2 Month Old to Bed Awake?

Updated on November 27, 2009
K.T. asks from Lewisville, TX
38 answers

Hi Moms! I am working on some sleep issues with my 8 week old baby. She gives me signals that she is sleepy after playing and I pick her up to take her for a nap. She cries at this point and I know she is just tired. She only does this during the day and is great at night time. Everyone says to put the baby down awake, but it is hard and after awhile of trying to console her and put her in the bed I give up and put her in the bouncy just to get her to calm down. Then she falls asleep in the bouncy. I try to move her to the bed and there we go all over again... Should I just put her in the bed and give her some time to calm down? How long? I know I might just have to toughen myself up a little, and show her the way...but it is hard! Thanks!

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So What Happened?

First of all, thanks to everyone for your support and responses...what a huge help and really just a a chance for me to focus and learn from other moms! I didn't put this in my question, but I had read BabyWise, and Baby Whisper and finished reading them when my daughter was 1 week old. I got frustrated and frankly, frustrated her as well by trying to implement this plan too soon for the little one. Well, after reading all the posts I felt that maybe this was the right time to get back into it.
So, I have been very consistent about the EASY plan (feed, play, sleep) and putting her to bed awake. Evidently, I was part of the problem with her not wanting to sleep...after putting her down awake she has not spent more than 5 minutes crying before falling asleep. Crying is not really even it, she is more complaining. I have also transitioned her at this point into her crib upstairs and has taken beautifully to this as well. I think I was smothering her...the girl needed a little space! She was telling me, but I wasn't listening!
Thanks everyone!

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Personally, I think 2 months old might be too young just to put her in bed and let her cry it out. When mine were this little, I put them down after they fell asleep. If she is showing signs of being sleepy, you might lay her down and just rub her belly or sing softly while by her crib to help her calm down. With my last one, I could sometimes play the mobile 3-5 times and then he'd fall asleep on his own. A routine is really wonderful. If you notice a pattern (she's always tired by 10AM), then work towards putting her down at 10AM. Somewhere around 3 months you should be able to start expecting more from her and if you have a routine in place, she'll learn it. For instance, if she's tired by 10, then maybe at 9:30, hold her and rock for a bit, sing softly, change her diaper and then lay her in the crib. It may not work the first few times, but if you keep working toward that goal, it will work eventually.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,

Put her in the bed and leave the room & close teh door. It would help a LOT if you have something like a wind-up mobile on the crib or one of those lighted aquariums with the fish ..... something close for her to look at. Add some soft music. (you don't have to use this ALL the time - just when you have trouble getting her to sleep.....if she's not doing this at night, don't use it)

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

Is it really wrong to let her nap in the bouncy seat? I let my kids do it. Actually, my son liked the swing better.

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C.

answers from Dallas on

"Baby Whisperer" saved my life!! I think the cry it out method is horrible and is not necessary. This book uses a great system called EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time). it shows you how to recognize their signs and what they need and a simple loose schedule that will make your life so much easier. I hight recommend it.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

My Goodness!! She is practically a newborn. You don't have to "toughen" up yourself or her. Give her all the comfort she needs. My little girl was a "non-sleeper" for a year!! Children are individually born with temperaments and physical needs. Their bodies grow and adjust continually throughout their first 2 years.

Be patient and caring. Don't over stimulate before you expect her to sleep. Rocking and cradling until she falls asleep and then laying her gently in her crib and then gently patting her for a few minutes should calm her.

Their little nerves are very sensitive.

