2 Questions - Fussiness During/after Nursing & Best Pacifier for Breastfed Baby

2 answers for two questions...With regard to the paci, some babies DO NOT take a paci no matter what until after 4-5 months. I also was given this fun opportunity with my now, 17 month old and my doctor told me I needed to give up and let her be without it cause I was doing it solely for myself and not for her contentment. So I stopped. She is happy and content and developed verbal skills WAY before any of her contemporaries (my friends who have babies her age.) I do believe pacis slow down their verbal skills now that I have seen it first hand and my doctor told me this would be the case b4 hand but I didn't want to believe him ...cause I just wanted some sanity. Now, in retrospect I am really happy he discouraged the paci and I see the vast difference.

With regard to the fussiness on the breast, he might just want to be held and be close, nothing more than that. Lots of babies as young as yours want and require that constant closeness and anytime they are fussed with (going on or off the breast) they go nuts. Have you tried swings, slings, baby carriers? If you haven't you should definitely try a sling at your baby's age. They tend to do really well with that and you'll also be able to get a load of laundry in (without the pacifier!) Good luck and just be reassured that this time flies by and you'll wish your lil' one was this small again. Enjoy it as much as you can and kudos to you for breastfeeding. You're doing an awesome job!

Hi C.,

I have a 7 month old daughter and I had a similar experience with her being fussy during feedings. I brought her to the dr at 6 weeks and was told that some babies are "sensitive". At around 4 months she started having blood in her stool and was diagnosed with a milk allergy. Your baby may not have an allergy, but if you continue to see fussiness, you may want to try to eliminate certain foods from your diet. Start with dairy since it is the most common food allergy. I wish I would have tried it when she was younger - it ended up making a huge difference - you have nothing to lose.

M.

Both my kids never wanted to take a pacifier, and I know several kids that were exactly the same way. DOn't push it, if it isn't coming easily. Also, my kids as newborns went through that fussy stage after nursing, and the only thing that worked for us is walking them around the house. I would suggest some sort of babywearing device. I have a Snuggli, but I hear that slings are great.

Good luck - this time will pass quickly for you, even though it will seem like an eternity :).

J.
J.

Hi!
Our son was the same way. I cut out all dairy from my diet and citrus items. Takes about 12 days for dairy to complete get out of your system. But even though it was a huge sacrifice on my part (because i love ice cream and milk and cheese) it was worth it. My son stopped the fussiness. He's 5 months now and I've added dairy back into my diet and he's fine now. After 3 months he started getting better. Supposedly boys digestive system is not fully developed until 3 months for some... And they can't break down the milk fat/protein very easily. But that doesn't mean he's lactose intolerant. So Lactose free milk wouldn't help. I had to drink Rice milk for awhile and a calcium supplement.

Also, pacifier -- we use the Playtex Most Like Mommy. Can only find it at Walgreens for some reason. But that's the best one we've used. Both my kids didn't like paci's except this one. And they had no problems with nipple confusion. etc.

hope this helps!

Hi C.- I am now nursing my 6 week old son(my 4th child) I nursed them all over a year. Here is what I might try. Ask yourself "Is he really hungry, could he be tired instead?" I found myself with my oldest thinking she was hungry when really it was that she was sleepy or overtired. I would try rocking to sleep before trying to feed. In regards to the pacifier, none of my kids every really took to them. Hang in there the "suck to soothe" stage does pass relatively quickly. Good Luck!
B.

Here are a few possible reasons:

1) He MAY want to continue to suck but is full. That may be why he is okay with the pacifier but fussy at the breast.

2) Are you really engorged...too much milk....he may be frustrated at the heavy let down. I had too much milk and my son would get so upset at the rate and amount of the flow. He did get used to it and I did get a more even milk supply.

3) He may be tired and the breast frustrates him at that time. Babies seem to not be tolerant of anything when they are tired :) But who is?

As for the pacifier. My son liked them one month and then next month he wouldn't take one. It just depended on his stage of developement. If he doesn't want it I wouldn't worry about pushing it. Keep the ones you have around and try later. Babies don't have to have one.

Good luck with all of this. I am not an expert AT ALL but have had a mere 8 months of practice. And remember..I have to remind myself of this ALL THE TIME... that babies can be fussy just to be fussy too!!

If you really want to try a pacifier try going up a size. This worked for my baby but might be cos he's quite big (and possibley has a big mouth like his mama)I did read somewhere boys need the sucking motion more than girls, don't know if its true but it satifies our boy a lot.
Have you tried another nursing hold?. At 4 to 6 weeks Eliot would fuss like that when I'd know he was hungry and changing him to the football hold helped.make sure his head is slightly higher than his body in case its reflux
Hope this helps

My five-week old is doing the same thing! I think she's going through a growth spurt and that she's still hungry and waiting for my milk supply to increase to meet her need. But that's just a theory.

