20 answers

2 Missed Miscarriages in a Row Within the past 5 Months. Need Advice Please.

I went to my doctor yesterday and I was supposed to be 10 ½ weeks, but there was no heartbeat. The baby died at 6 ½ weeks. My D&C is scheduled for Thursday. I just had a D&C on November 5th on 2011. Once again, the baby died at 6 ½ weeks.

I’m feeling very defeated and wondering why. We do have 2 children already, so I know that I can, or could, carry a baby to term. My husband and I just feel we would like to add onto our family. Is that so horrible?

Also, my BF since we were 3 is telling me that maybe it is a sign that we should not try. Her comment made me feel even worse. We have been trying since August of 2010 and without even trying, she got pregnant and gave birth about a month ago.

Sorry to vent, but I’m mentally drained. Has anyone else gone through this? Also, I am going to be 37 in a few weeks. Could my age be the factor? I know lots of women older than me that have had no problems though.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I also had a similar situation. I ended up taking baby aspirin and using progesterone suppositories(pretty gross) the minute I knew I was pregnant. It worked great :) Hang in there. When you do finally have baby number 3 you will not remember any of the trouble you went through to get him/her.

I have 2 kids and 2 mc. Seeing a specialist tmrw so I hear you! See a specialist and see what they recommend and ask for ALL the testing, hubby too.

More Answers

I'm sorry.

I've been there.
I had 3 pretty close together like that before I had my son.

Know this: it's nothing you "did" or "didn't do" and I certainly wouldn't take it as a sign that you "shouldn't be trying"!

People find it hard to see someone they love/care about go through this emotional pain.
Sometimes they also say stupid things. Your BF is not leading your life--you are!

If YOU feel like continuing to try for another, and your husband agrees, then wait until you feel emotionally ready and try again.

I know it's heartbreaking.
Take good care of yourself, your husband & your kids.
All the best.

3 moms found this helpful

I'm 45 and hubby and I have been trying for 2 years to get pregnant. We went to a fertility place to discover hubby is a stud in the reproductive department and I am the problem. Both of my tubes have been diagnosed as blocked. We have decided that IVF ins't the route we would like to take because it is so incredibly impersonal. I have also undertaken an alternative method of dealing with this too which seems promising to me. Our jury is still out in it's success or the lack there of.

Long story short. I would trade places with you in a heart beat. At least you know you can get pregnant for certain. You may want to have some test or something done to see if you can determine why you can't carry past the 6 1/2 week mark. That is what I would probably do in your shoes.

Try not to stress yourself out. Stress isn't good for being pregnant or carrying babies to term. You may alson consider making certain your nutritional levels are where they should be along with your hormones.

My maternal great-grandmother was a midwife in the early to mid 1900's. She always taught us that a baby wasn't a promise and if you happen to miscarry there was probably something not viable about the child but to treasure that life anyway. So give the baby a name and remember him or her as a blessing to you even though they didn't make it. Try to be encouraged. Cry when you must but remember to pick yourself up and don't dispair. There is always hope even when things don't turn out the way you planned.

2 moms found this helpful

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage and a D&C last year at 12 weeks, so I've been there, and I know it's hard. My OB had the tissue tested because she didn't think this was a textbook missed miscarriage (if there is such thing), and it came back with the results of a partial molar pregnancy. We were told not to get pregnant for at least 6 months to a year, and I had to have weekly and monthly blood tests to make sure I got back to baseline. The doctors stressed to me how important it was to let my body and mind heal before we tried again.

The truth is that miscarriages happen more often than most people think. I had no idea until I started reading/posting about my pregnancy on Mamapedia that so many other women have had experiences like this, and it seems that when one mom has had a loss, we all have in a way. My advice to you is to give yourself time to grieve, and give your body a break for a bit. I know you're 37, so maybe you could see a fertility expert in the mean time? Or think about adoption? Bottom line, if it's meant to be, it will be. You have 2 beautiful children already, but don't stress yourself too much. My thoughts are with you.