Don't worry. She can pick up your anxiety more than you realize.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hello! First of all, I would suggest getting her on a nap schedule. A good routine is feed, play, then nap once the baby starts getting cranky ... if you do that for a few days, you may notice when your baby wants to sleep. Then, have a bed routine (e.g. rock and sing a few songs, then put her down). I think its a lot easier to put them to sleep awake (or to get them to sleep, period) AFTER they have a nap schedule and a nap routine. You may not be able to get her to sleep without crying right away. You'll probably hear people say not to let them cry at this age ... and, if you can get her to get all the sleep she needs without crying, then that is great! But, some babies do need to cry a bit. My second son took naps without any fuss ... if he cried at all, I went right back in and comforted him for a moment and he fell back asleep. My first son, on the other hand, would not sleep without crying. period. Comforting him didn't stop the crying, it just delayed the sleep and actually prolonged the crying. Weeks 6-8 were horrible, because I spent all my time comforting a really overtired baby. Finally, at about week 8, I started putting him in his crib (following a routine & nap schedule) and walking away. He cried for about 10 minutes, then fell asleep. Eventually, this reduced to about 5 minutes, then finally little or no crying. At first, I really worried that I was doing him some harm by letting him cry, but he actually became much happier because he was getting more rest. He sleeps now without any issues. Now, you might not be willing to let an 8 week old cry, and that's certainly understandable ... but, I wanted to assure you that letting a tired baby fuss for a while to get some sleep won't do any harm.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

I always nursed my son to sleep and let him nap on me in a sling or on my lap if he didn't want to go in his bed. Around 6 months he started taking naps in his bed and now at 13 months decided on his own that he didn't need to suck to sleep and lets me rock him instead. Babies know exactly what they need - we just need to listen. Enjoy the closeness because it's over before you know it. I miss nursing so much!

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R.M.

answers from Dallas on

Relax and follow your instincts. I would recommend you read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" and/or "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears. The only thing your baby will learn from you helping her go to sleep is that her world is secure and you can be trusted. Listen to her cues (crying) and comfort her.

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J.L.

answers from Dallas on

I know "they" all say put them to bed awake, let them cry, and all that. I personally say she is only 2 months old so cuddle now while you can. I alsways started a routine at 3 months, but not really putting down awake until about 5-6 months. I nursed so my boys tended to fall asleep in my arms every time. I have never let my kids cry it out...I am too weak for that-ha! But my oldest slept through the night at 3 months and my 2nd at 5 months. They are great sleepers. I truely believe a routine is key. My 3rd is due next month so hopefully he will be just as good. Good luck!!!

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

Let her sleep in the bouncy, or swing or car seat and don't move her. She doesn't have to sleep in the bed as long as she is in a safe environment then she is safe.

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M.L.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K., I always recommend the book "healthy sleep habits, happy child" by Dr mark Weissbluth. It is so reasonable.

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A.A.

answers from Columbus on

Hi K., my son had his morning and afternoon naps in his stroller, bouncy or swing until he was about 4 months. I liked having him close by me and could get to him right away when he was awake and/or crying. It was just easier for me than running up and down the stairs to his crib. I don't see any problems with! Now at 11 months my son is a really good sleeper but if he has any problems going to sleep it is for his day time naps. Sometimes it just takes a few cuddles and a song and laying him down and stroking his face. Good luck!

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

I have been going through the same thing with my DD who is now 3 months old. About a month ago I was doing the same thing that you are trying to do and she would have the hardest time soothing herself enough to fall asleep in her crib. It was h*** o* me because I needed her to take a nap and she would get overtired and sometimes wouldn't even fall asleep in the bouncy or swing if I gave up trying to get her to nap in the crib. Once I decided to be consistent about putting her to sleep for almost every nap in her crib, she would usually cry for the first 5-15 minutes after I layed her down. I'm not going to lie and say it was easy because hearing your baby cry never is, but now that she is only a month older I can lay her in her crib and she almost instantly falls asleep. It took about 2 weeks of me being consistent with our routine, and her learning the cues for what naptime are (diaper change, story, swaddle) letting her figure out how to soothe herself to get to the point we are at now. As a mom I think you just have to trust your instinct and do what you feel is right for you and your baby. For some letting them cry it out works, for others it doesn't. Good luck!

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L.J.

answers from Dallas on

unless it turns into something that lasts too long, I'd put her in the bed awake if necessary. Even at this young age, she knows that she can get her way by throwing a fit. It sounds like she is a good baby, so it shouldn't take her long to realize that she isn't going to always get her way. And yes, you're right that it won't be easy.

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L.S.

answers from Tyler on

Personally, I wouldn't try to do anything to enforce a schedule at 2 months. I think 4 months is more age appropriate for trying to get a real schedule together. But honestly, go with your heart. I don't see anything wrong with letting her nap in the bouncy.