She happily takes the Soothie brand of pacifier.

I can usually get her to sleep with the pacifier and rocking either in the glider or just around the house (and in my arms or in the baby bjorn). My first daughter, however, also required the vigorous rocking to get her to sleep. My heart is with you. I know how hard it is to have a baby that must be held all the time. It's so hard! But do try a baby carrier if you haven't yet. That was a life-saver for me. And give your baby a few minutes to fall asleep in it. My daughter fusses and even cries a tiny bit the first few minutes, but if I keep moving around to get stuff done (a must with three kids 3 and under!), she falls asleep within 5 minutes.

Best of luck to you. And hang in there. Believe me, as hard as it is to believe right now, eventually you'll put her to bed with a story and a kiss!

I have to agree with everyone who says that he might just be tired--I read somewhere that parents often use feeding as a response to all fussiness--but babies get fussy for all kinds of reasons--or none at all.
They say that, on average, an infant will cry for at least two hours a day...often their fussy times will start becoming more predicatble--my son is always happy after his morning feeding and then fussy around 2pm no matter what we are doing.
He is a big fan of the pacifier--at first he would ONLY take the Soothie, which we had to buy online (www.childmed.com). We ordered 12 of them and then a week after they arrived he decided that he didn't want them anymore. I think they were too small by then--they kept falling out. So we bought the "Binky", which is much bigger, and it is all he will use now.
The other thing that always helps with our son's fussiness is the bouncer that he has: Ocean Wonders Aquarium (I think its Fisher Price?). It has a vibrate mechanism that has soothed him since he was 4 weeks old. Also, sometimes I just pick him up and hold him tight and walk with him...he seems to relax a bit.
I know how hard it is to hear your newborn cry and not be able to help, so I am also sending you STRENGTH! Good luck!

Hi C.,

I have nursed two children, including a toddler now.

RE fussiness: Since it happens only once or more per day and then the baby falls asleep after rocking, I wonder if the fussiness is a sign of being tired -- or over-tired. Four weeks is too young to establish sleep routines, so perhaps you can keep a simple log of when it happens, how long awake, and what works. La Leche meetings and leaders are good sources of support; they've heard everything! Even if you are not attending meetings, you can find a leader in your area who will talk with you.

If rocking gets old for you, try a swing during these times.

RE pacifier: Didn't use one, so I can't help. But my first was similar and later I regretted not trying! Good luck.

Hi C.,

I had a friend with the same problem during nursing and it ended up being that her baby did not like certain food that she would eat (sour/spicy food, gas causing food). So she started avoiding certain foods and her problems and her son's problems were solved.

M.

My little guy like the mam brand pacifer but only the latex kind. It is what they gave him at the hospital. My little guy has just liked to suck from the very beginning and we used a pacifer in the hospital. They let him latch right away he never wanted to stop the mam is our lifesaver. Nine months later I still give it to him as soon as he is done nursing. He takes it out when he doesn't want it.

C.,
Not sure why your baby is fussing but maybe he is just tired? Is he sleeping ok? Have you tried babywearing with him in a sling or other type of carrier? It's possible to get a lot of housework done while they are sleeping on you. Also, neither of my babies took a pacifier and they were both exclusively bf. I think it means they are smart :-) but some may say "high need."
Best,
Karen

I agree that some kids never really take to the pacifier. I never really pushed the issue with my kids as I figured that then I wouldn't have to worry about weaning them off the paci later one. My son never really wanted one at all, and didn't put things in his mouth much, my daughter has taken it sometimes, but mostly likes to chew on it and play with it like any other teething toy. The Nuk brand was the only one I found that they'd even consider trying.

I'd look at your own diet and see if there's anything that could be causing some of the discomfort. I found that if I cut cheese out of my own diet it helped. There had been one meal I'd been cooking when family visited (it was easy for my husband to cook too, and served lots of people quickly) but it had a lot of cheese and I noticed that my daughter was especially fussy after I'd eaten it. Any food that might cause gas seemed to be amplifying it in her when it passed through the breastmilk. The gas drops help, but only so much.

I've also noticed that my kids went through stages. I think some of it is just their bodies getting used to digestion! They are growing at an exceptional rate when they are that little, and everything about their body is changing - some of that will cause discomfort for them as they adjust. At least that's my personal opinion, anyway, after having a few of those moments when nothing I did seemed to work!

I highly recommend a sling, maya wrap, snuggli, or some other kind of carrier for around the house. You can also see if he will take to a swing or something to put him down now and again. I've had trouble transferring my daughter out of my arms into anything, so the sling has been a huge help for me. I've also got a spare carrier just for the house that my kids have both slept in when they were little. It gave me a quick place to set them down that I could also pick up and carry with my from room to room. If you're not planning to use it in a car at all, you can usually find a lightweight, used carrier at any thrift store for a few dollars. You might be able to set it on the washer or dryer to mimic a car ride too, if your son fall asleep in the car at all.