2 moms found this helpful

I am so sorry for your losses, please ignore your friend. I am sure she does not mean to come off so insensitive, sometimes people are at such a loss for what to say that they end up saying really stupid things. Did the doctors do any genetic testing? They are normally able to test what they recover in the D&C. The risk for chromosomal abnormalities does increase with age, it is possible that you got very unlucky two times in a row. It does not mean you need to stop trying though. Have they done any testing on you for bleeding disorders, auto-immune issues, etc?
I had three pregnancies that led to three healthy, term, babies and then lost my next baby at 14 weeks (he died between the tech's US scan and the doctor's follow-up scan, right there while I sat on the table, it was awful.) Since it was a relatively late miscarriage and his body showed signs of generalized swelling when he died we did testing on him and myself. It all came back normal, which I was happy about, but also still confused about why it happened and scared for what might happen in future pregnancies. My next pregnancy also ended in a miscarriage at 11.5 weeks, according to measurements and my own monitoring of the heartbeat at home (I am a midwife) he died the day before my first appt. His tests also came back normal, so again no answers for why. I was about 32 at the time. We took a few months off trying to conceive and thankfully had a very uneventful pregnancy the next time. I feel your pain, I really do. But I am proof that there is hope and no reason to quit trying (unless you feel like it is too much to bear, which would be completely understandable, it is a very difficult time). I would recommend taking a few months off from trying to conceive and maybe get some blood work done looking for common causes of miscarriage. Some of these issues can pose a bigger problem with age or can develop at any time, so just because you have had two children doesn't rule out the possibility that there is something amiss now. Take very good care of your mind and body in the next few months. I wish you the best of luck in the future.

1 mom found this helpful

I'm so sorry for your recent losses. You must feel so sad and discouraged. I strongly recommend you see a reproductive endocrinologist and have some tests run. If your insurance won't cover a specialist, your OB/GYN can do the lab tests necessary to rule out blood clotting disorders, hormone problems, etc. Since you will soon be 37, don't delay. It is more common to experience miscarriage after 35 because of increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities, however, that may not always be the problem. My friend is 36 and just suffered 3 miscarriages in the past year, all at 6-8 weeks like yours. She saw a reproductive endocrinologist who diagnosed her insulin resistance and put her on metformin, progesterone after conception and heparin (blood thinning agent). She is 10 weeks pregnant today and all looks well. Like you, she has 2 healthy children so it was especially puzzling why she experienced the miscarriages. Wishing you the best and praying for healing of your hurt. Nurse Midwife Mom

1 mom found this helpful

Ask your gyno to prescribe progesterone and start taking your prenatals before you become pregnant next time. I would give your body and heart time to heal.
I am so sorry for your loss.

1 mom found this helpful

I was thinking progesterone issues also . . . another question for your OB/Gyn is whether you should test for an MTHFR mutation. From what I understand that can contribute to miscarriages too.

I'm so sorry you've gone through this. Don't let your friend's silly comment get to you. C'mon. Think of all the problem-people who manage to create children. It's completely illogical, much less spiritual.

Hope you get this resolved - hang in there.

1 mom found this helpful

I had the same situation. I had two kids, easy conception, easy pregnancies, easy all the way around. When we went for number 3(I was 31), I had two back to back miscarriages (8 wks and 6 wks). I spent two years chasing answers, spending tons at fertility doctors. One lady wanted me injecting steroids twice a day, have IGC (?) transfusions, weekly ultrasounds, a special very restrictive diet.........It ended up all I needed to do was take extra folic acid and a baby asprin. (I chose to go with the least medical intervention and try our luck) We now have an 11 month old!!!

I understand your feelings of defeat. I felt angry and betrayed by my body. It was so easy before. Why couldn't I make this work now? Was I dying? What was wrong with me? Was God or the universe trying to stop me from getting in over my head? Trying to tell me that was more than I could handle? Please know that there is hope for you, and it might not require terrible amounts of drugs or fertility treatments. Hopefully you and your doctor will be able to figure out something that will work for you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to add to your family. People seem to think anyone who wants more than two kids is being "greedy" or "selfish". Most of my friends told me I should just give up and be thankful. I already had a boy and a girl, what more could I possibly want? I also had a friend who said it was clearly a sign that I should never have more kids. Ouch.

You are so completely not alone. I learned after my experiences that so many women have had miscarriages. I would say more than half my mommy friends have been through it. Some went on to have more, some didn't. Statistically, 15% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage.

Best of luck to you. Email me if you want to discuss further. My heart goes out to you.

1 mom found this helpful

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