If you want to have a good/easy time having her go to bed at night, start a routine now. But, I wouldn't let her cry it out. By routine, I mean the same activities each night (dinner/play/bath/bed).

-L.

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H.R.

answers from Abilene on

I second what Annette said. At our two week visit, the nurse told us to start a bedtime routine. Obviously, a 2 week old is going to wake up in a couple hours again anyway, but, that helped train our daughter to fall asleep on her own. Now, at 16 months, there are times when she's awake in her crib for an hour after we put her down, but she eventually goes to sleep on her own.

It's never too late to start a good bedtime routine. For us, that's bath, nurse, brush teeth, read story and put to bed. It may be different for you. You might have to keep going in (ever 5-10 minutes) to lay your baby back down or reassure her that she's okay. But, once you're consistent, she'll be content to go to sleep on her own.

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

Don't let your baby cry it out. It does cause damage. Google it.

Cuddle & love her to sleep & let her sleep where she feels comfortable, whether that's in a bouncy, in a swing, in your arms, next to you all night. Get a wrap & keep her close to you. You can't love her too much, you can't spoil her by answering her cries quickly & everytime and you certainly don't have to toughen up. Listen to your heart, do what feels right & doesn't leave you both in tears in separate rooms.

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A.A.

answers from Dallas on

You have trained her that way. If she is dry and has had enough to eat, if you know that she is fine, then do not let the crying bother you.
put her down when she is ready. If she cries, then time it. Start going back in at short intervals. Then start making it longer and longer. but do not take her off her bed. she will get use to it and will be able to go to bed awake.
goodluck

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

Go ahead and let her sleep in the bouncy. I wouldn't let her cry it out until she is 6 months. At this age, they are still bonding and need the reassurance that momma will take care of their needs. Try to get her on a schedule play, eat, sleep throughout the day and try to make sure it is around the same time every day. This helps them get used to a routine and gives them a sense of knowing what is going to happen next.

GL with your new little one!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

If it does not bother you, then let her sleep in the bouncy. Atleast she is napping! I remember I was so worried about where my son was sleeping but when I look back now, it really didn't matter. He would not sleep anywhere but in our bed regardless of whether I was in there or not! He slept there for naps and @ night til he was 4 months old. Then, I just slowly started trying to let him "hang out" in his crib and get use to it. It was just one day I tried him in there for a nap and he went to sleep. He just wanted to do it on his own time. I really don't think it's that big of a deal where your little girl sleeps @ this age. But, maybe try putting something in her crib that smells like you. I would put my robe under my son and tuck it under the matress on both sides(to prevent SIDS) that way he was laying on it. He seemed a little more content... and get crib toys, anything that will hang on the side and play music or light up.

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A.A.

answers from Dallas on

Don't beat yourself up too much. I'd hold her until she's drousy and her eyes close, and then I'd try transferring her to her bed. After raising my first child, I realized to go on what feels right rather than what the books say. I had both types of sleepers (a son that struggled with sleep until he was nearly 5 years old and a daughter who was an easy sleeper). I learned that my babies and my heart felt more at ease when I put down the books and "advise" of experts and did what worked for my child. Often it was just a little more cuddle time by rocking in a chair or gently swaying/bouncing my baby until they drifted off to sleep but they weren't in a deep sleep. I'd then lay them in their beds. It usually worked.

Follow your heart and instincts - they're the best advice : )

A.

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

On the recommendations for Babywise... I used this book for my first son. I am a researcher, so I followed that book to the T. I wrote notes and completely understood what the author wanted me to do. It was the biggest mistake I have ever made. My son, now three, STOPPED napping at 21 months, and had problems napping from about 1 month on. I stopped using it at about 8 weeks. The authors of this particular approach have absolutely NO pediatric sleep expertise. The main author, in fact, is a pastor at a church that is simply regurgitating what he tells his congregation to do. Please feel free to look this up. Ezzo is a pediatrician, I believe, but has no sleep training under his belt.