Hope that helps! Good luck!

Do you have very active letdown? That is when your baby pulls off, is your milk squirting everywhere very forcefully? It is quite common in early nursing because your body hasn't really regulated your supply yet. If this is the case, you probably have more milk than he needs and he isn't getting the fatty hind milk which will satisfy his tummy for and the fussiness is probably because the milk is coming out faster than he wants. One thing you can do is feed from only one breast at a feeding. That way he gets the fattier milk at the end. If he wants to nurse again before the 2 hours time period is up, offer the same breast again.

Does he have green stools? If so, this is definetly the case.

My son took a paci when he was a newborn but after that he didn't care for them, and I tried many different kinds. Even the ones he initially liked he would only play with. Some kids really just don't want one. My son moved to his thumb pretty quickly when he got old enough. Good luck!!

For the first question, I would consider whether your son has reflux--that is what I was advised when my daughter did something similar. My pediatrician told me to hold her upright for 5-20 minutes after each feeding. I would pat her back and that would often soothe her. It could also be fast let-down and he is overfull. You might consider contacting either La Leche or a lactation consultant at your nearest hospital to see about the fast let-down of the milk.

I had a similar experience with pacifiers--my daughter has been exclusively breastfed and refuses to take a pacifier or a bottle of any sort or kind. I call it reverse nipple confusion--she just wants the breast and she won't be fooled into taking abything else. She just turned six months old. A lot of the time, she pacifies on my breast. When she was younger she would sometimes suck on my clean fingertip but she now refuses the finger altogether. Like you, I tried many brands and types of pacifiers--I once counted and it was 16. Unfortunately, as a lot of people have told me, some breastfed babies just don't like pacifiers. I understand your concern, however, because you don't want to always be the pacifier (and it doesn't seem to make him happy for you to offer him the nipple), and your son really enjoys sucking. You will read advice that says to help him find his hand, but I'm not sure that's a great alternative either because you can always take away a pacifier when he's older to break the habit, but you cannot take away a hand used for thumbsucking.

That said, my daughter will--on very rare occasions--take a larger size (6 months and up) MAM brand silicone pacifier. It is the one my sister uses with her kids (who were also exclusively breastfed), so they often end up sharing. However, my daughter will only take the larger size.

So overall, my advice is to keep trying with the pacifier (that is what my sister said to me) and if it doesn't work, use the finger, and if you can get away with alternate methods of soothing him, maybe nothing. However, do know that by breastfeeding your son, you are offering him the best possible start in life. Someone said to me that the days are long but the years are short, and it helped me.

Good luck!

Hi C.,
Well I'm not a nurse, but am a mother of two breast fed babies and I'll just tell you about my experiences with them. My daughter was fussy at the breast at least once a day, if not more, and I always thought it was that she wasn't getting enough and was still hungry but wouldn't take any more (very frustrating). I had read that she may have been getting frustrated with the flow (either too much or too little) and would grow out of the phase of being fussy while eating, and she did, however is still to this day very fussy when it comes to food :) she is now 7. Someone also told me after the fact that it might be something I was eating that made her not like the taste of the breast milk, which makes alot of sense too aside from their colic and what you eat. Foods greatly alter taste of breast milk I have learned, my friend could not eat cheese in particular because it made her daughter not want to eat or be fussy while eating, and there where a number of other things she had to stay away from but I don't remember all of them except for the cheese. We had dinner at her house and she made her own pizza w/out cheese!!!?? and then told me why. Not all babies are particular about this but some definitely are!
Some moms would give up all together, but I think if its a flow issue, your baby will adjust I would think. You could call LaLeche Leage, look up their website and there is a phone # where you can ask any support you need with a laleche nurse.
Also, I tried with pacifiers of all shapes and sizes with both my kids and they both hated all of them. my son (now one year old) would take it for about 3 minutes and then drop it and then get really pissed. Plus its just another habit to break so I figured why force it on him. He eventually found his thumb and sucked on that for a couple of months, maybe try guiding his little thumb up there and see what happens. There were times when he actually prefered to eat from the bottle than the breast with pumped milk. If you don't have a pump yet, (LaLeche can help w/ that too) they are a godsend, or at least for me it was. Try a few different nipples (Avent worked best with my kids and my friends kids) that were all brstfed, and pay attention to the flow factor. Well good luck with your little guy, and don't give up yet, it might be just a phase he'll grow out of in a few weeks, I'm sure you've learned the more patience you have with it the better, and you've gotten through the hardest part already so keep it up sister. Sorry for the super long email, hope it helps some. Holly E.