Oh and I have never set one foot into a Chuck E Cheese and do not plan to. Don't submit to the pressure if it is not something you want to do, your family, your child, your rules.

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My daughters 2nd birthday was yesterday. We as a family decided we weren't doing a party either. We are just having grandma and grandpa come to spend time with us and open presents. Society has conditioned us to do "bigger and better" each year for almost everything. Houses, cars, jobs, birthday parties, etc... I think that is why we often feel this "need" to do things.
Everyone has the ability to make their family traditions as they want them. Whats most important is that your son is surronded by people who love him and you have fun..
I hope you enjoy your time together.. and happy birthday to you both!..

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not that weird. for my oldest who turned 2 last summer, we had a family bday get together at the park. she was the only kid so it was more of a picnic lunch. i had just had her baby sister 2 days before so we met up with them on our way home from the hospital. :) then on her actual bday 2 weeks later i got her a cake and we had dinner at my parents. her dad and i also took her out to a special dinner at rainforest cafe that week. i plan to wait for the kid party until she is 3. i dont think it matters to them at the age of 2, and i didnt need the stress. :)

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He is two. He doesn't really care. Do what you want and then at a later birthday when it is more important to him, do a party. My little girl is three and we have only had parties with the three of us and then four of us. I think we invited my mom last time. My girl had a great time. I decided to wait until she is a little older and cares more to go through the stress and pressure of having a birthday party with friends invited. It is working out great. Now, if you enjoy doing the party thing, go for it, but if not, wait until it matters more to you son to do that. Everyone will enjoy the celebration more if you are enjoying it too.

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The only thing that is important is that you honor him. If he is not pressuring you and begging you for a party then there is absolutely no reason to have one. Parties at that age are for the parents anyway. Most 2 year olds hate their birthday party because they are so overwhelmed. I think the best way for your family to celebrate is just make him prince for the day and do fun stuff as a family!

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Yea moms.... I do remember that it seemed really important to have a birthday party for my first child at 1. From that day forward there were only parties if she really wanted one or I felt like giving a party. I (sorry, only my opinion) think that children now days have too many birthday parties. It's much more special to have a party every once in a while than to expect one every year just because it means getting a bunch of presents. Everyone, in my opinion, is right about the fact that all a person from the age of 2 on up really needs is recognition of their birthday and that it's their special day, receive some special presents and be treated special. If you did have a party, don't they say that you only invite one person per year of the child? ie. Three yo - 3 friends. Happy day mom and son.

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That's funny. i don't want to do a 2nd birthday party, either. We're expecting #2 in a month and it just seems like too much work. it's nice to see so many similar responses!

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I agree; what's important is to make the day special for him. Most toddlers still aren't going to enjoy the "party" atmosphere anyway. We don't know many people in town either, so we're just having a few out-of-town relatives over for the day (a big treat for our 2-year-old). If the relatives weren't coming, we would just spend the day doing special activities that our toddler loves, like going to the OMSI play area or even just to the local park.

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I agree with you that there is no need to have a birthday party. For my middle son's second birthday. My family and my sister's family went to the zoo. There we had cupcakes. It was fun. He doesn't know the difference.

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You are fine not having a big b-day for him, but it still sounds like you are doing something for and with him. that is what matters. He won't remember and at two I am not sure sure it is as important as it is at say six. My son is turning two in June and I have been dealing with the same question. I think now days it has become an expectation or social norm to give all big parties and for every age. Although this can be fun, it isn't nessecary. When our son turned one, my husband and I took him to the beach and for his second b-day we are thinking of during the same....he loved it. I think at this age kids do love being around other children for a brief period, but really prefer their parents and have more fun with them. Love it up now because we know that won't last long.

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Don't feel pressured to have a party. :D Your son is only 2. He doesn't understand what a party is in the first place. When my son turned 2, we just held a small get together for family. I believe there was only 5 people there. No big balloons. No fancy smancy cake. Just us. Was nice and quiet.

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Maybe just do cupcakes in the park for any friends you do have? Then it's a special celebration for him, but not so much work for you. There's no need to do a party if you don't want to of course! You could do a park gathering in the morning and then do something special as a family in the afternoon or the next day (on his birthday maybe?)

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Hooray! You have survived another year as a family! Your son's birthday is a special event... it is the day he was born, and you did a lot of work to make that happen. You should celebrate however you see fit, and you and his father should definately take a moment to celebrate yourselves in this endeavor. There will be plenty of parties in the years to come. Have a fun family day. Indulge in your baby while you can. There will come a time when he doesn't even want you at the party, so make the most of it... do what you love... take it easy... and smother each other with kisses from dawn til dusk. Congratulations! I hope you have fun.

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The rule in my house is no "friend" parties until they are 5. We have family celebrations and invite extended family in the area but no birthday party until they turn 5.