Healthy Sleep Habits HAppy Child by Weissbluth is written by a pediatric sleep specialist out of the University of Chicago Medical School. He has multiple longitudinal studies to back up the apporach that he suggests. And UNLIKE babywise, he actually says there is no issue with nursing our babies down to sleep. And once again ,he has the data to back that up.

Stay away from Babywise and good luck with your little one. BTW, Weissbluth also notes that it is useless to try and get any kind of schedule going with our babies until the approach 4 months as they are not physiologically capable of sleeping like that until then. Unfortunately for us, we just have to follow their rythyms until then!!

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T.P.

answers from Dallas on

look online or go to a bookstore and purchase "On Becoming BabyWise" - it is the best book ever and deals with issues like this. It recommends waiting 10-15 min before going in to console baby, depending on her type of cry - but it is very thorough in explaining all the little details of when to go to her and when to let her cry. It really is a very good book, I used it on both my children and loved it - also recommended it to many friends who were also very appreciative of it's info. Good Luck, be confident in yourself, I'm sure you're doing a great job (everyone was a first time mom at some point so try not to doubt yourself). Also, it is never too early to try to get yourself and baby on a routine - the sooner the better for everyone. Babies/children of all ages do best when they know what to expect. I began our routine while still in the hospital!

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

I know the Dr's won't advise of this but when it's time for a nap and he won't go down I nurse my 9 week old for just a few minutes while he falls asleep. I've tried the paci but he knows the difference. It works almost every time.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Both my boys had that problem. And at 2 months I feel is too early to let them cry it out. But that's just me. Both of mine would take naps in their bouncy seats or their car seats when they where that age. They did not like the crib or bassinet. That is where they felt secure. If that's where they wanted to nap I let them and so did their babysitters.

Good luck and God bless!

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V.T.

answers from Dallas on

I had the same problem with my daughter. I do put her to bed awake since about 3 1/2 months. But for a while at least at nap time she would only sleep in her swing. I gave up and let her sleep in her swing. I figured she needed the 3 hours of sleep (so did I). As she got bigger and wanted to move around more, she found the swing uncomfortable and when I switched her back to her crib, she went to sleep with few problems. She did and sometimes still does have some crying issues, but they only last a few minutes now and it is more of a whining cry. On days that she had tough times, I let her cry for about 15-20 minutes depending on the type of crying she was doing. If it was an all out sob, I usually only left her for a few minutes. What ever method you decide, stick to it. I think a big part is consistency. Crying it out worked for my daughter, and she is a very happy baby and great at self-soothing.

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

I wouldn't stress about it too much at 8 weeks. Newborns are used to being with you 24 hours a day in the womb. It takes some a while to get used to being alone. Every baby is different. My first is now 2. It took longer for him to fall asleep on his own. We let him sleep in our bed until about 6 months. My second is now almost 6 months old. He sleeps better in his own crib and always has. He will put himself to sleep with a pacifier. I turn on some calming music which seems to help. I try to keep to somewhat of the same routine. Just enjoy the time while your baby is little. She will be a toddler before you know it.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

It is hard to listen to the baby cry, especially if it is your first one. If you put the baby down for naps awake now, baby will learn to settle itself and learn to sleep better. I know this will sound stupid, but as you put baby down, talk to him/her. Say "it is nap time now, so mommy is putting you down to sleep" this will also help later. There is a prep for parenting class that you can take through a church. It is a program designed by Garry and Ann Marie Ezzo. There is a lot of controversy surrounding this parenting style, but believe me, it works. I have been using the principals for 4 years with all my kids. ood luck whatever you decide to do. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about this program

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,
Listen to your mommy gut despite what any one else tells you. I NEVER could let my babies cry it out.....Dr. Sears and Dr. Karp both discourage this as well. I love Dr. Sears' website...he will have very helpful info for you.

www.askdrsears.com

I also love Dr. Harvey Karp's DVD, Happiest Baby on the Block.....great stuff. Really helped us. I did get to where I could lay the girls down still awake, but I am not sure if it was that young.....can't remember. I did read most of "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" book and it was helpful when my young toddler was giving us a hard time, but I can't remember for a two month old. All I can say is listen to your instincts...they are like none other--even more than daddy......trust yourself.