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It's totally fine to not have a party! Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Do something that you can enjoy as a family. He will be happier with that than seeing you stressed out trying to plan and prep for a party. IMO people give too much weight to what others might think about what they do or don't do. You only need to worry about what makes you and your family happy. :)

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Since my business is doing kids parties, I should be telling you to do something for your son. But really you have to do what is comfortable for you. He really is not going to remember his 2nd birthday. I usually have just done small family things for their birthdays until they get older and have all the friends at school. Usually we just all go to dinner at a place like Red Robin or Applebees and have dinner, cake and presents. They get treated special and like having the attention. Our youngest is turning 3 next week and that is our plan.

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For heaven's sake...three IS a party! Your idea to celebrate with just the family is great. Take pictures of your special time together and of him blowing out the candles on his cup cake, piece of cake or blob of whipped cream! Who are you getting pressure from if you don't know that many people in the area? Be kind to yourself, Mama. You are doing just fine. Trust your instincts.

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Hi J.
I have 3 boys and I did all the parties for my oldest and realized they were only getting more and more expensive and so we created a guideline that the parties happen at ages 5,6 and 7. We did the cupcakes in preschool, but kept the parties at that age to just family. This bothered some of my friends and my mom, but honestly I didn't want tons of boys running around the house, and I wasn't going to pay over $200 for a party that my boys wouldn't remember. My oldest remembers his big parties and now looks forward to his 8th birthday where he gets to invite 2 friends and they each get $20 for either the movies or a fun center for games.
My 5 year old just had his 1st big party and he had a great time. By setting these guidelines and making them fatter-of-fact the boys are fine with it. I have never heard any comparison between any of the boys and their parties. It seems it is mostly parents that put the pressure on the extravagant parties.

Hope this helps and good luck in any decision you make.

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Do what feels right to you. Many two years olds won't miss a party so why go to the fuss and expense. Or do it as simple as possible. We had one family over and my mom for pizza and cake. If people ask what you did just say you had a special family day. You can still make the birthday special without a party.

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J.,

you are feeling the pressure because it seems to be the norm now to pamper our kids at every birthday.

We opted out of a 2nd party for our twins...they will get a big one for 5 yrs old. We did the party at 1 yr. May do a small thing with friends at 3 (not sure yet).

Do what you feel is best for your family and situation. Do not give into pressure feelings just because it is easy. You will also teach your child to appreciate all the more what is offered.

good luck and God Bless,
T.

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I love this!! I skipped the second bday for both my girls. It's a waste of time and money and they have no idea what is going on anyway. kids parties are out of control these days! i remember, when i was young, going to a party and being happy with a piece of cake. Now it's goody bags, huge themes, bouncy houses, etc. and it all costs a fortune! It went from being fun for the kids to impressing the adults, it's crazy....sorry, venting here.....:) So you feeling pressure is understandable but do what you want and forget about it!
Have fun :):) -B

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You ARE having a party for him....with YOUR family. Don't let other people dictate what you do and don't do with YOUR child. No pressure just enjoy the time with your son and there are plenty of years to have a "friend" party when he acutally makes "friends" and understands. I don't do parties every year for my children. They get a friend party about once every 2-3 years. The rest of the time we do family get togethers. Parties get expensive, and are taken for granted if they are just expected. Then there's the problems that come with....do I invite the siblings, yada yada. Just wait till he can enjoy the party.

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Don't feel weird!Making your own tradition is what matters. When I grew up, we never had birthday parties. My mom made a cake, and the birthday kid got to choose what was for dinner (we had some really weird meal combinations on birthdays!) and a special activity to do together as a family that day (like going hiking or a family game night or whatever) and we always had a blast. I always felt really special and never felt like I was missing out on anything.

More recently, when I taught preschool, most of the pareents of the 2, 3, and 4 year olds opted not to have parties for their kids. Most of them would stop by the school at lunch time with a special treat for the class (like cupcakes) and sing happy birthday with us at school, and then do a family thing that night or on the weekend. So I'm not sure if your child is in preschool, but that can be a simple way to celebrate with friends and not have to actually do a party (and most teachers don't mind as long as you forwarn them that you are coming in).

Most importantly, make your own tradition and have fun with it, what ever it is that you do. You children will remember these fun family traditions far longer than any party or present you can give.

Best of luck!

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Hi J.,
I personally feel like there is too much money and resources spent on birthday parties for young kids that don't even know the difference. I have read the general rule that you should not invite more than 1 child for every year of age of the birthday kid. My daughter is turning 2 at the end of May. I plan to do something small here at home, and plan to invite her one friend and their family. There will be no theme... no party games... but I will make some healthy cupcakes and have some icecream, after we eat a healthy dinner.
You have to do what's right for your family. It doesn't matter what the mass media or parenting magazines say.
Take care,
T.

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J.,
I didn't have a first birthday for my son, aside from my husband, myself and my parents. I don't know if I want more than that for his second, depends on where he is and if he has little kids he likes to play with. I just think the presents is kind of dumb, but that goes for all ages.
Do what you want to do. Sorry, this isn't much of a response, just a viewpoint that birthdays for little one's is usally for the adults. Good luck with your choice.