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

Yes... you need to ALWAYS put her to bed awake b/c you will be spending more time trying to get her to sleep than you need to. I read babywise with my first child and it worked like a champ. It took some time before she stopped crying all together when I put her in the crib awake, but it does eventually happen. Your baby is young, so it will take some time, but letting her cry a little will not hurt her. If it makes you feel better go in there every 10 mins or so (if she's still crying) and pat her back so she knows you are there. I am pregnant with my second and I will be doing the same thing with her. Good luck!!!

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L.R.

answers from Dallas on

My third baby is 9 weeks old. Yes, put her down awake, and let her cry if she needs to. It might take a little bit of crying the first few days, but it get easier and easier for her to go to sleep. Put her somewhere that you can close the door and walk away coming back to listen every five minutes or so. If you stand and listen it will seem like an eternity and just stress you out. I highly suggest the book Baby Wise. It will encourage you in your babies daily routine. Remember that this short time of adjustment will create so much more peace and rest for you and her in the long run. A well rested baby is MUCH happier the whole day.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

My advice would be to get the book "Becoming Babywise". Some people don't like it, but it saved my life. I have 4 children ages 9, 7, 5 & 4. I used it with all of them. I didn't follow everything to the letter but I kept them on a schedule w/naps & feedings & they did great! Good luck.

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

I used the Babywise book and also have the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child. A schedule is crucial I think. You have to set the schedule so that you and SHE know what to expect. I have a 6 week old & I am just now, within the past few days been laying her down awake but drowsy & she'll go on to sleep. We are still on a 3 hr schedule, so I just laid her down about 30 minutes ago, and I had to go back in there to cover her up and comfort her again, but now she will sleep for another hour or so. Then I will wake her if she's not awake already, and she will eat, then be awake for a little bit and then sleep again. Over and over all day long! Except at night, then I let her sleep as long as she can of course. But the not crying when I lay her back down during the night has been so awesome. We are just now getting there. But having a schedule to know that when they are crying that they are not hungry but indeed sleepy is crucial. I'm not saying to let her cry hysterically to "work it out" but sometimes I let her fuss for just a bit to work it out and she usually does. Good luck. I know you'll get a lot of advice on this so hopefully you'll be able to find what works for you and your baby & create a secure and happy sleeper!

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

My now 4 month old was like that. I have never put him to bed crying. What I did was rocked him until he either fell asleep or his eyes were closed for a few minutes. Then I'd gentle move him to his crib and put my hand on him until I could tell he was settled in for his nap. If he was overly tired and I was unable to calm him down I'd put him in his swing for 5 minutes so he'd calm down, then pick him up, rock him and put him down. Hopefully this will help you. Mine has been sleeping through the night for the past two months and it's easier at night. I also have a bedtime cd I'll play during his daytime naps when I'm having a hard time calming him.

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L.K.

answers from Dallas on

I always allow 20 minutes for my daughter to calm down when I put her in her bed. Sometimes she calms down but doesn't go to sleep, she ends up playing, so I just leave her. But after 20 minutes if she's still crying and it doesn't seem to be dying down, I will go in there.

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S.J.

answers from Dallas on

I have 3 year old twins and I always put them down awake and they would cry for a while and then go on to sleep. It got easier and they started expecting it. Good Luck, S.

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

Tough age... sometimes still adjusting to everything. my younger one was the same during the night - slept great during the day. This lasted for a good 7 months. I ended up doing a lot of co-sleeping. Anyway, she is 15 months now and has been the best sleeper since 7-8 months. At two months, I wouldn't toughen up. They are still very little and not old enough necessarily to soothe themselves. They learn this as they get more mature. You may want to try and give them a bottle/nurse before putting her down that way she gets a little sleepy. I used to rock my little one until she fell asleep. She was in a basinet and I just rocked the basinet until she was almost asleep. Good luck!

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B.S.

answers from Dallas on

what did you try to do with this? I think sleeping in bouncy for a while is okay and when she is 3 months do bed training. I am going through the same thing... but we are 7 weeks old. daytime sleep is not happening easily ...

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