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I think that sounds perfect! I didn't really do too much for my daughter's first and second birthdays. I think if you don't have grandparents or other family in the area, it would be just fine, and even better, to just spend time with him alone. There is no need to get him all hyped up with a bunch of people at this age. Have fun!

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What counts is just doing something special with him. At age 2 his expectations should be low and little things should be enough.

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Hi J.,
I didn't do a party for either of my boys at 2.
I did do a small cake at the house with the number 2 on it for them mostly to have when they look back on pictures of their life.
My older son's first big party was at '4'. when he could help tell me what he expected and wanted.
I'm also considering the idea of an every other year type birthday party for each of them. so every year one of them has a friend party. worked so far this year.

I too felt guilt about it the first time around with my older son at age 2,. perhaps I was not doing enough to celebrate the big day. However it came and went and I feel quite ok about it now & also did the same for my younger one last June when he turned 2. :)

oh,. one last note,. at age 2 it's more of kids/adult party - so perhaps the thought of throwing a party for the adult side can be overwhelming 'pressure'. kid parties are easier!!

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Hi J.,

Please remember that your son is two. He's not going to care if you have a party or not as he doesn't understand the concept. We didn't have a birthday party for my son until he was three and that was only because my husband's family was up visiting for the weekend. Parties at that age can be more tramautic than fun, so plan something that is meaningful for your family. Plan a great outing or adventure. Something that is not overwhelming to him or you. There are going to be plenty of opportunities to have parties, so don't get caught up thinking you have to do this to make him happy. A party at this age isn't for the child, it is usually for the parents. If you do decide to have a party, a good rule of thumb is to invite no more children than the age your child is turning. So only invite one or two kids. That limits the overwhelming nature that parties can induce. Good luck and most of all, remember to have fun!

Always,

B. W.

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I would not feel any pressure about a birthday party. My children didn't have friends over for a party until they started school. They are 8 and 6, have no hard feelings about missing the "early" bday parties, and are invited to many of their friends parties throughout the school year. I didn't throw a party because we couldn't afford to do much outside of the family party. If you aren't into a party, then the kids aren't either. He is 2. Do what you want and enjoy the day for the family.

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I wouldn't feel bad. It's about making his day special, so how special is it to have his family around him celebrating him! We almost had the same scenerio when the one friend I was going to invite had out of town guests. I decided I would get doggie plates (he loves dogs) and make a doggie cake. We also bought him a gift. So, the afternoon was all about him, and what he wanted to do. However you decide to celebrate the day he's not going to be upset about it. Spending quality time with our children is the best gift we could give them. If you do what you feel pressured to do you will end up getting stressed and not have the patience to love your little 2 yr. old and appreciate him. Hope that helps.

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Because parties make money for the baby industry. You should see the catalog I just got for my little girl's first. :) As long as you celebrate somehow, don't worry about having a party. He'll have plenty of parties when he's old enough to want them. The memories you make as a family will be just as good.

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Don't worry about having a party. If people want to give him gifts, they can visit another time. At 2, he won't remember it, and may even feel overwhelmed by having people over.

Do something with you and your family. Enjoy it! Take pictures. I would still suggest a birthday cake or something special...it is always fun to see them react no matter how many people are around.4

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Hi J., I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. Some of my friends had big 1st and 2nd birthdays for their kids (they also have a lot of family that live in the same town), and I did feel some pressure to do the same thing, but luckily my husband talked me out of it. For my boys (3 and almost 2) we just do a few presents and cake (and of course balloons!) at home. I have a good friend with 2 kids almost the exact same age as mine, so we will usually do something during the day together with the kids to "celebrate" like go to a zoo or a special play center or the park. For my son's 3rd birthday I took cupcakes and balloons to his daycare and he thought that was really cool, especially since I hung out with him and ate lunch and cupcakes. I figure maybe by the time they are 4-5 they might want a little party, but really when they are so young I think it can be overwhelming for them.

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We didn't do a party with friends for any of our children until they were 4 years old. I have friends who have waited until later to have the first party. We did have a family party for my oldest when he was 3, but haven't done that since because we moved away from family.

I think birthday parties for children that young are more for the parents than the children. If you are inclined to skip the party and do something special for your child with you and your husband, go for it.

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Do what is right for your family! My girlfriend doesn't do big parties for her kids. It's always family and maybe a close friend. They always celebrate on the birthday and never have the 'party' on a different day. In some ways I wish I had done the same for my kids because I caved in to the party pressure and hate the commercialism. Good luck in your decision.

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I would do what he wants, it is his birthday. My son wanted one special friend at Chuckey Cheese, so thats what we did instead of a party.

I don't think it is fair of you too make the choose because you "really don't want to do a party". It is his special day, and not to honor him because you don't feel like it sound a little selfish to me.